Fired


Everyone was exhausted from covering up the whole president's fiasco so they decided to let loose. Break a few things and the usual. Y/n hadn't really done much considering she was new and really wasn't assigned to do anything. She wasn't even there when the whole president thing went down. At first, she decided to just sit back in her chair and observed until Andre made his way over. She was eating a bag of gummy worms and Andre snatched it out of her hands throwing it to the side.

"I was eating those," she glared and he laughed.

"Come on Y/n! Let loose!" Andre shook her shoulders.

"Yeah break shit or something!" Myc yelled.

"Yeah girl, we practically have all the money in the world!" Gigi joined in and Y/n stood up walking over to the water cooler. Everyone watched in anticipation as she walked over to the water cooler and pushed it over.

"You guys happy?" Y/n crossed her arms.

"You're pathetic," Myc responded.

"Okay, what did you expect me to do? It's not like I was going to get Glenn to balance an apple on his head while I shot it off with a bow and arrow-" Y/n started to complain. Everyone gave each other a glance and minutes later Y/n stood on top of a stool with an arrow in her hands. Glen stood on the other side of the room with an apple balanced on top of his head.

"Y/n I swear to god if you miss and shoot me I'll-" Glenn started but was interrupted.

"If you keep complaining I'm going to miss and shoot you on purpose," she calmly stated as she lined the arrow up. "Don't move and you don't get hit."

"Shoot Shoot Shoot Shoot!" Andre, Gigi, and Myc cheered as Y/n pulled the bow back. She let go and the bow snapped rocketing the arrow through the air. It pierced through the center of the apple perfectly as Glenn flinched. Then just to fuck with him Y/n quickly shot another arrow at him missing him by an inch.

"Oops sorry, my finger slipped," Y/n threw the arrow to the side and Glenn glared.

"I SAW YOU TAKE THE SECOND ARROW OUT YOU COCKY-" he started to yell but stopped when she raised an eyebrow. Everyone continued to mess around as Reagan and Brett made their way to the war room. After opening the doors they were greeted by Andre swinging a bat at the globe, which shot across the room to Glen, who dunked the globe. Gigi was shooting Glenn with a paintball gun and Y/n and Myc were shooting lasers at each other.

"What the hell this place is a mess!" Reagan's eyes widened in shock.

"Rea-dog, cut them some slack we almost got nuked," Brett spoke up. This led to everyone talking about what they had to do to cover the situation up which led to Reagan asking how the damage would be paid for.

"Relax we have more money than god," Myc chuckled handing Reagan a bat and the globe.

"Yeah. What's the point of unchecked power if we don't abuse it!" Reagan threw the ball up in the air hitting it at the big screen. Just before it connected with the screen J.R. popped up.

"We're out of money!" He yelled in distress as the screen broke. Everyone stared at each other in silence for a couple of sentences before going back to their days.

Soon enough it was lunch and everyone was gathered in the food court, except Reagan and Brett. "So Y/n what brings you to Cognito?" Gigi asked.

"J.R. said he thought it would be useful to have like a detective on the team. He said he wanted somebody who could solve things fast. He also told me he'd want me to go like uncover and like discover people going against Cognito. J.R. also told me there are some cold cases he thinks I'd be able to crack," Y/n shrugged. "He's been trying to convince me to join for a while now."

"Well, we're glad you're here!" Myc wrapped a tentacle around Y/n's shoulder pulling her closer trying to get more info on her. Y/n looked at him skeptically knowing he wasn't really that nice.

"Myc if you want something just ask," Y/n pushed his tentacle off her shoulder and stayed still in shock.

"How did you-"

"I'm not stupid," Y/n gave him a look. "The answer is 6."

"Oh my god! Y/n~" Myc slid his tentacle back around her pulling her closer to him.

