Chapter seven: "Let's fall in love"

Words count: 11,4K 


Warnings: Cursing, mentions of cases, but that's it. This is a very fluffy chapter, FINALLY!! 


Summary: Gideon left and Spencer is broken-hearted. Good news: (Y/N) has an event that will keep his mind busy. 


A/N: Hello!! kids! I'm so excited with your feedback on this story (on Wattpad and Tumblr) you have been great! here is a fluffy chapter, finally, after all the angst Spencer put us through. Let me know what you think!! have a great day, stay safe! I love you all!! 




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Spencer's point of view


It had been over six months after I quit using, and for a moment, life was great. Everything fell back in place. It had been a rough year, but somehow we were all making it through. I was actually attending narcotics anonymous meetings regularly. I had my six months recovery coin already.


I had actually given it to (Y/N) over dinner. She cried a little, and so did I. But I knew I wouldn't have gotten it if it wasn't for her. So that coin was as mine as hers.


That was until Gideon's friend Sarah was killed, and things got out of hand. He was framed for murder and had to hide until we solved the case. It was the worst situation we had had to face as a team, and it felt like things were never going to get back to normal.


And I was right. I wished I hadn't.


A few weeks later, we had a case on campus. An unsub was killing girls, and though we solved it and found out who the killer was, he and the last victim ended up dead. And Gideon blamed himself for the decision that set it all. You could see it on his face, the guilt and the stress. He was making an effort, but he was crumbling.


Everything got worse when we were back in Quantico. Section chief Erin Strauss blamed Hotchner for the death of the victim and the unsub. She suspended him for two weeks, and if you want me to be honest, that was the cause for a lot of the bad things that happened in the following months.


First: Hotchner quit the BAU when his suspension was over but canceled his resignation at the last minute and decided to stay in the team. That was just one of the two earthquakes that shook the team.


Second: Gideon resigned. It was more than just that. He vanished. He left out of the blue. He didn't even say goodbye. After years of mentoring me and being like a father and a friend, he did exactly what my dad had done to me when I was ten years old. He left me a letter. That was all I got.


I went to see him in his cabin, and there it was: A lousy letter. I couldn't understand it. And it made me feel like I didn't deserve better.


"Spencer: I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me. You must be frightened. I apologize for that. I never meant to cause you any pain. I also never envisioned writing this letter.


I've searched for a satisfactory explanation for what I'm doing. All I've come up with is... a profiler needs to have solid footing, and I don't think I do anymore. The world confuses me, the cruelty, indifference, tragedy."


I sat on my couch and re-read those words over and over again. Somehow, nothing made sense to me.


"In this line of work, I was afraid I would lose the ability to trust, but I've realized I can't really look at anyone without seeing their death. And as bad as losing faith in humanity seems, losing your faith in happy endings is much worse."


Was losing faith in happy endings the burden of our job? Gideon did. I was afraid it was going to happen to me too. My phone rang as I re-read those words over and over again.


- "Honey, did you find him?"- (Y/N) whispered, worriedly at the other side of the line. I couldn't even speak. I felt there was a knot on my throat that tied my tongue- "Spencer? Are you home?"


- "Yes"


- "I'm on my way"


(Y/N) wrapped her arms around me the second I opened the door. I couldn't speak, Gideon's departure had affected me way too much, and I was having a hard time. It was a constant flashback of what had happened with my father. And it reminded me of my loneliness. I wanted to be like Gideon ever since I met him. And now... I was disappointed and brokenhearted.


(Y/N) read the letter, made me a hot cup of tea, and sat with me in silence. I laid on the sofa with my head on her lap and felt her fingers playing carefully with my hair as I continued re-reading that letter, waiting for it to make sense.


It still doesn't, and it's been years.


"Profiling requires belief. Belief in the profile, belief in yourself. After Sarah, I no longer trust myself at home. And that was the last domino. The death of that girl. Hotch being suspended over something that was my fault.


I said at the beginning of this letter that I knew it would be you to come up here. I'm so sorry the explanation couldn't be better, Spencer. And I am so sorry that it doesn't make more sense, but I've already told you, I just don't understand any of it anymore. I'm sorry."


At a certain point, you start thinking maybe you are just not good enough. People may not want you in their lives. Because if they can leave you out of the blue, perhaps you didn't deserve to keep them close. Maybe I was easy to abandon after all. I knew I was annoying and weird. Maybe no one could ever get to love me.


- "Gideon was in a bad place after what happened to Sarah"- (Y/N) excused him and kept playing with my hair, trying to soothe me- "This has nothing to do with you, honey."


- "He didn't even say goodbye"- I whispered and clenched my first- "I deserved a goodbye."


- "He gave you the only goodbye he could, all things considered"- she muttered.


I sat down and looked at her, making my best not to be an asshole with her. I know when I'm sad or upset, I tend to be passive-aggressive.


- "Gideon left me a letter, just like my father did when he abandoned my mom and me. Don't I deserve better?"


- "Honey, you deserve the world"- she whispered and caressed my cheek with her thumb as she cupped my face.


I swear I felt how my heart skipped a beat at those words. And I knew I was blushing.


- "But we know Gideon isn't one to deal with feelings the proper way"- she added and smiled at me- "You are the only one he said goodbye to because you are the one that mattered to him. That's his way to tell you he loves you. We all express our feelings differently. You just have to read people."


I zoned out for a moment, staring at her. Her eyes looked at me with such tenderness it was hard for me to breathe. After that, I couldn't even think. All I know is that I had to make an effort not to lean in and kiss her. That's how much she affected me.


- "You know, it has been said that time heals all wounds. But I disagree."


I managed to whisper those words and looked down at my hands. I kept playing with one of the pillows on the couch, 'cos I couldn't even stare at her in the eyes at that minute. And did my best to keep on talking.


- "The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone. And things like this, they uncover those wounds."


(Y/N) held my hand in silence. I don't know if anyone could say anything at that minute that might make me feel better. But, of course, she did.


- "Wounds define who we are right now, but not who we will be, honey."


She just gazed into my eyes and smiled, making me feel she could even see my soul.


- "Once you know what hurt you growing up, and you find out how it shaped you, you can either overcome it or let it rule your life"- she added and sighed.


- "Some pain never leaves you, and stays there, hunting you"- I murmured and looked down, holding her hands on her lap.


- "Pain won't go away, Batsy. never"- I chuckled at the nickname- "Pain is our burden, but we have to get our skin thicker and learn from it. Don't let your father's letter define you. You are better than how he made you feel. And the fact your shitty dad abandoned you without an explanation doesn't mean Gideon did the same. He just did it in a way you didn't like. But his love and goodbye are in that letter. They are in each one of those words. I told you, you have to read people right. Find how they are telling you they love you."


There was so much I wanted to tell her. But I couldn't. She was right. I just had to accept it.


