Tw: Domestic violence

...

"I am so much more than you told me I was."

Just as Alex finished rinsing the soap from her face, a harsh knock at her door was heard. She hurriedly grabs a towel and wipes the water off her cheeks, tossing it onto the counter bathroom countertop.

When she looks out the peephole of her apartment door, she sees James standing there. The James that she sometimes has sex with. He looks a little high, which made her feel uneasy. Also a tinge of annoyance, him just showing up unannounced. She groans and unlocks the door, opening it an inch. "Listen James, not tonight." She begins, staring into his bloodshot eyes. There's nothing behind them, they're a void. He smirks at her, it's sinister, and makes her extremely uncomfortable.

James pushed open the door unexpectedly, stepping inside and nudging her out of the way. He's quick to the close the door after himself and locking it. "James, please just leave, this isn't funny." She grumbled angrily, crossing her arms over her chest.

He grabs her shoulders and leans down, pressing his lips onto her own. He's sloppy and incredibly high, maybe a bit drunk too. The taste of marijuana smoke coats his mouth, and a hint of whiskey. She undoes her arms, pressing her hands to his chest and pushes him away. "I'm fucking serious." She was trying so hard to sound tough, but he could see through the act.

When it comes to personal relationships in her life, Alex was a scared and insecure girl. She was waiting for some breakthrough in that department. Her self esteem was dangerously low, and she was all too aware of it. When she got in her car to go to work, she was a different kind of human though, and she constantly tore herself apart because of it. Why couldn't she be stoic all the time? She tried so hard, and never was able to come through to the other side, satisfied.

"Oh, you're fucking serious, hm?" James was a grade A mother fucker. He smoked and drank a bit too much and he absolutely had no respect for Alex as a person, but loved using her for her body. He didn't know the first thing about her besides her first name. He made himself seem decent the first few times they met up, by going out on some casual dates, ultimately resulting in them tumbling into bed together. He liked that she gave it up easily to him, so he took it and ran with it. He was strategic almost, because he made her feel loved and cared for, but when he got what he wanted he started becoming messy.

Lately, he was beginning to show his true colors to her. They wouldn't even go out anymore, just have sex. Then he'd leave in the morning before she'd wake, or when she got up for work, he would pretend to still be asleep then skip out when she was gone. She was catching on, unknowing to him. The last time when she kicked him out, he was more than pissed off. This was new of her, and he worried she finally realized his true intentions.

"Yes I am." She responds. "You can't show up here whenever you want." She goes to grab his arm to try and guide him towards the doorway but he's quick, even in his intoxicated state. He grabs her wrist in one hand and brings his other to her neck, squeezing so she can breath, but enough to strike some fear into her.

"I just did. What the hell are you gonna do about it?" He slams her against the shut door, his face inching closer to hers. The pressure on her neck made it feel like anxiety swallowed her whole.

"You don't understand, I can get you into so much trouble." She rasps out. Alex never specified her position in the GCPD, mainly because at first, she knew if she told James, he wouldn't have dated her. And she actually liked him a fair bit when they first met. He had this nice, cool guy persona she couldn't help but be attracted to. He never asked about her weird or lengthy hours, mainly cause James didn't give a fuck about her. Never did, and clearly never will.

He laughs in her face. Alex reaches with her free hand and grips his wrist, digging her nails into his skin. He doesn't budge much, so she knees his crotch, getting him to back off slightly. She fumbled with the locked door behind her, scared to turn her back. James rushed her, throwing a punch across her face. Initially, her eye and cheekbone are numb from impact but then a throbbing pain spreads across.

Alex goes to hit back but he grips her again, holding her fighting body against his, whispering at her to stop and to relax, threatening to make it worse if she continues her outburst. She hated herself for not trying harder but she felt weak in the moment.

Millions of thoughts and possible escape plans run through her head, wondering if it was feasible. He was physically a big guy, this wasn't the first time he's done this to someone, she can tell that much. He knows how to hurt to get his way. An idea strikes her.

She stops all movement, not noticing until now some tears slipped down her cheeks. "Good girl." He whispers, suddenly rubbing her arms in a gentle manner. "It's easier when you go along with it."

