"That guy with tears in his eyes and ghosts in his heart. He loved her, and you could see it." —Jamie Tworkowski

**

Ignorance is bliss.

There are things better left unnoticed, shoved under the rug, or kept locked inside a closet.

Because when you come into realization, and set it free for the world... everything changes in a different light.

The worst thing is, you can never take back innocence when it's lost.

The small moments, the soft touches, the stolen glances, the way fingers brush one another gently with the feeling that lingers with it just like the taste of hot chocolate on a winter day. It is warm, it leaves something inside.

And then there's also the echoes of her laughter, and glimpses of her smile which comes flashing at the back of his mind no matter where he roams his eyes.

They all suddenly become so clear when acknowledged.

The mist cleared up and showed the whole scenery.

It was beautiful.

But he is not destined for beautiful things.

And she was beautiful.

But yes, he is not meant for anything beautiful.

Whether it was to receive what she always willingly gives... or to give in return even if he badly wants to.

Because just how do you give when you're empty?

"WOW, YOU'RE really smart," Jisoo said in awe as she read the paper Namjoon slid on the table for her to read. They were doing their assigned partner work in the library for more than an hour now.

He chuckled to her compliment, "Just a little sharp I'll say," he said and closed the book he was holding.

Jisoo smiled and went back on quickly typing the last sentences she is transferring on the document. Namjoon started grabbing the reference books they used to put it back on the shelves while she finished the work. Minutes later, he sat back down the chair across from her.

"I'm done!" Jisoo exclaimed and turned the laptop to him, "We completed this quickly," she happily added.

"Yes," Namjoon nodded and pulled the laptop towards him to scan through what she typed. After some second, he grinned in satisfaction.

"You're really good too. I'll take this to have one final edit before I give it back to you to check so we can submit it already," he uttered before shutting down his laptop.

"Oh, okay! Just send it to my email," Jisoo beamed at him and they started fixing their stuff.

On the other side, only a few tables apart from the two students who finished their task smoothly and early, are yet another two students who are not sure what they are doing or why they are even there in the first place.

"So are you and Jisoo not really dating?" Bona quipped while staring curiously at Taehyung with a creased forehead glaring a hole in his laptop.

He almost broke the pencil he was biting as he snapped out of his brain torture because of the sudden question. He looked at her and answered, "No."

Bona's eyes widened in slight amusement, "Wow. I thought you're just denying it."

Taehyung gave her a look of disbelief and chose to ignore her, thinking she would drop the topic but perhaps he really knows nothing about the girl in front of him.

She leaned her face on one hand and tilted her head as she asked, "Why?"

He couldn't believe what she was asking. His brain short circuited and he felt his face heating up. He wasn't exactly irritated but somehow he—

"You're blushing like this so why not?" she stated while smiling, obviously entertained from what she is seeing right now.

"Who the hell is blushing?" he snarled at her in a hush, looking around and darting his gaze to Jisoo who was a short distance away from where they were.

Somehow he was so afraid of any chance of her hearing that.

His heart almost jumped out his chest when their eyes met and Jisoo waved at him. He gulped and just gave her a nod before averting his gazes and hiding behind his laptop screen.

"You," she pointed at his ears, "You're the one who is flushing. Saw it. Your ears look like tomatoes," she commented and laughed.

He squinted his eyes at her and held his ears. Taehyung heaved a deep sigh and bowed down when he realized it's hot and surely red, too.

Bona shook her head while observing him. Then, she uttered in a sympathetic tone, "Man, you're in trouble."

He clenched his jaw and made sure she knows he is annoyed, "Let's just do this fucking project."

Bona shrugged with a knowing smile before she went back to scribbling on her paper. Taehyung was thankful she decided to shut up because he just wants to get through this partner activity and not have himself more confused or cornered over the one thing he is avoiding deep down.

However, minutes later, Jisoo and Namjoon stood up from their seats and the two decided to walk in their direction. Jisoo tapped Taehyung on his shoulder to make him look at her.

"Are you guys done?" she asked and looked at them both.

"Well, we're still yet to finish the conclusion and also supporting arguments in the body," Bona responded.

"It's five minutes before break though," Namjoon interjected while holding the strap of his backpack hanging on his shoulder, "There's still a week before submission."

"Hm," Bona nodded and closed her book and placed down her pen, "Well yes, I would like to take a break unless you...?" she trailed on her sentence and glanced at Taehyung.

"Nah," he closed the laptop quickly, "I'm done with this for today," he uttered and stood up already, picking up the papers, dumping it carelessly in his bag before just holding it on the handle loop, not bothering to sling it on his shoulder at least.

"Great! We're done too. Let's go," Bona exclaimed enthusiastically and swiftly took all of her things in one scoop.

