"LET'S get you out of here," Taehyung walked towards her and extended his hand. Jisoo just stared at him, her expression is hard to read. He felt a pang in his chest. It feels like his nightmares are coming true.

She did not reach to accept his offered hand.

He gulped. He closed his cold hand into a fist to prevent it from trembling. He did not want her to notice it so he took the initiative and held her arm loosely, like she could slip away any moment.

Even if she doesn't want him touching her anymore, he needs to get her out of the peering eyes of everyone. It is very dangerous for her.

No one was speaking between them as they almost reached the pathway to the roadside. It is already dark in the evening, he is not sure what time it is already. The place is surrounded by trees and shrubs with no nearby lamp posts so it is harder to see the surroundings.

Taehyung was absorbed in his thoughts and battling with himself until she stopped walking, making him halt in his tracks too. His back is facing her. His hand is still gripping loosely by her wrist.

"What's this place, Taehyung?" Jisoo asked.

He is afraid to look back.

He can't. He cannot afford to look at her.

Because he feels it.

Something changed.

He bit on his tongue before he tried to walk again, "It's dark, you need to go home," he whispered in a hush tone.

Yet before he could take another step...

She pulled her arm from his hold.

The force sent a burning feeling to him. It stung. It stung so hard that he could actually feel it physically. The ache in his chest made it hard for him to breathe.

Taehyung felt his world stop. Slowly, he looked back towards her.

And there it was... His nightmare.

Jisoo raised her eyes to meet his, "What's this place, Taehyung?" she repeated in a cold tone.

It echoed inside his head, he held his right arm firmly. He should not be shaking right now. Why is he shaking? She's just asking a question. Of course she would...

But what is he so frightened about?

Her eyes searched his hooded orbs but he did not answer. He cannot answer. Not yet, not this time. He just couldn't. He wasn't ready.

This is the very thing he is running away from.

He opened his mouth, "How did you get here?" Taehyung softly asks, with no strength in his voice, diverting the topic.

"I followed you earlier," Jisoo answered right away.

"I thought you understood," his voice was gradually getting lower, "I don't want you to look for me," he uttered in a quiet manner.

But it surprised him.

Because it seems to have pulled her trigger.

Something in her... Something in her snapped by what he said.

Jisoo laughed deliriously, "Easy for you," she spitefully mumbled.

"You leave whenever you want," she added.

Taehyung averted his eyes. He cannot bear staring at her expression right now. Her voice is laced with betrayal which tore him inside.

"Do you have any idea of what you got yourself into? This place is full of hoodlums and criminals! You saw it, right? This is not safe!" she raised her quivering voice. Taehyung closed his eyes and flinched as he listened to her.

"You should not be here," he just said and took a step forward to her.

But she backed away instantly, "Then why are you here?"

Taehyung went silent for a minute. He cannot answer that, either.

Why is he here? He also doesn't know why.

Maybe it's a little somewhere along the lines of he wants to escape or he wants to die.

The words, however, are stubborn. He can't get them out of his lips. It's clawing down his throat, making it both harder to speak and breathe.

He just wants to drop the topic.

"None of your business," he looked down on the ground. His voice is quieter now, afraid of cracking up if he speaks louder.

Jisoo, though, just won't let the matter go.

"No," she firmly stated. "Tell me," her eyes tried to catch his gaze but failed to, "Have you been staying here the past week? Why are you here?"

"If you are aware of every bad thing about this place, why are you in this place?" she continued but he kept on ignoring her.

"I'll take you home," he uttered, a little desperately as he reached for her hand again.

Yet she took another step back.

They were only a foot away but she felt like a whole world apart.

And it pierced him more. Taehyung finds it harder to calm down and not tremble under sight.

Every time she moves a step away from him, he feels as if he is holding onto sand so hopelessly... He knows it will slip away, she will slip away— but he refuses to let go.

Ah, his selfishness.

He knew all this but why is that...

"I am not going anywhere until you tell me!" Jisoo yelled, her voice cracking now, "I want to know, why?"

Taehyung remained bowed down. Unmoving. She took it as a signal to go on.

"Why did you suddenly disappear without a trace? You didn't even bid me goodbye. You didn't at least give me a warning," she confessed, her voice sounded so hurt he almost covered his ears to not hear.

"Hey, I think I wanna eat ice cream with you, ride a bike for a day and then just get out of your life?" Jisoo said sarcastically, her hand waving as she told him.

