He dreamed about a blue sky. Fluffy, white clouds drifted lazily through the horizon.

Once again he was a little boy. He was running along the courtyard and his sister watched over him.

Then he saw her walking away. He wanted so much to run after her, but he couldn't. He was afraid. She left him alone, threw away like a trash. Somewhere deep within, he knew, she would not be coming back.

Boys in the dojo laughed at him, picked up at him. Called him pathetic, till Kondou showed him compassion.

Now he was in the Shinsengumi headquarters. Message of Kondou's defeat resounded in his ears. Impossible, he screamed in his mind. But that was a hard truth.

He stood in the darkness. In panic he looked around. He opened his mouth to shout for help, but no voice came.

And then he saw her.

______.

She stood back at him. She was glowing, with a sakura ornamented haori around her shoulders. He smiled weakly. Now he knew it was a dream. She was gone, just as everything in his life he held dear.

She turned around, blinked and shot him her cheeky smile.

She appeared right before him.

"What's with that face, Souji-san?" she asked peering at him.

"It's nothing," he somehow found a voice to reply her.

She huffed in her usual way. Her eyes widened abruptly next second and he saw sword blade, sticking out of her chest.

"______!" he cried catching her.

"...fault..." she murmured kneeling.

"What?"

"It's your fault!" she looked up at him. He felt shivers when he saw her bloody tears. She touched his cheek leaving crimson red marks. Her fingers were deadly cold. "Where I am, Souji-san? Where?!"

She disappeared from his arms like a sand slipping through a fingers. He screamed her name over and over but nobody heard him.

So he stayed trembling in darkness with her blood in his hands.

.
.
.

He woke up just to see her putting a wet cloth to his forehead.

"Is it so bad with me, so I started hallucinating?" he asked weakly, his voice was hoarse and ragged.

"Souji-san!" she jumped. Her eyes clouded with tears. At least not bloody, he thought. Was he dying? Only this was an reasonable explanation, to why she was there. Last hallucination, he guessed. "You finally woke up. Thank gods."

He send her small grin that was supposed to make the hallucination happy, but he received a trembling lip and pained look.

"...fault..." he heard. Was the dream repeating itself? Perhaps his mind this tired so it even given up on giving him new nightmares to dream about. "It's all my fault...!"

Okita frowned. She blamed herself? In every dream she blamed him. Once she was vengeful, once cold, once crying; yet always dead and bloody.

"You took all of these bullets!" she sobbed into her hands. "I always bring disaster...! People are hurt because of me... Kimiko... and now even Souji-san...!"

He touched her hand. He noticed it was warm, not a deadly cold like ever before.

"______... are you really there?" he asked. His throat tightened. Impossible, one part of his mind whispered.

With a little left strength he jerked her towards him. Her face twisted in worry. She hugged him, nearly choking him. But at this moment he didn't care. He squeezed her with all strength left.

She was warm, more real than anything else. She was alive. Welcoming. Homely.

All what he wanted.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered just before he fell asleep.

***

He looks horrible, you thought changing the wet cloth on Okita's forehead. He mostly slept, whether it was a day or a night. When he woke up they talked a little, he took medicine from dr. Matsumoto, ate if you made him to, and fell asleep again.

Dr. Matsumoto let you stay in this guest house for as long as you wanted. You learned that Yamazaki stayed here too, since he was also an medic. He was supposed to keep guard at Okita.

"Sorry for questioning you," he said one evening. "Your name sounded familiar. Hijikata-san ordered to look for __________ ______, since Okita was insisting that he wasn't alone back there."

"R-really?"

"All we found was burned shop and no clues about your whereabouts. Imagine my surprise when me and dr. Matsumoto found you in Yukimura's house."

And so everything was clear between you two. You took shifts with Yamazaki; you stayed with Okita during the night. At some point you noticed they weren't really fond of each other.

Okita's condition was more or less stable. Though sometimes at night he would wake up, sweating and shivering. Then you would hug his head and try to calm him down. Sometimes you laid beside him on the floor, embracing him, like now.

"It's alright," you said for a hundredth time. Maybe it was a thousandth time, you lost count. He mumbled your name.

"Why are you here...?" he asked. His arms tightened around you. "You can leave... anytime you want."

"You forgot already? I'm not giving up on you," you said. Tears threatened to fall again. "And you still have to work hard for my forgiveness."

You sent him a sad smile. He tried to laugh a little, but it ended with coughing attack. With heavy heart you held him to your chest as he trembled more and more with every single cough.

It took a moment before he could breathe normally again.