They are headed towards the exit when Jisoo turned to Taehyung who was walking beside her, "Eat lunch with us, okay?"

Taehyung just nodded dismissively and cracked his neck. He's really not a fan of sitting for hours. He hates it but of course, he needs to do school work now. It would be one of his regrets that he enrolled in college.

"You know," Jisoo started, clinging to his arm, a habit she is quite developing lately and a habit he does not mind at all.

"We're already done! I think Namjoon and I make a great team! I am so glad it's one requirement off my list now," she happily says.

Taehyung glanced at her, she was looking at him with those sparkling doe eyes again. He felt his chest tightened that he needed to avert his stares just so he could breathe.

"I don't think I am a good team with my partner," he answered, still not looking at her.

Suddenly, staring at her is too nerve wracking now.

It's not that he hates looking at her.

But perhaps the very reason is that he never wanted to look away anymore. However, he hopes she cannot see her reflection in his eyes.

"Huh? Why? Bona's kind and funny," Jisoo told him, baffled and brows furrowing over what he said.

"Funny," Taehyung scoffed and glanced at Bona behind their backs. The latter looked at him and to Jisoo's hands clinging on his arm and smirked.

"I don't find her amusing," he added while directly looking at her friend, making sure she hears and she knows. However, she did not pay mind to him.

"I've texted the girls already and Nayeon saved seats for us," Bona simplay uttered while looking at her phone and towards them.

"Namjoon, you can also join us and call Jimin and Jungkook!" Jisoo invited the guy who was also behind them.

"Uh, really?" he asked, taken aback before he grabbed his phone from his back pocket, "I'll message them then. Thanks," he smiled.

Once they were out of the library, Taehyung suddenly halted and turned to Jisoo, "I'll just follow," he told her, not giving her any time to answer when he walked the opposite way.

He needed a refreshment. It's like he was put on a hotseat.

Taehyung was immersed in his thoughts as he was standing in front of the vending machine. He clicked on a coke and bent down to take it, opening the lid with a simple flick of his finger. He took a big gulp and turned to his right but someone bumped on him, spilling the drink which he easily avoided by stepping back in reflex.

"The fuck—!" he shot a glare at the person who crashed into him but his eyes widened after seeing it was Jisoo. He did not notice that she had been following him.

"Shit," he mumbled, alarmed after seeing that the drink had spilled all over her. He removed his hoodie to wipe her clothes.

"Hey," she laughed and watched him panic, "Your hoodie is white! It's okay, it's just a stain, it will dry off," Jisoo told him.

Taehyung was frowning while wiping her, "What are you even doing here? I thought you went with them?" he looked at her face as she pouted.

"Well, you left and didn't say where you will go so I kind of worried a little," Jisoo responded which earned a deep sigh from him.

"I said I'll follow. Stupid," he reprimanded her and pushed her forehead.

"Heh," Jisoo snickered and tilted her head to catch his eyes, "You'll join us for lunch, right?" she asked.

"Yes. But you need to wash yourself first," He stood straight to wipe her face with the back of his hand. Taehyung pinched her cheek, "You're such a handful."

"You owe me two dollars, though," Jisoo ignored and wiggled her eyebrows at him.

Taehyung looked at her in disbelief, "Wash first," he told her while rolling his eyes.

They went to the nearest sink just by the open field to wash her shirt. Jisoo ran like a child and he could not help but shake his head as he watched her. He trailed closely behind and stood beside her while she washed.

As she opened the faucet, she rubbed her shirt wet a little, crumpling it. Taehyung just remained looking at her silently. He cannot comprehend why but now she looks so different in his eyes.

He is sure he memorized her like the back of his hand but she suddenly looks like a whole new person. A whole new world of emotions.

Strands of her hair fall from her shoulder as she lean down the sink to wash her face. He unconsciously held her hair from falling and getting wet. Jisoo seemed to notice and she smiled at him, her eyes forming a crescent shape because of how she beams.

They say the earth roughly spins 1,000 miles per hour.

But it took Taehyung's world a second and a glance from her to pause.

Everything went still and quiet.

The only chaotic thing right now is his pounding heart.

Unaware of things she is making him feel, Jisoo simply went back to washing her face. The moment she looked away, he remained staring softly.

He didn't notice the small smile drawn to his lips.

"I'll go get the extra hoodie and shirt in my locker," he said as he gave her his handkerchief after she was done, "You can't roam around with your clothes stained like that," he said.

"Okay, I'll wait outside the restroom," Jisoo agreed as they went separate ways.

Taehyung walked to his locker, opened it and held his chest. His breaths hitch again but it is different from his attacks. He closed his eyes and dropped his face inside his locker, the urge of squashing his head with the door of his locker to put his composure back was strong. The passing students eyed him weirdly.

