CHAPTER 24: Shattered Shutter

"They exist to you now as nothing more than living proof that something can still hurt you ... with no contact at all." —Ranata Suzuki

**

"DO I NEED to wear this?" Taehyung asked and dropped the box with a loud thud on the floor with a big frown on his face. He held the hem of the pink apron with a rabbit printed on it and scoffed.

"Yup," Jisoo raised her phone from the counter as she opened its camera and quickly took a picture of him, "Turn to the left a little," she was laughing as she continued clicking on her phone.

"Stop laughing like that," he groaned and glared at her, "You're being the bully now, huh?"

"Hehe," she giggled and looked at her phone before showing him the photo, "You're so cute here. Look," she waved the phone and grinned at him.

"Ugh," he lazily bent down and grabbed a handful of bottles from the box, "You're just playing me, are you?" he complained as he arranged them.

"What? No!" she shook her head eagerly. Jisoo put her head on her hands and stared at him, "Being cute is a compliment, ya know."

Taehyung rolled his eyes while continuing what he was doing, "I don't even know why I'm agreeing with this," he sighed.

"You were the one who volunteered though," Jisoo's smile grew wider as she watched him work with his buff and broad body in a bright pink apron.

It was unnecessary, really, she doesn't even have a uniform as an employee of the store but she told him he needed to wear it if he insisted on helping her around. Never in her wildest dreams did she think he'd agree.

"Look, it's only been three days since the incident and you're already working again," he started and glanced at her.

"I've skipped for four days, I don't wanna get fired even if my boss says it's okay," she uttered and pouted. He has been lecturing her since the moment she told him she'd be manning her post again.

"You should quit this job," Taehyung said.

Jisoo leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, "And what do I pay for my expenses?" she asks.

"Are you seriously in a tight spot for money?" he questioned back as he raised his eyebrow but she didn't answer, "How about your pa—"

She cut him off and turned her back from him, "It's okay. I'm not hopelessly poor, you know?" she laughed lightly, "Just place the last of those on the top shelf," she added and pointed towards the remaining bottles before she went out the counter.

Taehyung quickly put the rest on the shelf and followed Jisoo who walked outside of the store. They are just barely opening up. During the weekends, the convenience store only works for a few hours. It was odd, especially taking into account how much salary she gets as a part-timer but she decides not to question a good salary pay.

"It's a Saturday so you should've rested at home. Your store doesn't even have enough customers. I'm actually amazed it's not closing yet," he told her.

"Hey!" she snapped her neck towards his direction, "For a loyal customer, you're badmouthing our store too much," she scolded him and sat down on the gutter.

"I only go here for you," Taehyung uttered and looked down at her.

Jisoo looked up to meet his eyes in return and smiled, "I know."

He quickly averted his gaze and cleared his throat, "Because I... You might set this store on fire if you're alone," he said.

She laughed at him, "Sure."

"It's true," he mumbled before sitting beside her.

"Yeah, alright," Jisoo dismissively agreed and stretched her legs.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he observed her, "Does it hurt anywhere?" Taehyung inspected her with his eyes as he looked for any sign.

"Taehyungie, it was just a minor head injury," she sighed and then punched her chest softly, in a gesture so confident and as if bragging, "Nothing that can beat a tough one like me!"

He put his cheek on his right hand while looking towards her, "You don't look so tough for me," he commented.

"As if you're so strong yourself," she retorted and stuck out her tongue to him in a childish manner.

"Huh, don't test me," he rolled his eyes.

Jisoo just laughed and leaned backwards on her arms while spacing out on the road. There were no people around and the establishments near them were almost empty, too. It was silent with only the sound of a few cars driving by near the road. A cat passed by the dumpster on the other side.

"The streets are so quiet around this time," she said, "It looks peaceful around here, yeah?" she asked while still staring in front.

"You see peaceful and I see empty," Taehyung snickered, "We're way too different."

"Don't you think it's a matter of perspective?" she told him and glanced on his side, "The whole world... Different eyes see different views."

Silence wrapped them for a short minute until he spoke.

"Wow, that's deep," Taehyung smirked at her and looked at her.

"I know," Jisoo proudly said. She put her fingers on both sides of her temple like she is mind reading, "My brain's awesome," she added and guffawed.

"Are you sure you're not hurt in the head anymore?" he questioned.

She glared at him, "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"What?" he stifled a laugh and messed her hair with one hand, "I'm just worried, silly," he told her.

"You're so kind now," Jisoo commented and fixed her hair, "Okay, maybe not too kind but in comparison to the first time I met you, that is," she grumbled while blowing the strands of her hair.

Taehyung looked away, "Yeah," he quietly said.

"I..." his voice trailed off.

"Hm?" Jisoo leaned towards him a little to catch his eyes.

"If the Taehyung months ago meet the Taehyung today," he suddenly uttered while still facing the opposite direction, "He probably won't recognize himself."

"Is that a good thing?" he asked and turned to her.

"I think so," Jisoo answered with a shrug. She averted her eyes and faced the empty streets in front.

"Hey," Taehyung called her but they were still both not looking at each other.