- "Thank you for being here"- that was all I could say, and she smiled.


- "I will always be here, Batsy"- and she giggled, sweetly.


- "Why Batsy?"


- "You are blind as a bat"- I chuckled and watched her smiling for a second.


- "Actually, contrary to myth, bats aren't blind"- I said because I needed to put my mind on something else that minute. Her presence was so overwhelming to me, I didn't trust my own reactions. I swear.


- "In fact, research shows that depending on the circumstances, bats sometimes prefer using eyesight to sound when hunting. And many fruit bats don't echolocate at all. These species have particularly sharp vision, and some can even see ultraviolet light."


- "Really?"- I nodded and smiled at her bright eyes. (Y/N) always listened.


- "I've been living a lie"- she joked and giggled- "Bats are one of my favorite animals. Did you know that?"


But that I already knew. She had a few bat-themed things at her house, like mugs and slippers. She also had a silver bat necklace she wore outside work.


- "I did know that"- I answered and smiled. She was so beautiful that day. Neither of us said a word for a moment until she sighed and clapped her hands, standing up.


- "Let me get you something to eat. I'm sure you haven't even had dinner yet."


There was never much food in my house, but somehow, (Y/N) always managed to cook something from it. That night she made tuna avocado wraps. I don't know how. I think if I had been the one in charge of cooking, we would have eaten toasts with jam.


We sat at the dining room table in silence, just eating. Enjoying each other's company, I guess. That's what I've always loved about (Y/N). We didn't have to talk to be comfortable. We just had to be together.


- "I need to ask you something"- she whispered suddenly and didn't look at me, she kept playing with her pasta in her dish.


- "You can totally say no if you don't want to, but..."


- "What is it?"- I left my fork aside and stared at her. She was somehow nervous. She was never nervous around me.


- "Ok"- she took a deep breath and looked at me- "My cousin Lisa is getting married this weekend, and I wanted to know if you want to go with me."


My whole universe froze.


- "You don't have to if you don't want to. It's just a stupid wedding. I don't even want to go, but my mom is forcing me, and..."- (Y/N) was flustered and kept staring at her hands as she spoke. I knew I was blushing and nervous, but myself from chuckling.


- "Why is she forcing you to go?"


- "Because, apparently, I never do anything with her anymore"


- "Do you?"- she thought about it for a second and then shook her head.


- "I'm never home... and I guess I'm what you can call a daddy's girl. We have much more in common, I guess. He taught me how to shoot when I was ten."


I chuckled at the idea of a little ten years old (Y/N) holding a gun. It was both weird and right at the same time. It explained why she was so good at it.


- "Which color is your dress?"- I whispered, and my friend raised an eyebrow, puzzled- "I wanna make sure my tie matches your dress."


She smiled, and her eyes seemed to sparkle. I know, I'm corny. A hopeless romantic, like my mom would say. But I couldn't stop it. I still can't.




(Y/N)'s point of view


I remember that week distinctly. It was the first time in almost six months I was afraid Spencer could start using Dilaudid again.


Gideon left the team, and Reid found his goodbye letter when he went looking for him in his cabin. It was addressed to him, 'cos Jason knew he would show up looking for him. Spencer was left a mess after that. It was all too much like what his father had done to him, and if you ask me, it was unfair. Spencer didn't deserve that. He deserved a proper goodbye, an explanation. Spencer deserved to know he hadn't done anything wrong and that Gideon wasn't leaving because he didn't love him.




- "Gideon left everything, except the photographs"- Penelope announced, walking from Jason's ex-office holding a ficus and a box filled with files.


- "He always said those were like his family"- Spencer explained and didn't take his eyes from Gideon's letter. He had been playing with those pages between his fingers ever since he got to work that morning.


Morgan sat by his side, on his desk, and Prentiss stood pretty close to him too. I knew what they were doing; they were trying to check on him. I looked at him from my desk, which was exactly in front of his, sipping my coffee.


Reid was still affected, you could tell. It had all happened just the night before, and it was clear he needed more time to process the whole situation. I had done my best to cheer him up over dinner, but I knew he needed to work on a case to take his mind from everything.


- "Hey, Batsy"- I threw him a small stress ball I kept around my desk- "Rehearsal dinner is Friday at six. Do you think we could skip it?"- and he blushed, biting his lips.


- "Rehearsal dinner?"- Derek turned to us and raised an eyebrow. Morgan is one nosey friend; you better be sure of that. And I loved to play with him.


- "What are you two kids up to?"


- "We have a social event this weekend"- I answered lightly and looked at the pile of files on my desk- "We have to pick up your tuxedo, by the way."


Yes. I was lying. Or at least exaggerating the situation a little bit. But the big grin on Spencer's face made it worth it.


- "Noted, pumpkin"- he answered and nodded. Derek looked at him with wide-opened eyes. Though our friends had heard us calling each other silly names for months now, Morgan couldn't pass over it. Each time Spencer called me pumpkin, cupcake, bunny, or chipmunk, Derek flipped.


- "Ok, kids, what's your secret plan?"- he insisted, and Prentiss chuckled, tapping on his back.


- "Let the kids have their little mystery."


- "You know, you don't really have to call us kids"- Spencer said and stood up, holding his empty cup and grabbing mine from my desk- "Refill, ma chère?"


- "Thank you, honey"- I know I blushed at those words. It was the first time he called me that.


- "Guys, we've got a case"- JJ announced from the other side of the bullpen and then walked to Hotch's office to tell him it was time to catch another psychopath.




That was a sad week, really. But, it wasn't just the case. It was beyond the crazy unsub, who was killing people in Denver and who ended up killing himself as soon as we got him.


No.


The team was broken, and we were all trying to make it work with the pieces left.


It wasn't just Gideon leaving without any decent reason, though, that hit us hard. It hit Spencer harder, of course, and I could notice how the team was walking on eggshells around him. But it wasn't just that. I looked at Hotch and saw how his whole body language was changing. It wasn't only the stress of carrying the team through the entire case without Gideon. No. There was something else there.


When we were on our way back home, I heard him talking with Derek. We were all asleep, or so they thought. Prentiss and JJ were sitting together and had fallen asleep as soon as the plane took off. Spencer and I were on the big couch at the back of the jet. He was laid on it, his head resting on my lap as my fingers played with his hair. He was snoring softly, and that sound somehow relaxed me. So I closed my eyes, enjoying a sweet moment of peace.


- "I can't sleep"- Morgan whispered, and Hotch offered to turn off the lights. Their voices were muffled and barely perceptible, even when they were sitting just across from us.


- "What's the matter?"- Hotch asked Derek, after a short silence.


- "What's the matter with you, Hotch?"


I swear, Morgan just took the words from my mind, and I had to make a considerable effort not to open my eyes and see what was going on.