"Do you know how I felt when you did that?" she stared at Taehyung.

"I was thinking, what happened? Did I do something wrong? Is he okay? Is he alone? Is he hurting himself again? What if something bad already happened? What am I gonna do? Was it me? Why did he leave like that? Will I ever see him again? Did I lose another person? So many thoughts were running through me."

And there it was...

She broke down.

She started crying.

"And then you drop something by my house. I was relieved. I told myself, he's okay. He'll come back. He left something... He's coming back, okay. He's coming back. I denied it, even when I felt like you wouldn't. I know you won't. If I wasn't here tonight... You won't," she combed her hair with her hand as she continued crying.

"I want to understand you... So bad..." she added, now in a slight whisper.

"But what is this place, Taehyung?" she gestured towards the building, "What are you doing here?" she asked again.

His hands are in a fist, quivering a little.

"I'm better off here," he told her.

Jisoo washed her hands over her face, "Have you seen yourself? You became thinner, I'm sure you're barely eating. Look at your eyes, have you gotten proper sleep?" she motioned to him.

"And God, let's not start with what happened earlier! The guy is seriously trying to kill you! Everyone else is cheering! What if it went worse?!" she exclaimed.

"Let's not talk about this," Taehyung's hand gripped his hair.

"Not talk, really? Are we going back to square one?" Jisoo asked him and stepped closer. He ended up looking at her.

"I thought you said, you're leaving the creaks open for me?" she's still crying as she pointed to herself.

"But why does it feel like you're closing up more?" she sobbed, "It feels like you're disappearing on me."

Taehyung turned away from her. He covered his face with his hands and caught his breath. His shaking worsened.

Her crying image haunted him.

"Shut up," he uttered so low, she must have not heard it.

"I just want you to answer me, make me understand," Jisoo continued while walking towards his back, "Because I honestly cannot understand you anymore."

"Just shut up," he repeated. His hands fisted on his hair. His breathing is rigid as he avoids facing her way.

"You're shutting me off again! Why are you running away?" she insisted.

"Please stop," he said again...

More to himself than to her.

"No. Not until you tell me why you almost get yourself killed out there!" she snapped back and that made him lose it.

"I DON'T WANNA GET USED TO YOU!" he yelled and faced her.

Taehyung's eyes dilated in frustration and emotions surged in him. All his pent up feelings came rushing down.

"See, this is what I am avoiding!" he motioned his hands exaggeratedly.

"I can't drop my fucking cigarettes, I can't sleep, I can't breathe, I can't do anything, I can't even eat, I can't function," he paced around agitatedly.

"I want to go to eat ice cream again, just like that day. I just want to ride the bike and go off to who the fuck knows where! I want to forget, I want to leave it all, I want to have things normally, do things normally without feeling a goddamn storm inside me wreaking havoc!" he took a deep breath.

"But I can't," Taehyung started bawling his eyes out. He shook his head and brushed his hand over his face, "Truth is, this has been a part of me even if I wanna change."

"You think I want this shit?!" he shouted, "No. I never asked for this. And you—"

"You make leaving all these things behind look so easy," he stared at her softly as his voice started cracking.

"But it's not," he continued. "I am trying."

"Fucking hell, I am!" he shouted and bit his lower lip, "But I'm just not moving any inch forward."

"Sometimes I get into this mood," he fumbled on his fingers, panicking in his voice as he explained, "I want to leave everything, everyone. I want to disappear."

"I told you I wanna die and it's not just a sudden desire to die. It's an overwhelming urge to die," Taehyung locked his eyes with hers, "I don't even know why I'm still here," he added and shook his head.

"I don't want to exist anymore, I need this to end," he slowly told her.

"But it feels like the tunnel I've been lost to all my fucking life is not ending! No matter how long I walk... There's just no way out," he hiccuped between his sobs, "That's why I wanted to stop existing."

"Maybe this will end by then," he said, "Maybe in death, I'd have my peace."

He started punching his chest, "This might be me for the rest of my life," he said crying, "I may be this bastard forever," he wiped the stains of tears on his face with his arm and sighed.

He needs to breathe properly, it is starting to suffocate him.

Jisoo tried to touch him. He backed away. He didn't give her a chance to speak. He looked up to her eyes.

"But then you came," he told her with gentleness in his voice.

"I met you," he added.