"6 what?!?!" Andre looked between the two of them. "Guys come on! No secrets!" Andre complained as Gigi looked skeptically at Myc and Y/n. Y/n just shrugged and went back to eating. Soon they were all just randomly talking about random things until Regan and Brett burst through the doors.

"We have to fire someone!" Brett yelled vomiting. Y/n quickly covered her eyes looking the other way as everyone else gasped.

"Look, skip the part where we pretend this is a hard decision and just fire Myc," Gigi quickly spoke up.

"Hey fuck you shoulder pads, If I'm going down I'm taking you all with me!" Myc yelled.

"I'm not retiring without a fight!" Glenn stood up slamming his hands on the table. "I know where the weapons are hidden in every room!" He pressed a button bringing out all of the weapons.

"Cool..." Y/n's eyes lit up looking at the walls.

"Guys we haven't even made a decision yet! Don't freak out!" Reagan spoke. "Just stay calm, and don't go gossip," she lectured everyone before leaving with Brett. The others just all stood there staring at each other.

"We're all thinking it!" Myc shouted.

Fast forward a bit everyone was sat down at the bar in Mcultra's.

"Can you believe they'd ever think of firing me? I've invented almost as many cures as diseases," Andre spoke.

"I need my pension guys!" Glenn complained.

"And I am not going back to my last job," Gigi frowned.

"I'll just let them fire me. You guys have all worked here longer and honestly I don't care," Y/n started to say.

"Y/n shut the hell up," Myc spoke over her, "Plus I know how we're all going to keep our jobs."

"Stop taking three-hour lunch breaks and coming back drunk?" Glen asked.

"LOL, Glenn no. I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna kiss ass like we've never kissed ass before!"

"Oh god," Y/n mumbled slamming her head into the counter.

Everyone went off to do things to make Reagan happy while Reagan and Brett tried to find out how to cut costs. After coming to the conclusion they'd fire Grassy Noel they both headed to the war room.

"Guys you'll be happy to hear-" Reagan started to speak but was cut off by Andre.

"Reagan! I'm ahead of all my deadlines, and so I started tidying up!" Andre smiled showing her the now clean room.

"And I had my makeup team whip up a little youth serum for your skin," Gigi grinned giving it to Reagan. Myc then started being nice to Reagan, and Glenn told her about the conflict he resolved. Reagan looked around the room smiling widely.

"Where's Y-"

"Right here!" Y/n burst through the doors dragging a body behind her. She looked annoyed and her hair was a mess.

"Is that blood-" Brett spoke concerned looking at her outfit.

"I just went through hell and back, tracking down this guy!" Y/n smirked throwing a random dude onto the floor in front of Reagan.

"Who is he-" Reagan asked concerned.

"AnnonoumousDuckTickler16!" Y/n smiled.

"Wait! Like the one who's been trying to expose Cognito for weeks now!"

"The one and only!" Y/n gave her a thumbs up.

"Oh my god, we've been struggling to catch him for months!" Regan looked down at him.

"Please... Help.... she's insan-" He started to speak and Y/n kicked him in the side very hard shutting him up. Brett intervened and pulled Reagan to the side.

"Reagan, what is going on here?" Brett asked.

"They think they're getting fired so they're buttering us up," Reagan scoffed looking behind her to see them all waving and smiling. They all watched in confusion until Brett turned around.

"Well, we've decided to fire-" Brett started.

"Nobody yet! Still so many factors!" Reagan cut him off. A few days had gone by and Y/n patiently waited in her office for Reagan and Brett. They were currently with Gigi and she knew they'd be heading over to her next. After around 10 minutes of sitting around the doors opened and the two walked in.

"Reagan! Brett! I have stayed up the past 72 hours solving cold cases! I've also caught so many people!" She giggled a bit and Brett looked at her in concern.

"Have you been sleeping?" He asked after noticing her massive eyebags.

