Chapter three: "So happy together"

Words count: 16 K


Warnings: All the Criminal Minds case dark shit we love. Cursing, as always. Spoilers of Criminal Minds season 2. Mention of cases: The Fisher King (Season 1, E22 - Season 2, E01). Alcohol consumption. Mention of drug use. Spencer acting his age, finally! 


Summary: Reader is slowly showing a little bit of herself to the team. Spencer meets (Y/N)'s friends and starts acting his age, which is something maybe Gideon wouldn't like as much as you might imagine. 


A/N: Hi!! Thank you for reading! I love this chapter 'cos baby Spencer gives me joy 💜 Also, what do you think of Paul? See you in the comments! 




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(Y/N)'s point of view


When did I become closer to the rest of my colleagues? When Elle got shot, and we were stuck with a case we couldn't solve.


It was the first time an unsub had all of our information. He knew our addresses, hobbies, and phone numbers. We were all scared something terrible would happen to anyone else on the team like it had occurred with Elle.


It was June 2006. The guys had finally taken their vacations when it all started. It was just Garcia, JJ, and me in the bullpen. I had been only seven months on the team, not long enough to have some time off, but I didn't really bother. It was fun being there with the girls, catching up with the paperwork, talking, and eating cookies. We didn't have much time to have fun at work, and we enjoyed it.


That until a psycho killer targeted the team as their victims.


After nearly one day off, everybody was back in Quantico, and the quest to catch that asshole began. The whole team was involved somehow: Gideon had gotten a human head delivered to his secret cabin as a warning. Aaron got a call to his house with a riddle, and then a packet was delivered to his wife. JJ got a weird butterfly with a clue. Reid received a key in Las Vegas when he was visiting his mom, 'cos the unsub knew where he would be that day. I got my favorite book with another riddle on it. And Elle was nearly framed for murder in Jamaica, where she was spending a few days off with Derek. The weirdest part of it was that the head Gideon got came from the dead body found in Elle's room.


It was sick.


I think Penelope had it worst. The unsub hacked her. That's how he got all of our personal information. When she explained what had happened, Gideon insulted her in front of everybody. For the first time since I got to the BAU, he really lost it with one of us, and she was his target. It was brutal. He blamed her for failing to keep his privacy, for putting the team at risk. He made her cry in front of everybody in the briefing room, and I had to close my eyes and bite my tongue so I wouldn't snap in front of him and ask him to be, at least for once, a little bit more human.


Garcia was apologizing, and he was sweeping the floor with her. I felt Morgan's eyes on me and looked at him. He was infuriated but still managed not to hit Gideon. However, I could read him easily: he was about to jump on him and break his jaw any minute. We both looked at each other for a few seconds until Gideon shut up, and we were able to refocus on the unsub.


I made the most significant effort to deliver my best in that case. We had a crazy unsub trying to kill us, a missing kid, Elle in surgery, and the rest of the team freaked out. Reid and I worked decoding the riddles and found a book that gave us more clues. At least I felt useful. The stress we were under was so big; I was sure Gideon would yell at all of us if we made any mistake. And the way he looked at Penelope each time they were in front of each other made it worse.




But what was a game-changer was meeting Mrs. Reid. She was crucial for finding the unsub, and though Spencer hated the idea of everybody meeting her, he had no choice. All the leads had taken us to her. The unsub knew Diana Reid, and she was the one that had given him a lot of personal information from all of us. It was clear she might be in danger.


- "Hi, this is Dr. Spencer Reid, at the behavioral analysis unit at Quantico. I need my mother picked up and brought to Virginia in protective custody as soon as possible."


I turned to him with a dazed look as soon as I heard him talking on the phone. He looked worried, even paler than usual. Spencer never spoke about his mom at work. He didn't want anyone to know about her mom. But if she was in danger, he was going to do everything it took to protect her.


I knew Mrs. Reid had schizophrenia because Spencer had told me all about her one Saturday afternoon we spent together. We were out to get coffee and stopped by a bookstore. He dragged me in and got what seemed to be a million books. That was just his weekly reading.


That's when he told me about his mother. She was an XV century literature teacher, so he obviously inherited her love for books.


- "I tell her everything... I write her a letter."


- "Everyday"- I finished his words as we walked around the aisle of the store- "I know, you told me, and I thought it was the most lovely thing on earth."


He chuckled and blushed. I loved to make Spencer blush


- "Does she know we are friends?"


- "Yes, she knows, and she thinks you are an excellent friend for always listening to me."


- "Does she write back every day too?"- he shook his head and turned to a shelf. He grabbed any random book and hid his face in it, pretending he wasn't nervous or comfortable.


Reid is very discreet about his personal life and problems. I don't think he feels comfortable sharing them with people, though he loves helping everybody fix their messes. I can relate to that if I have to be honest. It's one of the many things we've shared in the latest years.


- "Do you visit often?"- he shook his head again and kept avoiding my eyes. I grabbed a book and started reading one random chapter. I knew I didn't have to push him, 'cos there was something he didn't want to talk about.


- "I think I write because I feel guilty I don't visit."- he whispered after a few minutes.


- "Don't worry, honey... we all have problems with our mothers"- and I meant it- "My mom hates my job, and we don't really talk much."


- "Really?"- somehow, he was shocked- "I thought she was proud of your accomplishments."


- "She hates this job. She divorced my dad because of the long crazy hours. She keeps saying I am never going to get a real relationship or a normal life if I am in the FBI."


- "We don't have an everyday life; she is a little right about it."- Reid smiled at me- "My mom hates my job too."


- "Why?"


- "She hates... the FBI and the government."


- "No shit!"- I heard him chuckle from his book, and finally, he looked at me.


- "Yes... so I guess she ain't thrilled I'm in the bureau."


- "I am sure she is proud of you. You are her only child, right?"- he nodded, and I grabbed another book. He did the same. He gave each word we shared a lot of thinking. That wasn't weird at all, but that day I felt he was struggling with something.


- "Mom taught me to love books. She used to read to me every day since I was born. I loved to hear her bringing each story to life. Margery Kempe, Thomas Malory, or Henry Bradshaw."- he made a pause and smiled sweetly- "I have unforgettable memories with her growing up..."


And there it was, the sad look in his eyes that kept telling me there was something else there he wasn't sharing.


- "What is it, honey?"- I whispered and rubbed his arm softly. He gulped and looked around. When he noticed no one was near us in the aisle, he took a step closer to me and whispered.


- "She has schizophrenia... she is a patient at the Bennington Sanitarium in Las Vegas."


His voice was such a whisper, I barely heard him. But I did, and my heart shrank. He stayed still, just moving his eyes from the book to mine. I felt the urge to hug him. So I did.


- "Sorry,"- I whispered as soon as I realized he wasn't moving 'cos he hated being touched, and I had just forgotten it.


- "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to..."- but he wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I guess he needed a hug after that revelation.


We had a coffee, and he told me everything about her. How she had left his medication when she found out she was pregnant. How the illness advanced quicker every year as he grew up, until his father left them when he was nine 'cos, he couldn't (or wouldn't) deal with Diana anymore. And Reid was the one in charge of everything.


I couldn't imagine ten years old Spencer dealing with a schizophrenic mother, bullies in school, and all the responsibilities of being a genius. I would have collapsed with half of that burden. He had told me how bad things had been for him in school. But when you add his mother's illness, the equation is hard to solve. I don't know how my friend had managed to become such a functional grown-up.


- "Did you know that schizophrenia is genetically passed?"


We were sipping our third cup of coffee when Spencer delivered those words. I raised my eyes and looked at him, not knowing what to say.


- "Symptoms usually start between ages 16 and 30- he added with the saddest eyes I have ever seen."


- "And you haven't shown any, so far you are going great"- I know I didn't choose my words wisely, but I honestly was struggling to find the best way to answer.


- "Yes, well, men tend to experience symptoms earlier than women."


- "You are going to be ok, honey."


I looked at his hand and nearly held it but stopped myself, knowing it would freak him out. I had already hugged him. I didn't want to overwhelm him.


- "Thank you"- he whispered and sighed- "And thank you for..."


- "We should stop thanking each other for being friends"- I grinned and watched his eyes shine- "Just promise me one day you will introduce me to your mom. She has to be the best person to talk about literature on earth"- and finally, he smiled.


- "I promise I will."




When Mrs. Reid walked into the bullpen area, Spencer and I were making coffee. It was pretty late, and we were all tired. We still had no idea where Rebecca was, our missing kid. We didn't know who the unsub was yet. Elle was still in surgery, and Gideon was with her at the hospital. JJ and Morgan were in Virginia looking for information about the unsub. Hotch was on his way back to Quantico. And yet still, none of us ever complained about being exhausted. We had to keep going.


- "That's why you are so skinny, too much coffee."


Reid heard Diana's voice and nearly jumped. He turned around, dismissed the officials, and smiled at his mother. I stayed still, waiting for my coffee and making my best not to make a big deal out of the fact I was about to meet my best friend's mother.


At that point, I think I had already faced the fact Spencer was my best friend. He was the person I was with almost 24/7, and it didn't really bother me. If we had met outside the BAU, I'm sure we would have been friends as well.


- "You know I hate flying"- Diana was severe. She looked awkward and uncomfortable around the officials. I remembered Reid said she hated his job, and I remembered hallucinations are prevalent in schizophrenia. If she thought she was arrested, maybe Diana had a delusion of persecution. After all, Reid had said she hated the government.


