----- October 18th, 2014 - Berhert -----
Four moons of various sizes shine over the forest.
The campfire crackles beside the Milano, and 'Southern Nights' by Glenn Campbell emits from the cassette player within.
The Monstrous Ravager and Kraglin lead a group of Ravagers up over a ravine. Dozens of M-Ships quietly lower behind them.
Kraglin nods toward the sounds of Glenn Campbell in the distance.
They raise their weapons.
Dozens and dozens of Ravagers come from different directions, surrounding the Milano. One Ravager cluster, lead by Half-Nut, creeps close enough to the Milano that they see the lights within the vehicle and can hear Rocket inside humming along to the song.
Half-Nut licks his lips in anticipation, closing in for the kill, when he steps on a small pedal.
It clicks...
A hundred darts fly at the group from traps set in trees. They stick into The Ravagers' bodies, knocking them instantly unconscious.
As one Ravager falls, a gunshot is discharged.
__________
Nebula is awakened by the shot.
She sees a frightened Groot, peering through a hole at the bodies falling. Beside him, a walkie-talkie with Rocket's humming coming through.
__________
Rocket is crouched on a branch in shadows above the Milano, smiling and humming to "Southern Nights" into his comm.
He spots a larger group of Ravagers approaching The Milano from the other side.
Rocket leaps towards them, from one tree branch to another
The group enters a clearing close to the ship. They hear a branch snap and sharply look up, seeing Rocket.
"There!!"
The Ravagers blast at Rocket, following him.
He hops from tree to tree as bullets whizz past him, leading them right where he wants them. He stops in a tree at the end of the run.
He holds a device with two buttons.
He presses one of them.
"Feels so good"
A concussive bomb at the feet of the Ravagers bursts, sending half of them flying up into the air.
"Feels so good it's frightening
Wish I could"
As the confused group on the ground watches, Rocket presses the second button and a second bomb bursts. They fly up into the air as well.
"Stop this world from fighting
La-da-da-da-da, da-la-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da"
Rocket snickers, as he continues pushes the buttons and the two groups of Ravagers fly up and down until the bombs are depleted of energy.
"Mystery"
One Ravager looks up from the ground, to see the little animal hopping away in the tree limbs overhead.
"Like this and many others
In the trees"
An even larger group of Ravagers walk beneath the branches, moonlight flickering on their faces.
"Blow in the night
In the southern skies"
Rocket's silhouette on a gnarled branch can be seen above. He's clutching an armful of small discs. He breathes shallowly, waits.
As soon as the last Ravager is passing beneath him, he leaps onto his back. Rocket jumps forward from one man to the next, slapping a sticky-disc to each of their heads.
"Southern nights"
And then he hops from the Ravager at the front of the line back up into the trees.
The men are confused.
"They feel so good it's frightening
Wish I could"
They bring their fingers to the sticky-discs on their bodies.
Rocket smiles in the tree as he flicks a trigger.
"Stop this world from fighting
Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, la-da-da, da-da-da-da"
The sticky-discs send electricity coursing through all of the men's bodies. They convulse for a moment, then collapse.
Rocket jumps to the ground in a crouch.
He sees One Ravager approaching in front of him, and then another approaching from behind. They train their weapons on him.
"Ain't so tough now without all your toys, are you?," One of them says.
Rocket leaps up onto the front Ravager's face. He punches him in the Thorax so hard he can't breathe.
The other Ravager shoots at him, but Rocket backflips over the shot so the Ravager is struck instead.
Rocket lands on the back of the shooter's neck and rapid-fire punches him in the head, until the man crumples to the ground, unconscious.
As Rocket lands, he hears whistling and he looks up to see..
Yondu's arrow flying straight at him.
Another high-pitched whistle and the arrow stop abruptly, floating with the tip almost grazing Rocket's forehead.
"Crap," Rocket mutters.
Yondu waltzes out of the trees with Tullk, Kraglin, the Monstrous Ravager, and many more.
Rocket reluctantly raises his hands in surrender.
"Hey there, rat," Yondu greets.
Rocket retorts, "How's it going, you blue idiot?"
