THERE IS GUM ON MY SEAT. Two hours into the plane ride and I've just noticed the green sticky substance that is now smashed into the corduroy leg of my pants. And that has been the highlight of my journey back to Washington.

After nearly five months of traveling with the BAU in their jet, it's sobering to be on a commercial airplane crammed in a tiny coach seat, stationed directly between an old pervert and an obnoxious child with a whistle and an impressive lung capacity. Even after pulling on my noise canceling headphones my head still began to pulse, so I grabbed my carry on bag and folded myself into one of the tiny washroom compartments in the back of the plane to kill the time away from my seat mates.

After washing down the three pills to help the oncoming migraine with sink water I tried in vain to remove the gum from the black fabric.

Being at the bureau such a short time, I was surprised when Erin Strauss agreed to let me go for three days. Not without m hitting the pause button on my contract, leaving it frozen until I enter the FBI building again.

But he had taken care of everything for me, including Erin Strauss. She seemed to be expecting me.

While I had planned on keeping this rendezvous a secret, Strauss on the other hand had told Hotch know about my trip. Which I should have anticipated. He's one of my bosses. He would need to know if I'm coming to work or not. Aaron then insisted on driving me to the nearest airport which I wasn't thrilled about but it did give me an opportunity to voice my decision of not letting anyone else on the team know.

"Ah. You don't want this to be made to be a big deal."
"Well... seeing as how they handled the surprise party can you really blame me?"

His reasoning was sound, and made perfect for me to blame the secretiveness on. It's true. I don't want the fuss of certain eccentric members of the team. But in fairness, I more so don't want the questions of the observant ones.

I could hardly keep myself together as I sat in the passenger seat of Aaron's car. Fingers laced together and ankles crossed to keep from trembling, the inside of my cheek bitten raw and bloodied.

Aaron was distracted by the road. Imagine if six profilers watched me get on that plane.

This would be over.

The good part? My alibi.

Carlota Quinn's.

Every good mission needs a cover. Especially with profilers. And I'm not great at lying, at least people seem to see right through me. So he made the lie real. Directed the recipient to travel to Portland Oregon where I would be staying under the pretense of visiting my dear friend Professor Quinn's.

I had surprised her. Walking into her university classroom, unannounced and observing along the sidelines while she taught her seminar waiting and watching for her to noticed me. After about an hour of her brilliant ramblings her eyes found me and she stops mid sentence to point me out to her students. And with a bit of persistence she managed to get me to the front of the class, her students all to eager to hear all about my life.

They asked me questions, some I answered, some I didn't.

I don't know how it happened but the next thing I knew, it was four hours later and I was answering questions about the different dialects in Ancient Greece.

"Can you pleeease come back next week?"

One of the students voices plays back in my mind as I stare blankly into the smudged mirror of the airplane.

"Now now ladies, and especially you gentlemen."

Carlota had to command the room on my final day there, silencing the students attempts of trying to stay in contact with me. By the final day I was out of light. Not having the energy to fake a laugh, to answer questions, or even to smile at the students. All I could think about was getting back to Washington, finishing my work here, and maybe being free like they are. The students. Some of them were older than me, in fact most of them were, and yet they have a much brighter future ahead of them.

I could only tug down my sleeves curling my fingers into the fabric to hide the dried blood beneath my nails and try not to blink- in fear the university was just a dream and I'd wake up with my gloved hands inside a chest cavity. Knowing if a recipient dies or the transplant doesn't take it would be my body they'd be harvesting from next.

"I have Nicolettes number. And we will have to set a time for her to video chat with us. Maybe if you all get above a ninety on the final... I'll make her number public information."

Burying away the bloodied memories I can't help but smile at the excited noises her students made, some of them literally cheering and accepting the challenge. But Quinn's and I both know, as does everyone else that ever attended her class, those boys have a better chance at defying gravity than they do getting above a ninety on her exams. I myself only managed to get an eighty six, and I have an unfair advantage.