- "I know, I'm sorry."


- "Then why did you get those fascists to arrest me?"- Spencer chuckled, and I bit my lips as I turned around and finished making my coffee.


- "Mom, they are not fascist, and you are not arrested. I'm trying to protect you."


- "By forcing me to do the thing that frightens me more than anything else?"- he stayed quiet and took a deep breath. I guess he wasn't ready to deal with having his mom there. I noticed Diana's eyes on me and cut her a short smile, waving, making my best effort to look friendly. She waved back, looking scared.


- "Come here. There's someone I want you to meet."




Spencer point of view


The day the whole team found out about my mom's disease was one of the hardest I had ever lived in the BAU. We were working in probably the most complicated case we had had so far, and we were under an unbearable amount of pressure. Knowing mom could be a target made it all even worse, if possible.


I couldn't concentrate the whole time I knew agents were taking mom from Las Vegas to Quantico. I kept walking around the conference room, staring at the board, trying to be useful for the team, but all I got was... nothing.


- "Come on, honey, let's get a coffee."- (Y/N) whispered and led the way to the kitchenette, knowing I was struggling. She was making her best to find a way to help me under those circumstances. There we were when mom arrived. I nearly jumped when I saw her, guilt, relief, fear, and happiness mixed inside of me at the very same time.


I walked to her and tried to calm her down. We didn't hug, and she didn't kiss me. She just held her purse tight, like it was the only thing that could keep her safe and sane at the minute, and stared at me, not getting what was going on. Mom looked around, trying to absorb the surroundings and trying to find a threat. And that's when she waved. I turned around and saw (Y/N) waving at her with a shy and warm smile.


- "Come here. There's someone I want you to meet."


I walked to my friend and took a deep breath. Yes, I was scared, 'cos those were two sides of my world that never, ever before, had collided. And I didn't know what was going to happen, mostly because my mother's behavior was always unstable.


- "Mom, this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She is my best friend. We work together."


They shook hands. That was already a good sign for me.


- "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Reid."


- "Spencer has told me a lot about you"- oh shit!- "Try to make him eat real food from time to time- I closed my eyes and stood in the middle of the two."


- "We'll have time to talk later. Right now, mom, I need you to see something."


Having my mother in the BAU is by far the weirdest thing that had happened to me until that day. The fact she knew the unsub made me feel worse. She could have been a target just because I had told her too much about my job.


I had never felt more guilty about anything in my entire life. And all because I had written her letters to attenuate the blame for not spending time with her.


I showed her a tape with the unsub's voice, and she nearly fainted. She knew the guy, and she realized she had told him everything he knew.


- "He spoke of a Rebecca."


Mom was in shock as she kept telling us all about Randall Garner, the man she recognized as our unsub, who had kidnapped his own daughter, Rebecca.


- "More in the abstract, I really thought she was a metaphor, not an actual human being."


- "A grail"- I was thinking out loud. Mom looked at me and nodded- "He believes he is the fisher king."


Morgan and JJ walked into the room that second. (Y/N) and Garcia were already there with me. And they had been the nicest with my mom. Penelope had given her all the cookies she had, and (Y/N) had been at her most soothing behavior.


Mom trusted her from the first moment, and somehow, she found comfort and safety with her. Was it because she was a girl? or because I had told her all about her? I had written about the rest of the team in my letters, but she didn't have the same reaction around Penelope.


- "Who thinks he is the fisher king?"- Morgan asked and looked at us, confused.


- "Randall Garner, our unsub."- I explained and avoided looking at them. I turned to (Y/N), and she cut me a short reassuring smile. She knew I was still too tense to think straight.


- "He believes you are all modern-day knights of the round table,"- mother pointed out, as Derek and JJ frowned, baffled. Right... they didn't know who she was.


- "Uh... Derek Morgan, Jenifer Jareau, this is my mother, Diana Reid."


I walked over and stood next to her. I could feel her body tensing as the rest of the team walked in.


- "Your mother?"- Morgan asked, surprised, as I nodded- "Ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you."


- "So, where are we on finding this son of a bitch?"- Hotch walked into the room so upset. I don't think it helped my mom to feel safer. (Y/N) turned to her and moved a chair closer, inviting her to sit with her. I thought mom was going to refuse, 'cos she was being wide alert and over vigilant, in case of any danger. But surprisingly, she accepted, sat next to my best friend, and I stood behind them to keep her close.




It was dark when I walked into the unsubs house with Morgan and Hotch, along with a SWAT team. But my head wasn't entirely there. It was back at the bullpen, with mom and (Y/N), who stayed back taking care of her. Mom was writing her journal when I left, and (Y/N) was sitting near, checking some databases with Penelope. It was a strange scene to behold. But somehow, heartwarming.


Garner was on the second floor, hidden in his studio. Morgan wanted to get in, but considering the unsub knew my mother, I thought maybe I could intercede to find Rebecca before anyone was hurt.


- "Mr. Garner, my name is Spencer Reid. You were at the hospital with my mother... I think she might have confused you. All we want to do is help Rebecca; that's precisely what you want, that's why you sent us the puzzles."


Morgan and Hotch looked at me like I was crazy. It hurt to know after all the time I had been on the team, they still didn't trust me.


- "Ask the question,"- Garner said from his studio, and everybody turned to me with a confused gaze.


- "There is no magical question, Mr. Garner."- I answered and whispered to everybody- "He believes if I ask him the right question, it'll heal all of his wounds."


- "Do you know the question?"- Hotch was honestly hoping I could say yes, but no.


- "I know what he wants. I'm gonna move to where he can see me."


- "Reid! No!"- my teammates commanded, but I ignored them, left my gun, and slowly walked down the hall.


- "Fall back!"


Garner kept commanding me to ask the question, and I kept telling him I was an FBI agent, the son of Diana Reid. Of course, the man was so insane he didn't understand it, he didn't believe me.


- "If you want the grail, you have to ask the question."


- "She is not a grail! She is your daughter. Her name is Rebecca."


- "My daughters died in a fire, and my son, and my wife."


- "Rebecca lived."


- "No, your mother, she explained it all to me."


- "My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic who'd forget to eat if she wasn't properly medicated and supervised!"


I shouted the truth and felt some sort of relief on my chest. I don't know if I did it so Garner could hear me or if I was just sick and tired of hiding it. I know neither Derek nor Hotch knew, but it was about time. I know it's hard for me to share many things about my life with people, but I spent my whole day, weeks, months, and years with them. I think it was the right thing to do.


When I finally reached Garner, I saw him sitting by his desk, holding the trigger of a bomb that was wrapped all around his body. I asked Derek and Hotch to wait downstairs with the rest of the SWAT team, but they refused to move from their spot. I didn't want to upset Garner by announcing the bomb, though things didn't end up so well with him.


- "Ask the question."


- "There's only one question that matters, Mr. Gardener, can you forgive yourself?"- I swear, I thought it was going to work.


- "I couldn't save them"- he whispered with pain and remorse.


- "If you tell me where she is, you can save Rebecca now, tell me here Rebecca is."


- "You already know, I sent your mother the map."


- "What map?"


That's when I realized things weren't going to end well and started to take a few steps back.


- "Can I forgive myself?"- Mr. Gardener whispered and looked right into my eyes- "No, I can't."


And as soon as I heard those words, I started running. A few seconds later, he triggered the bomb, and the explosion pushed me to the ground. Derek extinguished the fire that had reached my pants, and he and Hotch dragged me to the first floor.


- "What the hell was that?"- and he was mad.


- "He had a bomb"- not my brightest answer, I must say.


- "You didn't think we needed to know that?"- Morgan shouted in my ear.


- "I told you to go downstairs,"- I argued, knowing there was no way I was going to win that fight.


- "Well, you never said bomb!!"


The whole house was on fire, smoke choking us, but still, we managed to find Rebecca hidden in the basement and took her out on time. She was safe, and that was all that mattered. In this job, saving an innocent victim is what matters.




When we reached the BAU again, and JJ assured us Elle would be ok, I sighed, relieved. But soon, I noticed neither mom nor (Y/N) was anywhere to be seen.


- "Thank you all,"- Hotch said as he walked away.


- "Well, we could have only gone so far without Mrs. Reid,"- Garcia whispered and smiled at me.


Yes, that felt good. Somehow, the fact my teammates knew a little more about me and that they were supportive about it made me feel like I belonged there.


When I walked into the conference room, mom wrote her journal, and (Y/N) was reading next to her. There was a comfortable silence between them, and they both smiled when they saw me, making my heart beat faster. I tried to explain to mom we had solved the case and that she had helped save a young girl's life, but she didn't get it. Instead, she asked if it was lunchtime. She wasn't there; she thought she had to teach a class. (Y/N) looked at me and tried to comfort me with a short smile.


After the day we had, I couldn't feel anything but happy to see my mom was safe, even when her head wasn't in the right place. So I played along with her, asked her to attend her class, and earned one of her biggest smiles. She hadn't smiled like that to me in ages. I guess because I haven't been with her in a long, long time.


Mom was freaking out about flying again, but I had to take her back to the hospital, and the fastest way to go was flying. Strauss had been nice enough to let us borrow the jet, considering mom had been essential assistance in the case.


- "I don't want to do this, Spencer."- she groaned as we stood outside the plane- "You want to kill me, don't you?"


- "Mom, come on, it's just five hours, and we'll be together. Nothing is going to happen."


- "I can't believe this, I refuse to do it!"- and man, she was mad.


