Chapter 54 - My Feelings

I just have to express my love for this new Wattpad update. This is one of the first times I'm actually happy with an update. I was not expecting it! Anyway I apologize for this chapter being late again. I wanted to give it a proper end the I had to spend a little extra time finishing up the chapter.


Song: Edwin Raphael - Harbours (Don't play until it says so in the st- wait a minute... this isn't necessary any more!)




Theo's POV




"Thanks for today. I-it's been so long since I've been to a zoo, so I really appreciate it." Keegan thanked. "I had a lot of fun today. I truly felt like myself for the first time in... forever. I know I can be a little clingy and not respect peoples personal space at times, so I want to apologize if I made you uncomfortable. I was just so excited." He spoke softly, like a gentle breeze. That was it... now was the time. I've held off long enough. I don't want him to be upset with me for doing something so selfish, but I can't hold off any longer.




"But thanks again. I don't know how this day cou-" I interrupted him, placing two of my fingers under his chin and lifting his head to mine. A heavy breeze washed passed us as our lips connected. His were so soft, softer than I imagined them to be. The feeling of them pressed against mine was the greatest and most satisfying feeling in the world. I felt lightning course through my body with shivers up my spine. I pulled him closer with my free hand and deepened our kiss. This wasn't my first kiss but it was so special and new that it might as well have been. The kiss lasted for a long minute.




I pulled away to see Keegan's face. His cheeks were a deep red, his eyes wide open, and his lips still parted. He took a few steps backwards and continued to stare at me in complete silence. I did the same, not knowing what to say.




Keegan stood there, looking as if he wanted to say something, but nothing would come out. My heart rate increased the more I came to realize what I'd just done. I was hoping I didn't upset him. Maybe he wasn't ready?




"Sorry... I just." I paused, trying to form words in my stirred mind.




"Is this a joke... or do you..." Keegan said, shifting his sight to the bridge below him.




"No! This wasn't... it wasn't a joke." I assured him. He looked up from the ground, directly into my eyes.




"S-so, you do... like me?" He stuttered, making it easy to tell how nervous he was.




"More than you could ever imagine." His cheeks lit up and his eyes shifted to the right, breaking our gaze.




"Why? Why did you wait so long if you knew... If you knew I liked you back?" He hesitantly questioned.




"There were a lot of reasons I guess." I shrugged. "The biggest one being that I didn't think you were ready for me to drop all of my feelings out there while you were going through so much. Especially since I was one of the causes..." I didn't want to remind him about all of that, but it was the only way to give him an honest answer.




"That's the reason I acted the way I did when Alayne told me all of the things you supposedly did. I liked you a lot, and not only as a friend... so it broke my heart when I thought all of the time we spent together was a lie." Keegan's eyes returned to mine wearing a look of surprise.




"Hanging out with you every day during the trip made me realize how much I actually liked you." I admitted as a half smile crossed my face. "I'm still sorry I didn't believe you though. I let my emotions get the better of me." Suddenly I felt a pair of small arms wrap around me.




"I forgive you." Keegan said, capturing me in a hug.






The ride back home was nothing but silence, other than the engine of the car and the tires on the road. I glanced over at Keegan a couple of times and noticed he was staring out the window with smile on his face. By the time we arrive back at my place he'd fallen asleep. Can't blame him, using all of that energy throughout most of the day. It's getting pretty late anyway. Charlie called my phone earlier, telling me they were about to eat dinner and that I should hurry home if I wanted to make it on time. Keegan and I stayed out a little longer than expected though so I'm sure they've already finished up by now.




"Yo Keeg, wake up." I whispered, ruffling his hair. His eyes snapped open much quicker than I expected.




"We're home?" He asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing his eyes.




"Yeah, I can carry you in if you want?" I chuckled.




He pouted at me. "No I can walk." With that we both got out.