"Attention all passengers, our captain has turned on the 'fasten seatbelt sign' as we begin our descent. Please make sure your seats are in the upright position and your tray tables are secured." The flight attendants voice brings me back to earth.

With one last glance in the mirror I tie my unruly spirals back with the elastic band on my wrist, hoping to deter the kid sitting next to me from 'boinging' my curls.

Reluctantly I head back to my seat, pulling my headphones on again to silence out the noise as I wait for the plane to land on the tarmac.

My anxiety spiked again as we began to exit the plane. There was nearly no room between bodies, and I find myself ducking into an empty row to let people pass to prevent them from bumping into me.

I close my eyes, taking a few moments to breathe. My fingers drag at my wrist, forgetting I had used the elastic band in my hair. Soon I find myself playing with the strings on my viridian scarf to try to release some of the anxiety.

I definitely miss the private jet.

After everyone left the plane I slung my travel bag over my shoulder, and adjusted my scarf before following the path everyone else took. Beelining straight to the exit of the airport so I can get some fresh air and pretend this little blimp in plans never happened.

It never happened.

It never happened.

"There you are, Niki!" The loud bubbling voice of the one and only Penelope Garcia greeted me as I walked out of the airport.

My lips part in shock as I turn towards her voice, only to find her holding a sparkly sign with my name on it in the center of a group of people waiting for their loved ones to leave their plane.

"What-" I adjust my carryon bag over my shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

She's not supposed to be here.

"I'm picking you up- silly!" She holds the sign with my name on it closer to my face as if I couldn't already see it.

"Doll, why would I ever do that? That's silly. You're so silly."

"No, no you silly lil' thing I'm not being cruel, I'm just teaching you how the real world works."

"Ah, ah, ah. Who's putting those thoughts in your head, babe? Can't you hear how silly you sound?"

"Don't call me that!" My voice bites harder than I had wanted and I find myself apologizing quickly. "I'm sorry Penelope- I- I'm-"

She holds her hands up like I had just pulled out a gun, just smiling brightly nonetheless. "I come in peace!" She laughs. "And I'd rather not leave in pieces."

"I'm sorry." I state again, my eyes falling to the blacktop.

"Hey, it's all good baby." She coos. "I know how you can make it up to me! But first you smell like an airplane and I'm here to pick you up— so let's get out of here!"

"You didn't have too..." I mumble with a smile as I fidget with the end tails of my viridian scarf.

Her smile only widened as she turned on her heel forcing me to follow after her past the crowding people.

"Don't worry, honeybun." She laughs as we walk towards her car. "As I said before— my service won't go unpaid."

I pause just before my fingertips can graze the door handle. My hesitance causing the blonde to look at me as if I've grown an extra head.

"I like to know what I'm getting myself into." I answer her unspoken question. My heart beating in my throat.

"Okay." She smiles wildly. "The rest of the team is driving back from Washington right now, we were helping with a case while you were gone- don't ask, don't want to talk about it... Anyways we are having a girls night, at my place. And I'm sorta gonna kidnap you to be there."

Oh.

Not everyone has alternative motives. Not every coin is double sided. Not every path is cursed.

After we both settled into her car, Penelope presses the lock button on the side of her door, locking us in as if trying to make her point clear.

"Okay." I say simply as I fasten the safety belt.

"Oh good!" She breathes out a relieved sigh. "That was easier than I thought. I was prepared to fight you into joining us."

Well this isn't my first time being abducted. And I'm positive it won't be my last.

"It's a good thing it didn't come to that. Did Aaron tell you to pick me up?" I ask, the question suddenly coming to mind.

He had been the one to take me in the first place, he called me every night, and had told me to message him when I made it on the flight back. It's not surprising he would have someone get me if he isn't able to.

"Five months and I'm still not used to you calling him that." She shakes her head with a laugh. "Hotch asked if I could get you, but he didn't make the sign, that was all me!"