- "Mrs. Reid!"- (Y/N) ran to us and waved- "Mrs. Reid! You forgot this!"- she held one of her journals, and mom quickly grabbed it from her hands.


- "Where did you find it?"


- "You left it in the conference room. I'm glad I got to you on time! I thought you had already left."


- "No, mom doesn't want to..."- I made a pause, trying not to make her even madder at me- "She doesn't feel comfortable flying."


- "That apparatus is a coffin with wings."- mom argued, and (Y/N) chuckled.


- "Did you know driving is more dangerous than flying?"- my best friend tried to soothe my mom's nerves- "There are more than 5 million car accidents compared to 20 aviation accidents."


I looked at (Y/N) in awe. There she was talking statistics. She just smiled at me, excited to be of any kind of help.


- "Yes"- I added- "Per 100 million miles pits driving's 1.27 fatalities and 80 injuries against flying's lack of deaths and almost no injuries. Which again shows air travel to be safer."


Mom stared at us in silence and shook her head frenetically. I tried to hold her hand, but she grabbed her bag and journal tightly and refused to even look at me.


- "You come with us"- it wasn't a request, mother commanded (Y/N) to join our trip. 


- "No, mom"- I felt embarrassed by her behavior, even if (Y/N) coming along wasn't a bad idea. It could help to have her around. Mom seemed to like her.


(Y/N) looked at me with an interrogative look in her eyes. I smiled at her and shook my head.


- "It's ok, I can go alone."


- "I wouldn't mind... really"- she whispered and kept her eyes in mine. I know my heart skipped a beat that second, and I held my breath. Honestly, I don't think anyone had cared about me that much before.


- "Really?"- I whispered and stayed still. I couldn't move. She just nodded and looked around.


- "I just have to grab my go back from my car. Are you coming back right away, or are you staying over?"


- "We would go back right away. But it would be ten hours on a plane. Are you sure you want to do this?"


- "If you don't mind sharing books, sure."


And that's when I realized I had never had anyone like her in my life and that I would do whatever I could to keep her in it. I couldn't lose her. Ever. That was scary because most of the people I had cared about so far had left me, one way or another.


Her phone rang, and her whole face changed.


- "It's Hotch"- she announced- "Hello... yes... no, I'm still here, I'm with Reid and his mom... really? now?"


I frowned and looked down, overhearing her conversation with our boss. It was clear something had happened, and she had to go.


- "What is it?"- I asked her, biting my lips.


- "Hotch wants me to drive Elle home and put an eye on her tonight"- I nodded and sighed.


- "That's ok. She needs you." 


- "I'm sorry, Mrs. Reid, I can't go with you today,"- she apologized to my mom, showing an honest concern about her, which melted me and made my stomach flutter.


- "But I can drag Spencer to visit you as soon as we've got some free time, and you can continue the lecture we had to pause earlier today."


- "That sounds lovely, dear."- she answered, and I wide opened my eyes at her words. Was mom adorable with someone? Yes, she was.


- "Thank you so much for coming to help us with the case"- they held hands and smiled at each other- "Have a nice trip."


- "I can assure you, it won't be nice, not if I have to get into that thing."


- "Just a few hours, mom, then you'll be back in the... hospital."


I felt so guilty just to say those words, but a part of me knew that was the best for the two of us. I waved at (Y/N), and she smiled at me.


- "Please call me when you land, honey"- I could only nod at her and started walking.


- "I like her,"- mom whispered and winked at me- "Don't let her go."




(Y/N)'s point of view


My friends hated my job. All of them. Lu was the only one who supported me completely. Not even Paul liked the idea of me being at the BAU. He didn't even ask about my day at work, and slowly, our relationship started to fade. We didn't look like a couple anymore. We didn't even have sex anymore. But neither of us took the first step to end it all. So, we just continued to roll the same way for a few more months. It really wasn't that bad. We didn't even see each other so often either. My job never let me.


- "Are you kidding me?!"- Mikey was mad. He was yelling at the other side of the phone- "I've seen you twice in the last eight months! Ever since you are a Fed, you don't have time for us! It's fucking July already! And we didn't even have our annual barbecue this year!"


I was in Denver with the rest of the team, trying to find, yet again, a serial killer. And my best friend couldn't believe I wasn't going to be there for his show.


- "I'm so sorry, I'm still at work, and until we don't get the guy who is killing all these women, I won't go home."


- "I never see you anymore!"


- "I know."


Spencer turned to me and frowned. We were at the police station, it was almost midnight, and I refused to leave until we had at least little more progress on the unsub's profile, but so far, we had nothing.


- "I hate your job."


- "Please don't do this,"- I whispered and walked outside the room- "I really need your support, Mikey."


- "But I miss you. The guys miss you. Frank thinks you are mad at us."


- "Emo as fuck, as always"- I tried to joke, but I know Mikey didn't find it funny, he was upset, and when he got angry, it was hard to change his mind.


- "It's the third show you miss since you got this job."


- "I'll make it up to you, I promise."


- "How?"


I had no idea how to do it, but I knew my friend had to understand I wasn't there, not because I didn't want to, but because now I had a job that requires my full time and mind. I wasn't playing in a band and riding my longboard anymore. Now I was saving lives.


- "As soon as I get back home, I'll make you Frank and Lu a delicious dinner in my place. We can stay watching movies all night long if you want, and I'll have so much beer in the freeze, you are going to need another stomach to fill."


Finally, Mikey chuckled.


- "You better deliver, 'cos you have a lot of weeks of hanging out to make up for."


- "I swear, Michael James, you are gonna love me again."


Spencer furrowed his brows and kept his eyes on me when I walked back into the meeting room.


- "Everything ok?"


- "Yes"- I nodded and smiled- "Just an upset friend annoying me 'cos I can't be home"- Hotch raised his eyes to me but didn't say a word.


- "Paul?"- Reid's voice was like a whisper. It made me think maybe he was scared to bring him up.


- "No, he is already tired of asking, so... more coffee?"- everybody nodded, and I turned around and walked to the kitchen.


- "Do you need a hand, pretty girl?"- Morgan asked and tapped carefully on my back.


- "Sure do, start making coffee while I get more clean cups"- I opened a shelf and grabbed the sugar- "I hope there's enough here to keep Spencer awake."- Derek chuckled and looked at it.


- "I surely doubt it."


- "I'll steal a donut from the fridge then"- I opened it and looked for any sweet that might make him happy.


- "How's everything with your boyfriend?"- I heard Morgan ask, and I just shrugged in response, not giving the question much importance- "Guessing it's not ok."


- "I don't know what it is anymore. I get now why everybody in this team is alone... I wonder how Hotch manages his personal life with this job"- Morgan chuckled and turned to me. I grinned and started pouring coffee on the cups.


- "You've handled it very well, pretty girl."


- "Thank you."


- "I've seen you grow a lot these last months"- I bit my lips and tried not to make my smile too evident. I was happy to hear those words. Morgan has always been someone I admire and look up to, even when he can sometimes be an asshole. He is my friend, one of my closest friends, and one of the best SSA I've ever known.


- "I've tried to do my best." 


- "Keep doing it then, and maybe when we are back home, we can go and get some drinks with the team to celebrate your good work."- he smiled, and I reciprocated, excited with the idea.


- "Derek Morgan, I won't forget it. We have a team date now. I'll tell the guys."


- "If you manage to drag Reid along with you, I'll pay for all of your drinks."


- "Why wouldn't he come along?"


- "'Cos he is not the bar kind of guy."


I frowned, thinking maybe Morgan wasn't someone Reid would like to go to a club with. I mean, Derek was always going to leave with a girl, and Spencer was always going to be shy.


Was he? Yes, of course, he was. I couldn't picture my friend picking up girls in a bar with cheesy lines like Morgan always did. He wasn't that kind of guy, and I loved that.




- "Coffee for all my dears, plus a stolen donut for my honey bunny,"- I announced as I reached the table, and Spencer's cheeks burned right away. Everybody looked at us with widened eyes, shocked by the nickname. And all I did was to chuckle.


- "Did I hear that right?"- Garcia asked. She was on speaker talking with the team.


- "Yes, you did. You are not the only one using loving, weird nicknames in this team anymore."- I sipped my coffee and looked at everybody- "So, where are we on the geographic profile?"


- "Right!"- Spencer nearly jumped at my questions and started talking- "The unsub's hunting area is entirely untraceable. So far, he has picked his victims in three different city points that aren't connected."


I could feel Gideon's eyes burning my scalp as Reid kept talking. I turned to him and tilted my head. He fixed his eyes on mine and didn't say a word until I sighed and turned around, back to Spencer. I was sure Gideon didn't like me much. Why? I had no idea. He was too hard to read, or I was such a bad profiling him.




- "You are really sweet with Spence."- JJ said from her bed. We were sharing rooms that night. It wasn't always like that, but our budget was sometimes a little tight, or most of the rooms were booked. That was the case that trip.


- "Yeah, he is a good friend."- I answered and didn't look from my book.


- "The kid is adorable,"- she added, and that forced me to look at her. I could feel there was something else she wanted to say. So she continued.


- "I mean, he is like my kid brother, and he is a very complex human being..."


- "Aren't we all?"- I tried to continue reading, but I knew she was going to keep on talking.


- "Yes, but Spence, he doesn't open up with most people, and it seems it was easy for the two of you to get close."


I closed my book and looked at her. She was going through some files, trying not to make eye contact. I waited a few seconds in silence in case she wanted to add something else. But she didn't.