"What?" she responded.

"I know you've seen me in my worst days," he started and bowed his head, "But have you really thought about knowing the past me?"

"People hate me for a reason, I hate myself for a reason. A whole lot of them," he said, "It's true. I get detention every time I go to school because I only go there to either pass time or find someone to pick a fight with as a distraction."

"And I'm rude," he uttered.

"And I'm a thug, sort of. You've seen how I participate in brawls like a delinquent, right?" he continued.

"I smoke," he added.

"I rebel," he added again.

"I don't do drugs but I guess people assumed my pills are," and again.

"I've fooled around... Slept around, a few times," and again.

"I guess I bring trouble with me," and again...

He repeated it over and over, counting them like ghosts in a haunted mansion, pretending they were sheeps so he could put these feelings to sleep.

"I've never thought about my actions," he admitted, "I never really think about their consequences or how grave, how stupid, and how bad they were, how they still are. And that they'll never go away."

"Maybe because I'm not looking forward to living before. That's why I don't put much thought into it," he let out a hollow chuckle.

"But lately... I've finally been thinking about them," he confessed and looked in her eyes, "Because of you."

There was a pause in time after he bared his feelings.

Jisoo tilted her head as she stared back at him, "That's already one thing," she responded.

"It's true. The awful things we have in the past are written in permanent ink," she looked up at the sky and said, "We could scribble over them and hide them but we can ever erase them."

"The things you've already done are the things you cannot do anything for anymore," she continued, "But the things you're about to do, are the things you can still do something about."

"People grow," she uttered.

"And you're still growing," she told him in comfort.

"I don't think we'll ever stop growing... We only grow flowers for our own graveyard in this life, anyway," she smiled to herself.

"So if you feel ashamed of the you in the past," she added.

"Just face him and grow past him," and added.

"Correct the things you can correct and forever plead for forgiveness to things you cannot change anymore," and added.

"The best thing you could do for the mistakes you can right and the mistakes you no longer can, is to move forward and do better," and added, again.

She repeated it over and over, for every ghost he has seen, to replace them with seeds each time, for the garden he'd grow in his dreams and no longer the haunted places he was used to.

"You're doing great," she assured him and looked deep in his orbs.

Taehyung wanted to laugh at himself. His selfishness is pretty amazing, huh. Someone as wonderful as her, he stubbornly keeps by his side. For a moment, he wanted to feel sorry but all he could ever recognize is gratefulness that she came by. And for that, all his pathetic self could offer in return to her is... Honesty.

"About Irene," he said, "She's the one involved, right?"

"I— She was part of my ugly past," he owned up to, "And I'm saying this because of the asshole that was me. Of, probably, who is still me."

"We... had..." he gulped and found it hard to say because of the fear that it would change something, or whatever reaction she would have.

"We had something before," he uttered, "It was nothing special but—"

"Hmm," Jisoo suddenly started stretching her arms over her head in the middle of his talk, "It's okay," she stood up and jumped on her feet.

"I'm not meeting with the past Taehyung," she whispered while her back was facing him before she turned and gave a small smile, "Let's go back inside?"

—but if I knew I'd hold you, I would have never touched anybody else.

He wanted to add.

But he didn't.

Or somehow, did not have a chance to.

"OKAY, I'LL WAIT for you," Jisoo said to Taehyung before putting down the call. Hours after opening the store, he needed to leave for the clean up drive he was assigned to in the university in concern with his records and failed courses.

It was mandatory and it took an hour of conversation for her to finally convince him to go. Jisoo turned her back from the counter to fix her things.

"Uhm, I'd like to order a gulp of iced coffee..." a voice suddenly spoke from behind and she hastily answered.

"Okay," she pressed onto the cashier before facing the guy, "This costs..."

"Oh, Jungkook?" she uttered in recognition.

"Hi," he gave her a tight smile.

"Wait, I'll get you the cup," she grinned and went to grab him one as she punched a receipt for him.

"Here," she handed him.

"The fountain drink machine is over there," she gestured just across the counter. Jungkook headed towards the machine to get his drink.

"Were you out taking pictures again?" Jisoo asked to start a conversation as she placed her bag in front to continue fixing her stuff.

"Yes," Jungkook answered after filling his cup and walking to the counter, "You're back working already? Alone?" he asked and looked at her.

"Wouldn't that..." he rubbed the back of his neck, "Be too tiring for you? I mean... Not to be nosy or... Like, in your condition?" he bit his lip hoping he's not meddling too much.

"No worries, I'm fine now," she responded, "Besides, it's an early closing for the weekends. I'm just about to finish up here," she got out from the counter with her bag.

"Can I..." Jungkook drank his cup down to ease his nervousness before he continued with the question, "Can I help you?"

Jisoo laughed as she noticed that he was trying to open up to her. She gave him a thumbs up, "I would love your help."

They went on to check around the store and arrange some things before they closed and locked it. She went to her bicycle which she parked in front.

"Uhm, are you going home yet?" Jungkook glanced at her.

"Nope," she answered, "I'm waiting for someone. How about you?"