"You must be crazy..." he spoke, probably half asleep. Nonetheless, he was right. You were crazy - you ran away from home, got acquainted with a dangerous man, almost got killed, were walking corpse and you still were ready to die for that man. You were indeed crazy woman "...but that's ______ I know... We're not giving up on each other..."

"Yes..." you answered, closing your eyes. You wondered how long it would last. You were afraid, so afraid. Sometimes he got better, he could even sit up. He would talk to you, but then everything would crash, and his condition would get much worse. All because of silver bullets.

Okita fell asleep again. You stood up to change the water in the bowl. You looked outside, it was almost the morning, the sky was becoming gray and soon sun will follow. You smiled with nostalgia at this sight. You were bound to never see a midday sun in all its glory again.

"Good morning," you jumped when you heard Yamazaki's voice. You shook your head and greeted him. "You should rest. You look horrible."

You laughed a little at his words. Sleepless nights and days must have caused this. It wasn't like you could sleep when Okita was in such condition.

During the day you usually napped for a few hours and then you lied lifelessly on the futon. Then you made a dinner for the three of you and took a shift with watching over Okita.

"It's alright," you said. "I'm fine. There is still some time till dawn."

"You..." he narrowed his eyes at you. "Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you taking care of him?"

"I...," you hesitated. You smiled sadly. "It's because all of this is my fault. Souji-san being a Fury, his condition after shooting. Everything is on me, no matter how much he denies it."

Yamazaki said nothing else and you went back to Okita's room. You placed a hand on his head. Nothing has changed, he still had a fever.

This state continued for a few weeks, until you found him wriggling in his bed and gasping for air. His hair turned white.

"Souji-san!" you dropped the bowl with water and rushed to him. He mumbled something uncomprehend. You've never seen him in such state. What was happening? You knew that white hair and red eyes meant that he was a Fury, but why now?

Okita groaned as he leaned on his arms.

He wants blood, a thought crossed your mind. You wondered, what would happened if he would get it from you. You remembered this feeling of craving for the blood. In his case, it was much worse. He was paler than ever, sweated and shivered.

You looked at your hand. You had solution, but was it the right one? Would it help?

You took kaiken out of your obi and with a swift move you cut your hand. You winced, but let the blood flow. You noticed Okita staring at you. No, at your hand.

"Here, take it... It would help," you smiled at him and held out your hand. A few drops fell on the floor before he moved closer and licked the blood. It took a gulp and his hair slowly went back to brown. In a blink of an eye, he gazed at you with green hues. It took few more gulps till he looked better, less pale. Heathier. He still held your hand in his own. He mumbled your name.

"You..." he started and took a deep breath.

"Are crazy, I know," you interrupted with a cheeky smile.

"No, you saved me," he smiled softly. "But it suits too."

"I would do that anytime."

"Huh?"

"Anytime you would need blood, I would give it to you," you held your tears back. "So you'll be alright."

You let yourself to lean on him. You heard his heart beating. He lived, he was alright. He wasn't throwing himself on futon, he didn't suffer. That was all that mattered now. You weren't sure if you've done right thing. But what was done is done.

"Hey," he said after some time. He brought your chin up and gazed at you. Your heart instantly fluttered. He put his forehead on yours. "I will only take your blood. No one else's."

"Souji-san..." you felt him brush his lips along yours before he drew back. Your face went crimson red when you touched your lips."Wha-whaat?"

He grinned at you. You missed that confident, amused grin so much. You covered your mouth with kimono sleeve. But you couldn't help but laugh.

"You're unbelievable!"

He laughed at you and ruffled your hair.

"Okita? What are you...?" dr. Matsumoto walked into the room. He was blinking in surprise. "How are you able to sit?

"Ah, doctor~. All thanks to ______~,"he said.

Dr. Matsumoto proceeded with examination and it turned out that gunshot wounds were almost healed, the fever declined, and that he looked well. He only nodded when he learned that it was all thanks to the blood.

You sighed in relief. But if Okita's condition was better, what did it mean to you? Would you two go back to Kyoto? He was the Shinsengumi captain, you reminded yourself. Besides he was stubborn and would definitely rush back. Yamazaki was the same opinion as he told Okita to not overdo. He said he will notify Hijikata about the situation. At mention of Hijikata, Okita's face fell. He looked angry and scoffed.

"What now?" you asked quietly.

"Well, he still needs to stay for medical examination, and..." dr. Matsumoto began.

"No, I mean," you interrupted him. "What are you going to do now?"

You looked directly at Okita. He knew what you were asking him of.

"We'll wait for Hijikata-san's answer," Yamazaki replied instead.

~~***~~

Hello! I've got not much to say today... Well, Souji-san is healthy again! ^^"
I hope you enjoyed :D