ik i should be doing other shit but not now

so idk if i really like guys or not..?

masculinity is hot, don't get me wrong... but like... it's hotter on girls?

idk i just see guys that are deemed cute or hot, and i know that they would have been deemed cute or hot by past me, but idk if i see it anymore?

like now when i think of guys... it's like i want to adopt them and take care of them? or be just friends? idk

cuz recently i found out a certain guy had a crush on me, and it felt more like i was a daycare worker and he was a child. you know how some kids develop "crushes" on their babysitters? like that. it's cute from the kid's end, but from the babysitter's point of view, it just feels... wrong... and really weird. it's kinda flattering, but it's mostly weird

that's the only metaphor i have to describe it

and i know i had crushes on guys in the past. i know i felt something for them.

but i still like females... a lot...

it's like i see guys that all straight girls deem attractive, and i'm over here thinking "i mean, he seems like he'd be a chill friend" and i find myself having no response when i ask myself if i'd ever have a romantic relationship with said guy

but when it comes to females and enby ppl, it seems to be a "yes" before i even ask myself the question

for now i'm gonna keep saying i'm bi tho because it's my only personality trait