7.

To execute the plan of sneaking into the Shinsengumi headquarters you had to wait two week. You couldn't just randomly walk in there. Even if you had recognizable blue haori you were sure you wouldn't be so easily let in. You blessed the gods and yourself for never giving Okita his haori back. But beside the haori you didn't have any men's clothing. And you couldn't go to the shop you usually did your shopping.


You closed your bakery and decided to go to the kimono shop on the other side of the city. The shopkeeper looked at you weirdly when you started to fit on male hakama.


"It's for my younger brother," you send him wry smile. "It's for his birthday and he's more or less the same size as me so I figured I'd buy it myself."


"Oh..." the man blinked and slowly nodded. You did the same with new kimono and payed for a new clothes. Excited with new purchase you walked back home. On your way you dropped by Minamoto-san's house.


The old lady with a slight surprise she let you in. When you were settled and drinking tea you told her reason for your sudden visit.


"Minamoto-san, you said your husband had large collection of katanas?"


"Yes, why?"


"Uhm... Would you mind if I borrowed one or two for a few days?" you asked. She looked at you confused.


She led you to her late husband's collection. She was widowed for a few years, but decided to not sell treasured swords. You felt little guilty for asking her for this. However you felt that your disguise wouldn't work if you hadn't had convincing weapon. You recalled Okita always wearing two katanas. He used to talk about them passionately and even let you wield it sometimes. And you knew some basics of using katana.


Minamoto-san gave you two katanas and you thanked her with deep bow.


"His name is Goshinmaru and the longer one is called Sekisetsu. I don't know what are you up to, ______-chan, but please be careful. These are made for killing," she warned you with serious voice.


"I will be. Thank you again."


For next few days you observed patrol routine within the Shinsengumi. You decided it was for the best if you joined one of the patrols on their way back to the headquarters. By now you knew how they operated through the town and one morning you decided to finally execute your plan.


You dressed yourself in new hakama and fastened two swords. To look more manly you wrapped your bust with bandage and tightly squeezed it. You pinned your hair in high ponytail, similar to Todou's. Then, to just in case, tied a headband. With a look in the mirror you decided you looked acceptable. Well, and totally different than yourself.


Lastly you put on the blue haori. Unlike the new clothing it was too big. No wonder, it was Okita's. Sleeves were obviously too long. With a sigh you decided to roll them up and tie with a stash. Acceptable enough.


The katanas weighted on your hip. It wasn't like you weren't accustomed to carrying heavy things, but this weight was something different. It was weird feeling that you could use the weapon anytime. You liked risks, you wondered if you would be ever brave enough to use real weapon.


Deciding that it was a time you walked out of you home. You moved through alleys, as far as you could from townspeople eyes. Finally you saw your chosen patrol. None of captains that knew you were present and you mentally high-fived yourself.


Squeezing through the crowd you reached the end of the group. You tried to walk confident and like a man. Now you thanked extra weight of the katanas as is made easier to you to walk differently. You practiced a little at home, but still felt you were lacking. And you couldn't exactly ask anyone to teach you.


With the group you reached the Shinsengumi compound. You smiled when nobody questioned your presence. Your disguise worked!


"Haven't seen you before, boya?" you froze hearing familiar voice. You stiffly turned to face man you knew as Wakahisa. Of all people you could bump into, it had to be person that could recognize you.


"I'm new here, sir," you lowered your voice.


"Which division?" he scratched his chin.


"First," you replied using first thought that entered your mind. Then you recalled Wakahisa as well as Okita were in First Division. Just great, you thought. You smiled at him.


"You must be one of this newcomers!"


"Huh? Ahaha, yes! I am," you laughed nervously.


"What's with that girlish gesture?" he frowned. You cursed yourself and your nervous habit of hiding behind kimono sleeve. But now you didn't have kimono, and you were supposed to act like a man. You stiffed once again. With a best flirtatious look you could muster you leaned to Wakahisa.


"Fufu~," you laughed in lowest octave you could. " I grew up with six sisters. I'm interested in men though."


"Wha-..." he quickly moved away and stopped examining you. "I-I see... Well! Get back to work."


"I'm kinda lost. You know, I don't know my way around compound to well, could you show me directions to barracks?" you asked. You were quite sure Okita didn't live in barracks, taking into account his position as captain and... his condition. But that was a start. Wakahisa nodded stiffly and led the way.


You walked through the compound. You reminded yourself to be focused at finding Okita, but you couldn't help but to be slightly curious about living here. You knew nothing about their routine or what they did in their free time. The irony of the situation was, that you knew quite a lot about higher-ups way of life. These thoughts reminded you about Okita. Like he used to speak about funny bickering between captains or things normal solider didn't know. You clenched your fists. Though your heart ached for him and you wanted just to run and search the buildings for him, you knew you couldn't, you had to be patient.


Wakahisa showed you to the barracks and assigned you to clean dojo. With a sigh you took the floor rugs and made your way to the room. You mentally cursed him. Angrily sweeping the floor out from men's sweat you didn't notice a person coming into the dojo.


"Ah, sorry, didn't know somebody would be there. Haha!"


