I know something about humans no one else does.

I know a secret that they hide behind their smiling faces.

I know something that haunts them in their darkness, in the quiet when they know no one else is listening. I know the secrets they keep in their dreams where no one can pry. When they chase death to play, I know why they really do it.....

You want to be friends with death when something far greater stalks you in your nightmares.

The humans had named the planet BOB. Some said it was because the scientists were lazy, some because it was an acronym for something ACTUALLY scientific. But general consensus had become that it was named BOB as a stand in for Big Ol' Boy. That's how humans work, they have trouble taking anything seriously.

To be honest, Krill was just happy to find that the climate of this planet was relatively mild and specifically NOT death world material. Somehow, some of the humans complained about this labeling the planet as BORING, but Krill disagreed. It was nice to be doing something safe for once, at least, as safe as you could be surrounded by a pack of humans.

A great opportunity to experience more of their culture, and what better way to do that than to participate in one of their celebrations. This one, June 16 from the earth solar calendar dubbed Enterprise Day, when the first human interstellar ship was launched from its docking station on the moon and out into the stars.

Something to celebrate.

The rest of the humans seemed to agree, sitting outside on the grass in their camp chairs in various stages of drunken delight laughing uproariously and talking with increased vigor. Captain Vir sat at their center, the life of the party, as usual. He had a drink in one hand in one of those red liquid vessels dubbed, solo cup. He had traded his usual work clothes for a T-shirt and shorts, which showed off his new bionic leg to some effect, all silver and chrome. It was supposed to have matching somatosensors implanted in the outer face so he'd be able to feel the limb again.

Krill wasn't sure how he felt about these human celebrations. He couldn't eat the human food or drink the human drinks, and the more drunken the humans got the dumber they seemed to become, but the weather was nice, the fresh air was good, and the sun was doing wonders for him as it traced its way across the sky and down towards the horizon.

It began to fade away late into the evening behind the horizon.

Captain Vir took to his feet placing his red cup in the grass.

"Where are you going captain, the fireworks are about to start."

The man gave a shrug, "To take a leak, if that's allowed."

The others laughed and let him pass. He made his way past Krill movement smooth and unhindered on the new leg, which hissed and ticked softly with his movement as he passed. Just as he was beginning to fade into the crowd, Krill remembered something he had forgotten to ask, and jumped up to follow after.

Behind him, the sun tucked itself slowly below the horizon casting a blanket of night over the colony.

Krill had made it far enough to see the captain as he passed by the recreation building heading in the general direction of the bathrooms.

A sudden flare of red light illuminated the landscape around them, and then an immense explosion. Krill yelped and fell forward nearly braining himself on a cooler. Around him the humans cheered and hollered, delighted with the colored explosions.

Krill lifted his head just in time to see the captain stumbling around the corner of the building. A trash can had been knocked over behind him, and he appeared to have been stumbling.

Krill was confused, had the new bionic leg malfunctioned?

He should go see.

Picking up the pace, he scampered down the hill as the ground was lit up with blue luminescence and another ground-rending explosion. He took the corner stumbling a bit, surprised to see bits of trash fanned out in a small trail behind the captain. The door into the recreation center hung ajar. Krill didn't think the bathrooms were that direction, but he followed anyway, entering the building as the outside explosions grew more muffled.

The hallway was dark and vacant.... Aside from the sound of clattering to his left.

In curious confusion, Krill followed the sound pacing deeper into the building as the explosions outside only grew more intense.

The clatter came again, this time from a door directly ahead. He tilted his head in confusion, wondering if some of the human stupidity hadn't rubbed off on him, as he reached out for the door handle. The door opened as another bright illuminant cut into the sky.

Krill froze in utter shock.

Outside the fireworks sizzled.

The captain cowered away from him back against a mop bucket causing water to spill over the side and onto the floor where he sat, curled in a tight ball. Both hands were raised to cover his face knees drawn up to chest rocking savagely as the explosions tore through the night outside.

Light cut savage lines down his tormented body.