- "JJ, are you jealous?"


- "What? No!"- she sounded honestly surprised, but at the same time, her voice told she was full of it.


- "Then? what is it? 'cos that tone of voice is telling me something is bothering you."


- "No, no!"- she shook her head- "Don't say that! I'm not jealous. I just... think it's great that you are so close. Spence is never so intimate with people."


- "Were you his best friend before I got here? Is that why you are jealous? 'cos I am not trying to get in the middle of anything"- I remembered Morgan had told me something about it a few weeks into the job, how Reid and JJ were real close until I got there, and we became inseparable. 


- "(Y/N), I am not jealous. I'm just surprised he has opened up to you so fast. I mean, you even got along with his mom."


I swear to god 'till this day, I am sure Jennifer Jareau was jealous.


I left my book aside and sat straight on the bed. JJ looked at me and smiled, probably trying to ease the mood. I wasn't mad or anything, but she was uncomfortable. Bad news: she didn't manage it so well for a liaison, I must say.


- "Well, Reid and I have a lot in common. You know we are both nerds."


I wasn't lying, and she chuckled at my words 'cos she had seen us being a couple of geeks together, talking hours about science-fic movies and series.


- "That's why I'm happy you came along, I mean, he was kind of lonely, and you are really like him... "


JJ made a pause, and after a few seconds of getting her ideas together, she said.


- "I still can't believe he can do this job. I mean, he is too nice, too innocent..."


- "Are you serious?"- I hated every word she had spoken.


- "I mean, I'm not even in the field with you, but I can't understand how Spencer does it. He is so sensitive and at the same time so shy."


That comment made my blood boil in a second, 'cos it was precisely what Reid feared the most: that people thought he wasn't good enough, tough enough, that everybody thought he was a kid. I hated when the team treated Spencer like a child. I hated it because I knew it hurt him, and he was never going to face it.


- "Reid kicks ass"- I interrupted her, and my voice may have been a little harsh. - "Sure, he is young. Still, he is my age, and he has proven to be a fantastic agent. He is not just the brain. He can manage to catch a killer, get confessions, kill an unsub!"


- "I know, (Y/N), calm down"- JJ opened her eyes, surprised by my reaction. I hadn't been severe or mean, but I guess my words came out a little more passionate than I meant to. 


- "I'm just trying to say he is not your typical FBI agent."


I guess he was not, but the team always made it sound like they thought Spencer was weak. And he was so much stronger than they thought. You can't be soft growing up with a schizophrenic mother, an absent dad, dealing with bullies every day, or being the only 14 years old in college. People never thought about that, they just believed what they saw, and they saw a young, skinny man with still some innocence left in his eyes. That wasn't bad, but it wasn't all.


- "I just think people treat him like a kid, and he is not."- I tried to explain in a calm tone of voice. And I could have continued talking if it hadn't been for my phone. It was Paul.


- "Excuse me"- I put on a hoodie and picked up, walking out of the room, leaving JJ a little nervous and confused with our conversation.


- "Hey,"- I whispered as I walked down the hall- "How are you?"


- "I'm ok, you? How's the case?"


- "Hard... we barely have any lead and three bodies already... it's sad to think that guy has to get another victim to catch him..."


- "You are gonna get him, babe, I'm sure"- I know I smiled, surprised. It's not that Paul hated my job; he just wasn't usually so supportive of it.


- "And when you come back home, we could go out on a date"- that was even more surprising.


- "Really? What do you have in mind?"


- "I don't know, maybe skateboard to the park, look for that burger truck you loved... whatever you want to do, babe."


I know he was trying, but somehow I felt I didn't want to try so much. However, I was moved by the gesture, so I giggled (an honest expression of happiness) and agreed.


- "It's a plan."


When I walked back into the room, I made my best to be friendly, and cut JJ a short smile - similar to Spencer's frog face - and got back into my bed. I didn't want to argue with her or anything like it. And I knew I had gotten way too agitated with our conversation earlier. So it was better to take a deep breath and play it cool.


- "Boyfriend?"- she asked with a short smile


- "Yeah, he wanted to plan a date when we are back home"- I played my "nice (Y/N)" card and even tried to speak in a softer tone of voice.


- "So, how long have you been dating?"


- "Eight months, no wait, nine months, we started going out a few weeks I joined the BAU"- I sighed and looked at her- "It's no easy though, this job is so demanding."


- "But it's not impossible. You can date and be a good profiler if you want to; look at Hotch."


- "That guy never sleeps"- I smiled and added- "And he doesn't blink either now that I think about it, I mean, I can get that he has to be the serious one 'cos he is the unit chief, but damn! a few facial movements wouldn't hurt!"


JJ laughed at my comment, and somehow I felt a little more comfortable. A little bit of the real me slipped out in those words. And though we had a tense argument, I felt slightly closer to JJ that night.




Spencer's point of view


- "Ok, pretty boy, what's the deal?"


Morgan stepped out of the bathroom after what seemed to be the longest shower in the history of humanity. That guy takes his time in there, shaving his head, his face, and whatever it is that he does.


I saw the question coming but still didn't feel prepared to answer it. It's not that I didn't know what to say. I just knew Morgan wasn't going to let it go so quickly.


- "What do you mean?"- I kept staring at the pages of my book but could see clearly, with the corner of my eye, how Derek shook his head and sat on his bed.


- "(Y/N) called you honey bunny.  What was that all about?"


- "We have a few private jokes. That's all."


- "Private jokes"- the tone of his voice let me know I had chosen the wrong words- "Since when do you have private jokes?"- I thought about it for a few seconds.


- "For the last 210 days"- I looked at my wristwatch and counted- "Actually, 210 days, 23 hours, and forty-six minutes."- my friend groaned and laid back on his bed.


- "So she has been calling you Honey Bunny for almost 211 days, and we had never heard of it?"


- "No, she has been calling me that for 93 days actually... you asked when we started having private jokes."- Morgan chuckled.


- "So you two are getting closer."


- "We are friends, Derek"- I closed the book and looked at him, annoyed- "And I don't want you to start implying things that aren't right."


- "I'm not saying anything. I'm just asking you what's going on."


- "I told you, we are friends."


- "And I'm happy for you"- Morgan was sincere. I knew he was. But that didn't mean he was done teasing- "So, you and JJ? are you going to ask her out again?"


- "No, JJ is my friend."


- "You do have a lot of friends now. Maybe you should try to get a girlfriend"- I rolled my eyes and grabbed my book again, refusing to look his way- "Fine, don't have girlfriends, suit yourself!"


- "Just because you are unable to have a close female friend doesn't mean the rest of us can't."


- "What do you mean I can't?! I have excellent female friends!"


- "Name one."


- "Garcia!"- I chuckled and shook my head, staring at the same page of War and Peace I had been trying to read for a few minutes.


- "Sure, Morgan, there is nothing wrong with your friendship."


- "Hey! just because we give each other nicknames and tease doesn't mean something is going on between us"- I looked at him and sighed.


- "My words exactly. So we are clear (Y/N), and I are just friends, and I have no feelings for JJ but friendship whatsoever"- Derek gave me an annoyed face and nodded.


- "Fine, pretty boy, you win."


I gave him a pleased smile and continued reading. At least for once, I was free from his teasing.


I felt I was full of it, anyway. You don't have a friend calling you "honey bunny" and not overthink the whole situation a little. Or a lot, in my case. I couldn't help it. She was the sweetest, the nicest, the cutest girl I had ever been friends with. And it was starting to be confusing. She treated me like a friend, but sometimes I sensed the vibe of something else, something more significant. Deeper. But I was sure I was wrong. So I let it pass.




- "Hey! honey! want a ride?"


(Y/N) caught me waiting for the elevator on my way out of the BAU. We were back from our case in Denver, the paperwork was ready, and we were free to go. I was eager to get home, make myself a nice cup of coffee, and do absolutely nothing but reading until I fell asleep.


I looked at her big smile and nodded. I was getting used to her rides back home. It was becoming my favorite way to end the day, actually.


- "Great, but I have a little detour"- her eyes sparkled at those words in excitement as if she was taking me out on an adventure.


- "Do you want to go grocery shopping with me?"- ok, not actually an adventure. Still, it was different from my original plan.


- "Do I have to?"- I pouted and closed my eyes, 'cos the idea wasn't really appealing.


- "Of course not, I can drop you off near your apartment and then go all alone... alone... so alone"- her chin quivered and gave me the saddest face she could.


- "Knock it"- I laughed at her as the elevator door opened, and we both walked in. We were the last ones to leave, except for Hotch, who - we were sure - lived in his office most of the time.


- "Pretty, pretty please, honey! I need your help."


- "Grocery shopping?"


- "Yes, I need you to help me pick ice cream flavors. You are an expert."- she smiled innocently, and I gave her the most incredulous face I could find, tilting my head to a side as I stared at her in silence.


- "I just don't want to go alone."


And that broke me. I slumped my shoulders, defeated, and walked with (Y/N) to her car. If there was something I knew very well, it was the feeling of not wanting to do something alone.


- "Besides, I want to make you a proposition, and I would be delighted if you said yes."- she added before we got into the car.


- "Other than picking ice cream flavors? I don't think I'm prepared for anything more important"- she stuck out her tongue to me and laughed.


- "My sarcastic honey bunny, I don't know how my days would be without your jokes"- and as I got into her car and sighed, tired after another long day at the BAU, I heard her say:


- "I actually want to invite you tomorrow for dinner at my house."