"Eh, not so bad. We got a pretty good gig. A golden gal with quite a high opinion of herself offered us a large sum to deliver you and your pals to her, cuz she wants to kill y'all."
__________
Nebula looks out the window to see even more Ravagers surrounding Rocket.
She looks at baby Groot, "Your friend. There's too many of them. They're going to kill him."
Groot looks as if he's about to cry.
"He needs my help. If you care about him, you need to get me out of these bonds."
Groot is unsure.
__________
"Pretty easy to find you, since we put a tracer on your ship back during the War over Xandar."
The Ravagers have entirely encircled Rocket. There's no chance of escape. Though upset, he mostly holds it in.
"...Give me your word you won't hurt Groot, and.. I'll tell you where the batteries are," Rocket says.
Yondu chuckles, "Lucky for you my word don't mean squat.. Otherwise I'd actually hand you over."
The Monstrous Ravager shouts out, "Otherwise you'd what?!"
Yondu ignores him, "We'll take them batteries. They're worth, What, a quarter mil on the open market?"
"That priestess offered us a million! A quarter is only one third of that!," The Monstrous Ravager shouts like an idiot.
"A quarter ain't a third."
Another Ravager speaks up, "A quarter is 25! We can't even buy a pair of boots with 25 units."
Rocket glances around at all of them like the idiots they are.
"Enough!," Yondu shouts, "The point is, we ain't stupid enough to help kill the Guardians of the Galaxy. We'd have the whole dang Nova Corps on us."
"That ain't right!," Yondu looks over to see that Kraglin was speaking, "I just gotta say it this one time, Cap'n."
No... not you too Kraglin...
He continues, "No matter how many times Quill betrays you, you protect him, like none of the rest of us much matter."
The Monstrous Ravager says, "Damn straight, lad. He's gone soft. Suppose it's time for a change in leadership!"
The Monstrous Ravager points his weapon at Yondu.
Others follow his lead.
A handful of others, raise their weapons in their Captain's defense, so that the whole circle are aiming at one another.
Kraglin is confused at the outcome of events despite his words..
Rocket is in the center of the potential crossfire.
"Whoa! Whoa! There's got to be some sort of peaceful resolution here! Or even a violent resolution, where I'm standing over there," Rocket exclaims.
Yondu glares at the Monstrous Ravager.
His fin lights up dully and he starts to whistle when...
A gunshot rings out.
Yondu's fin is blown off the top of his head.
The arrow clatters to the ground.
Rocket watches as Yondu, confused, stands there dazed for a moment, and then collapses. Revealing Nebula behind him, clutching a smoking pistol.
Rocket looks at her, dead-eyed, and lets out a groan of disbelief.
She shoots him with a shot of electricity, knocking him unconscious.
The Ravagers gape at Nebula.
"Well Hello, Boys," she says.
She takes a bite from a piece of Yaro root she stole from The Milano.
As she chews, she becomes disgusted.
She spits it out, "..It's not ripe."
__________
----- Ego's Planet -----
Ego's ship lands in a spaceport.
It organically joins the spot where it lands, strands of light actually linking up with the landing pad itself.
From the front of the craft, a floating tram emerges, with Ego, Mantis, Peter, Gamora, Y/N, and Drax.
As the tram glides toward its destination, most of the Guardians are overwhelmed by the transcendentally splendid surroundings. The plant life is colorful and alien. Tall, twisting obelisks seem to have no function other than beauty itself.
"Welcome, everyone, to my world," Ego says.
"Wow," Peter replies, "You have your own planet?"
"Come one," Ego says, shrugging it off, "No larger than your Earth's Moon."
Drax nods, "Humility. I like it. I, too, am extraordinarily humble."
Even Gamora smiles at the wonder of it all.
Multicolored mercurial clumps float by.
Drax pokes one, and it bursts into a dozen vibrant hues.
Y/N is the only one who looks unimpressed with all the décor and the surface they are being 'allowed to see'.
Ahead of them looms an astounding palace atop a mountain.
The tram stops.
They step off it and toward the palace, moving around a fountain with jumping fish.
Gamora eventually comes to her senses and asks, "You own a planet and can destroy two dozen spaceships without a suit. What are you, exactly?"
"I'm what they call a Celestial, sweetheart."