"Huh?" you jumped looking at the newcomer. He had spiky black hair, kept in up-do you usually saw Okita in. You used to fix it from time to time. The man had confident look on his face and smiled at you slightly. He wore fine clothing, you guessed he had to be from higher-ups. Captain, perhaps.


"Forgive me for starling you."


"N-no," you stuttered. You coughed to cover your slip and answered lowering your voice. "I mean – it's okay, I'm fine."


"Are you one of the newbies?" he asked walking towards you. It seemed he didn't noticed your slip. You told yourself to be more careful.


"Yes, sir."


"Good. What's your name, boy?"


"It's Okuda ... Shuusuke," you improvised with random names. It seemed your stay there is going to be one big improvisation.


"Kondou Isami, it's nice to meet you," he said, you bowed to him too and cursed initially. It just had to be commander of the Shinsengumi and man Okita admired the most. Gods, you thought, if I get out of here alive it's going to be miracle. "You sure look young. Even your haori is too big for you. In which division you are?"


"Erm, First, sir," you said. You decided to go along the lie you told Wakahisa. He hummed and nodded few times.


"Why did you decide to join us?" he perked.


You looked around searching for some kind of excuse. You wanted to commit seppuku right here and there, it would surely teach you to plan things in detail.


"It's a long story... It's for a..." you paused. Who was Okita to you? Finally you decided correct word. "special someone."


Kondou hummed in agreement at your words. He smiled brightly and patted your back. "Then she must be important person."


"He is..." you unconsciously corrected him and clenched your hand over your heart. "...very dear to me. Though we haven't talked for a while and I've been worried about him."


"I see," he said as if he realized something." I'm sure everything's fine with him and you two will meet again."


"I do hope so, Kondou-san," you went silent looking away. "About the dojo," you started after few moments, very keen to leave the place. "I was just finishing, so feel free to use."


"Oh no, you just cleaned the whole room, it would be rude," Kondou laughed. Damn him, you cursed. "Let's go, I will train some time later."


"Are you sure, sir?" he laughed at you skeptical face and both of you walked out of the dojo.


While you walked through corridor you wondered how to dump Kondou. You didn't want him ask more questions. One of the members come to your rescue and you decided to bless him till your final days. Not intentionally, but he stopped and gave some letters and papers to Kondou.


You decided it was great opportunity to slip unnoticed and.


"Ah, Okuda-kun, may I have a request?"


"Request?" you nearly wailed. You turned to face Kondou with slight smile. "Sure, what is it?"


"Could you drop this papers by Okita? I'm sorry to dump this into you but there are few things I need to take care of."


"O-Okita?" you stammered with wide eyes. Your heart skipped a beat as you waited for his reply. Was he serious?


"Captain of First Division, Okita Souji, your captain," Kondou raised brow at your reaction. "You'll find him in the west wing. Room far on the left."


"Of course! I'll do it right away!" you immediately took papers from his hands and turned around. You missed confused look on commander's face. You rushed to the west wing, to Okita's room.


Somehow, asking for direction you reached your destination. With beating heart you stood before doors to his room. Now, that you were so close, you realized that you didn't know what to say. What were you going to tell him? Greet him? Or maybe scold him? Or what?


Gulping you asked for permission to enter. You told him about papers from Kondou-san. Cautiously you walked in and saw Okita on a porch leaning on the doors, his back facing you.


"Put those on the table," he said still not looking around. Trembling, you did as he told you. Your heart clenched at the sound of his voice. It was just like you remembered. He didn't look like a dying man. All scenarios you imagined with him on his deathbed shattered. You sighed with relief trying to calm your fast beating heart. Tears pricked on your eyes. "What? You're still there?"


You stood up, your back facing him. You felt his gaze on you. You let the tears flow.


"Souji-san...!" you cried and leaped towards him. Though blurry vision you saw his taken-aback expression.


"_-____...?" he whispered.


You wrapped your hands around his neck bringing him down. For a moment he stood frozen on spot before he pulled you closer and embraced you with much force. You sobbed into his kimono unable to contain emotions.


"What are you doing here, _____?" he whispered into your hair.


"I-I was so worried," you hiccupped, squeezing him even tighter. "It's been six months, Souji-san."


"You counted them?" he tried to tease you. You tugged on his hair. His chest resonated with chuckle. For quite some time you two just stood there, in each other's embrace. You moved away to wipe tears. "But really, dressing up as a man?"


"I didn't have any other idea!"


He looked at you softly and wiped remains of tears of your face.


"You shouldn't be here, you know that?"


"I do, but I couldn't just sit and do nothing. For all I knew, you could be dead!"


"Dead? Don't be ridiculous," he laughed at you. "I don't intend to die anytime soon."


"Souji-san," you looked at your feet. "I know."


"Good."


"No, I... I know about you and your illness," you said and forced yourself to look into his eyes. His green hues went wide as he stared at you. You gulped and continued. "I know about the tuberculosis."


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Hi! ^^
It's really miracle that Reader-chan wasn't discovered! And Kondou... I couldn't help myslef!


Hope you enjoyed~!

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