The Gang


Y/n sat in the middle of J.R.s office repeatedly spinning on a swivel chair. Although she was pretty dizzy and felt almost as if her head would fall off she was bored. It was her first day on the job and she hadn't been introduced to her boss yet, let alone any coworkers. A random intern had let her in, which in all honesty didn't seem like great security to her. For being a super secret shadow government, they were super duper unorganized. Sitting in the office for so long caused her to wonder how she even landed the job in the first place. Her boredom may have led her to some memory loss at the moment. Although her memory was sharp she seemed to forget things that didn't matter to her. Looking at the desk in front of her she spotted a jar of markers. Grinning, she leaned forward took a purple one, and started doodling on her hand. According to the intern, Cognito had an incident with the president and a robot copy of the president. Judging by the atmosphere of the building and the look on the intern's face she figured she'd be in that office for quite a while. Drawing an eye on the side of her pointer finger and a mouth on her thumb she made a hand puppet. Y/n, again, spun around on the chair. "Doesn't this place look nice??" She asked her hand puppet.

"Looks a whole lot better than that old shithole of a workplace," her hand responded and Y/n nodded before groaning.

"I am going fucking insane," she banged her head on the desk before standing up. She looked over to see the miniature golf course in the corner and immediately looked away. It wasn't her office so she wasn't going to touch anything.

Ten minutes later Y/n was on top of J.R.s desk with a golf club. A putter to be exact. She had created a ramp off of his desk leading onto his map table thingy. She had hoped to hit the golf ball down the ramp, through the miniature city, onto and down a chair, and into the hole. Y/n wished that the trick shot could have been grander however his office did not have the best materials for her to work with. Lifting the club back and taking a swing Y/n put her plan into action. The club lightly connected with the ball at a 45-degree angle and watched it make its way through the obstacle course. The ball smoothly rolled into the hole and Y/n threw the golf club into the air in victory. "SUCK ON THAT B-... Nobody else is here. I am not insane,  am not insane..." Y/n mumbled to herself looking up at the ceiling and her eyes widening in shock. The golf club was hanging from the ceiling, from a hole that Y/n had made in the ceiling, after her victory. She quickly pulled the golf club out of the ceiling returning it to where she found it. She stood still staring at the ceiling until she heard a voice and footsteps. They were getting close and she panicked quickly throwing everything she had moved or touched back into place. Quickly patting down her hair and sitting down her eyes widened in realization. The table was facing the opposite way it was early. Surely J.R. wouldn't notice it but Y/n definitely did and she couldn't risk anything. Jumping out of her chair she ran over flipping the table around then ran back to the chair hurdling over it and taking a seat. She sighed in relief as the door swung open and somebody marched in.

"Ah, you must be Y/n!" He spoke as he rounded his desk and sat down in his chair.

"And you must be... J.R.?" she hesitantly smiled.

"That's me!" He winked. "Anyways let me just say I am honored to have such an accomplished detective join our team. You won't only be solving crimes to save people, but you'll also be solving things to control the world!"

"You have been begging me quite a lot to join this place," Y/n looked around the office speaking in a monotone voice.

"Yup! And as soon as I offered the food pass you joined in a heartbeat!"

"I can't resist free food," Y/n shrugged changing her gaze to look at the ceiling and J.R.'s gaze followed.

"Has that been there the whole time?" He turned to look at her.

"Yes."

"How embarrassing!" He sheepishly grabbed the back of his neck.

"Not really, I mean it's not even that noticeable-" Y/n started to say as a huge spider started to drop down from it and she shot out of her seat. Jr looked up also jumping away from the 8-legged creature.

"I think it's time for your tour!" he quickly pushed her out of the room. They both strolled down the hall chatting a bit. He showed her most of the building before coming to a stop in front of a room. "This is the war room, where you will be working!" he smiled, "Give me a second thought," he walked into the room shutting the doors behind him.

J.R. walked into the room and froze in his tracks seeing the mess. "Guys!" J.R. yelled but nobody paid attention. "HELLO!?!?! GUYS!!!" he yelled and everyone turned around to look at him.