"Ah, I'll probably go around the town," he told her, "It's quiet around this time so I feel more at ease taking photos."

"Ah, okay," Jisoo nodded while looking at the streets. There are still few people around but it's not as empty as it was earlier.

"Uhm," Jungkook contemplated on how to tell her about something.

Jisoo felt him pondering so she decided to ask for herself, "What is it?"

"I... I don't have anyone to ask about this," he started as he played with the strap of his camera, "And uh, I know we're not that close..."

"But I just think I don't have anyone else to talk about this with," he confessed.

"Sure, go on. You can tell me anything," she said and tilted her head to catch his gaze since he was unconsciously bowing his head, "I'd see what I can do."

"I plan to pass my portfolio," he told her, "My works, I mean... I don't really plan on pursuing photography as a career but—" he pursed his lips and sighed.

"I don't know, one studio reached out to me because of a secret instagram account where I post my photos and I felt happy and just..." Jungkook was at a loss for words to say.

"You want to give it a try?" Jisoo asked him carefully.

He nodded like a kid and took courage to stare in her eyes, "Do you think I should?"

She smiled at him widely, "Yes!" she enthusiastically agreed, "I told you you're great with it and this is a great chance for you."

"Don't make anything you'll regret for the rest of your life," she said to him softly, "If it made you happy, go for it."

Jungkook smiled back at her. He was really planning to submit but the coward part of him was doubting. He didn't think he'd be seeing her in the store right away and perhaps just went there unconsciously but he was glad that he did.

In a chance encounter like this, with her.

Now, he is more determined to pursue it with her encouragement. He didn't know why, but he'd assume that she just really has this influence on people. And badly, to him, also.

"Uh," he suddenly remembered another one he was supposed to ask if they met, "One more thing, Jisoo..."

"Yeah?"

"Can I pass that one picture of yours in my portfolio?" he bit his lip and stared nervously at her.

"Huh?" Jisoo was shocked for a second, "Well... You could. If you think it's a good picture," she responded after and laughed, "I'm more grateful and honored to be!"

"Thank you," Jungkook uttered and felt a big weight lifted from his chest. He could feel his ears were blushing and he silently hoped she'll never notice.

"Anytime," she beamed at him.

Then, someone from her back spoke, "Hey, stupid."

Jisoo automatically turned to look at who it was.

Then, her face brightened.

"Oh, you're here already?" she looked up to his towering height, all her attention towards him, "That was quick. Did you escape there?"

"I finished early, idiot," he told her and knocked the top of her head softly and jokingly.

"You closed the store alone? I told you to wait for me," he reprimanded while he rested his hand on her head, looking down in her direction.

"It's fine!" Jisoo removed his hand from her head but did not let go of it, "Jungkook helped me," she suddenly faced him and it was the man just noticed his presence now.

"Uh," he felt awkward but still introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Jungkook."

He looked at him from head to toe before answering with a nod, "Taehyung."

"Don't scare him," Jisoo said to Taehyung while glancing at him.

"I'm not?" his forehead creased.

"You are," she insisted.

"Maybe you didn't take damage in the stairs because you are so hard-headed," he said to her.

"Pft," Jisoo almost giggled before frowning, "Hey, that joke is not funny."

"Yeah? But you laughed," Taehyung smirked at her.

"Not until I realized I was the one being made fun of! Hmp!" she puffed her cheeks.

Taehyung poked her cheek to burst it, "You're dramatic."

"And you're cranky," she retorted.

He was taken aback and looked at her with a mixture of amusement and disbelief, "Wow, look at you being brave."

"Heh," Jisoo smiled smugly, "I'm awesome, right?" she proudly said.

Jungkook on the sidelines stood quiet as he usually does. Silence is comfort for him. But for the first time, that silence pinched something inside.

And then that hit him, as he watched them.

She has always been beautiful, lovely...

Heck, even magical.

He knew that, the moment he saw her.

"Let's get your stubborn ass home," Taehyung told Jisoo.

"Aw, let's buy skewers first," she complained.

"You mean I buy skewers?" he asked and raised a brow.

"Well, you're rich," she guffawed loudly, like she's wearing her heart on her sleeve.

Then, she kind of remembered that he was still there, "Oh, uhm, Jungkook, we'll get going now?" she politely said to him.

"Ah, sure," he smiled at them, "I'm going home, anyway."

"Okay, bye-bye! Take care!" she said and smiled at him while waving.

"You too," he waved back before Taehyung pulled her by the wrist as they walked away.

Ah, really, she has always been beautiful... Lovely, and even magical.

And he definitely knew that, the moment he saw her.

But when she is with him...

She becomes a different kind of beautiful.

One which reminds him to look from afar. That there is a line drawn in between them.

A line to keep a safe distance, like staring at a painting in a museum.

A few steps away, only allowed to continue admiring it.

And a constant reminder that he— he's not part of the picture.

Jungkook took the opposite path, their backs on each other as they walked apart. And every step he makes, just adds a crack to his shutter's lenses.

That day, he saw something different.

It was still fascinating to look at but somehow...

He wished he didn't see.

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