NINE WELL, SHIT

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Sitting awake in the middle of the night, Fawn starts thinking. It's never a good idea when her mind gets going on something, but she can't stop thinking about the way Sylvia's face dropped when she said that the girl never asked anything of her. Up until that moment, Fawn thought that was true. She couldn't afford to lose Sylvia, she knew this, so she knew she needed to let it go. She knew she needed to let it go, but her mind continued to betray her as that image played over and over in her mind.

Across the room, her phone lit up. She half-expected it to be Sylvia because the universe hates her and can sense her indecision, but it's even worse. It's Maddy. The text read, Can you pick me up? Stranded at Nate's, nobody else is awake. Another text comes through. Please. Yup, the universe definitely hated her. Fawn knows she should just pretend to be asleep and say that she didn't see the text until morning, but a small part of her pities Maddy. She hated to pity others, but she was in her feelings at the moment apparently. So, she threw on a sweatshirt and grabbed her keys. Texting back a quick, on my way. It was a mistake, she knew this, but she couldn't leave Maddy stranded in the middle of the night. She's like 5'3," she'd be eaten alive.

Driving through the night, the streetlights shine on the empty roads, every red light making Fawn regret her decision even more. Still, it's too late to turn back now. Maybe Maddy wasn't lying about having problems with Nate, normally she just spent the night or he drove her home the way he drove her everywhere. Not that Fawn cared. It really wasn't any of her business.

She pulled up in front of Nate's house where Maddy was sitting on the curb, looking disheveled, to say the least. The girl entered the car without a word, mascara smudged underneath her eyes and her hair a wreck. It was impossible to tell whether they had been fighting or fucking, but knowing how that couple worked, there was a strong possibility of it being both.

"Thank you," Maddy finally spoke once she pulled away from the curb in the direction of Maddy's house. "None of my other friends responded."

"We aren't friends," the response was automatic from Fawn's lips, in remembrance of their conversation earlier that day. A sigh followed it, the pity she felt coming more towards the light than she would have liked. A heavy silence fell over them and she couldn't resist the urge to break it, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes and no," Maddy sighed, "It's embarrassing."

Fawn scoffed, "It's almost two in the morning, we're in a car with no one else around to hear it. You can tell me if you want to."

She really didn't know where this was coming from especially considering her earlier fight with Maddy. Maybe it was the vulnerability that came with the cover of night. Maybe she was having a change of heart. Both of those were doubtful.

"I think he's gay," Maddy whispered, sounding as if she was scared to speak the words out loud. "I thought he was just cheating on me and that would be fine. Well, it wouldn't be fine, it'd be shitty, but I thought at least he was cheating on me with a girl. I was looking through his phone while he showered because, you know, and I found... a shit ton of dick pics. I don't think any of them were his because trust me, I know that dick."

"First of all, ew," Fawn began, keeping her eyes focused on the road ahead of her, "Second of all, that... that fucking sucks. I mean, like, has he ever had... oh God, why am I asking this? Has he ever had like... performance issues?"

Maddy groaned, "Why did you ask that?"

The two of them laughed it off, some of the tension in the car alleviating, but not all of it. "I don't know! If I was having sex with a dude, I'd be having performance issues because I'm not into them! I imagine it would be the same the other way around! I don't know, maybe he's bi. That doesn't justify the cheating, like, at all, and man, what a stereotype if he is. Maybe he doesn't even know what's going on, sexuality is a hard thing to figure out, and doing it in a relationship is even worse."

"I'd rather he just fucking break up with me and figure it out on his own then," the girl exclaimed, rubbing her face. "I just feel... I don't know. Used? I've been feeling like that a lot lately with him, I never used to feel like that. I still love him, but he's been so... so weird since we got back together."

"Maybe it's time to end it. For good," Fawn suggested, but she already knew the idea was going to be shot down right away. She wouldn't pretend to understand the strange hold Nate seemed to have on Maddy, but from an outsider's perspective, it did not seem healthy in the slightest. Still, she knew there was no way Maddy would listen to her. Not yet.

Maddy was quiet for a while after she said this, her gaze sticking to the empty view outside the window, "I think I liked it better when you were being mean to me."

"What? You don't like when I actually have a point that's not guided by hatred and anger?" Fawn tried to laugh, but she knew deep down that anger being her motivator ninety percent of the time was no way to live. Still, she wouldn't know how to stop if she tried.

"I don't like you when you're honest," Maddy admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. The words hung in the air for a moment as Fawn stared out the windshield.

Thankfully, Fawn pulled up in front of Maddy's house, but before the girl could leave, she turned to her and said, "Listen, you don't have to listen to me, I'm just a girl you kinda wanna sleep with, so don't feel obligated to take my advice. I don't know what it is about Nate that makes you want to stay with him so badly, but I think it's destroying you, Maddy. I feel like you're used to people constantly wanting something from you and I know how that feels and it's fucking exhausting. I just want you to know that I don't want anything from you but for you to do what's best for you. I can't tell you what that is, but I think we both know it's not Nate."

Fawn wasn't sure what reaction she expected from this statement, but it left her lips before she could stop herself, so the words were out in the open now. Maddy removed her hand from the door handle, leaning over to cup Fawn's face. In the streetlight's beam, she saw Maddy's cheeks glistened with silent tears. The dark-haired girl leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Fawn's lips that was so gentle she wondered if it even happened at all.

She was about to say something, but before she could even find the words, Maddy left the car. Fawn watched her go, making sure she got inside, part of her still reeling from the surprise gesture of intimacy. It was... a surprise to say the least. She watched the front door close behind the girl, pulling away from the curb as it did. As she drove away, two fingers ghosted over her lips. Well, shit.