The Guardians stop behind him, three of them astounded. The other, Y/N, looking miles away across the planet.
"A Celestial. Like a... god?," Peter asks.
Ego turns around to them, "Small 'g', son. At least on the days I'm feeling as humble as Drax.. Kinda like Y/N. You are an Asgardian, correct?"
Y/N looks over to him and grins before lying, "Yes. Full-blooded, born and raised."
__________
Ego saunters in with Peter, Gamora, Y/N, Drax, and Mantis, through the enormous open doors, toward huge dioramas lining either side of the palace, like cosmic Stations of the Cross.
"I don't know where I came from, exactly. The first thing I remember is flickering, adrift in the cosmos, utterly and entirely alone."
Y/N glances at him as he says this.
The dioramas around the room begin to animate. In the first, a flickering brain composed light floats in space.
The flickering brain pulls cosmic dust and rocks into itself, ingesting them, growing.
"Over the years, I learned to control the molecules around me. I grew smarter and stronger."
A hard metal shell forms around the brain, with channels running through for his energy to flow like rivers. It continues developing outward from the shell, growing the planet, then its beautiful landscapes and structures.
"And continued building from there, layer by layer, the very planet you walk on now."
"Whoa," Peter mumbles.
"But I wanted more. I desired... meaning. There must be some life out therein the universe besides just me, I thought, and I set myself to task with finding it."
The brain grows a skeletal framework of light up from the self chamber and to the surface of the planet. He pulls molecules around this shape to create his "human" self.
"I created what I imagined biological life might be like, down to the most minute detail."
"Did you make a penis?," Drax asks.
Peter turns to him, "Dude!"
Gamora asks, "What is wrong with you?"
Y/N looks at them, "..No..No.. Let him ask.. If he's a planet, how could he make a baby with Peter's mom?"
"See! Y/N gets it! This planet would've had to have created a penis!," Drax exclaims patting Y/N on the back.
"I don't need to hear about how my parents,... you know," Peter says.
Drax looks at him, confused, "Why? My father would tell me the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice."
"That's disgusting."
"It was beautiful," Drax defends, "You earthers have hang-ups."
Ego finally answers, "Yes, Drax, Y/N, I got a penis."
"Heh, We made a Celestial say penis," Y/N chuckles.
"It's not half bad," Ego the Chad admits, "I've also got pain receptors, a digestive system, and all the accompanying junk. I wanted to experience what it truly meant to be human as I set out amongst the stars."
In another diorama, Ego explores various uninhabited and barren planets.
"I visited thousands of planets over thousands of years, one barren husk after the next until I found what I sought..."
Diorama Ego stares down at a young alien child.
"Life. I was not alone in this universe after all."
Ego reminisces.
Wistful? Sad? It's hard to tell.
Eventually, Peter asks him, "...When did you meet my mother?"
Ego looks back at him, "..Not long after."
Ego turns toward the last set of dioramas. They show Meredith and Ego embracing and Ego with his hand on Meredith's pregnant belly.
"It was with Meredith that I experienced love for the first time. I called her my river lily. And from that love, Peter... you."
In the final diorama, you can see inside the womb, a very young Peter Quill, a fetus, himself encased in light.
"I searched for you for so long. When I heard a man from earth held an Infinity Stone in his hand without dying, I knew you must be the son of the woman I loved."
Peter looks at him for a moment, "Uh, actually, about that, Y/N actually als--"
Y/N interrupts him, "You should've been there. Peter held onto that thing for a while. It was impressive."
Peter glances at Y/N confused.
__________
----- The Eclector -----
Ravagers laugh as they drag Tullk across the floor while he struggles to get free.
"This is mutiny! Mutiny!," he shouts.
They shove Tullk into a cylindrical room as a glass door closes on him.
He continues screaming and slamming in the glass, but you can barely hear him. Half-Nut smiles and presses a button. The outside of the compartment opens so that Tullk is sucked into space.
Tullk floats away, opening his mouth to scream, but he can't.
His face and body swells quickly.
Just behind him are countless other corpses of Ravagers loyal to Yondu, leading like breadcrumbs toward nothing at all.
Yondu watches this, helplessly.