"And some days you make me forget that I want to die," he smiled to himself bitterly before shaking his head.

"But it's still here," he hit his head as he showed her.

"It's not leaving me, it's not leaving my head," he continued, "It's not going away," his cries started becoming louder again. He stared at his hands, visibly trembling so much.

He can't even feel them anymore. He can't even stop shaking.

Then he looked at her again before bending down and pulling his hair.

"But you... I know you would."

"You'll leave."

"You'll stay now but you'll get tired sooner."

"And I can never blame you if ever you do so," he held his breath, "Because who the fuck in their right mind will stay with a fucked up person like me?"

"All this time I'm just waiting for you to leave," he honestly admitted.

"Every time you say you'll stay," he sobbed and looked up at the starless sky, "I can't find it in me to feel assured with it."

"So I don't wanna get used to you," he bore through her teary orbs and licked his chapped lips.

"Even if it feels great, even if it feels the best, even if it feels like the most wonderful damn thing I've felt in so long, I don't want to get used to you," Taehyung chuckled darkly.

"Because I know one day you'll leave."

"And I'm afraid I cannot take it," he stared at her longingly.

As if he's already mourning her absence. As if he's already suffering from her departure. As if he's already missing her.

"I wanna lose you before I can't, anymore."

Jisoo paused, everything he said struck her.

Seeing him terrified like this, breaks her heart.

She ran to him and gently cupped his face. She started crying together with him, "I'm sorry," she whispered and tiptoed to cling her arms on his neck.

"I'm a slave to my demons, they feel so real. On days when I feel lonely, they cradle me in their loud screams," Jisoo started gently wiping his tears. She held the back of his head and rubbed it lightly.

She calmed down her hiccups because she needs to be strong.

Taehyung continued mumbling, pouring everything to her, "And it's fucked up because for the longest time I've been with them, sometimes when they strangle me it's the closest to hugs I've ever had."

"I say I wanna escape my reality here but when I sleep it's only nightmares welcoming me. I don't fucking know what am I supposed to do," she placed his head on her shoulder and he snuggled on the crook of her neck instantly.

"I'm sorry, I thought I knew it already," Jisoo whispered to his ear, "I was too worried, I forgot to be sensitive enough and got blinded by my emotions. I'm sorry. This is my fault. I should've known."

"No," Taehyung gripped on her clothes. She felt him shaking his head.

"You're the only good thing happening to me now," he told her.

Yet he added, "But I'm not sure until when I'm gonna have you here."

"I'm sorry," Jisoo said again and made him face her. She searched in his eyes as she held his face. He is still crying silently.

"You don't have to force yourself to change overnight, okay?" she caressed his cheek and smiled a little.

"I'll take half the burden," she told him and placed her forehead on his.

He stared at her quietly.

"Whenever you feel like it's too much, I'll take some of what's weighing you down," she stared back at him.

"Or if you get suffocated, I'll remind you how to breathe," she wiped his tears.

"When there are days I cannot get you, make me understand," she smiled wider, "Or if you're also confused, we'll figure it out together."

He cried more, now even audible and she laughed a little. She felt him gripping on her tighter and moving closer.

"I just told you I don't wanna get used to you," he said.

"And I'm saying you can get used to me," Jisoo made sure that he looked into her eyes, "I'm here to remind you that I'm staying."

She leaned closer to him, "Every day, okay? Every day I'll assure you, I'm not going anywhere," she affirmed.

"So whenever you want to disappear again, tell me—" Jisoo slowly took a hold of his hand. Taehyung looked down at their hands as she intertwined their fingers.

Something in him calmed down. Like a storm just passed by the oceans. Now the waves are tranquil and silent.

His eyes went back to her orbs and he met her teary-eyed gazes.

She smiled.

"I'll be waiting for you."

He can't help but to start crying again. She continued wiping his tears even if it's futile.

"Why are you doing all this?" he whispered weakly.

"Because... I... I remember—"

Before she could finish her sentence, a voice interrupted them.

"Hey Taehyung! What was that freaking movie scene..." the guy stopped his laugh and didn't complete what he was supposed to say when he noticed the person Taehyung is with.

They tried to fix themselves quickly as they both looked to the direction of the voice.

"Jisoo?!"

"Seokjin?!"

The two said in unison.

Taehyung was dumbfounded, "You know each other?"