- "Really?"- I looked at her, eyes wide open, and she just kept smiling at me, like a kid on Christmas morning.


We had done a lot of things together in the eight months we had shared since she joined the BAU: we had been out for coffee together on the weekend 34 times already, and we had gone to the movies eight times, brunch six, book shopping ten, hanging out in her or my place watching tv and eating pizza, twelve times.... but dinner? in her house, like with a proper invitation, never.


- "Yeah, I don't want to freak you out, but I was thinking, maybe you would like to meet my friends."


- "Your friends?"- shit, I didn't know if I wanted to do that, actually.


- "Yes, they have been pretty annoying in the last couple of days, 'cos I haven't really seen them that much since I joined the BAU, so I invited them tomorrow for dinner at my house. I would love for you to join us."


I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I wanted to meet (Y/N)'s friends. Not that I hated the idea, I just... hated the idea of being awkward in a room of strangers.


- "Why... Why would you like me to meet them?"- I nearly stuttered as I spoke.


- "Well, you are my friend, and they are my friends, and you are all special to me, and..."


(Y/N) made a pause and started driving. I don't know if she was trying to look for the right words to say what she wanted to say or too focused on the traffic.


- "And?"


- "Well, you have become my closest friend in the last months, and it would mean a lot to me if you met the other half of my world. I mean... you already met my dad."


- "We talked about a case"- I huffed, and she shook her head.


- "That's more than most people I know has ever spoken to him,"- she said with a sad smile- "And my friends have all heard a lot about you."


- "Why?"- I asked, confused.


- "Why did your mom hear a lot about me before she met me?"- she replied and turned to me for a second -"'Cos you are my friend, and though I can't see them often, I do talk to them, and I tell them what I do. And you are in everything I do."


I couldn't say no after those words, even when my social anxiety was already attacking every inch of my body. "You are in everything I do." I could relate to that.




And that's how that Saturday afternoon, I found myself walking out of my apartment with a bottle of (Y/N)'s favorite wine, 'cos I didn't want to get there empty-handed. And even when everything told me what I was doing was a bad idea, 'cos it would be awkward and weird, I just couldn't stop walking. It was beyond my own will.


- "Honey Bunny!! you are here!"- (Y/N) opened the door and invited me in. I took a few steps into her apartment and looked around- "You are just on time to help me cook."


- "And you friends?"


- "Running late as they usually do, come on!"- she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the kitchen- "Are you a good griller?"


- "Nope."


- "Have you ever actually tried to do it?"- I shook my head, confused- "Today, you are doing it for the first time then, honey, I need you to start grilling those burgers while I chop these jalapeños."


I nodded and looked around, confused.


- "Are you sure you wanna trust me with the food?"


- "As sure as I know you'll do an amazing job"- she smiled and handed me a tray with fresh homemade patties.


I looked at the kitchen island and noticed she had already done pretty much everything: tomatoes, pickles, sauces. She just needed to chop a few jalapeños.


- "So, tell me about your day, what did you do?"- she asked me and started looking for something on the shelves.


- "I talked with Ethan."


- "Your friend from college?"


- "Yeah, he has a big gig in New Orleans in a few weeks, and he wanted me to go see him."


- "That would be awesome! You should totally do it!"- I turned on the stove and did my best to remember anything about grilling I might have seen or read in my entire life. But I couldn't find anything.


- "I told him I would go if we didn't have a case."


- "You should. You haven't seen him in years!"- I nodded and kept looking at the pan as I heard her announce.


- "I'm gonna go change, 'cos I'm a mess. You are in charge of the kitchen now."


- "Are you sure you wanna do that?"- I shouted, already scared of messing it up, as she sprinted to her room.


- "I trust you with my life!"- she yelled back. And I know she meant it, 'cos she had done it.


Not every job makes you literally trust someone with your life. You are forced to do it being an FBI agent. That's why having a good team and people you trust it's fundamental. You need to have someone you rely on to do a good job. Someone you know won't get you killed, basically.


The bell took me from my thoughts a few minutes later. I had already managed to turn on the pan and placed four burgers on it. That was as far on grilling as I had ever gotten to.


- "Spencer! can you answer please?"- (Y/N) yelled from her room, and I stayed in shock for a couple of seconds. But again, though everything in my body told me it was a bad idea, my foot just walked to the door and opened it.


- "Hi"- I waved at the two guys and one girl that were standing in the hall


- "Hey! you must be Spencer!"- the girl shouted, excited- "I am Lucy, you can call me Lu, where's (Y/N)?"


- "She is changing"- I held onto the doorknob tight as the two guys walked in.


- "Hi, I'm Mikey,"- the tallest one said and waved as well- "(Y/N) said you don't shake hands."


- "And I'm Frank"- he was shorter and looked funny. He had a million tattoos and kept laughing out of everything the other guys said.


I have to remember I don't have to profile people when I'm not at work. But each time I meet someone new, I can't help but start analyzing their behavior.


- "Hey, nugget!"- Mikey yelled over (Y/N)'s room- "Stop getting pretty! It's just us!"


I had never heard anyone calling her names but Morgan. And Morgan called everybody names at work. This was her friend, so there was probably a story behind the nickname.


- "Are you cooking something?"- Lucy asked, and I ran back to the kitchen, scared I had ruined the patties (Y/N) had made. But no, they were still perfect. I looked around for something to flip them, a spatula... where would (Y/N) put a spatula? I opened a drawer and found one immediately.


- "Do you need help, man?"- Frank walked in and asked, but I shook my head.


- "Thanks, I just need to flip these"- and so, I did, and felt incredibly proud of myself, though it was the easiest task you could have in the kitchen. Frank nodded and opened the fridge.


- "What are you drinking? Do you want a beer?"- I was about to say no, but he stood next to me and gave me one. So I had no other choice but to thank him with an awkward smile.


- "So, you work with (Y/N)."


- "Yeah..."


- "You are the smart one. You are a Doctor, right?"- I started wondering what had (Y/N) said to her friends about me- "She talks a lot about you, I'm glad you are not the kind of awful boring fed I think she is surrounded with."


- "Frank, where the fuck is my beer?"- Mikey walked in and opened the fridge as the other guy had done before. They were clearly close to (Y/N), 'cos they walked around her house with complete familiarity.


- "Sorry, I forgot, I was talking with (Y/N)'s friend."


I could hardly consider what we were doing "talking" 'cos I had barely said anything, but I was ok with it.


- "Hey, what's up"- Mikey smiled at me, and I did my best to find anything to say, but all I managed to do was to sip my beer and nod.


- "He is the smart kid,"- Frank clarified and made me chuckle.


- "You can call me Spencer"- I managed to whisper and made my best effort not to be awkward- "(Y/N) told me a lot about you too. You are the only friends she had growing up."


Their faces lit with my words, they were proud of her, and you could see it coming from each of their gestures.


- "Yes, we met the kid when she was a mess,"- Frank said, chuckling- "We lived in the same neighborhood, the four of us,"- he added, implying Lucy, who I guessed was with (Y/N) in her room.


- "So you all went to school together?"


- "No, (Y/N)'s dad got her into an uptight private school, 'cos teachers told them she was too smart for public education"- that was new. She had never mentioned it before.


- "Be fair"- Mikey smiled at his friend and sipped his beer. I did the same and looked at the burgers. Everything was still good. Maybe I could handle grilling burgers on a pan after all.


- "She was actually smarter, I mean... we should finish college"- I snickered at those words, and both of them stared at me.


- "We are not her loser friends"- Frank tried to explain- "She just has a loser boyfriend."


- "Paul, right?"- I asked, and the two of them shook their heads.


- "You met the asshole, I presume?"


- "Yeah, I saw him once."


- "Did he talk to you?"- it was as clear Frank hated Paul, his whole body tensed just talking about him.


- "Not really, he just..."- I made a pause and realized (Y/N)'s boyfriend had never actually spoken to me the day I met him- "He just asked her who I was.... and that's it."


- "Well, we hate him,"- Frank said and looked around- We have a celebration ready for their break up, and you are invited.


Though the idea of her friends waiting for her relationship to end was a little rough, I can't say I disagreed with them. Paul was a jerk.




(Y/N)'s point of view


- "He is cute!"- Lu walked into the closet and leaned on the door- "I can see why you like hanging out with him."


- "It's not like that"- I know I blushed, but I couldn't help it- "We get along, we work together, he is my friend"- she looked at me with incredulous eyes- "Think what you want, he is just my friend."


- "Then why are you changing your shirt for the fourth time?"- I stayed still and looked at her, narrowing my eyebrows.


- "'Cos apparently, all my shirts are dirty."


- "Yeah, I can see..."- Lu pointed at all the clean clothing hanging around us.


- "Ok, ok, I'm ready. Let's go before Mikey drinks all the beer."


- "Wait! Hug me! I haven't seen you in three weeks!"- Lu wrapped her arms around me tight, so tight I nearly choke.


- "Shit, you really missed me!"


- "I did"- she let me go and smiled with such happiness I couldn't help but giggle.


- "I missed you too. I can't believe it's been three weeks!"


- "You've been busy catching psychopaths."


- "Yeah... I've got two in the living room right now."




Nothing prepared me for what I found when I walked into my kitchen. Frank, Mikey, and Spencer were laughing and drinking beer, like long-lost friends.