- "You are sitting there doing work when you'd normally take a break. So please don't tell me it's about Gideon leaving."


- "You know, we made a deal a long time ago not to profile each other"- Aaron was annoyed, but most of all, he was embarrassed. I bet he tried to put an eye on all of us to make sure we weren't listening.


- "Am I wrong?"- but Hotch didn't answer- "You know, Hotch? Today was a huge victory for all of us. I mean, I never thought I'd say this, but we are doing just fine without Gideon."


There was a long silence in the plane. An eternal pause in that conversation. I could only imagine what was going on between them.


- "Hotch. What's keeping you up tonight?"


- "Haley's left."


Aaron confessed, and the soft tone of his voice made him sound so vulnerable. I just wanted to walk over and hug him. Morgan didn't know what to say, and I bet he was holding his breath in shock.


- "And I don't know if she is coming back."


Spencer mumbled something on my lap and rolled his head. I accommodated my body so that he would be comfortable and caressed his head softly with my fingers as I played with his curls.


I didn't get if Morgan or Hotch said another word, but that didn't matter at that moment. I already knew what was going on with my unit chief, and it was worse than I imagined. Having his family away was going to kill him. I knew it. Haley and Jack were his whole life.


And if Hotch couldn't manage to have a normal, everyday life outside of the BAU, I don't think any of us could.


That was scary. I always thought Aaron could do it. He was the example of keeping your shit together. And if he couldn't, then we really didn't have much hope.


I decided to focus on the warm feeling of Spencer sleeping on my lap instead. That somehow helped me feel at peace and calm.


There was something about him that always managed to keep me relaxed. Grounded. Focused. And peaceful.


I hoped that feeling continued on my cousin's wedding 'cos I needed to stay cool, calm, and focus on surviving a whole wedding with my family.




Spencer's point of view


I fixed my tie for the hundredth time as I stood in front of my bathroom mirror and groaned, frustrated. No matter how many times I tried, I couldn't get it right. And it was driving me insane. It wasn't that I was just nervous, 'cos I was terrified of the whole idea of ruining the evening for (Y/N). But also the fact I could embarrass myself in front of her entire family...


My hands were shaking.


We were going to a wedding, which meant we were going to be forced to dance. And I suck at that. It's one of those things I can't teach myself. So I asked García for help, but that didn't really go so well.


- "Oh! Oh! Oh! my precious genius!!!"- she jumped from the chair at her desk and nearly tackled me as she hugged me.


- "I just... if I have to dance, I don't wanna embarr..."- but Garcia cut me off.


- "Dancing is so easy! You just need to relax and stop thinking so hard."


- "Easier said than done"- I whispered as Penelope stood in front of me and put one of my hands on her waist as she held the other one, smiling at me.


- "Come on, genius, it's not nuclear engineering."


And as she played a song and helped me find and follow the rhythm, trying my best not to look like a dork (though I knew I was failing), Garcia started asking questions. A lot of questions.


- "So, who's getting married?"


- "Lisa, (Y/N)'s cousin"- she nodded and continued her interrogation.


- "Have you met her?"


- "No"


- "And her parents?"


- "Just her dad a while ago"- it had happened three months after (Y/N) joined the BAU, but I figured I shouldn't give Garcia all the details.


- "How is he?"


- "He was very nice. We didn't talk much, but he was..."


- "Wait, what about her boyfriend?"


I opened my eyes so wide, they nearly fell from my face, like a cartoon. Was (Y/N) dating someone and hadn't told me about it? I looked at Garcia for a few seconds, confused, but continued dancing with her.


- "Which boyfriend?"


- "That guy she was dating when she got here."


- "Paul?"


- "Yeah! Why isn't she taking him to the wedding?"- I sighed, relieved, and smiled, but Penelope kept waiting for an explanation.


- "They broke up six months ago- I answered and looked at her confused- "Didn't you know?"


- "No! (Y/N) never talked about him!!"- Garcia opened her mouth and stayed still without saying a word for a few seconds. I simply shrugged and moved a step back from her.


- "Of course, she doesn't talk about him. They broke up."


- "When? Why?!"


I remembered clearly the day he had stopped unannounced to talk to her when I was in my first withdrawal days. My heart raced inside my chest to remember the sensation of (Y/N)'s arms around me after he left as she sobbed against my chest.


- "I... well... I don't want to tell you if she hadn't told you herself"- I whispered and gave Penelope one awkward smile.


- "But, my little munchkin..."- Garcia frowned- "Was she brokenhearted? did that stupid... whatever he was 'cos she never really talked about him much, break her heart?"


- "No. Actually, she broke up with him."


- "Do you know why?"- I just shook my head and looked away- "You know, I'm not a profiler, babyface, but I can see you know what happened there."


- "I really don't feel comfortable talking about it. If she hadn't told anyone, then it's really not my story to tell."


Garcia wanted to argue with that, but JJ walked in and told us Hotch needed us in his office. I felt saved by the bell.


The knock on my front door took me back to reality. I left my necktie aside and ran to answer.


- "Wow"- that was all I managed to say when I saw (Y/N) standing at the other side of the door. She smiled and spun around before walking in.


- "Do you like it?"


- "You look... you are... beautiful, you look beautiful."


I stuttered and flustered, staring at her. (Y/N) was breathtaking. She was wearing a simple black velvet dress with some purple details that matched the tie I had gotten for the occasion.


- "Thank you, honey. You will be the most handsome guy at that party for sure"- she smiled and stared at me. I know I was all shades of pink.


- "Where's your tie?"- she frowned as she walked in, and I closed the door behind her, trying to recover.


- "I was just trying to tie it."


- "Do you need help?"- I nodded and smiled. She took off her shoes, arguing there was no way on earth she would make it through the night with those high heels, and walked with me to my room.


(Y/N) had been in my house a million times before. But I don't think she had ever been in my room until that day.


- "Thank you for coming with me"- she whispered as she stood in front of me, in the middle of my room, right next to my bed. She looked real concentrated with my tie, her eyes narrowed and completely focused on it.


- "It's no problem, pumpkin. I'm glad I can help"- I answered and cleared my throat, staring at her. She never wore that much makeup on her daily basis. I really don't think I had seen her so dressed up before.


- "Keep that spirit, Batsy! You are gonna meet my family"- she chuckled and looked at me- "Done!"


- "Thank you"- I just stood there, not knowing what to do. I just stared at her, and she smiled.


- "Your hair is getting longer"- she teased me and tucked it, playfully- "I love it."


- "Really? 'cos yesterday I thought maybe I should cut it, but then we ran late after work."


- "No, it looks perfect"- her fingers played through it, making me sigh- "You look really hot, Spencer."