"No! But who needs sleep? I love work!" Y/n raised her fist in the air and the other two cringed."Here are all of my reports and I filled out alllllll of your paperwork for you!" Y/n handed Reagan a binder. "Ugh, I have the worsttttt headache right now," Y/n popped a couple of pills into her mouth, "But duty calls~" Y/n pulled out another unsolved file and set to work while Brett gave her a disapproving look.

"Look Y/n I appreciate all of this but you can take a break you know!" Reagan put a hand on Y/n's shoulder.

"Really?!?" Y/n asked and Brett nodded and two seconds later she was wiped out on the table.

"My god, Reagan are you sure we should keep doing this," Brett cautiously laid a blanket on top of Y/n that he had spotted next to her desk.

"Why not, I mean I'm only keeping this whole thing up for... the other ones. Not necessarily Y/n," Reagan shrugged leaving the room with Brett.

"Yoooo Reags playing us..." Y/n mumbled quietly to herself before falling into a deep sleep.

After waking up from a decent nap Y/n headed to the food court meeting with everyone else. She took a seat between Gigi and Brett joining in the conversation. That conversation soon led to Reagan talking about herself... a lot. It's not that Y/n minded or anything but Reagan was being very repetitive and Y/n's attention span was very bad. Y/n sighed laying her head on the table keeping her gaze on Reagan. Brett patted Y/n's back offering a smile which she returned. He turned to Reagan frowning a bit. Suddenly Gigi and Andre stood up to go get more drinks and Myc followed after them. After talking with the two Myc decided to invite Reagan to karaoke night. She happily agreed and Brett pulled her under the table.

"Reagan!" Brett glared.

"Come on just let me enjoy this!" Reagan frowned. "For one day I get to feel what it's like to be you. And it's nice!" She defended herself. Y/n quickly popped her head under the table glaring at the two of them.

"Y/n!" They both laughed nervously in unison.

"So when are you going to tell the others you've been bullshiting us all this whole time," Y/n somehow made eye contact with both of them at the same time.

"You know!?!?" Brett asked.

"Of course, I know Brett! I'm. A. Detective. I'm also not stupid," Y/n rolled her eyes.

"Please don't tell them," Reagan pleaded.

"Oh, I won't. But just so you know the longer you keep this from them, the angrier they'll be when they find out," Y/n sat back up in her chair rejoining the others.

The day had moved on and everyone was gathered around a table in Mcultras while Reagan sang. "If I had ears they'd be bleeding right now," Myc clapped and Y/n snorted clapping as well. Glenn walked out on stage ready to sing proud to be an American... again. Everyone continued talking until Reagan and Brett made their way over.

"Guys, guys, guys guys. Listen up. All your jobs are safe! Everyone is employed!" She shouted, "Yay me!" She raised her hands in the air and everyone started cheering. "Instead we're firing Grassy Noel!" Everyone suddenly gasped changing the mood of the whole room.

"No! Honey, that man is a legend!" Gigi glared.

"Yeah, and a sweetheart," Glenn frowned.

"He talked me onto a ledge at a parkour convention!" Andre brought out a framed photo.

"Who makes a point with a framed photo?!" Reagan looked confused, "Anyways Grassy Noel is a killer!"

"You know I've killed people before! So are you going to go and fire me now too!" Y/n crossed her arms.

"Congratulations, Idiots. You just fired the most beloved guy in the whole company," Myc spoke.

"BOO, YOU GUYS SUCK!" Everyone started yelling at the two getting them both to leave. After the two left Myc instantly turned to Y/n.

"You've killed somebody before?" Myc asked and Y/n shrugged.

"I did what I had to," she replied and everyone gave her a look. They all hung out in Mculturas for a bit before hearing a loud crash and screaming. Y/n looked out the door and quickly shut it. "Guys, I think a few clones escaped," Y/n awkwardly said as the others got a look.

"What do we do!" Glenn yelled ready to run out.

"I think I know where we could go!" Myc said and they all followed him to some secret bunker that belonged to Reagan. When they made it downstairs they noticed that they needed a handprint. "Shit!" Myc yelled hitting the door.