Keegan's POV (earlier in the day)




Hanging out at the arcade with Theo was amazing! I had so much fun. The time I spent with Alayne didn't even compare to the time I had with Theo. Despite all that's happened I was able to let myself be free around him. Knowing the time we spent together during the school actually meant something to him made it easier. These past couple of months have been really hard on me but the Martin family were so accepting and kind taking me in. When I thought there was no place left on earth for me the Martins were that bright pillar of light that I was desperately in need of.




Most of my time at the arcade I spend goofing around. This made Theo chase me around and tickle me senseless. Just like the time we had that pillow fight. We gained quite a bit of attention, but I didn't care, I was having fun.




With the small about of tickets I managed to collect I traded them in for a charm, one that I later gave to Theo. He really seemed to like it. That made me happy. The amount of stuff he got for me was shocking though. I felt bad that all I managed to win him was a small measly charm. I guess I can blame that on him though, the competitive jerk.




 (Play the song) 





The drive to the Zoo was beautiful. The roads Theo took were lined with trees in a variety of colors. What was even more surprising is that it isn't too far away from my neighborhood. The falling leaves blew across the hood of the car. The wheels of the vehicle left trails of stirred leaves behind them, lifting them from the pavement. The beauty of it all put a smile on my face. Theo glanced over at me from time to time also wearing a pleasant smile.




I couldn't contain my excitement, I had to see the animals. I contentiously grabbed Theo's hand, dragging him around throughout the whole day, and he didn't seem to mind. No matter how many times I told myself to stop I never could.




The penguins I've waited so long to see were just as amazing as I envisioned them. The way they'd waddle back and forth, their clumsiness, their fuzzy feathers, all of it was just so charming. I couldn't pull my eyes away from them. I've always wanted to pet one but sadly today was not the day.




The rest of the animals were cool too. I named at least one in each exhibit. Let's just say there are a lot of Animals named Theodore now. Breanne the penguin was my favorite though.




Despite our day at the zoo being so eventful I wasn't ready to go home. I wanted to spend more time with Theo. I didn't know if I was bothering him or not, but I just couldn't bring myself to go home. When I told him he suggested we take a walk around the town. Thank gosh he didn't seem to be upset.




The town was enveloped by an orange hue by the setting sun. I wanted to stretch out my arms, fall back on some grass and watch the sun disappear behind the mountains. The town gave me a cozy feeling. The yellow lights of the small shops shining onto the streets, the delicious smells pouring from the near by stores and bakeries, I could live here forever.




Theo And I found a little bridge on our walk. The view from it was breathtaking. I was captured in the sky's beauty. Theo joined me and together we stood there, watching the gazing out to the vast sky. I felt that this was a good time to thank him for taking me out today, and also apologize for my clinginess. It used to be a habit of mine, one that I thought disappeared long ago.




Just as I was about to finish thanking him a pair of lips captured mine, working them in a blissful motion. It was Theo. I stumbled as he pulled me closer with his free arm, deepening the kiss. Is this what it feels like? Is this what a kiss feels like? It was so out of this world that I had to question if it was real. The way he held me, the way he towered over me, it all made me feel so safe.




I began questioning his intentions though, isn't he straight? Was this some kind of joke? Was it out of pity? Confusion erupted in my head as Theo pulled away. His eyes staring into mine, the soft look he wore quickly changed into one of fear.




"Sorry... I just." He started nervously, but failed to continue his sentence.




"Is this a joke... or do you..." I asked him, my voice also shaky.




"No! This wasn't... it wasn't a joke." He said. I lifted my head from the ground, and looked into his eyes.




"S-so, you do... like me?" I stuttered, obviously nervous.




"More than you could ever imagine." My cheeks lit up like the fourth of july. Despite practically being on fire the chills trailing through my spin were potent.




"Why? Why did you wait so long if you knew... If you knew I liked you back?" I hesitantly questioned.




"There were a lot of reasons I guess." He shrugged. "The biggest one being that I didn't think you were ready for me to drop all of my feelings out there while you were going through so much. Especially since I was one of the causes..." Pain lingered in his voice as he answered.