I nearly shook when she whispered those words. But, instead, I just looked down and blushed. Hot is not an adjective I would usually use to describe myself. Needless to say, no one had ever called me "hot" before.


- "Which is awesome 'cos I will finally be the girl with the hot date everyone is jealous of"- (Y/N) joked and walked back to the living room. I sighed (again) and followed her in silence.


- "So, did Morgan continue bugging you yesterday?"- I nodded and walked to the kitchen to get us a cup of coffee.


- "Yeah, he was on a mission to make me feel uncomfortable!"- I confessed and sighed- "He loves making me feel like a kid."


- "Well, maybe he needs a little brother"- (Y/N) stood by the kitchen's door and smiled at me- "Chocolate thunder is a giant bonbon filled with love he expresses in a weird... sometimes a little smothering way"- I laughed at that description. She nailed it.


- "Smothering... has Gracia complained?"- and (Y/N)'s laughter filled my house.


- "No, but"- (Y/N) stared at me and shook her head- "Have you ever felt he treats us like his kid siblings?"


- "Only every day of my life"- I poured her a cup of coffee and gave it to her. She kept smiling at me as she sipped it- "The fact he calls me "kid" makes it pretty obvious."


- "He calls me "kid" too! and I hate it!"- (Y/N) joked- "I think I deserve my own nickname!"


- "He calls you "pretty girl."


- "Yeah, but that's a reference to you."


- "It could also be because you are pretty"- the words just slipped my lips, and by the time I realized what I had said, she had already heard it.


- "No, I honestly think it's because of you"- (Y/N) giggled and held her mug with both hands- "And what did Morgan say?"


- "He wanted to know about Paul."


The silence between us was so thick I started considering I might have said the wrong thing.


- "Why Paul?"- (Y/N) frowned and questioned me right away.


- "Well, no one knew you and Paul broke up, so Morgan... and Garcia wanted to know why you were taking me to the wedding and not your boyfriend."


(Y/N) nodded and stayed in silence for a moment. Her eyes traveled through the whole kitchen, but I knew she wasn't looking at anything in particular.


- "Is it weird you are the only one at the BAU who knew that?"- I heard her questions and shook my head right away.


- "I know you well enough to know you are not sharing much about your personal life with the team. I am honored you share it with me"- I answered with no hesitation.


- "Well, I don't think I'm the only one with secrets at work. I mean, I love everybody on the team, but we can be a little nosy when it comes to personal things."


(Y/N) was right. Our team is like a family. A family who is constantly getting into each other's lives, just to make sure everyone was ok. It was nice and annoying at the same time. It was something that I knew made (Y/N) shut down quickly. Something quite similar happened to me.


Neither of us would come and share our issues with them. Not until Penelope would question us.




(Y/N) drove to the party, apologizing in advance of anything embarrassing her family might do or say. I can't say I blame her, not that her family is embarrassing, I actually think they are all incredible people. But I can relate to the feeling of being scared of someone in your family, my mom in my case, doing something inappropriate. I had been there too many times, actually.


The wedding took place at The Meridian House, which ended up being a very nice place. It was big enough to hide from (Y/N)'s family, as she planned.


- "Ok"- she said, stepping out of the car- "Let's do this"- I bit my lips and smiled at her.


- "I swear, it won't be as bad as you are thinking."


- "Maybe, honey. But that positive thought doesn't stop me from being completely paranoid."


I felt tempted to hold her hand. I wanted to, but I didn't do it. So I just turned my hands to fists and clenched them tight as we walked. Until we stepped inside the venue, and her hand reached my arm suddenly.


- "Sorry, I don't trust myself with these heels"- she excused herself and smiled at me. She was honestly scared and nervous. I knew I had to put her mind anywhere else.


- "Did you know heels were actually designed for men in the 16th century?"


So I rambled.


- "The extended heel was developed especially for riding to keep the rider's foot from slipping out of the stirrups. It also helped to keep the rider steady when standing up in the stirrups and shooting arrows."


- "How come I am the one in pain right now if these were made for guys?"- she narrowed her eyes, and her tongue poked out between her lips, making me chuckle.


- "Some studies suggest heels have some benefit for women. They give shape to your calf muscles and elongate the leg's look to make you appear longer and leaner. Wearing high heels may also even improve your pelvic floor muscles."


- "There's no way this amount of pain can be good for me."


- "Actually, researchers at the University of Verona studied 66 women under age 50 who wore shoes with an almost three-inch heel. They found this placed their pelvic muscles in an optimum position to contract and strengthen."


- "I think I like my pelvic floor the way it is right now"- (Y/N) smiled at me and furrowed her brows at the same time- "How do you know so much about high heels?"


- "Well, I never told you this, but I like walking in heels around the house"- I joked, and she laughed right away- "No! Back in college, I read many things I thought could be in girls' magazines, in a failed attempt to engage in conversation with them more easily."


I looked down at the floor after my confession. It was one of those things that always made me feel like a loser.


- "That's so sweet"- (Y/N) whispered- "Why did you fail?"


- "Apparently, girls in college didn't want to talk to me about their pelvic floor."


(Y/N) fit into the loudest laughter, making most people around us turn to see her. I closed my eyes and looked at her, trying not to laugh too.


- "I hope you are not so subtle when you are undercover"- a man in his late twenties said and stood by her side.


- "Phoenix!!"- (Y/N) wide opened her arms and hugged him- "I haven't seen you since Christmas!"


- "I missed you too, sist"- I held my breath for a moment and made sure my tie was straight. It was time for the truth. I was meeting her family.


- "Hi, I'm Phoenix (Y/L/N), (Y/N)'s older brother"- he said and extended his hand to me. (Y/N) tried to stop him, but I smiled and shook it.


Yes, I shook his hand. No hesitation. Me. The germaphobe.


- "Spencer Reid, nice to meet you"- Phoenix smiled and nodded, turning to his sister.


- "So I finally met Dr. Reid"- wait, what?- "My baby has told me a lot about you lately."


- "Shut up, please don't embarrass me. That's dad's job"- (Y/N) argued, blushing- "Where is he, by the way?"


- "With mom, talking with Lisa's parents."


- "I don't wanna talk with anyone"- (Y/N) whispered, and her brother nodded.


- "You are gonna have to"- Phoenix smiled at his sister and looked at her with what I could only read as adoration.


- "And where's your date?"- (Y/N) asked him and looked around.


- "She got a phone call."


- "I need a quick update so I won't fuck it up"- Phoenix chuckled and nodded at his sister.


- "Her name is Natasha, we've been dating for three months."


- "Got it"- (Y/N) winked and took another look around- "Oh shit, there comes mom"- she looked at me again and cut me the most apologetic smile of all times.


- "It's gonna be ok"- I whispered with a grin.