"Here I what about this!" Andre pulled Reagan's clone hand out of his lab coat and tossed it to Gigi.

"Nice thinking Andre," Gigi spoke as she pressed the hand on the scanner and the doors opened revealing Robotus. Everyone gasped in horror meanwhile Y/ns was in excitement.

"Oh my gosh, you're the robot president thingy! How fascinating," Y/n put her hand to her chin before running up the glass and slamming her face against it. "I have never seen anything this advanced before... I wanna touch it." As Y/n said this Robotus tried backing up in horror obviously a bit freaked out. Y/n was suddenly pulled back however relieving the robot.

"Don't get too close to him, he's pretty dangerous," Andre moved Y/n behind him and she nodded keeping her gaze on the robot.

"I don't understand you!" Robotus yelled and Y/n smiled harder.

"Guys shut up I can hear the two idiots coming!" Myc yelled and everyone turned to face the door. Reagan and Brett ran in and everyone started arguing.

"Team meet my salvage project, Robotus Version Alpha-Beta," Reagan spoke.

"Pft alpha," Y/n quietly giggled.

"Oh, look. You brought the whole family," Robotus grinned explaining how he had been watching everyone.

"Okay, guys but seriously. There is a horrible mutant! No offense Glenn," Reagan started talking.

"None taken," Glenn replied.

"That is growing out of control and we need to stop it before it destroys this whole place!"

"How are we supposed to do that!" Myc threw his tentacles up in frustration.

"Andre, can you create a chemical compound to dissolve that giant flesh monster thing?" Reagan asked.

"If it can kill you, I've made it," Andre replied.

"And Glenn how powerful is your blowhole?"

"I have been kicked out of several hotel Jacuzzis," Glenn proudly said.

"And Myc, You'll be the bait!" Reagan turned around.

"Yeah, I will!" Myc enthusiastically agreed. "Wait what- what did she say? I never listen to her."

"Okay, guys. Let's go make some dead Kennedys!" Reagan said as they all put the plan into action. Brett, Gigi, and Y/n all hid behind a rock because they weren't really part of the plan. Myc had just walked out in his Marilyn costume and Y/n immediately brought her phone out to record it. For blackmail purposes. Myc started singing luring the monster out. It tried to crush him but Reagan had pulled up one of the hover cars saving him. Y/n stopped the video changing her attention to next to her.

"Well this is probably the end of all of us, and we're the hottest two people here... So-" Gigi started making out with Brett, and Y/n's jaw dropped.

"Seriously you guys," she stared at them for a second before looking back at the monster sighing. The Monster was just about to explode so Y/n ducked behind the rock so she wouldn't get hit. Gigi and Brett were hit with the monster's remnants and Y/n snickered a bit. A head broke away from the monster and started to escape. Everyone started to panic however a bullet shot right through the head.

"Happy Death Day Mr. President!" Grassy Noel spoke lowering his sniper. Everyone cheered surrounding Noel and Reagan unfired him. J.R. then came storming into the room.

"I've had a bad day you guys better have fired somebody," J.R. looked around.

"Actually we sort of destroyed the whole cloning department!" Reagan responded.

"That's an amazing idea. How'd you figure that out?"

"Reagan took us to the basement where she was secretly hiding- hiding a..." Myc started to say, "Hiding a- aha a good strategy! Because she is a good leader." Everyone agreed with his statement.

"Well carry on then," J.R. walked away.

"Thanks for saying that!" Reagan smiled.

"Well, it's true. Plus if you ever try to fire us we have blackmail leverage." Myc spoke.

"I have blackmail too!" Y/n grinned pulling up the video of Myc. "happy birthday to you~" Y/n mimicked his singing and started dancing around.

"Y/n. I am going to murder you!" Myc started to chase he as she ran backward showing him the video as she ran.

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