- "It's good to know you already got along,"- I managed to say before Frank and Mikey tackled me at the very same time.


- "You are a real person!!"- Frank yelled in my ear.


- "I am, Frank! and you are killing me!!"


- "Shut up!"


- "Shit! I thought I was never going to see you again!"- Mikey let me go and chuckled- "You look taller."


- "I wish!"


The two of them stood in front of me with silly grins, and I'm pretty sure I looked the same. I missed my friends. I had never missed my friends as much as I had done when I first joined the BAU. I was used to being with them whenever I wanted to.


- "Ok, come here, one more hug,"- I said, wrapping my arms around them tight- "Thank you, Mikey."


- "Why?"


- "You took a shower"- he chuckled and pinched my cheeks


- "That's how much I missed you, nugget."


I hated that nickname. It stuck with my friends ever since I won a nugget eating competition when I was fifteen. And I prayed Spencer wouldn't ask about it.


- "Doc, did she tell you about that nugget eating competition she won when she was a kid?"- but Frank opened his big pierced mouth.


- "He doesn't want to know that!"- I hit his arm and walked to Spencer, who smiled and nodded.


- "I actually want to know about that"- Reid wide opened his eyes and chuckled- "Did that really happen?"


- "If you tell that story, you won't eat tonight,"- I threatened Frank, and he just smiled.


- "That's ok, I won't tell him we went to a local fair when we were like fourteen, fifteen?"- he turned to Mikey to reassure our age.


- "Fifteen"- and, Frank continued.


- "Right! And we bet she couldn't win the nugget eating competition they had... and so she signed in, and not only won the whole thing, but also managed to puke the judge's table. Somehow, even the people in the first row."


I covered my face in embarrassment as I heard Spencer laughing.


- "Please tell me this is true!"


- "It is!"- Mikey nodded- "We don't know how the hell she did it, but she was like a hose of vomit, like The Exorcist, it was the most disgusting show I've ever seen... but she won"


All my friends were laughing, and I was mortified.


- "Oh, come on, nugget, it's a good story"- Frank wrapped an arm around my shoulder and placed a wet kiss on my cheek- "You've given us joy for the last.... what? almost ten years."


- "Shut up."


Suddenly I remembered why I didn't want my BAU colleges to meet my friends. Just Spencer, 'cos he actually knew the real me.




We sat to eat. Mikey, Lu, and Frank kept updating me on everything that had happened to them in the latest weeks. Texting is ok, but nothing beats talking. And shit, me and my friends talked a lot.


I was worried Spencer would get bored, but he looked like he was having fun, probably 'cos he kept laughing at every single story the guys and I kept telling.


- "Once, she came from school with her hands covered in bandages. She got home, and her hands were fucked up."- Frank was especially proud of that particular story- "Long story short, some random guy had grabbed her ass in school, and she beat up the shit out of him."


- "I've seen her fight psychopaths. She is tough"- Reid added and took a sip of coke- "Considering now she has a license to carry a gun, I wouldn't make her mad."


- "Yeah, she's scarier now,"- Lu added and stuck her tongue out to me.


- "Why don't you tell embarrassing stories about yourselves now? What do you say?"- I stood up and started piling the dirty dishes. Spencer quickly followed me, but I stopped him.


- "No, honey bunny, you are a guess tonight, so you don't have to do anything."


It was sweet how he blushed and sat down again.


- "Doc already has a nickname of his own?"- Frank asked and lit a cigarette- "Man, you really are close."


- "Shut up, Frankie,"- I yelled on my way to the kitchen- "You already got him a nickname too!"


- "She can't call people by their real names,"- Lu whispered, and Spencer chuckled- "She keeps calling me "Baby cheeks" since we were ten."


- "We call her weird names too, as a payback"- Michael James added- "I'm gonna go get another beer. Anyone wants anything else?"


He didn't actually wait for a reply; he walked with me to the kitchen and opened the fridge.


- "So, are you ready to break up with Paul?"- Mikey has always been straight forwards, but that day he was on fire- "We hate that guy. We like Doc now."


I turned to look at him, but his face was buried in my fridge looking for beer.


- "You'll tell me the fuck I have to do the day hell freezes, and I come crying at your door for help."


- "I'm just saying what the audience is thinking."


- "The audience being you, Lu and Frank?"


- "Basically"- Mikey closed the fridge and walked back to the table. I sighed and left the dishes in the sink.




I have always loved Mikey like a brother. Even when I actually have a brother. I met the little brat when we were five years old, and his family moved to the house next door. He was always my best friend. He, Frank, Lu, and I were always together growing up.


Living outside the city gave us the American dream of childhood, I guess. Lots of trees to climb, gardens to play in, bugs to catch, lemonades to drink. I don't know how many people out there manage to stay in touch with their childhood buddies as we did. It took a lot of work, it was a relationship, and you had to make an effort. But it was all worthy, especially in moments like those, when I heard them laughing in my dining room, probably telling Spencer another embarrassing joke.




- "Ok, Doc, your turn,"- Lu said and sipped her tea. We were sitting around the coffee table, drinking beer, just talking. Frank kept changing the music, excited with every song that came from the radio.


- "What about me?"- Reid blushed and looked at his hands, holding a cup of coffee.


- "Tell us more about yourself. So far, you know pretty much everything about us."


- "I still don't know what you do, actually"- Reid managed to avoid the question.


- "Engineer"- Lu raised her hands and then pointed at Frank- "Finishing his major in Psychology, believe it or not"- and finally, Mikey- "The best architect we've ever seen, as soon as he graduates"- all my friend bowed, and Reid chuckled.


- "Ok... well, there's no much to know about me."


- "How old are you?"- Frank started quizzing


- "Twenty-four."


- "How long have you been a Fed?"


- "Two years."


- "Where are you from?"- Frankie loves questioning people.


- "Las Vegas"


- "Awesome, do you gamble?"- Mikey finished his hundredth beer and tapped on my leg, smiling. He was happy we were there; I could tell by his glassy drunken eyes.


- "Actually, I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas, Laughlin, and Pahrump because of my card counting ability."


I chuckled, thinking so would I if I had his ability.


- "Can we go to Atlantic City? you are not banned there"- Frank's eyes were now wide opened as he heard Reid's words- "I swear I'm gonna get you all the booze in the world, and the shrimps... and the whores if that's what you need, you just gotta gamble and make us rich."


Spencer blinked, staring at my friend, as I smacked Frank's head.


- "(Y/N)! Fuck! that hurt!"


- "You can't use Spencer's talents for evil! The guy is a hero, for Christ's sake!"- Reid looked at me, blushing, and I winked- "Besides, he's FBI; he can't do that!"


- "You are FBI too, SSA (Y/L/N)"- Lu threw me a napkin.


- "Shut up, baby cheeks."


- "And why don't you drink?"- Mikey asked Spencer, ignoring me and Lu's argument. 


I guess that's something that has always shocked Mikey about people. I don't know why. Maybe 'cos we all drink a lot, except Lu, but she is a fervent supporter. She always stops us from doing crazy shit when we are drunk, like only a good friend does.


- "I don't... I have never really drunk a lot,"- Spencer tried to explain.


- "Really? Not even in high school?"- I noticed somehow Frank's question made Spencer nervous. He was fidgety and turned to me for a second. I tried to give him my warmest smile to make him feel comfortable.


- "I finished high school when I was twelve, so...-"


My three friends stared at him in silence. Sure, I had told them Spencer was a genius, but I don't think they understood the kind of genius he was until then.


- "Ok, Doc, we are changing that tonight"- Frank tapped in his back and stood up quickly- "We are getting you drunk."


- "I don't think you need to do that,"- I argued, knowing Reid was uncomfortable with the idea, or with the pressure, as a matter of fact.


- "Oh! Come on, what if we play a drinking game? I'm not gonna force him to drink! I'm just saying Doc is missing one hell of an experience. Don't you want to know what kind of drunk you are? Happy? Sad? Funny? Emo?"


- "Are you sure he is majoring in psychology?"- Spencer turned to me and said, making Mikey and Lu laugh immediately.


- "I'm so sorry, you don't have to do anything,"- I reassured and moved a little closer to him- "Frank gets excited... well... with everything."


I giggled, thinking there was no way to explain the bubbly personality of my friend. Sometimes, he tries to overcompensate with excitement and joy in any kind of situation when he thinks someone is sad or awkward. I think it's a coping mechanism he has since his parents got divorced, and he saw how sad his mother was.


- "Ok, kids, we are playing "Never Have I Ever." You all know the rules"- Frank put a whisky bottle in the middle of the table, shot glasses, and another round of beer.


- "I'm out,"- Lu said right away.


- "You can play with beer sips instead of shots"- Mikey tried to convince her- "Come on, it will be fun"- and with those words, Lu accepted.


Mikey always had his ways around her. I don't know if there was a secret crush I didn't know about hidden there or what, but those two... I don't know.


- "Are you sure you want to do this?"- I asked Reid, and he nodded with a sweet smile.


- "Yeah, why not?"


- "Ok, Doc, ready?"- Frank smiled from across the table, poured the shots, and looked at us with an evil grin- "Never have I ever pee from the roof of a house."


We all looked at each other, frowning, confused. That, until Mikey grabbed the shot and drank it.


- "Fucker!!"- he punched Frank's arm as we laughed.


- "I don't wanna know!"- Lu covered her ears as Spencer and I kept laughing.


- "When? Why?"- he asked and sipped his beer. Spencer Reid was drinking beer and having fun. My job was done for the night.