(Y/N)'s point of view


I don't think I had been so nervous around my parents in years. The last time that came to mind was the first time I got home drunk or high. And just like that day, I did my best to act cool. If only I hadn't bought a profiler to the wedding to remind me I wasn't fooling him.


- "My baby!!"- mom hugged me and kissed my cheek several times, lipstick smudged all over my cheek- I haven't seen you in a month! Why are you such an ungrateful daughter now?


- "I'm not ungrateful. I'm busy, mom. But I've missed you too"- I sighed and shook my head.


- "Hello, I'm Sofia, (Y/N)'s mom"- she said and reached out for Spencer's hand.


- "Spencer Reid. Nice to meet you, Mrs. (Y/L/N)."


- "Finally! I was starting to believe I was never going to meet one of (Y/N)'s friends from work."


- "Dr. Reid"- dad said and shook his hand.


- "Chief (Y/L/N), nice to see you again."


- "Your father met him before. I did?!"- mom looked betrayed.


- "We worked on a case together a long time ago"- Spencer said and smiled at my mother- "If it makes you feel better, (Y/N) talks about you all the time, so I think I've already met you."


- "Really?"- and mother looked shocked


- "Yes, especially your cooking"- I giggled and elbowed my best friend- "What? You do! She likes making these amazing dinners whenever we have weekends off"- he explained to my mother- "And she is always whining her chicken wings are not even half good as yours."


My mother giggled.


Giggled.


That's when I knew it was going to be ok, and let out a breath I never noticed I was holding.


Who knew Spencer Walter Reid could be so smooth with mothers?


Ok, that didn't sound good. I'll put it this way, I never imagined Spencer could be so socially... not awkward. He was graceful and charming. Why didn't that happen on his daily basis? Not that he wasn't sweet all the time, 'cos he was. But he was always so nervous when it came to meeting new people, and he would miss all the social cues in conversation. Everybody used to make fun of him because of it, and I hated it, 'cos I knew it was frustrating for him.


And now there he was, charming my mother.


- "(Y/N), this is Natasha"- Phoenix said when his date stood by his side. I shook her hand and smiled immediately.


- "It's great to finally meet you. My brother has been talking about you nonstop for the last two months"- I lied and noticed how she blushed and held his arm immediately.


- "Nice to meet you, (Y/N). Your brother is really proud of you. He is always bragging about his little sister in the FBI"- and now I know I blushed. Phoenix has never been so open about his thoughts regarding my job.


- "But Phoenix never mentioned your boyfriend"- and that was when Natasha fucked it up.


- "Actually, this is Doctor Spencer Reid, my best friend, and colleague."


Spencer waved and smiled. Great, that was the boundary line I was looking for. He could shake hands with my family, but not with my brother's date. I wasn't surprised, and if you want me to be honest, I was rather pleased to know that. I don't know why.


- "Doctor?"- Natasha asked


- "I hold doctorates in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering, as well as BAS in Psychology and Sociology"- my friend explained and smiled apologetically.


I heard my mom clear her throat quietly and turned to her. Somehow, she looked proud. She already knew everything there was to know about Spencer's honorifics. And honestly, by the way, she was smiling at me, you could tell she was enjoying herself.


- "How old are you?"- Natasha asked Reid, almost in shock.


- "I turn 26 next month."


- "Oh! we have to have a huge party, honey!"- I hit his arm, and he chuckled right away- "I know you hate it, but I don't give a fuck! we need to party!"


- "(Y/N)! language!"- my mom scolded me immediately, making me feel like I was ten years old again.


- "Wait"- Natasha was still trying to understand Reid- "Are you a genius or something?"- and I knew my best friend wasn't comfortable in that conversation.


- "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified."


Spencer, in a very humble way, tried to make lights off of the whole deal. But I wasn't going to have it. He was my date that night, and I wanted to show everybody just how awesome he was. Starting with Natasha.


- "He has an IQ of 187, eidetic memory, and can read 20 thousand words per minute. Yes, he is a genius."


I held Spencer's arm tight after delivering the news to my brother's girlfriend and smiled, proud. I don't know why. Maybe because I had never been on a date with someone as awesome as Reid.


Only that I wasn't on a date with Reid. We were with my family at my cousin's wedding. That's far from being a date.


Besides, who said I wanted to be on a date with him? He was my friend. Friends don't date.


I have never been a huge fan of weddings. Back then, I found them pretty awkward events. Mainly because all the weddings I had attended so far had been family weddings. And partying with your parents isn't really as fun as it sounds...


But Lisa's wedding was okay. I guess having my best friend there made it all more tolerable. His statistics about marriage failure were the best part of the conversation at our table over dinner.


- "Most people have heard the statistic that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce."- Reid explained, catching everybody's attention- "That stat originated in the 1980s, and researchers believe the rate of divorce has since steadily dropped."


Spencer was all chatty after two glasses of champagne, sitting at the table with my mom, dad, brother, and Natasha. And yes, we were having fun.


- "Do tell, Doctor"- I joked, pointing at my parents, but he didn't get it, so he just nodded and continued rambling.


- "But today, it is thought approximately 42%, 45% of marriages in the United States end in divorce."


- "So, Lisa and... sorry, what's this guy's name again?"- Phoenix asked and turned to look at the groom and bride.


- "Brandon"- mom filled in the silence, and we all nodded.


- "Lisa and Brandon got almost 55% chances they won't split apart?"- Phoenix looked at Spencer, chuckling.


- "Technically, but those statistics do not include legal separations"- I snorted and sipped my wine- "Numbers are a little less optimistic when it comes to the second and third marriage though."


- "And that, right there, is why I am not going to get married"- Phoenix said and grinned- "Statistics are killing romance."


- "And you've always been so romantic, piggy"- I stuck out my tongue to my brother, and he just chuckled.


- "You and me both, peanut"


- "I think neither of you will ever have a normal relationship with the kind of job you all have"- and of course, mom had to say what we all knew she'd say.


I knew that conversation wasn't going to end up well. My brother and I were fully aware that would happen during the evening, and I'm sure we were both ready to avoid it at all cost.


- "Ok, let's keep this evening nice and not talk about how our jobs are going to ruin our lives"- Phoenix whined and finished his wine- "It's a party! let's..." - he looked around and saw mostly family eating and looking as boring as hell.


- "Let's get drunk!"- I finished his sentence, and he smiled wide


- "See? This is what makes us family! you complete my sentences, peanut."


- "You are not hard to read, piggy."


- "So, the whole nickname thing is a family tradition?"- Spencer asked me and raised an eyebrow. He honestly looked more comfortable around people than I had imagined. Maybe it was because we were just with my parents and brother at the table.


- "Oh, she gives nicknames to everybody"- dad said, laughing-" Which is yours?"


- "Honey Bunny"- Spencer confessed, blushing. My dad burst out laughing and tapped on Reid's back.