"That's the reason I acted the way I did when Alayne told me all of the things you supposedly did. I liked you a lot, and not only as a friend... so it broke my heart when I thought all of the time we spent together was a lie." It surprised me. This was the clearest explanation he's given me thus far.




"Hanging out with you every day during the trip made me realize how much I actually liked you." He smiled. "I'm still sorry I didn't believe you though. I let my emotions get the better of me." I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him.




"I forgive you." I told him, placing my head on his chest. After a hesitant moment he placed his arms around me and deepened our hug.






I wore myself out today, running around the whole time. It was worth it though. This was one of the best if not the best day of my life. I relaxed into the back of my seat feeling contented. The sound of the car never failed to make me sleepy. That mixed in with the fact that I was beat made me drift off to sleep in record time.




I awoke when I faintly heard what sounded like Theo's voice calling my name. I parted my eyes and realized it was indeed him.




"We're home?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.




"Yeah, I can carry you in if you want?" Theo joked.




I pouted at him. "No I can walk on my own thank you very much." We got out of the car and started towards the house, that is until I remembered all of the stuff we left in the car.




"Hey, what about all of the stuff in the car?" I asked, tilting my head towards him.




"We can leave it there until tomorrow." He answered.




I went silent as an idea came to mind. "Can you unlock your car for a second?" I asked, grinning at him.




"Okay?" He agreed in a curious tone. He sat there and watched as I ran over to the car and pulled out the little monkey he got me. I held it high in success as I jogged over to his side. He just smiled and locked the car doors. Theo wrapped his arm over my shoulder and dragged me with him as we walked down the pathway to the front door of his house.




Like always Darby was the first to greet us. "Oh you two are back! How was your day?" She eagerly greeted from the couch. Her and Thomas were snuggled up, watching a movie. They looked so cute, a big smile crept onto my face.




"Tell me ALL of the details." She emphasized the word "all". Theo just sighed and rolled his eyes.




"I'm very interested to know as well. Don't leave us in the dark." Thomas soon followed.




"Our day was..." Theo paused and turned to me, as if waiting for my answer.




"A-Amazing!" I stuttered after being put on spot. To be honest though I didn't really have to think of an answer. "I had a great time." I expressed with great joy, looking over at Theo. I could swear a million times over that he was blushing! I continued filling them in on the details of our day, leaving out the... kiss of course. That was only between Theo and I. The more I went on the more invested and focused they became. I guess Theo's deprived them for so long they became a even more desperate.




Theo just sat on the armchair beside the couch and listened to me talk. He wore a half smile the whole time, which made me realize how often I was staring at him. Thomas and Darby had a lot of questions and I answered them to the best of my abilities but Theo had to step in every now and again.




"That almost sounds like a date." Darby teased, winking. My cheeks reddened, my mind revisiting the kiss. "We should do that sometime honey." Darby said, nudging Thomas' shoulder. He chuckled. 




After our conversation Thomas and Darby chatted between each other awhile, then resumed watching their movie.




"Hey, you go on ahead I'll bring you a plate of dinner." Theo said, nudging his head towards his room. I nodded and did as he said. I took the handle of the door and stepped into the dark room. I always forget where that cursed light switch is. After a minute of swiping my hands over the wall I managed to hit the switch. While I waited foe Theo I replayed the kiss over and over in my head. How would everything be moving forward now that we both know we have feelings for the other person? Everything still seems just as it was before, except now whenever I think of Theo as more than a friend my heart starts racing and my palms get clammy.




Theo came in carrying two plates of food. He sat one on his bed and took the other over to his desk and started eating from it.




"I don't know if you'll like that. I can always get you something else though, so it's no big deal." He said, meaning the food he set aside for me.




"No, I'll eat anything you guys give me. I'm just thankful you guys are giving me a place to stay and food to eat." I told him. "Plus Darby's cooking is always good." I added before taking the plate from the bed. It slightly resembled meatloaf, I don't really know what to refer to it as, but like I figured, it was delicious.




