SEVEN SELFISH

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As they headed towards Fawn's car at the end of the day, she watched with a disappointed look as Maddy got into Nate's truck. She saw this coming, of course, but it still stung. Her eyes stayed on the shorter girl and for just a moment before she closed the door of the truck, her eyes met Fawn's and she hesitated. Fawn gave her a two-finger salute before opening her own car door, unlocking it for Sylvia to get in.

"I think if I ever try to kill myself again," Syliva was saying as they got situated, "I'm gonna stick my head in the oven. Gotta honor my namesake, you know?"

Fawn chuckled, "You said if instead of when! That's progress. You gonna quote Plath in your suicide note, too?"

"Oh, of course, I'm a big fan of Epitaph In Three Parts," she teased, scrolling her phone as Fawn pulled out of the parking lot. "The third cries out as all the ships go down: 'There is more than one good way to drown.'"

"So you can quote Sylvia Plath, but you can't do your fucking English homework?" she asked with a laugh, running a hand through her curly hair as she drove, one hand loosely gripping the wheel in the relaxed way Sylvia swore was going to kill them one day. "I can't stand you."

The blonde just laughed, shaking her head, "Yeah, you love me, though. Also, hey, can we, like, never fight again? I kind of hate it."

"You started it!" Fawn reminded her, a shit-eating grin on her face, "But in all seriousness, yeah, I hate fighting with you, dude. You're the only person I know who doesn't treat me either like shit or like I'm made of glass."

"You kinda are made of glass, though, you're a very sensitive person," Sylvia spoke matter-of-factly, rolling down the window as she let her arm rest on the ledge. Fawn looked over at her for a moment, admiring the way the sun glints off of her light hair and tan skin. She thinks she could be in love with Syliva. She isn't, but she could get there if she tried. She loves Sylvia, but the thought of being in love with her is weird to her. She wonders if Sylvia would ever be in love with her. Selfishly, she hopes not. "Hey, dumbass, eyes on the road."

"I was looking at the road!" Fawn argues even though it was a lie, "You coming over, or am I dropping you off at home?"

Sylvia hesitates, "Uh, you can take me home. I've got an essay due and I left my computer there."

Fawn gets a feeling in her chest like the girl is lying to her, but she can take a hint so she makes a right turn instead of a left, heading in the direction of Sylvia's house. She pulls up outside, unlocking the doors. Sylvia gives her a quick hug and gets out of the car with a quiet goodbye. Something's up with her, but Fawn will give her some space and figure it out later, she supposes. Making sure the girl gets inside first, she pulls away from the curb and in the direction of her own home. She rolls up the windows, opting to blast her favorite music instead, something Sylvia usually objects to in favor of just talking to each other. Fawn doesn't mind this, though, she likes her conversations with Sylvia. Maybe she needed some alone time.

She ends up passing the entrance to her neighborhood, turning up the music as she continues driving around town for longer than she probably should. She really can't afford to waste gas like this, but as she stares at the road, she can't quite bring herself to go home. Her phone buzzes with a text from her mom asking if she went to Sylvia's. At a stoplight, she responds with a yes saying she'll be home later that night. Maybe Fawn just needed a moment to breathe. Ever since school started it's been a bit much. The whole thing with Maddy and Nate is exhausting, really, not to mention the weird tension between her and Sylvia. She just needs a moment where she's in a bubble away from the world.

She isn't sure how long she drives, but by the time she finally turns into her neighborhood, the sun has set and it's pouring rain. As she pulls into her driveway, her phone rings. Expecting it to be Sylvia, she answers without thinking.

"Fawn?" Maddy's voice asks and Fawn nearly slams on the break to stop herself from hitting her garage door out of surprise.

"Yeah, what's up?" she responds, skepticism clear in her voice. She's not going to hide her surprise at this phone call considering the last time she spoke to Maddy, she pretty much threatened to beat the shit out of her.

"Are you free right now?"

"Not if you have a boyfriend," she shoots back with no hesitation, "Thought you hated me."

She hears Maddy scoff, "I do, but hate sex is good for the soul."

"Thought you were hanging out with your man?" she questions, pulling her legs up so she's folded into the driver's seat with her knees against the steering wheel. "I'm not... I'm not gonna do this with you Maddy. If you're back with Nate, I don't want any business with you. I know that motherfucker is not afraid to hit a girl."

"Don't talk about him like that," the girl whines, and Fawn nearly barfs in her mouth, "He can actually be really sweet."

"Perfect, so go fuck him."

"I already did," Maddy complains, "but I missed you. We don't have to do anything, I just want to... hang out."

Fawn can't help herself as she bursts out laughing at this. She wants to accept the offer because she's a horny teenager and Maddy is stupidly hot, but she has some morals. Not many, but fucking girls with boyfriends is a line she doesn't want to cross. Especially when that boyfriend is a sociopath.

"Yeah, no," the olive-skinned girl cackles, "your stupid boyfriend already wants me dead, I don't need to give him any more reasons to try and kill me. I appreciate the offer, though. Call me when you finally break up with him even though I think we both know that's not gonna happen."

"You don't need to be like that, you know, all bitchy," Maddy fires back, clearly offended by the other's statement. Fawn can't really bring herself to care. "I could totally break up with Nate if I wanted to, I just don't want to right now."

"If you wanted to be with him, Maddy, you wouldn't have called me in the first place," she pointed out, shaking her head, "Goodbye, Maddy."

She hangs up before she can hear any protest, throwing her phone on the passenger seat as she resists the urge to slam her head against the steering wheel. Now the thought of sleeping with Maddy is running through her head again -- something she had worked very hard to get rid of. After a moment of hesitation, she picks up her phone and texts Sylvia. She figures she can get rid of her horniness somehow, even if it's not with Maddy.

can i come over?

It's idiotic and a dick move, sure, but Fawn never denied that she was selfish as hell. Her phone buzzes a second later.

yeah, sure.

Fawn turns her car back on and pulls out of the driveway. Man, fuck Maddy Perez and her stupid fucking phone call. This is her fault, Fawn decides. Totally, one-hundred-percent Maddy's fault.