Suga raised a brow and watched the drama from behind, he just puffed a smoke beside Jin, observing them and not saying anything. They saw a bit of the fight earlier and went to search for Taehyung inside to ask what happened but they figured he must have gone outside so here they are.

Well, to say they were surprised by what they are seeing is an understatement.

"Yes. He is my cousin!" Jisoo happily answered but her smile instantly vanished when she realized something.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" she squinted her eyes at Jin. Good thing it is dim in their location that they cannot easily notice how puffed her eyes are. Even Taehyung is still reddish from crying.

It helped that everyone is shocked and baffled by the moment, too.

"What am I doing here? No. What are YOU doing here, huh? Since when did you have interests in illegal fights?" Jin fired back.

"Illegal what—"

"She's going home," Taehyung grabbed Jisoo because he didn't want her to discover more of this dark place. Everyone who knows something about here gets tied in the place. It will not be good for her.

Plus, the situation is starting to get awkward and complicated.

"Dude, where the hell are you taking my cousin?" Jin stopped them in their tracks.

He clicked his tongue and stared at Taehyung seriously, "Look, I think you're less of a jackass than those pieces of shits inside but no, I don't want her going with you."

"Seokjin..." Jisoo tried to intervene but was hushed right away.

"Young lady, we're not done with you being here," Jin faced her with hands on his waist.

"Does Uncle know this?" she tilted her head and questioned him.

"Well..." Jin paused and creased his forehead, "That's not the point here!"

"It is. You're here also so isn't that bad, too?" she told him.

"I like her," Suga smirked as he puffed his cigar again. Taehyung quickly waved off the smoke and covered Jisoo's nose.

Jisoo, however, removed his hand and replied, "Oh, I like you too," she smiled innocently thinking it's friendly.

"The fuck?" Taehyung looked at her in betrayal as Suga shrugged and chuckled, shaking his head. Things became a lot interesting, he was quite entertained.

"What?" Jisoo blinked her eyes at him, "Is he your friend?"

"Seriously, Jisoo, you need to be sent home," Jin interrupted, "We're not over here yet," he added.

"Dude you gotta finish this little corny show here. You're fight's up next," Suga suddenly said and stretched his arms.

"Fight? What fight?" Jisoo took a step closer to Jin but he started taking steps backwards.

"Okay Taehyung, take her home," he said, giving the latter a thumbs up.

"Wait—" Taehyung took the chance and pulled the back of her hoodie.

"You're not getting off the hook bastard, make sure she'd not get scratched the slightest or you and I will have problems," he warned Taehyung and gestured with his hand slitting his neck.

"Now you're sending me off!" Jisoo complained as she was getting pulled away from the scene.

"We'll talk soon!" Jin yelled, their distance growing, "Go the goddamn hell home, please."

Jisoo struggled to insist and answer but Taehyung dragged her firmly, "Let's go."

They rode a bus passing by the road and took the seats at the back. She sat beside the window and him just beside the aisle. They became silent.

A lot happened in a matter of seconds.

"Hey," Taehyung got her attention, "Stupidiot?"

"Hm?" she glanced at him.

"Don't ever risk yourself like that again," his hand found hers and he started playing with it, "Especially for me," he whispered.

Jisoo smiled and tapped him to look at her, "If you don't want me to, stop that underground thing of yours."

"I can understand your issues or anything," she started, "But I'll never let you put yourself in danger like that again, okay?" she gently told him.

"It's not good for both of our health," Jisoo joked and laughed, "Like seriously, earlier was... I swear, I felt so nervous my heart almost burst in tension and fear. God, I don't even wanna remember what I saw."

"I feel like I'm taking your punches," she added, "I cannot watch you fight again."

"That's all I ask of you," Jisoo combed his messy hair with her hand, "Don't hurt yourself, please."

Taehyung wanted to say yes but he knew it would be hard. His tendencies are not easy to suppress.

So instead, he said, "I'll try."

She smiled warmly at him, "Thank you."

He melted beside her and snuggled to her neck. Jisoo held his head softly and adjusted it in place.

"Sleep now, I know you're exhausted," she whispered to him as he closed his eyes.

Jisoo started humming a familiar song and surprisingly, he managed to sleep.

She was all he never thought he'd have.

But he sure needed.

For the whole ride, he did not have a nightmare. Even as he slept in his house after taking her home, he did not experience a nightmare.

For the first time...

He just dreamt of her.

And it was the most beautiful dream he had.