"I know." She sighs, her hand slipping up his torso and resting in his chest.

"I'm...sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." The words were forced, she wasn't fucking stupid. But she looks up anyway and simply nods. "Now.. go to your room. I just gotta use the washroom, and when I get there, no clothes." He instructs, all mighty and power tripped. James' hand roams her chest, leading up to her neck. The skin was tender to the touch. She had a feeling marks were left, but she didn't want to worry about that right now.

"Okay." She forced a sad, strained smile. Alex watched as he staggered towards the bathroom and shut the door after herself. Alex rushed towards her bedroom and shut the door, squatting before her nightstand. She opens it and unlocks her safe, pulling out her handgun. She didn't want to use it for things unrelated to work, she never has had to. Maybe the intimidation would make him leave. She clearly wasn't thinking clearly, but needed some sort of plan to get out of this situation, immediately.

Alex tip toes towards her closed door and rests her hand on the doorknob. She waits until she hears his footsteps approaching. When she sees the shadow of his feet at the door she squeezes it harder in anticipation. "Uh, Alex?"

She rips the door open and without hesitating, points the gun to him. "Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck is that?" He shuffled backwards, seeing fear in his eyes made her feel content.

"Get the fuck out of here and never come back. I don't want to see your face ever again." She warns, taking a step forward, making James take another step back.

"You're fucking crazy, put the gun down." James stammers, his eyes bouncing between the gun and Alex's face. He places his hands up in defense, similar to a criminal. This felt all too familiar to her. She suddenly wasn't in front of James anymore, and in front of a petty criminal. Or so it felt like.

"Get the fuck out of here." She unclicks the safety, making him shudder. "I'm not fucking around James."

Without a word he backs up slowly, eyes trained on the gun. He fumbled with the doorknob and within seconds he ran out the door. Alex breaks for it and locks the door after he leaves, letting out a huge sigh, panic envelopes her like a cloud.

She sinks against the door, beginning to hyperventilate. The last 10 minutes felt like some weird, fucked up fever dream. Her mind was attempting to process everything all too quickly. She hates how she almost felt guilty for pointing the gun at him. But also, it felt surprisingly freeing. She hopes it was enough to scare him off for good, but you never know. Alex clicks the safety back on and holds the weapon to her chest, trying to get a hold of her breathing.

Moments later Alex is standing in front of her bathroom mirror, scanning the plum coloured bruises covering her neck and under eye. She was in a full blown panic, not realizing how hard he hit and squeezed her until now. She didn't think it was hard enough to leave marks, but maybe her adrenaline fooled her in the moment. Her concealer in her makeup bag was old and dried out, she knew from being a stupid teen that concealer made the bruises look way worse than they actually were. Fucking pointless. She really did not need this kind of attention from her of colleagues, seeing the woman who they already don't respect come into work looking like someone's personal punching bag.

Alex exits the bathroom and makes her way towards her bedroom. Her skin crawls as small flashes plague her mind. How could she be so naïve? To let someone like James in.. that much.. for that long. She collapses backwards onto her bed, trying to level her breathing. She was scared to call someone for help or comfort. Friends and family were distant to her life. She overworked herself, losing the closeness of those relationships long ago.

She shuts her eyes, wondering what her next move was. Then suddenly, her phone starts vibrating on her nightstand, as if someone was listening to her thoughts, guiding her distractions. She grabs the thing and sees Gordon's contact lighting up the screen.

She sniffles and wipes her tears covered cheeks and sits upright, sliding the green icon across the screen. "H-hi."

"Hey kid. You know I wouldn't be calling if it wasn't something important." Gordon says.

"All good, what's going on?" She sat a bit straighter now. Her mind was screaming that she could not go into work right now, but obviously someone needs her, the city needs her.

"I think your uh, guy just committed his second homicide." A tinge of pain laced his words, when usually Gordon was the best at keeping composure. A different panic set into Alex's stomach. "But the vic is quite the escalation..." he adds vaguely.

The sinking feeling in Alex's stomach got worse, if possible.