A soft moan of agony followed another explosion shrinking further back into the closet.

Krill didn't know what to do. "Captain," he ventured over the sound of the cheering reaching out towards the man's hand.

The human reacted violently swiping his hand towards krill, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Krill backed up a pause in horror as the human returned to his original position, "Please." He finished softly.

Krill didn't know what to do, "I'll go get some help, captain."

He turned, but something caught him by the leg. He turned back to find the human looking up at him eyes wide with animal fear. Red light ran in trails down his cheeks glittering, "Please, don't.... don't let them.... See me.... Like this."

Not understanding, Krill still stopped moving back as the human crawled back to his former position.

A split decision, and he stepped into the small space closing the door behind him. The sounds grew even more distant, and only the ambient light from under the door gave them any sort of illumination. He sat by the door watching the human in worry and confusion.

Every explosion, every rumble, the human flinched shaking uncontrollably with the fear that racked his frame. Krill had never seen anything of the kind, it was gut wrenching to watch horrible to see as the fear clawed its way from the inside trapping the man alone and away from the others.... Here to suffer alone.

Outside the explosions were brought to a crescendo, and the human followed suit moaning in terrible pain and agony, one hand gripping his bionic leg in a twisted claw as the world erupted around them. Hands over his ears, he screamed, a sound drown out by the noise around them. Eyes squeezed tight shut, tears leaking down his face.

And then all was silent but the cheers and the calls from the distant hillside.

Krill remained frozen in silence

The human kept at his rocking for a long while before very slowly uncurling and sagging against the shelf behind. One hand messaged the bionic leg....

"I'm.... sorry you had to see that." The man finally muttered voice soft and raspy

Krill looked on in silence, he didn't know what to say. And for the longest time the human didn't say anything either, "You know I used to....." A shaky breath, "I used to love fireworks." His voice broke, "And now I ca.... I can't.... even....." He trailed off

Krill stuttered to find the words to ask what he was feeling, but didn't know how to put it into words.

The human let off a bitter laugh. The sound was cold and unfamiliar in the captain's voice, "I know. Humans are indestructible. Throw us from the sky, drown us, burn us, chase us, fight us..... tear us apart." Distant sounds of merriment washed the background in white noise, a chorus of joy to their misery. The man lifted his head eyes red face tracked with rivulets of water, "but we break Krill, and when we break we break hard..... But we do it mentally."

The small alien remained silent.

"I can't listen to fireworks now because..... During the war. Well, that's what it sounded like when.... When it tore of my leg." His hand rubbed the bionic replacement with increased vigor head tilted back an expression of agony on his face, "I can still feel it sometimes. The pain.... It hurts, so much.....but it isn't there anymore."

"It doesn't bother me most of the time, and most of the time I don't care. I'm a lucky guy, I have everything I could ever need or want, which is why..... it's so much harder when this happens."

He wiped at his eyes with his forearm stiffly gripping one of the shelves to pull himself to his feet looking down at krill. He took one slow deep breath and pushed the door open leading the two of them out into the hall.

Took him only a few minutes to clean himself up, and when he returned his eyes were bright, the smile was back. Krill couldn't have told you how the human did it, it didn't seem fake, and he doubted it was, but he couldn't help but notice the human's slight limp as they made their way outside.

I know something about humans no one else is likely to ever know.

The humans are broken.

Give me a human, and I could show you. Some of them struggle with memories of trauma, welling of unexplainable sadness, unexplainable fear, voices, while others struggle with addictions, doubts, inadequacies, loneliness.

They cry out in the dark when no one is listening shouldering their burdens in silent agony dreaming their fears by night and desperately chasing them away by day, some with drugs and alcohol, others with money and power, and still others with thrill and achievement.

No human escape, each one knows pain in the darkest places of their heads.

But it isn't all horror. Light could never exist without dark, and though many beings will never experience the walls of blackest pain the humans do, they will also never experience the very heights of joy that humans do.

From the fierce blackness of living, they draw a terrible joy balancing precariously at the very epicenter.