He very much did not want to do this, he would rather spend a weak in the thorn-tail Glorg pit, but no, as a clerk to the Galactic Assembly, he had to do THIS..... it was almost worth it to think about quitting, but he supposed this job didn't stack up to spending the rest of his life working in the Glorg pit, so he sighed picked up his Info-board, and headed out into in the crisp early-morning air. Ardus (the alabaster moon) was just beginning to sink towards the horizon. Tan'nas (Their blue moon still stood high in the sky. Their distant star was just beginning turn the sky a pale pink.

With trudging steps he made his way towards the distant edge of the city where the.... creatures had made their camp..... camp..... They were spending their time OUTSIDE, in.... in CLOTH houses like heathens... barbarians. WHO MADE HOUSES OUT OF CLOTH!

He took the last few steps slowly and with great caution, but heard nothing. With caution, he peeked into the cloth houses, and found them completely abandoned. He felt his circulation drop.... Not even 1/10 of a cycle, and he had already failed his job. It was the Glorg pit for sure now!

That's when he heard the noises

In curiosity, and with a slight measure of hope, He turned following the distant thrumming through the ground. It was oddly.... Regular, almost mechanically regular beat.

Coming over the rise he nearly yipped in fear and fell back.

The humans were preparing for war.... Oh it was horrible, they walked beside each other in two terribly synchronized columns moving at the exact same timing and speed, a single beast with ten pairs of legs and ten pairs of arms.... And so, so many eyes. Their shadows marched beside them, long black cords of horribly perfect movement. He had no idea that humans had hive minds..... Oh, but they must being able to move like that. He had to tell the assembly. The humans began to move even faster now, keeping impossible step the rhythm of their feet jarring through the ground with a terrible power.

He couldn't move, and while he was frozen, he finally noticed..... speech? It was barely recognizable as such spoken with that a sort of eerie rhythm.

"When my Granny was 91 she did PT just for fun!" The phrase repeated back, completely nonsensical as the humans jogged around the open field single body trampling delicate purple spindle-root. He had absolutely no idea what a PT, or a Granny was: ninety one of what?

"When my Granny was 95, she did PT to stay alive." The mesmeric way they moved was almost to hypnotic to bare, and he scooted just a little bit closer.

"When my Granny was 97, she up and died and went to heaven. " He was watching them from behind a rock now hoping they wouldn't notice him in the high contrast landscape of morning.

"She met St. Peter at the pearly gate.... Said 'St. Peter, hope I'm not late.... St. Peter said with a big ol' grin.... 'Get down Granny and knock out ten." Together the column took another perfect lap chanting the whole wile.

"ON YOUR FACES!" He jumped nearly braining himself on a rock as the entire group of humans just fell to the ground onto all fours bodies stiff and ridged as they used their arms to push themselves away from the ground repeatedly, it didn't really make sense.

They did many rounds of this before eventually leaping to their feet in perfectly aligned rows.

The human who had been calling instructions stood in front of the group, "LIEUTENANT VIR, wipe that idiot grin off your face!"

There was a pause, "Sgt. Can you tell him to do that?" One of the men wondered. The other human glowered at him.

"You're damn right I can. Captain told me to keep an eye on his crazy ass self because he's a reckless man child with a kink for being probed by aliens." All the humans let of an odd repeated revving noise. He hunkered back into the rock.

A very lightly colored human on the front left of the group tilted his head, "Weren't you stationed in Japan for a while, Sir." The human was showing his teeth. The GA Clerk wasn't really sure what that was supposed to mean.

"What are you implying lieutenant?" The man growled.

"Nothing Sir, I am trying to figure out which is worse: aliens or tentacles." More of that odd revving noise broke up around the group. One of the humans didn't make that sound looking around at his companions in what MUST have been confusion.

There was silence from the human until he to let off that odd revving noise then paused, "I don't know kid, you tell me, some aliens have both..... Anyway, Were is that guy the GA were supposed to send?"

"You mean that guy right there?" One of the humans asked, before pointing directly at him.

He almost fell over and died. Right here in the early morning sunrise, his blood would paint the rocks blue.

All the humans turned to look, and then began approaching in an open line, the pale human, reaching him first, walked around in a wide circle as if he was examining his next meal. He felt like he was going to die. With his Info-pad held in front of him desperately, shaking he began, "The g-galactic as-assembly has asked that.... That I introduce you to our, our planet more formally, while peace talks.... Continue."

"Cool, where do we start?"

He stuttered and stammered. Eventually the humans seemed to grow annoyed, "Why don't we walk around and you just answer questions?"

That seemed fair.