"Yes J.R.?" Reagan looked up from the project she was tinkering with.

"Your new coworker is right outside this door and it is a mess in here!" He frantically looked around.

"So? It's always a mess in here? Are they even going to care?!" Myc crossed his tentacles.

"I don't know! She hasn't given much emotion so far! However, she is a pretty well-known and intelligent detective!" J.R. brought his voice down to a whisper, "And I don't want to look bad in front of her."

"I feel like you're overreacting," Gigi looked up from filing her nails and J.R. sighed.

"Andre! Put the goddamn drugs away!" Jr turned to face Andre who had been going to town with his drugs seconds ago.

"UGH YOU'RE SUCH A BUZZKILLLLLL," Andre groaned throwing drugs at J.R. It horribly missed J.R. heading towards the door just as it opened. Y/n walked in and having decent reflexes, caught whatever was thrown her way.

"J.R. let the man have drugs, I don't care," Y/n threw the drugs onto the table and everyone looked up at her.

"Did you hear everything-" J.R. looked flabbergasted.

"Duh, you weren't being quiet about it," Y/n rolled her eyes and he just stood there. "Maybe next time don't leave me in the hallway for so long though."

"Sorry about that-" he awkwardly looked at her and she raised an eyebrow. "Uh here are your new coworkers! Reagan why don't you introduce her to everyone!" J.R. quickly said exiting.

"Bye Bye Boss Man!" Y/n called out after him and waved as he scurried away. Y/n turned back around to face a giant mushroom thing. "Hi?" she looked up confused. The Mushroom placed a tentacle on her shoulder and giggled.

"HAH, I like this one!" he talked and her eyes widened.

"Myc stop freaking out the new girl!" Reagan groaned face palming.

"Myc Cellium, I'm physic," he spoke and Y/n's eyes widened in surprise.

"Really? You must have dirt on everyone here! Do you blackmail people!?!?"

"Yup I even know way more than I should about everyone in this room! And you could say blackmailing is a hobby of mine."

"Myc stop annoying the new girl," the other woman in the room beside Regan pushed him out of the way. "Honey, I'm Gigi, pleased to meet you," she held out a hand. Y/n shook it offering a smile. That's when another dude pushed his way into the crowd.

"Yo, I'm Brett! Welcome to the gang!" Brett and Y/n both did a G lock handshake on instinct.

"Why kind of sorcery in this! How did you both know what to do!" A strange dolphin man stared at them in disbelief. Y/n stared back at him, "Oh yeah, I'm Glenn I guess."

"You guess?" Y/n asked confused.

"Show some respect I'm a fucking veteran!" He yelled at her and Y/n nodded with a concerned look on her face. She turned back around to be greeted by yet another person.

"I'm Andre!" He grinned.

"He's a stoner!" Myc yelled.

"Myc shut the fuck up!" Andre snapped back, "But like if there are any drugs you need or anything, I've probably got them," Andre opened his lab coat.

"I'll keep that in mind," Y/n nodded.

"Guys stop crowding her oh my god!" Reagan pushed her way through everyone. "Did any of you even ask her what her name is?"

"Yeah, it was Melinda!" Myc responded.

"Actually-" Y/n started then was cut off.

"You guys are all assholes," Reagan groaned turning to Y/n. "I'm Reagan welcome to the war room, and you are-"

"Y/n," Y/n smiled shaking Reagan's hand.

"See I was right!" Myc played off his mistake.

"Myc you weren't even close," Andre deadpanned.

"Sure I was!" Myc crossed his tentacles.

"You know I'm pretty sure I saw a Wetzel's pretzels somewhere out there- I'll be back," Y/n quickly left.

"Good going Myc you scared the newbie away!" Gigi complained and Reagan sighed following after Y/n.

"Hey wait up!" Reagan called out and Y/n stopped turning around.

"Hey, Reagan," She smiled.

"Sorry about them back there. It can be pretty overwhelming sometimes," Reagan looked embarrassed.