- "Doctor Honey Bunny!!"


- "Dad!!"- I wide opened my eyes in shock- "Can you not humiliate my friend and me?"


- "Sorry, Spencer"- dad said and shook his head- "But my daughter apparently forgot she had a stuffed bunny when she was a kid, and she used to call him Doctor Honey Bunny. It came with a stethoscope and all."


- "Oh shit!!"- surprisingly, dad was right- "I totally forgot about Doctor Honey Bunny!"- and I was mortified.


- "Now you've got a real-life version of him"- mom added and chuckled- "I like this one better, by the way. I'm guessing Spencer collects less mite"


- "Stop it!"- I commanded and turned to Spencer. He was blushing- "We can start using the other hundredth nicknames, Buttercup."


- "Oh shit! You really have problems with your friends"- Phoenix laughed- "How's Frank, by the way? still in college?"


- "Nope!"- I answered proudly- "All my friends are young professionals doing grown-up shit! Lu, Mikey, and Frank got jobs. They are college grads."


- "Do you know the kids?"- mom asked Spencer, and he nodded immediately- "They are the sweetest."


- "They love him"- I added, proudly- "They call him doc."


- "Of course, they do"- Phoenix laughed and shook his head- "So, how's Gideon? Is he still giving you a hard time?"


And just like that, Spencer changed his whole body language, sat down straight, and glued his eyes to his hands upon the table, playing with a napkin.


- "Actually, he just left the BAU"- I tried to show my brother it was a sensitive subject without making a fuzz.


- "Is he ok?"- and Phoenix didn't get it.


- "Yeah, he just needed some time off, I guess. It can get to be too much sometimes..."- I cut my brother a short smile and nodded- "So, Natasha, tell us something about you. What do you do for a living?"


- "I'm a real estate agent."


- "She helped me find my new place."


- "You bought an apartment?"- mom jumped into the conversation and started questioning Phoenix, harder than any of us would do in a case.


I turned to Spencer and cut him a short smile. He knew I was checking if he was ok, so he returned the smile immediately.


- "So... did you like dinner?"- I asked, moving a little closer to him, trying to have a conversation with him, and only him, for a moment.


- "Yes, best roasted prime rib I've ever had"- he answered and moved towards me too.


- "Great. And my family is behaving at their best tonight"- I added, whispering and looking around as Spencer chuckled.


- "They are all very friendly. I don't know why you were so nervous about this whole thing."


- "I'll say the same when we visit your mom, which, by the way, you should do"- Reid frowned in a second, and I pinched his cheek- "Your mom is awesome. She still sends me letters from time to time."


- "Really?"- Spencer asked, surprised to know his mother still talked to me after seeing each other once, over a year ago.


- "Yes. I think I made a hell of a first impression, 'cos she is always inviting me over."


- "She remembers you were very nice to her"


- "She helped us crack a case, and you forced her to fly. That woman is an angel"- Reid looked at me in silence for a few seconds. I don't think it was easy for him talking about his mother, not even with me after all that time.


- "Would you really go with me to see her?"- he murmured suddenly, and I just nodded, smiling- "Thank you."


- "Kidding? call me a nerd, but I'd never miss the chance to hang out with an XV century literature teacher."


- "Nerd!!"- Phoenix nearly shouted by my side, overhearing our conversation.


- "Asshole!"- I smacked his arm, and he laughed. Why is it that no matter how old you are, you are still acting like a kid with your older brother? at least in my case.


The night continued as nice and smooth as it had been so far. I took a minute to go to the bathroom after dessert when I noticed it was ok to leave Spencer alone with my parents, unsupervised. I texted Lu a picture with him to let her know things were going fine.


- "Hottest couple of the party"- she texted back, and I giggled.


- "Fuck yeah"- I typed and left the cellphone aside to touch up my make.


- "I am in love with Spencer,"- mom said, walking into the bathroom that second- "He is adorable and so charming. Does he have a girlfriend?"


- "No mom"- I avoided making eye contact with her as I applied more lipstick.


- "If you don't date him, I will."


- "Do you want my blessing to start a relationship with my best friend?"


- "Oh, peanut"- mom walked towards me and kissed my head- "You two aren't best friends."


- "What are you talking about?"


- "Best friends don't look at each other like you two do"


- "Mom..."- I wanted to tell her she had no idea what she was talking about, but she didn't let me speak.


- "Neither Frank nor Mikey had ever looked at you the way Spencer does. And I'm sorry, baby, but you have never been the way you are with him before."


- "What is that supposed to mean?"- I crossed my arms on my chest, annoyed.


- "You love him, (Y/N)."


- "He is my friend. My best friend. I spend most of my time with him at work. He has my back and has saved my life as many times as I have saved him on the field. You are trying to see if there's anything else going on between us, but the truth is, we have a beautiful friendship. That's it."


I don't know why I felt I had to explain to mom repeatedly she was absolutely wrong about what she thought was going on between Spencer and me. I think I needed to make sure she'd get there was nothing there but pure friendship. And love. Friendly love.


- "Ok, peanut"- mom whispered and nodded- "You are right. Relationships, under those circumstances, are different."


- "Thank you... now... what do you think of Natasha?"- I changed the subject to a more trivial one in a second 'cos I didn't want to continue talking about Reid with my mom.


- "I like her. She seems nice and honestly interested in your bother."


- "Right? it's surprising someone can actually be interested in him"- I joked, and mom shook her head.


- "Grow up, (Y/N)."


- "Never"- I touched up my mascara, and I was done- "Do you think we will see her for Christmas?"


- "Hopefully. How long did the previous girl last?"


- "Shelly? eight months..."- mom and I stared at each other.


- "Your brother longest relationship."


- "I'm rooting for Natasha"




Dad and Spencer were drinking a whisky when we returned to our table, chatting pleasantly. Phoenix and Natasha were already dancing.


- "Of course, I remember! He didn't want to kill. He just wanted to terrorize as many people as possible! The same happened with the Mad Bomber back in the '50s."


Spencer was clearly enjoying his time, talking about bombers with my father. Is it weird that it doesn't surprise me?


- "You weren't even born yet when that happened! how do you know it?"


- "I... read a lot"- Spencer blushed and shook his head.


- "What are you guys talking about?"- mom asked them and sat next to my father.


I give them credits for being the only divorced couple who ended up hating each other at a certain point but now can hang out and have fun as a family. The four of us usually get together for the holidays. Whenever we are not working, of course. Ok, it's mostly mom, my brother, and I. But dad is always invited. He never makes it 'cos work come first, but if he did, we'd be welcome.


- "We were just talking about our favorite cases"- dad answered with a guilty smile- "And Dr. Reid knows everything about my favorite serial killers."


- "Please, Chief (Y/L/N), call me Spencer"- my best friend asked dad and sipped his whisky. Champagne, wine, and whisky. Was Spencer getting drunk that night?