"The sign was beautiful."

"We all missed you!" She suddenly shoots me a glare. "Why didn't you tell us you left?"

"It was a... last minute thing." I find myself trying to explain. "I-I didn't think it would be a big deal."

"Well it was a big deal! We've gone all this time with you, we don't know how to be without you. Especially not Spencer- I saw him use sugar in his coffee!"

I gasp at that, an odd hurt feeling spreading through my chest.

Rude.

"I thought that-"

"I did, I did get rid of the sugar but he brought some from the coffee shop! He drank more coffee than usual when you were gone, I think he had to make up for the missing brain power on the latest case."

"Oh." I shook my head, thankfully she didn't notice. She doesn't need to know that I did help the case despite being away.

Spencer had called me randomly, and after apologizing profusely about the late hour he awkwardly went on explaining things to me, and asking my input. That was the first time he had ever called me. He usually spoke to me in person, or Morgan and Emily would fill us in with what the other was thinking.

But he actually called me.

I hadn't realized how I became used to hearing his voice every day, until I went twenty four hours without it.

"H-Hello? Lette? Its um... it's Spencer, from work."

"How was Portland?" Her voice cuts though to me, making me notice the smile on my face at the thought. At her question my smile falters a bit, and I was glad that her focus was on the road and not on my expression.

"The students love you, and despite your young age you are even more knowledgeable than some of the best instructors here. Its a shame the universe drew you to law enforcement, you would have made a great professor."

The head of the university, a Mrs. Jaie said before handing me her card. The older woman made me promise to call her in case I decide to change my career, because she would make room there for me. A sigh passing my lips at the all too recent memory. As much as I wish I could return and help teach or do something I'm passionate about I know that can't happen, at least not anytime soon.

Two years, sixty-two days, twenty-three hours, fifty minutes.

Maybe then.

"It was... cold." I breathe out.

"Cold?" She laughs loudly. "You're so descriptive. Come onnn. Tell me all about it!"

"Um.. it.. a uh bit uneventful. But I had a good time." I decide to leave it at that and try to change the subject. "When is the rest of the team getting back?"

"They should be back soon." She answers, "I talked to JJ and she said she would meet us at my place around six."

I glance at my phone, seeing the time. "It's only noon?" I ask, shock forcing my head to shake.

"Yep! Just enough time to drop off your bag, you can hit the showers and even take a nap before we head back to my place!" She chirps happily.

"You're the best." I smile, glad I'll have some downtime after the nonstop three days away. I don't think I've slept at all.

"Oh, dont I know it!"
••••

At Penelopes house she had arranged on the coffee table a tray of fruit, veggies, crackers, and cheese paired with wine.

We sat on the floor around Penelopes coffee table, finding whatever space we could among the plushies and decorative objects that filled her sitting room.

After a couple hours and a few rounds of 'never have I ever' the discussion unavoidably rounded to my trip which I managed to dodge, then it was about JJ's baby Henry, new things happening in our lives, and about any new relationships any of them may have gotten into.

"It's not serious!" Emily claims as JJ reads out her past messages to some man she met in a bar.

"He's calling you 'bae'" she shakes her head.

"He also calls me 'mommy'." Emily retorts casing me to nearly spit out my drink as I fight off laughter. "Yet here I stand! With no offspring!"

"Has he... has he bought-ed you flowers?" Penelope kicks back yet another glass of wine.

"Well yeah-"

"Taken you out to romantic dinners?" JJ fires next.

"Of cour—"

"Has one of your 'dates' consisted of a slow stroll through a park?" We marvel in her silence, her lack of words speaking all we need to know. "Have you told him it's not serious?"

"Mother Fu—" We all laugh at the befallen face Emily makes as she comes to the realization that this man thinks they have been dating for the past four months.

"I have a question!" Garcia, whom I have learned cannot handle her alcohol, tipped back the rest of the wine in her glass as she made the muffled declaration. "I have a question... for Nic-col-lette."