He's in a chair, his hands tied behind him. He's a wreck, his fin destroyed, wires hanging from a gap in his head where the fin used to be.
He sees the mutineers grab another Loyal Ravager.
"You're the one what killed those men by leading 'em down the wrong path," The Monstrous Ravager shouts at Yondu.
"Because you're weak!," He adds before punching him.
"And Stupid!," he punches him again.
The Monstrous Ravager turns towards the Ravagers, who listen, rapt and vengeful. Nebula leans calmly against a wall, watching.
Kraglin watches too, though seemingly concerned.
"It's time for the Ravagers to once again rise to glory with a new Cap'n... TASERFACE!," He shouts.
The Ravagers shout in approval. Taserface throws his arms up in glory... when he hears snickering.
He stops.
He and the other Ravagers turn and see Rocket, also in a chair with his arms secured behind him, laughing... and it's a very real laugh..
"I'm sorry," Rocket says, "Your name is... it's 'Taserface'?"
"...That's right."
"Do you.. shoot Taser's out of your face?," Rocket asks.
"It's metaphorical!"
"For What?"
Taserface thinks for a moment, taken aback by the line of questioning.
"It's a name what strikes fear in anyone what hears it!"
Not even the other Ravagers seem to believe that. They just nod their heads trying to somewhat understand it.
"Okay, whatever you say."
"You shut up! You're next!"
Taserface goes back to Yondu, bringing out his blade. Rocket continues snickering quietly at his name.
"Udonta, I've been waiting to do this for a long ti--"
Again they hear snickering. Rocket is burying his mouth in his chest, trying to stop from cracking up.
Taserface turns back to him, "What?! WHAT?!"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Rocket tells him, "I just keep imagining you waking up one morning, looking in the mirror, and, in all seriousness, saying 'You know what would be a really kickass name? Taserface!'"
The Ravagers are trying not to laugh. But Rocket, on the other hand, can't stop laughing.
"What was your second choice?!Scrotum Hat?!," Rocket asks him.
The Ravagers all bust out laughing. Even Baby Groot, who was locked in a fucking bird cage, started cackling at that.
Taserface shoves him back, ready to plunge the knife in him. Rocket's smile disappears. He stares at Taserface with deadeyes.
"That's enough killing for today."
Taserface turns irritatedly towards Nebula, who leans against the wall, "Thought you were the biggest sadist in the galaxy?"
"That was when 'Daddy' was paying my bills. The Priestess wants to kill the fox herself. And he," she points to Yondu, "has bounties on his head in at least twelve Kree provinces."
Taserface glares at her. It's obvious he's considering attacking her.
"I assure you, I am not as easy a mark as an old man without his magic stick or a talking woodland beast," she tells him, "I want ten percent of the take, and a couple more things."
__________
Nebula is trying out a brand new robotic hand as Kraglin leads her through a hall.
"We got a whole box of hands if that one don't work out," Kraglin tells her.
"It is fine."
"You, uh, think them Kree is gonna execute the Cap'n?," he genuinely asks her.
"The Kree consider themselves merciful. It will be painless."
Kraglin comes to an open doorway beside a huge docking bay, and an M-ship decked out with lots of weapons.
They both stop in front of the doorway.
"Well, here it is, best ship we got. The location of Ego's planet's in the nav. We'll wire you the ten percent when we's paid. What you gonna do with your share?"
"....As a child, my father would have Gamora and me battle one another in 'training.' Every time my sister prevailed, my father would replace apiece of me with machinery, claiming he wanted me to be her 'equal'. But she won, again and again and again. Never once refraining. So after I murder my sister, I will buy a warship with every conceivable instrument of death. I will hunt my father like a dog and I will tear him apart slowly, piece by piece, until he knows some semblance of the profound and unceasing pain I know every single day!"
Kraglin stares at her, weirded-out, "Yeah... I was talking about, like, a pretty necklace. Or a nice hat. You know, something that'll make the other girls go 'ooo, that's nice.'"
Nebula looks back at him. You could say it's a death stare but it seems to confused to be one.
"...Anyways, uh, happy trails."
Kraglin just pats her on the shoulder weirdly and walks away.
____________________