- "Can you two please don't talk about work tonight?"- I crossed my arms and stood next to Spencer, furrowing my eyes and watching him smile like a kid.


- "We are not talking about work. We just happen to be into the same kind of documentaries about serial killers"- my best friend argued, and I had to bite my lips not to laugh at his shitty excuse.


- "Which reminds me, you worked the Colonial Parkway murders!"- Reid turned to my dad, nearly hyperventilating.


- "That was 20 years ago, kid!"- and my father widened his eyes in shock.


- "I've studied it! at least eight people were slew between '86 and '89."


- "And you remember my name from the case file?"- dad was so surprised I knew he wasn't going to let Spencer go if I didn't do something.


- "He remembers everything"- I said and held Spencer's hand- "Come on, if there's a night of the year I don't wanna hear about mass murderers, it's tonight."


Reid stood up and followed me, excusing himself as we walked away from my parents. I guided us to the dancefloor, not even thinking about it, and held Spencer closer to start dancing. But he froze.


- "What is it, honey?"


- "I don't... I suck at... I'm not a great dancer"


- "Me neither, but that hasn't stopped me before. Come on"- I wrapped an arm around him and felt him holding my hand, carefully touching my waist.


- "If I stump you"- he whispered, excusing himself in advance.


- "I'll kill you"- I joked and stuck out my tongue to him- "Relax, Spencer. Look, you are dancing, and you are doing it great!"


Spencer chuckled as we moved along the slow song the band was playing at the moment. I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment and felt him lead the dance. I knew he wasn't much of a dancer, and maybe it was wrong to push him to do something he hated.


- "We don't have to dance if you don't want to I whispered and looked at him."


- "Am I that bad?"- he asked, mortified


- "You are doing it perfectly"- I answered immediately- "I just don't want to push you to do something you don't like."


Spencer nodded but continued moving along the rhythm of the song with me.


- "I like dancing"- he murmured after a few seconds- "I just never feel comfortable doing it 'cos I think people will notice I don't know what I'm doing."


- "You do know what you are doing, honey"- I said and smiled, squeezing his hand- "Look at you, leading the dance."




Spencer's point of view


Dancing with (Y/N) at her cousin's wedding is by far one of my favorite memories of all times. That whole night had been amazing, but dancing was, surprisingly, one of the things I enjoyed the most. Maybe Penelope's lessons had been better than I expected. Or perhaps it was all the alcohol I had drank that night and the fact I could hold (Y/N) close to me.


Whatever the reason was, I danced and laughed, like I hadn't done at many parties before. And as (Y/N) giggled while I tried to make her spin, I couldn't stop thinking about her father's words when we were alone. He still remembered the day we first met and how she had defended me from that official.


- "Is she still arguing with people like she did with Brown back at the station?"- chief (Y/L/N) asked me and sipped his whisky. I smiled, remembering clearly every single insult she had said to the official, and shook my head.


- "Actually, she hasn't argued with anyone in a while... I think that might be a bad sign"- and her father laughed.


- "She does have a problem with authority. She hasn't argued with Hotch again?"- I thought about it for a second and tried to remember any episode.


- "No, actually, they do get along"- Chief (Y/L/N) nodded and looked around, probably making sure she wasn't coming just yet.


- "I'm glad to hear that. I have always been scared she might end up having a fight with her chief unit... or with any of you at the BAU"- her father was honestly scared to ask. Or scared of the answer.


- "She is adored at the BAU"- I assured him- "She is like a kid sister to everybody. And I'm pretty sure Hotch thinks of her as a daughter"- and I wasn't lying.


- "Thank you for taking care of her, kid."


The way Chief (Y/L/N) said those words moved me. I think it's because he understood perfectly what it was like to be out in the field, catching killers, risking your life. I just nodded 'cos I didn't know what to say.


No, that's a lie. I knew what I could say. I could tell him how much I love his daughter and that nothing bad would ever happen to her if it was up to me. But I couldn't tell him that. That's why I just smiled and nodded, to then start rambling about serial killers, just to talk about anything but (Y/N). Just to try to take her from my mind for a second. I was scared any of them might find out what I really felt for her, 'cos sometimes I thought I was see-through.


- "Spencer? are you listening?"- (Y/N) waved her hand in front of my eyes and took me from my thoughts.


- "Sorry, what?"


- "I was asking if you wanna go get a drink"- I nodded right away and held her hand as she led the way to the bar.


I tried my best not to stare at her body as she walked, so I glued my eyes to her hand in mine, trying to remind myself if her father or brother noticed it, I might end up with a bullet in a leg. Besides, I couldn't look at my best friend like that. She was never going to notice me the same way. It was torture.


- "Are you having fun?"- (Y/N) asked and looked around at the party- "Sorry if my dad asked about work, or...."- I narrowed my eyes and cut her off immediately.


- "No, he didn't ask about work. We were talking about favorite cases. And I am having fun, (Y/N)."


- "I'm glad. Wanna send the team a picture?"- like I was going to say no to her smile. I just nodded and moved closer to her, smiling at the camera in her phone.


- "You guys are adorable"- a lady smiled, standing by our side, and looked at (Y/N) kindly.


- "Thank you, aunt Esther."


- "How long have you been dating? Your mom didn't tell us you had a boyfriend."


I froze and looked at (Y/N). Somehow, instead of embarrassed or upset, she looked sad. And I couldn't understand why.


- "Aunt Esther, this is Dr. Spencer Reid. He is my best friend, not my boyfriend."


- "Oh, dear, you could have fooled me! You are the cutest couple in the room, apart from the groom and bride, of course"- (Y/N) smiled and nodded as her aunt walked away.


- "We are the hottest couple in the room"- she said and cut me a big grin, adding- "The hottest couple of dorks"- I chuckled as she stuck out her tongue to me.


- "Talking about dorks, I got a Catan expansion to play with Frank, Mikey, and Lu next time we all get together."


I always thought (Y/N)'s friends were somehow my friends too, and little by little, I had gotten used to including them in some of the plans we usually had together. Like game night. Friday nights were board games night with (Y/N). It had started when I stayed in her apartment while getting clean of Dilaudid, and it turned into a tradition. Friday night, board game night. Her place or mine.


- "Frank will be so excited"- she said, giggling- "He has a problem with Catan. He can't stop once he starts. It's the same with Dungeons and Dragons, once we played for two days straight when we were nine."


I laughed, picturing them as kids, having a D&D marathon. I had seen pictures of them already, and it was easy to imagine what they might have looked like.


- "Me and my neighbor played a lot of D&D with his cousins when we were kids one summer"- the hum of her phone interrupted our conversation, and a message from Penelope caught our eye


- "You look adorable! send more pictures!"


