Autopilot



Report ID 2241568


Author Krill


I have mentioned this before in earlier observations, but I want to focus specifically on the issue today. My argument with current biological scientists of the day is that humans have backup autopilot systems that they run on often and usually without notice, but the results of improper action under an autopilot state can be either deadly or funny. I have compiled a list of the things that humans have done when they are running on these autopilot systems.


· Young crewman working in shipping docks and is given an order by the Captain, young crewman answers, "Yes dad." Keeps working pauses, and then turns bright red as the crew starts laughing at him.


· Captain and marine speaking over walki-talkies. Standard human etiquette is to finish by saying over. Marine says, "Love you." Captain responds, "Love you too." There is silence before ruckus laughter.


· Bridge crew member tasked with shutting down bridge operations for the night, and with shutting everything off accidentally shuts off warp because the light was green, and the lights needed to be red, ends up giving the entire crew whiplash.


· Crewman goes to replace toilet paper in bathroom, ends up throwing entire role of toilet paper into the toilet.


· Crewman attempts to put his rifle in the fridge instead of the milk (just came back from mission and all of them were starving, weapons had not been secured.


· All humans, routinely walking into rooms, forgetting what they were going to do, and then walking back out, and then back in again.


· Crewman has a painting hobby, has cup of paint water, and a cup of coffee. Takes big gulp from paint water cup instead of coffee.


· Captain, returning exhausted from a mission, walks onto deck and goes to take off his shirt thinking he was back in his room. Luckily does not manage to make it through entire process


· Crewman mother of four supplies marines with weaponry, waves at them to have a good day at school as they leave.


· Crewman forgets to put on pants before coming to work, issue was corrected and he was sent back to his bunk for some rest.


· Bridge crew answers phone with, "Welcome to McDonalds how I may take your order."


· Marine, gets big trey of food after long mission, goes to throw away dirty napkin, ends up throwing away trey of food instead of the napkin. (He looked like he was about to cry).


· Bridge crew member was supposed to look up something on internet, forgets where he is and looks up something inappropriate. Realizes too late.


· Crewman, holding can of open soda and phone in one hand, goes to toss phone onto bed, ends up tossing open soda instead'


· Poured water on waffles instead of syrup


· Captain Ends up petting one of the crewmen instead of the dog.


· Crewman puts on glasses so that she can see so that she can find her glasses.


· Captain panics because he cannot find his phone, is on the phone with his family.


· Crewman accidently sprays airfreshiner on himself instead of deodorant.


· Marine walks into the locker room showers fully dressed after a mission.


· Most human devices are touch screen or hologram enabled, so humans can use their fingers to zoom in or re-orient objects on a tablet or a projection. Walked in on a crew member trying to blow up and image on a piece of paper by using two fingers.


· Crewwoman was supposed to pick her boyfriend up from the airport on her way home for vacation, was so excited to get home and have a break that he didn't remember to pick him up until she was at home taking a bath.


· Female crewman walks in to bathroom in the middle of the night, toilet seat is down and she doesn't realize it until it's too late.


· Captain routinely steers the ship into docking and doesn't remember doing any of it


I looked into this a little more after hearing about it, and found that humans have definitely noticed this phenomenon, and studied it to determine its purpose. It turns out, that humans are better at well-learned tasks WHEN THEY ARENT THINKING ABOUT THEM. Unlike every other species that have ever existed, human can preform goal oriented tasks without thinking about them, some estimate they spend at least 46%-47% of their time in an autopilot state.


So that means that the captain can potentially fly the ship better when he's not concentrating on flying the ship.


My question is, what the hell are humans doing when their brain is literally not thinking about the things that they are doing? What do you fill your time with? You know my species would love to be able to do this so that we can think about other things while getting menial tasks done and maybe solve some world problems while we are at it. Humans.... What are humans thinking about? Probably food, or sex. They have all this extra time to be thinking about new ways to help the world, but instead they use all their extra thinking time for useless shit.


Do you know what would happen to the rest of the galaxy if humans ever decided to take all of their powers and just use all of them for progress? No one would have any chance to do anything, the humans would already have thought of it. Luckily, humans are only about 20% motivated to do anything. Its like whoever created the universe was all like, I am going to create a species that is good at everything, and then I am going to make them a bunch of lazy assholes.

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