"I need to get my shit together," he mumbled after a few minutes of calming himself. He snatched his hoodie and slammed his locker shut as he went back to Jisoo.

She quickly dressed up inside as he waited for her outside before they headed towards the cafeteria where their friends are. They walk towards them as they notice how Jisoo is in his clothes. They all just shared knowing glances and decided to remain quiet about what they observed.

Well, not everyone.

Jimin, munching on his burger, suddenly spoke as Taehyung took the seat beside Jisoo, "So aside from sharing hoodies, you two have couple bracelets now?" he uttered and gulped his food.

Jisoo was confused for a second before she looked at the bracelet she was wearing and at Taehyung's wrist. He really is wearing the same bracelet with half the silver bead only that it was in black. Little did she know, the half beads are magnets which complete one another... and he didn't have any plans of ever telling her. Jisoo figured that perhaps he has been wearing it all this time but she cannot see it because of the sleeves of his hoodie.

"Wait, the bracelet you gave me has a partner? I didn't—" Taehyung stuffed a spoon of food in her mouth to cut her.

"It's just bracelets," he said while gritting his teeth and glaring at Jimin across him. The latter's evil smile widened at his statement.

"Aren't you both a thing?" he asked, clearly adding fuel to the fire.

Namjoon choked on his food and coughed loudly because of his friend. Jungkook just played with the straw of his drink while the girls side-eyed Taehyung, lowkey waiting for his response about a question they wanted to ask in a long time.

"We're friends," Jisoo bite on her food and answered nonchalantly. Taehyung was quiet.

Still, Jimin has no plans of dropping the topic. He looked at them and said, "I have friends but we don't have a couple bracelets, " he uttered in a teasing tone. Namjoon could only facepalm himself.

"Same thoughts," Bona seconded and Taehyung swore he was an inch away from the brink of snapping.

"Are you sure you have friends?" he spat back with a blank face. Nayeon almost spit her drink.

The table laughed at what Taehyung said while Jimin complained. He successfully changed the topic until they finished snacking.

Yet throughout the whole day, even as he tried to listen to his classes, what they told him and teased him kept distracting him. Taehyung is not dumb to say he is clueless of what they are implying but it was too much for him to face yet.

Heck, what does he know of liking someone? Of love?

Him, who has a hole in his chest, with scratches of his past tattooed on his skin. He was a crumbling sand who continues to fall apart every second. Yet he struggles.

He kept on sewing, patching them, shutting them off, keeping his monsters inside, and locking up the ghosts in his core.

His body... a tapestry of all the wounds inflicted on him.

And finally, after all the years of bleeding and letting it hurt, he wanted to tend to them.

He needed a heart to give yet he was never finished stitching it back to himself. He was still in pieces, in messy shambles, in disarrayed chunks. He is still in the process of fixing himself. He was still broken.

You are the biggest part of me now.

He wanted to tell the girl who was closing the door of the convenience store who has no idea of the clashing feelings he is having right now.

Ironic.

Jisoo turned to Taehyung and gestured towards him, "Let's go home," she sweetly said.

How would you feel if someone so broken called you a piece of them?

Taehyung nodded at her as they started walking side by side to the bus stop.

How would you feel if I... call you a piece of me?

Taehyung glanced at Jisoo. Just in time, she turned to him and uttered, "This was a fun day."

"Hm, yeah," he whispered, eyes never leaving her.

"I love normal days like this. Doesn't necessarily need something big to happen, small things are the best!" she laughed to herself, unaware of how he was looking at her at that moment.

Lately, you're the only part of myself I want to cherish.

His eyes looked at their hands, almost brushing one another. He unconsciously reaches for it but drops his hand after realizing what he was doing. Jisoo glanced at him and the hand he stopped himself from holding hers.

"You can reach for my hand," she suddenly said.

Taehyung looked up at her and she stared at him.

"I'll hold you anytime," Jisoo told him with a smile.

His heart thumped again, as if it was only feeling alive when he was with her.

Yeah.

Taehyung reached for her hand.

I'm okay like this for now.

He slowly intertwined their fingers together. She was also looking at their clasped hands.

I don't think I could stop feeling guilty of wanting you.

He looked back at her again.

Because you don't deserve shards.

Jisoo grinned and continued walking, speaking enthusiastically about a story from her day while he just watched her.

You deserve a whole lot of everything and so much more. That's what I want to give you.

He looked at her with eyes that are usually blank and dull on most days... but every time it was her he was staring at, his eyes were glistening of bright lights, too.

And as long as I am broken—

Taehyung's hand tightened its hold on her, Jisoo felt it and so he turned to beam at him.

Oh God, she was beyond beautiful.

She was breathtaking. World halting. Heart thumping.

He couldn't stop eyeing her intently as he somberly whispered to himself.

How dare I want you so bad?