- "We should take more pictures"- (Y/N) added, and I nodded- "We don't get all dress up as often as we should."


- "As we should?"- I frowned, and (Y/N) just laughed.


-" It took me forever to get to look like this! we need more pictures, honey."


I was about to tell her something when her cellphone rang again, with a new text. This time from JJ.


- "Spence looks incredible"- (Y/N) read at loud, and I know I turned all shades of pink. I've never been good with compliments. Not now, not ever.


We walked outside, holding our drinks, and stayed in silence for a moment. The gardens were very beautiful, and the two of us wandered around until (Y/N) finally said.


- "Remember what we talked about earlier today, about how we all try to keep some things secret at the BAU, 'cos the team is very nosy?"


- "Yeah..."


- "I didn't tell them about Paul. You didn't tell them about Dilaudid. And, of course, they have no idea we spent two weeks locked in my apartment together, which might sound dirty, but isn't."


- "Where are you going with this, chipmunk?"- she was rambling.


- "So, what do you think about JJ?"- (Y/N) simply asked and sipped her champagne.


- "What do you mean what do I think of her?"


She took a deep breath and turned around, walking away from me briefly. I just followed her silhouette with my eyes, trying to be subtle. Though I knew no one was watching, I couldn't afford to be too evident as I stared at her. I thanked the gods for my eidetic memory, 'cos if there was one thing I never wanted to forget was the way she looked tonight.


Suddenly, that song made a lot of sense.


- "I mean, what do you think about her and Will?"


- "Chief Lamontagne?"- I frowned, not getting why she was asking me about that.


- "Yes, Will Lamontagne"


- "You mean, how she has been trying to keep her relationship a secret from us?"- and (Y/N) snorted, chuckling.


- "That's exactly what I mean."


I walked to (Y/N) and stood by her side. She was staring at the sky. I just stayed next to her, not saying anything. I don't know why I always felt so comfortable being in silence with her. I think it's because I could always talk to her about anything, and I didn't have to worry about filling the silence with useless information, or facts, or anything.


(Y/N) shivered, and in a second, I took off my jacket and put it on her shoulders. She smiled and moved a step closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder, and I, in a bold move, wrapped an arm around her, keeping her close to me.


- "I think it's pretty silly she thinks she can hide her relationship from us"- my best friend whispered, and I nodded, chuckling.


- "'Cos we are profilers, and we are supposed to be some of the best minds in the world?"- I asked, quoting Ethan's words.


- "No, 'cos she should have figured out by now profilers are nosy fuckers!"- (Y/N) joked, and the two of us burst out laughing.


- "If you ask me, I think it's incredible all the trouble she is taking to keep their relationship a secret and also to have a relationship"


I analyzed and stared up at the sky. You couldn't see many stars, any star actually, from there, but there's something about looking up that has always made me feel a little calmer.


- "Yeah"- (Y/N) whispered and muted after that.


I thought, considering she had brought it up, there were more facts she wanted to talk about or analyze. But no, we just stayed there, staring at the sky for a few minutes, until our phones hummed at the same time.


- "Are you fucking kidding me?!"- (Y/N) whined and looked at the message. It was Hotch. We had a case.


- "(Y/N)!"- her mother appeared that very same second, nearly beaming in excitement- "Come catch the bouquet!"


- "We have to go"- my friend whispered and shrugged- "We've got a case"- and she even showed her mother her phone as proof, I guess.


- "You are fucking kidding me!"- I had to bite my lips not to laugh, 'cos the two of them had the exact same reaction.


- "It's Saturday! You are at a wedding!"


- "Psycho killers are always ruining the fun for us, mom."


We started walking to our table to gather our things. (Y/N) waved at her brother and hugged her cousin Lisa, whom we had barely seen the whole night.


- "Where are you kids going?"- chief (Y/L/N) asked when he realized we were getting ready to leave.


- "Hotch called. We've got a case"- I whispered and sighed- "I'm sorry we can't stay."


- "Yeah, dad, sorry you couldn't continue talking with Reid about all the cases you love, and he knows so well."


- "Then invite him over for dinner one of these days"- her father said, and for a minute, I thought he was joking, but no, he meant it.


- "You are never home for dinner, dad"- (Y/N) replied and chuckled- "But I get your point, you wanna be friends with Reid, and you want me to set you a playdate."


I don't know if it was the fact I never really had a dad around growing up, but I found the way (Y/N) was with hers shocking and intriguing at the same time. I know I couldn't profile her or any of my friends. I shouldn't profile anyone who wasn't an unsub or a suspect, but you can't turn it off. Her attitude made me think she was the youngest in the house. Probably, the one who took her parent's fights the worst way, and the only way she had to deal with anything was to make a joke out of it, just to make sure people would think things didn't affect her. It made sense. Total sense.


- "You are always welcome in my house, Spencer"- Chief (Y/L/N) shook my hand as we said our goodbyes- "Please, come along to our next family dinner."


- "Of course!"


- "He has albums and scrapbooks of his favorite crimes. He will love to show them to you"- (Y/N) joked, wrapping her arms around her father. I just stared at them for a moment until Sofia reached my side and caught my attention.


- "It was very nice to finally meet you, Spencer."


- "My pleasure, ma'am."


- "My daughter talks so much about you. I'm happy she has you by her side in the team"- Sofia hugged me and tapped my back- "Please, take care of her."


- "Always"- I replied without hesitation and smiled at her- "I'll take care of her with my life."


And it was my promise to her. One I was planning to keep.


Sofia smiled and nodded. Chief (Y/L/N) shook my hand, as well as Phoenix, and in a few minutes, we were out of there.




- "It was kind of fun"- (Y/N) whispered as she drove us to Quantico- "Thank you for being so cute with my family."


- "Don't thank me, they were very nice."


- "Whenever you need me to put on this expensive velvet dress to impress your family, I'm available, by the way"- I nearly choked at those words, and my best friend just giggled- "That didn't come out as I thought, but I meant...."


- "I got it, chipmunk."


- "By the way, can I still call you Honey Bunny?"


- "Of course!"


- "Even after what dad said?"- I chuckled and shook my head.


- "Yes, you can call me the way you like, muffin. I'd love it no matter what."


I was so honest and blunt with my confession, it even shocked me. I just wasn't even trying not to sound like a man in love. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I still don't know), (Y/N) didn't get it that way, and she just smiled at me and winked.


- "You are the sweetest, honey bunny."


I guess at that point, there was no way to escape from the truth anymore. I was in love with my best friend. And I knew she was never going to reciprocate my feelings. There was only one thing left to do: pretend I didn't feel anything for the sake of our friendship and just try to hide my feelings.


I was never going to tell (Y/N) how I felt about her. Never. Because I didn't want to lose her. Keeping her close as my best friend was the only way I knew I could be with her. 

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