- "Two weeks ago at Frank's... we were a little..."- he made a pause and looked at me- "Are you a Fed or my best friend right now?"


- "I'm always going to be your best friend. Why?"


- "'Cos I don't know if I can talk about smoking weed around you anymore"- I closed my eyes and held my head with both hands.


- "Milky, that's the silliest thing you've ever said in front of me, and you've said some stupid shit before. I don't care about your weed smoking, as long as you don't do it around me or in my house."


Frank stopped moving that second. He was about to lit a joint.


- "Oh, man! really?"- he asked in shock.


- "Sorry buddy, new rules, not my rules, but the government's... so... smoke it where I can't see you, ok?"


- "In the bathroom?"


- "Fine... but next time, make it a brownie, ok?"




We continued playing for a while. It turned out to be a fun game, after all. Until I realized Spencer had barely drunk. And my drunk self decided to change that.


- "Ok... so... never have I ever... finished high school at twelve years old"- the look in his eyes when I said that was priceless. I think he was petrified.


- "Burn!!"- Frankie yelled and poured him a shot- "Now drink it, Doc!"


- "Ok, my turn,"- Lu said and smiled innocently- "Never have I ever... killed someone."


I'm sure she had no idea. I hadn't told her other guys about it. Actually, only Spencer knew. And so, we grabbed out shots and drank them at the same time.


A heavy silence hung in the room for a few seconds. My friends looked at me in silence, scared and confused. I just nodded and cut them an awkward smile.


- "Yeah, so... it was going to happen eventually,"- I whispered and looked at my empty glass- "Maybe an extra one for the murderers on the table."


I grabbed the bottle, pouring another shot for Reid and me. I looked at him and sighed


- "Thank you, by the way"- he just nodded and drank with me.


- "Ok, this got too heavy and serious all of a sudden"- Frank can't handle sobriety that well either, so he clapped his hands and shouted- "Never have I ever kissed my best friend!"


There was dead silence around that coffee table. We all looked at each other, waiting for the one who was going to drink. But no one did.


- "Really?"- Mikey frowned, confused- "We haven't kissed?"


- "No!!"- Lu nearly yelled- "Unless you and Frank..."- they looked at each other and shrugged, to then peck their lips. I chuckled, thinking I couldn't get better friends even if I tried.


- "Oh! that reminds me: never have I ever kissed Lila Archer."


- "I hate you!"- Spencer whispered and narrowed his eyes at me as I just laughed.


- "No fucking way!!"- Frank kneeled next to Reid and starter bowing- "Dude, you are a god, I god I have said!!"


- "Drink, heartbreaker"- I poured his shot and watched him frown as the alcohol went down his throat.


- "Ok, really, I need details."- Frank said and grabbed his beer.


- "I'm not gonna give you details!!"- Spencer chuckled and shook his head- "A gentleman never kiss and tell."


- "But friends watch them kiss and can tell everything!"- I interrupted him and grinned evilly- "Let me tell you the whole story."




Spencer's point of view


I thought I was about to die when I felt someone shake my arm. I didn't know where I was, what time it was. What had happened?


- "Honey, wake up, we've got a case"- (Y/N) was in her pajamas, standing next to me. Her make-up all smeared on her face, and her hair was a mess.


- "What?"


- "JJ called, we need to..."- she stopped talking and yawned- "We need to sober up, we've got a case."


What the fuck had happened?


I sat down slowly, 'cos everything was still spinning around me, and looked at the mess we had made. I was sleeping on the couch, beer bottles all around me, and some leftover pizza we asked at two in the morning.


- "Where's everybody?"- I whispered and brushed my hands against my face in a poor and miserable attempt to wake up.


- "They left after you passed out."


- "I passed out?"


I really had no idea what had happened.


- "Listen, I'm gonna take a quick shower, then I'll take you to your apartment so you can shower, then we'll drive to Quantico, deal?"- I nodded and rested my head on the couch again.


- "Ok, just let me here for a moment."


Apparently, I had been on fire the night before, 'cos after getting drunk, Frank and Mikey tried to teach me how to ride a skate and took me downstairs. My scraped knees were enough evidence of my failure.


I had fun that night. Like I hadn't had in a long while. (Y/N)'s friends were probably the coolest guys I had ever known. Obviously, they would have bullied me in school. I guess. I don't know. That kind of thought always comes to mind when I meet someone, probably 'cos it was one of the first things I thought of every time anyone talked to me in high school and then in college.




- "My man!"- Derek tapped on my back as he walked into the meeting room- "What were you reading when you got the call tonight?"


- "Not now, Morgan"- he frowned and looked at me, sipping my coffee and then at (Y/N), right next to me, doing the same thing.


- "Are you guys drunk?"


- "What?"- JJ and Penelope almost shouted, and I closed my eyes in pain. I could feel her voice drilling my ears until it reached my brain. (Y/N) touched my arm gently and gave me one ibuprofen. Yes, she could read my mind, I'm sure.


- "The two stooges came straight from the party! Look at them!"


- "First of all, Morgan, we are not drunk"- (Y/N)'s voice was serious. She would always get like that when someone questioned her work- "Second of all, we didn't come straight from the party. We were sleeping, took a shower, drank coffee..."


- "Wait, wait, wait, little mama"- I knew precisely when (Y/N)'s mistake had been- "You two were sleeping together?"


The silence in the room was epic. JJ, Garcia, and Morgan kept looking at us in shock. I know I was blushing, but my best friend didn't even flinch.


- "You could say so, but no..."


- "I slept on the couch,"- I explained and noticed the proud smile on Derek's face.


- "We've got a double murder and a child abduction in Wichita,"- Hotch said, walking into the room with Gideon. His voice was as loud as painful. Everybody sat around the table and looked at him, but I knew exactly what would happen later.


I had never been so hungover in my entire life. Ok, I'm gonna reformulate that: I had never been hungover in my whole life, and I wasn't loving it, not when the team had to deal with a pretty hard case.




(Y/N) got me a Gatorade and stood by my side, staring at the board in silence. Hotch had been considerate enough to leave us at the police station working on the profile instead of letting us basically interact with people. Smart move, I must say.


- "I'm sorry,"- she whispered, still looking in front. I turned to her, confused. What was she apologizing for?


- "I should have let the guys go so wild last night..."


- "What? What are you talking about?"


- "You shouldn't be hungover..."


- "I'm not following you"- she finally looked at me and cut me one tiny guilty smile.


- "You are the most important profiler in this team, and you are struggling to stay awake because we partied too hard last night..."


- "As far as I remember, I was there, and you didn't force me to drink."


- "Yeah, but... I was the one saying things I knew were going to make you drunk."


And she was right about that. "Never have I ever gotten a Ph.D. in chemistry." "Never have I ever been banned from casinos." "Never have I ever read War and Peace over breakfast." She knew I would have to drink.


- "I was having fun, (Y/N), otherwise I would have left"- I knew she didn't believe me, so I tried harder to look convincing.


- "And your friends were incredible. They are pretty funny and welcoming. I usually don't get along with strangers... and usually, they don't get along with me."


- "They loved you! I swear! They are never so nice to any of my friends."


She was excited about it 'cos her eyes were shining and grabbed her phone from her pocket.


- "Look! Frankie texted, "Bring Doc to our show next week! I gotta pay the bet he won."


- "What bet?"- I didn't remember anything about any bet.


- "I have no idea... you two are now officially best friends."


Each time I remember that day, I can't stop thinking about how many ways (Y/N) had changed my life.




- "Reid"- on the way back home, Gideon called me and asked me to sit with him on the jet. I thought he was going to invite me to play chess, but no. Instead, he wanted to scold me.


- "I heard you were at a party the other night"- I chuckled and nodded.


- "Yeah, (Y/N) invited me over to meet her friends,"- I explained and was about to give him more details when I saw his face. He looked upset and disappointed. I didn't know why.


- "I thought you said she wasn't affecting your work."


- "She isn't."


- "Clearly, she is. You had never come drunk to work before."


- "It was a one-time thing, and to be fair, we were called at three in the morning. I have the right to party in my free time."


- "You should be focused on our job, we are saving lives, and if you continue this path, you'll be wasting everything you've accomplished."- he made a pause. I think he tried to be nicer or more paternal. Or, like (Y/N) would say, a little human.


- "I just need you to keep your priorities straight."


I was speechless. There was so much I wanted to say to Gideon, but I couldn't. Not only because I was so upset I knew I wasn't going to filter a word, but also because I felt petrified. He was actually treating me like a son, and that felt weird. It was heartwarming and nerve-wracking at the same time. I knew I could do whatever I wanted to do in my free time. And I knew if it had been Morgan who came straight from the party, Gideon wouldn't make it a big deal. Why me?


It didn't get better when we reached the bullpen the morning after. Five minutes after we had started doing all the paperwork we were supposed to finish by the end of the day, Gideon called (Y/N) to his office.


My heart dropped. I knew what was going to happen. And she knew it too. I could read it on her face. But yet, she smiled at me, so sweetly, telling me with her eyes, I had nothing to worry about. But I had a lot to worry about, I knew she would blame herself for anything Gideon might tell her, and the worst part was knowing she would think she deserved it. But she didn't. God! She didn't.


I stood up and tried to walk to her, but she winked and told me not to with a sweet smile. She sprinted to Gideon's and closed the door behind her back.


