''Soon your body will undergo major changes," dr. Matsumoto spoke. "You will be stronger, your wounds will heal faster, you will feel better. "

The bald man sighed. You smiled at him.

"Please, go on," you urged him. You knew that being the Fury changed everything. You were just like Okita right now. The doctor nodded solemnly. Night before he found you right after Kaoru left. All you could say, that the flask wasn't your possession and you didn't drink it on your own. How could you explain the whole situation?

"You will be able to function only at night. For a while you'll still be able to see the sun, but not for long. Keep in mind that you will be weak, tired and sleepy, at some point it'll even be painful" he took deep breath. "After some time you'll start feeling bloodlust."

"Bloodlust?" you frowned. You didn't hear anything about it. Okita hadn't told you anything about bloodlust.

"Yes. Moreover, the Furies don't live long. They are superior in strength and stamina, but not for a long period of time."

You blinked. Your stomach twisted.

"The Water of life does not heal illnesses, it only postpones them. It also causes infertility. We still don't know how to undo the transformation... Yukimura was still working on the Water of life when he went missing. "

You sat silent staring at the floor. Your thoughts were in chaos trying to comprehend dr. Matsumoto's words. Water of life doesn't heal illnesses, it causes bloodlust, it kills. What good came from using it? Why was it even created?

'The Corps,' you remembered. Okita was transferred to the division called the Corps. He said, it was for soldiers like him. The Furies. Did it mean the Shinsengumi created them? From normal people no less? You couldn't imagine such a kind man as Kondou doing such terrific thing. And what dr. Matsumoto said? Yukimura. Was it possible that it was the missing father of Chizuru? Perhaps that's why they let her stay with the Shinsengumi.

Now you were one of them, one of the Furies. Just like Okita. But did it mean he experienced the bloodlust? Perhaps he did, maybe even the night when you stopped him. Maybe even earlier. His tuberculosis... it was still inside him. It still could kill him. Even thinking about it hurt.

"I'll leave you now. Your wound is good, just use these medications I gave you and everything will be fine," dr. Matsumoto stood up and gave you a pat on shoulder. You smiled weakly and bowed.

You didn't have strength to move from the spot. Servants came with dinner, you didn't touch the food. You decided to go to the garden, under the cherry tree was your mother's grave. You stood before large tree. You prayed before the tombstone as the wind run through your hair.

"Mother, what should I do?" you asked. Only silence replied. "You told me to live a life worth living. Did I do well? I didn't want to be sold like a cow. Was running away good decision? All I ever did was running away. One person told me I was bratty princess," your voice trembled a little at thought of Okita. You shook your head. "You know, I went to Kyoto. You told me it was beautiful city. It is, it really it. Though lately it's total chaos."

You sat down in front of the grave.

"I met wonderful people. The Shimazu family. And... and Kimiko. She was my first real friend, you know? She taught me how to live in the outside world. And she didn't ask questions! She was... she was wonderful friend. But she's dead now. Mom... I... It's all my fault. I don't even know where to start."

You went silent. Chilly breeze made you shiver but you didn't move from the spot. A few sakura petals flew across your eyes.

"______," you jumped startled. Behind you stood your father. His face looked wearier and more wrinkled than you remembered. Most of his hair turned white. His eyes, which used to shine with dangerous glint, lost it brightness. Was it possible to age so much within only seven years?

You looked down, ready to hear the lecture. Instead you felt pair of strong arms around you. You froze.

"______, I'm so sorry," your father's voice shook as he held you tighter. "I never wanted you to hate me. I thought I lost you. I sent so many people after you and nobody could find you...!"

"Father..." you trembled with sudden urge to hug him. But you stayed still.

"When your mother died I was so lost. I did what they wanted me to do. I had to... I knew I hurt you. I wasn't a father to you. When we found you at the gates I thought gods gave me a second chance, but I was too scared to talk to you."

He moved away from you. You noticed tears in his eyes. He smiled at you.

"You grew so much, you look like your mother. You have that fire in your eyes, just like her," he said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, ______."

You didn't know what to say. Could you simply forgive him? For those years of loneliness, for treating you like a dust? For being a stranger more than a father? You didn't want to forgive him, for last seven years you lived fueled with anger of him selling you off.

So why you couldn't stop the tears from falling?

***

After a month you finally decided what you wanted to do. With reaching the resolution helped you the katana you found. The katana you borrowed from Minamoto-san, the same one you took to the Shinsengumi headquarters. The same one that you used for attacking Kaoru.

Your wound healed and, just like on your left hand, only a scar reminded. It was ugly, lopsided, pinkish scar. But it reminded you that you couldn't stay here. Okita was also shot. He was hurting even more, you refused to think he was dead. You would not give up on him. Never. When you thought you were dying you admitted what you felt for green eyed man.

You loved him.

Since the times in the bakery, when he used to come by. When he teased you, when he joked with you, when he helped with you. Or when he offered you that one of the kind smile. But you were afraid. Afraid that he will laugh in your face, call you an idiot. And even more, you were afraid of being loved back. You didn't know how to love, really. Only person, who could show you how to, died. Then all you received was faked similes and politeness.

So you were afraid, that the feelings also would be fake, that it all would crumble to the dust. That you would be again left alone, without simple ounce of happiness. So you put up your walls up. But soon Okita broke through them, he didn't even know about it. Everything in your life was short and restless. Your happiness would be the same, short-lived. How would you reciprocate the feelings, if you didn't know how. You'd probably run away yet again.

This is who you were in the past, but no longer. You didn't have much time left, being the Fury changed everything. You would not back away with a tail between your legs. Whether it meant being rejected or laughed off, you would not run away. Not anymore.

You decided that you will travel to Edo. To Yukimura Kado's house, to find clues about the Furies and how to treat them. Then you will find Okita.

You told this to your father. Surprisingly, he took it quite well.

"You really don't want to stay home?"

"Father, this place is no home to me," you told him honestly. You saw hurt within his eyes. "I want to find my own home, built I with my own hands. I want to live following mother's last words. And there is still something I need to do."

The room fell silent. You father sighed loudly and stood up. He moved to the casket and pulled out of it small package.

"Here, it belonged to you mother," he said. You unwrapped the package and looked at the kaiken. "I'm sure she'd want you to take it."

You grasped the dagger with you hand. The blade reflected morning sun, glinting and shining as if it was sharpened just moment ago. You remembered it. Your mother used to take it anywhere she went.

"Thank you," you said and hid the dagger in your obi, like your mother used to do. "I will cherish it forever."

~~***~~~

History time part 2!

Kaiken – 20-25 cm long dagger, used for self-defense, usually carried by woman. Woman of samurai household learned how to use it. When a samurai woman married, she was expected to carry a kaiken with her when she moves in with her husband.

Sorry for quite short chapter compared to earlier ones, but next will be longer! I promise :3