"Eh, I don't care. I can be a lot to handle sometimes too. I was just hungry and J.R. gave me thissss~" Y/n held up a pass that gave her access to any and all food she wanted for free.

"Ah so that's how he got you to join," Reagan sarcastically said.

"No really! He got me to join by offering this to me!" Y/n smiled.

"No way," Reagan laughed and Y/n nodded. Y/n walked up to Wetzels ordered two pretzels and handed one to Reagan. "So you're going to be our team's detective?"

"I guess so, that's what J.R. told me he hired me for! I'm not that great and all but I'm not complaining. This is definitely an... interesting place to say the least," Y/n looked around.

"Tell me about it. This place is basically my whole life. But hey, J.R. wouldn't have hired you if you're not good at what you do!"

"That's true I guess," Y/n looked away embarrassed.

"I mean he did tell me you solve shit freakishly fast," Reagan playfully elbowed Y/n.

"I guess. It depends though."

"What's your record."

"2 minutes and 21 seconds," Y/n shrugged and Reagan's jaw dropped.

"That's insane!"

"I suppose."

"Well, we're glad to have you on the team Y/n! I'm sure you're going to be a great addition!" Reagan smiled and they both headed back to the wat room. Upon re-entering they all still seemed to be fighting.

"We're back bitches!" Reagan threw open the doors and Y/n followed after. "Y/n you have anything to say?

"Every day above ground is a great day, remember that!" Y/n quickly spoke everyone silently stared at her. "Reagan, what did you want me to say again?" Y/n whispered. However, the silence broke due to a huge gasp.

"Did you just quote Pitbull-" Brett's eyes light up.

"Uh yeah... I'm sorry-"

"Nono don't be I love Pitbull!! What's your fav song?!?!!?"

"Fireballs! Yours?!!" Y/n's eyes lit up.

"Oh god, we got us another music geek. At least this one seems to have a bit more... brain," Myc sighed.

"Yo Myc?" Y/n smiled.

"I prefer Mushroom Daddy, but go ahead," he flirted as Reagan facepalmed.

"You're a dick," Y/n glared as Myc gasped.

"Hey, at least she has a good instinct!" Glenn joined in.

"You should be glad you're hot," Myc mumbled.

"What was that?!" Y/n turned to face him and he went silent. Eventually, everyone settled down at the table continuing on with their day. Later on in the day, J.R. had come back into the room and everyone looked up from what they were doing.

"Somebody's office is ready!!! Y/n follow me!" He left as quickly as he came.

"Ughhhh I was fucking comfortable," Y/n groaned falling out of the chair and slowly walking after him. He led her to a small brown door and stopped in front of it.

"Yooooo, this is such a dope door!" Y/n spoke however J.R. failed to catch her sarcasm.

"It's just a regular door though?"

"It's just so beautiful..."

"Uh okay... well here!" He opened the door and Y/n gasped. The room was huge with a bunch of file cabinets. There was a huge monitor and a desk. There was a couch and a bunch of art on the wall. There were also little exhibits around the room with famous murder weapons.

"Woah..."

"Woah indeed. There's even a secret room in here!" J.R. walked over to her desk in hit a button. The wall behind her desk flipped revealing the room looked like an evil lair or something.

"This looks like the Batcave," Y/ looked around.

"It practically is. Just more modernized and more detective stuff and less crime-fighting stuff. You even are going to get your own personalized AI!"

"That's so sick oh my god!" Y/n and J.R. walked back into her main office.

"Well, I hope you settle in nicely, I expect good things from you," J.R. smiled. "I did practically save you, after all, ~ This place is way better than your last job."

"Yeah... Thanks again for that."

"Eh, it's no problem really. You are going to be a huge help here I just know it. Those assholes are going to regret what they traded away!!!!!!"

"This isn't an NFL draft," Y/n smiled and dropped.

"Might as well have been. Well anyways I have a business to attend to, and you can't keep the robes waiting. See you around n/n!" J.R. left and Y/n sighed sitting down. She pulled out her laptop and tried to get some work done.

I know this first chapter is lowkey lame but dw. Future chapters will be better and I should know bc I've already written some of them.

Comment