"While we're on the subject... um." I started. Theo gave me a questioning look. "Since I am only a guest here I think you should probably sleep in your own bed. I've recovered a lot over this past week, so I won't have any trouble sleeping on the couch." I suggested.




"No way... I'm not letting you stay on the couch." He denied, not giving it a moments though.




"C'mon, I feel bad sleeping in YOUR bed." I pouted at him. He went silent in his chair, as if  was captured in thought.




"Alright, I've got an idea." He said, standing up from his seat and walking over to me. "I won our little bet at the zoo, so you're mind for a whole week." He smirked.




"H-hey, that's no fair, I really didn't agre-..." My sentences started out strong but my words gradually decreased in volume as I realized Theo wasn't changing face. I was terrified of what he might make me do. Lick the bathroom floor? Jump from the second floor of their house? Streak in front of the entire neighborhood? All of these crazy ideas popped into my head one after another as my mind was overrun with fear.




"I'm going to make you..." He started, leaving the intentional pause to build up tension. "Sleep here, with me." He whispered teasingly, sending shivers down my spine. Knowing how much it was effecting me his smirk grew, followed along with a breathy laugh.




"R-really?" I questioned. "You want me to stay here... with you?" I felt a blush washing over my appearance. Remembering all of the times we slept in the same bed during our school trip I couldn't help but to go red.




"Yes, really." He replied, in serious voice.




"Well... uh o-okay." I shyly agreed, not that I had a choice in the matter.




"In that case." He said just before tackling me to his bed. He landed on top of me and caged me under his large body. I felt his hand sliding towards me. I knew what was coming so I couldn't hold back my laugher. He had his hands at my side, tickling me before I knew it. I squirmed under his weight gasping for air in between giggles. Theo was silently laughing the whole time.




When he finally had his share of fun he toppled over on the other side of the bed. I was seriously out of breath. My pleas didn't come through this time. We laid there, staring at the ceiling of his room. It was actually quite therapeutic, almost like reading a book. Speaking of books, I've had an idea lingering in my head. I want to return home and scavenge for any item that might remain intact. Thinking about it now though that really wasn't much of a home, more like a prison, one that I'm free of now. Going back even for a few minute might not be such a great idea, especially if my father happens to be home.




"What's on your mind?" Theo asked, turning his head to me.




"Well... It's nothing." I said, dismissing the idea.




"No, it's definitely something." He smiled.




"Not really." I denied.




"If you want to play that way, then I command you to tell me." He chuckled. I pouted at him with a sigh.




"I was thinking of going back to my house to get a few things." I admitted. He looked at me like I was crazy, and I probably am.




"I can't let you do that, at least not alone. I'd be happy to go with you." He offered, turning the rest of his body towards me.




"Y-you don't have anything to do tomorrow?" I asked hesitantly.




"No, even if I did I would make this my top priority." My face flushed a shade of red. Gosh, he's going to have me looking like a tomato by the end of the night.




"Thanks, Theo." I said shyly. He smiled.




We took turns getting ready for bed, me going first. When Theo returned to the room he asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I was actually pretty sleepy but I didn't want to pass up on it, so I just nodded. He placed his laptop at the back of the bed and shut out the lights before crawling in next to me. I made sure to leave at least a foot between us, not wanting to bother him or make him uncomfortable in any way but to my surprise he wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me closer.




Lying there next to him was so comfortable. I rested my head against his chest and placed a hand on his stomach, it was much firmer than I expected. He had one hand behind his head and the other set on my back. I don't even know how it happened. Knowing that we were both comfortable with it left no restraints I guess. We stayed like that through the whole the movie. I'm surprised I was even able to stay awake that long. The nap I had earlier was probably the reason. After the movie ended Theo shut the laptop with his foot and rested his head against mine.




I fell asleep feeling more comfortable than being wrapped up in a hundred warm blankets straight from the dryer.








---I apologize for any mistakes or spelling errors! This was a pretty large chapter to edit, so I'm sure there are mistakes that have made it passed my eye.

Comment