My laughter begins to die down as I watch the bubbly woman slur her words.

Who knew one could get drunk on wine?

"And what question is that?" I ask, any smile widening as I prepare for questions about relationships, pets, and childhood stories.

"Why are you... why are you wearing that?" She grabs at the viridian scarf Spencer had handmade for me, rubbing the thread between her fingers. "It's sooo soft."

"I told you that it was cold in Portland, and I love this scarf." I answer her like a child, giggling as she rolls her eyes.

"More like you... yoouuu love the one that gave you the scarf."

"What?" I gasp, startled by her blunt words.

I look to JJ and Emily, but they both look alway, amused smiles on their face as they drink more wine.

"How come..." Penelope hiccups before continuing. "How come the FBI data- computer thing, says you don't exist?" Nothing could have prepared me for that question.

JJ and Emily finally look my way, tilting their heads to the side, confusion creasing their faces.

"You-" I start, the feeling of betrayal, hurt, and fear building in my chest. "You researched me?"

"Don't be new!" She shakes her head. "I do that to everybody. I'm a computer genius. I'm your pretty lil Reid if he overcame his fear of technology." She sloppily pours more wine into her glass nearly slipping the bottle. "But no, no, no. For you all I got was a birth certificate. No school. No medical records. No nothing." Her words slur together but that dosent stop her point from getting across. She squints her eyes at me, and points to me with a unsteady finger. "No fbi academy. You shouldn't even be at the bau with-without that." She raises her empty glass to her lips, attempting to take a drink.

Noticing the panic and hurt painted on my face JJ finally rests and hand on her wrist. "Penelope I think you've had enough."

"Nh nah!" She stands, making JJ drop her hand. "I wanna.... I wanna answer."

My face is burning. But whether it's red due to embarrassment, anger, or worry, I can't tell. My hands shake as I fumble with the strings on the scarf, trying to think of something to say.

"You have all these... degrees. No school records. No family records." Penelope sits on the couch, looking down at me. "Most Information on your birth certificate is redacted. Why would it be redacted? Unless-" she hiccups, "unless you were like- like me."

Like her?

"Penelope I..." I try to defend myself with no ammunition. The words die out quickly and I'm left in awkward silence, crushed under the weight of the three women's eyes.

"How do you know Aaron?" She continues. "He acts like... like your family. You never talk about... about it."

"Penelope, she dosent have to talk about her past if she dosent want to." Emily says sternly, snatching the wine glass from her hand.

"Hey!" She shouts. "Arent you curious? The one person who I... I can't get info on? Dont you think that's weird?! It's me!" She spreads her arms out, gesturing to herself.

My chest tightens, and my vision begins to blur. I stand up, grabbing my wallet and keys that were sitting on the countertop.

"No Nicolette stay!" JJ pleads and even Emily shouts after me as I push open the door.

"Thanks for the invite, ladies." I hurriedly leave the building, clenching my keys into my fists.

Luckily it isn't to far from her apartment to mine, and I was able to walk there within a fifteen minutes. At this point I don't even worry about passing any sketchy people that may appear this time of night. I don't care if someone comes up behind me, robs me, hurts me, kills me. In fact the thought won't even have occurred to me until the next day.

As I quickly find my way down the scarcity lit streets, my mind races a mile a minute.

What if we didn't do a good an enough job with my records? What if she finds out the truth? Would I be transferred, would Penelope and anyone she tells be fired because of me? Would they be killed? Would I be given a second chance?

Finally making it into my apartment I close and lock the door before leaning against it. My back slides down the door as I lower myself to the ground, bringing my knees up to my chest and hiding my face away.

Thankfully Penelope would be to buzzed to follow me here to continue the interrogation.

As the tears finally begin to fall I come to a realization.

I don't like Drunk Penelope.

She is bold enough to ask the questions Sober Penelope is thinking, and she is close to revealing everything.