He didn't do anything that day accept for watch the humans as they entertained themselves. Of course these crazy creatures insisted on heading to the most dangerous areas starting by the Nion River (meaning the death river locally). Crouched in the bushes, the humans listened to the wildlife around them eyes scanning the area predatorily. A nearby Drig let off a chirping whirring noise.

The humans lifted their heads looking around. The light human raised his hands to the others, and then, amazingly, he let off that same whirring chirp. It was amazing, before long, the rest of the humans were mimicking the noise, and they were surrounded by a flock of Drig. At least it was amazing, until the purpose of the mimicking ability became apparent, and one of the humans sprung suddenly from a crouched position flying with all her predatory instinct through the air, catching one of the unsuspecting creatures midflight.

He chirped covering his eyes. The humans grew up in a sudden frenzy of noise, and he imagined them terribly tearing the poor creature apart with their teeth. When he opened his eyes, he saw something completely different.

"Look, you hurt it." The light skinned human rebuked. Looking over, the clerk found the human holding the creature in his cupped hands. The other human that caught the creature dropped her head.

"I didn't mean to hurt it, is it ok?" She reached out a hand to touch it, but the other human pulled his hands back closing them over the creature. The other humans were gathered around trying to get a look. The pale human pulled back from them, "No, if you guys can't contain yourselves around the wildlife, than you don't deserve them." He opened the palm of his hand using a single finger to stroke the creature's head, "Isn't that right, Snuffy."

"You named it?" One of the humans asked, peering over his shoulder from the left.

The pale human shrugged away, "Yeah, I did, so be nice or shove off."

He watched the humans in surprise and confusion as the pale human carried the Drig in the palms of his hands while the others crowded around him trying to get a good look. The humans had caught the creatures.... And then.... Named it, and were now caring for it? None of that made sense in context.

As they walked, the strange group of humans kept mimicking the wildlife, the more complex the sounds, the more fun the humans seemed to have trying to mimic it, they whirred, they buzzed, and they growled and popped over and over and over again. Most of the time he wouldn't have been able to pick out the difference between the human and the animals, it was actually quite amazing.

They walked around for a few more hours like that stopping to feed the humans at the top of a hill watching as their third moon Demnis (the jade moon) rose above the horizon. It was larger than their other moons and was a lovely delicate shade of green at the height of summer. The pale human had taken off one of his boots and was allowing the injured creature to rest there in the light of the sun looking half dazed and confused as the other humans walked over to make sure the creature was ok, sometimes leaning down to stroke it on the top of the head as they did so.

After eating, the humans began some of their odd hunting war games with each other. He was sure they were practicing their skills as killers, stalking, and wrestling, preparing themselves for the perfect moment to kill. He made sure to hide himself well back from the group as a pair of humans got into it. It was the pale human with one of the others. They were standing using their hands in an attempt to throw the other to the ground and make hi submit to a more dominant force.

After a moment of struggle one of the humans managed to dislodge himself from the entanglement and push the other, hard, in the chest. The creature made a yip of surprise teetered backwards, landing on their back, overcorrecting and then bouncing head over heels to land on their side, and then go tumbling down the hill. All the humans rushed over to the edge, to make sure the other human was ok, but that didn't really make sense.... Hadn't he done that on purpose?

"Hey, you ok!" the lead human called down the hill

"Yeah, I'm good!" Jus at the bottom, the human hauled himself to his feet brushing dust from the front of his uniform like he hadn't gone tumbling down a hill just now..... Humans must be indestructible.

"Was it fun!" The pale human yelled as the man pulled a rock from his boot.

"What?" he seemed confused?

"I said, was it fun!" he called again.

"Well..... Actually yeah, it was kind of fun." The pale human turned to another and showed his teeth again.

"That's a good enough answer for me." And then without any provocation, the human threw himself down the hill. WHAT! Was this some kind of penance for almost hurting his own kind..... Punishing himself? But then one.... No two.... Four of the humans followed after laughing and whooping as they did so. They rolled and bounced stiff as boards arms tucked against their chests gaining speed until they finally rocketed past the other human and into the grass making that odd revving sound as they did.

One of the humans tried to raise, and toppled over sideways much to the amusement of his companions.

Once all the humans were standing again, they shuffled their way up the hill and...

DID IT AGAIN.

He just wanted to go home, he just wanted to go home and pretend this day never happened, why were the humans so scary, why did they have to be so confusing and doing insane things. They were hunters, but they would take care of the small animals they caught. They would play fight with others, and then ask if they were ok when it was done.

They threw themselves down steep inclines like it was some kind of game.

Stupid

Paradoxical.