- "What's going on?"- Penelope whispered as she appeared behind my back with a box of cookies. It was like she could feel when something was wrong, 'cos she always showed when she was needed the most.


- "I don't know"- I lied and kept looking at the window in Gideon's office. I couldn't see anything, but yet, I couldn't move my eyes.


- "Is Gideon mad at her?"- I shrugged, lying again- "Is it because you were drunk at work?"


- "I wasn't drunk! I was hungover!"- she turned to me and smiled


- "Poteito, potato Reid"- she sat next to me and stared at the window with me for a second. I tried not to tell a thing and look as neutral as possible, but I knew it was impossible. Garcia always knew better.


- "She won't get in trouble. It's not her fault you can't handle drinks"- I wanted to smile, but I just couldn't.


- "I can manage my drinks"- I could feel her frowning at me, holding the laughter- "It was just... a lot."


- "Did you have fun?"- I nodded and smiled- "That's good. You deserve to have fun."


- "I learned how to skateboard"- I was actually proud of it, so I even showed her my scrapped hands and elbows.


- "Wow! that's awesome! who taught you?"


- "Frank, one of (Y/N)'s friends"- I answered casually and turned to Gideon's office again.


- "You met them? I need to know everything! She is way too private! What are they like? Were they nice?"- did (Y/N) want the team to find out more about them? I knew it was about time, but I didn't know if she wanted me to say anything.


- "They are nice."


- "And skaters? wow! are they hot?"


- "How would I know?"- I looked at Garcia, confused, and I could tell she wanted me to continue talking.


- "They were two guys and a girl. The three of them are her childhood friends, Lu, Mikey, and Frank. They were all very friendly to me. (Y/N) cooked dinner, we had way too many beers, played drinking games... it was fun."


I kept trying to make it sound real casual, but it had been one of the best nights of my life. What a loser, right?


When (Y/N) finally left Gideon's office, her face was red, but she walked casually back to her desk, sat behind it, grabbed a file, and started working. She didn't even make eye contact with me.


I looked at Gideon's office. His door was closed. You didn't need to be a genius or a profiler to know that conversation hadn't been pleasant. I opened one of my drawers and looked for my emergency candy stack. Yes, I had one. I still have one. It helps to go through the bad days, especially (Y/N)'s bad days.


- "I thought you might need one of these, "- I whispered and left a Snickers on her desk. She chuckled and sniffed.


- "Thank you, honey... I mean, thank you, Reid"- I frowned, confused, and kneeled next to her. Her eyes were filled with tears, and I could tell she was making her best not to cry.


- "What happened? are you ok?"


- "Yeah, I'm ok... you should go back to work"- she wiped off the one single tear that ran down her cheek and smiled at me.


- "We have a lot to do before we go home"- she was right, but that wasn't enough reason to make me move from her side.


- "What did he say?"


- "Nothing, nothing, don't worry. I'm just silly and emotional over nothing, really."


(Y/N) is an incredible liar. Still, that day, she was doing a lousy job. I frowned and held her hand, rubbing my thumb against her skin. I didn't do it often; actually, I don't think I had done it more than twice before. I could feel Morgan and Penelope looking over us from his desk, but I didn't care.


- "It doesn't matter what he said, you are my best friend, and I'm not gonna let anything get between us, not even this work, ok?"- she bit her lips and nodded.


I wanted to hold her and kiss the top of her head, but I only managed to rub her hand with my thumb for a few more minutes, looking at her eyes, doing my best to comfort her. There were a lot of things I wanted to tell her that minute, but none of them seemed to leave my lips. So I just stayed quiet, and she stared at me in silence as well.


- "Come on, Reid. It's time to work"- she finally whispered. I just nodded and stood up.


- "Hey, do you think you can give me a ride home tonight?"- she smiled back at me, and I held her hand for a second longer before I moved from her side. Gideon was looking at me, and I didn't care. He said I had to keep my priorities straight, and so I did.




Everything started happening too quickly suddenly. It was like the time in my life had passed so slowly until then. And after (Y/N) came along, life was on fast forwards.


Four-month came and passed ever since Elle's attack, and she was back into the team, though she didn't look ok at all. I could read it on her face every second of every day. But for some reason, everybody pretended like it wasn't happening at all.


For a team of profilers, sometimes the guys acted like they couldn't read anyone. I know we weren't supposed to profile each other, but this was common sense. I knew Gideon could see it, but he acted like everything was just fine.


Meanwhile, things with the team got a little... closer. I knew they were my friends, but I think I could start feeling a little more understood around them. Still, it was hard. (Y/N) made me feel more comfortable, though. She was letting herself loose around them too, little by little. And you could tell the team loved her. The real (Y/N).


But everything with Gideon was getting worse for her. It was odd. The closer we got, the more Gideon tried to push her away from me. We didn't let it affect our work, and let me tell you; we were all making the best we could every day in every case. But the second we caught the unsub, Jason would act like (Y/N) didn't exist.


I knew Hotch tried to talk to him out of his behavior, but we all knew that was nearly impossible. Once an idea was conceived in his brain, it would be his law and obsession. Gideon was brilliant but not flawless. I wanted to be like him, and at the very same time, I didn't want to end up like him. He wasn't a bad person, and I knew he was trying to help me, but he was utterly wronged in his personal ways.


Everything got weirder when Elle left. It was out of the blue, though once you think about it, every sign was there; we were all just too blind to see them. Sometimes you only focus on the killer and not on the victims, I guess. And at a certain point, we are all victims, sooner or later.


So Elle vanished, she hunted and killed an unsub on her own, lied about it, Hotch knew it, tried to help her. But it was useless. I think she was far gone before she actually left. She never came back the same Elle that left home before she was attacked.


More things happened those months, believe it or not, I managed to organize (Y/N)'s birthday at the BAU, and it was a hit. Yes, me, Spencer Walter Reid, threw a birthday party at the BAU. Garcia helped with the cake, JJ with some decorations, and I got her so many presents she had to ask Morgan for help to carry them to her car. It was a fantastic day. Even Gideon was nice to her.


She invited us all to her big celebration at a local bar that night. JJ, Morgan, Garcia, and I went. It was fun, 'cos Lu, Mikey, and Frank were there, and they were the friendliest people in the whole bar... mostly because Paul was also there and you could read it in his eyes, he hated me. Not just me, he hated all of (Y/N)'s friends. No wonder why Mikey and Frank wanted them to break up.


It didn't get better when Hotch called, and we were forced to leave and go back to the BAU for a case in the middle of the celebration.


- "Keep her safe, ok?"- Frankie said and tapped on my back as we said goodbye.


- "Always."


But that day was the first time I failed on my task. I wish I could say it was the only time it happened, but sadly, it wasn't.


We were after the unsub who had kidnapped three young women and forced them to kill each other to survive. He was hidden in his house, in a wine cellar, keeping one hostage. Morgan walked in first. (Y/N) followed him, and I was right behind her, covering her back. It was all clear until we reached the basement.


The unsub was holding a gun against the girl's forehead, and from there, everything escalated very quickly. Morgan tried to stop him, but the unsub was too violent too fast, like a bomb seconds before detonating. I distinctly remember asking (Y/N) to stay back, but of course, she didn't. Instead, she stood too close to the killer, trying to talk to him, and rescue the girl.


And though she unarmed him, he managed to hit her, trying to get her gun. She fought back, but neither Derek nor I had a clear shot. I was able to take the victim away from the killer, but (Y/N) ended up beat up. Of course, Morgan was the hero. He finally pushed the unsub away from her, and I just ran to hold her while he cuffed that asshole.




- "Are you ok?"- I was nearly hyperventilating and kept checking her quickly. No broken bone, a possible concussion, bruises all over her face...


- "I'm ok, honey, really,"- she whispered and stood up. I grabbed her waist and helped her walk out until we reached the ambulance.


- "How are you feeling?"- Hotch asked and looked at (Y/N), honestly worried.


- "I hope he is feeling worse"- I took off my jacket and put it on her back. She smiled at me, and the paramedic did a check-up.


- "Honey, really, I'm ok"- she turned to me and tried to calm me down, but I wasn't going to do so until a professional told me so.


- "Can you check her for concussion and internal organ damage? I don't mean to be rude, I don't wanna tell you how to do your job, but she got a few punches on the lower stomach, and I am concerned she could..."


- "Spencer Walter Reid, I am ok, it's just a few bruises, that's all"- I've always loved it when she calls me by my full name. I don't know why.


- "Well, that's not the point, I am taking care of you today for a change, and it's not a question."


The way she smiled at me that moment was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She held my hand and rested her head on my shoulder.


- "You always take care of me, honey... thank you."


- "I could have done better today,"- I whispered, feeling guilty for each one of her bruises.


- "No, I was stupid, you told me to stay back, and I didn't listen."


- "Are you ok?"- Gideon appeared suddenly and looked at (Y/N).


- "Yes, sir. Nothing that a few ibuprofens and a bag of ice can't fix"- she smiled at him nicely, and he... he chuckled.


You don't understand. Gideon chuckled at something (Y/N) said. That was more challenging than making Hotch laugh. I decided to take that as a good sign. Maybe they could get along after all. Maybe. I hoped so.


I guess Elle's departure did something to the team. It brought us closer. No matter what everyone else said. The fact one of us could literally vanish from the face of Earth from one day to another made us all think. Think of what we were doing and why. The fact we could all get hurt each time we were out in the field. I guess at a certain point at the BAU, you realize you could die on a case. That's it. You might never come back from an assignment. 

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