Chapter 10: Hush

TRIGGER WARNING:
blood, self-harm, violence

This chapter includes some inappropriate/triggering events that may cause discomfort to some readers. Please proceed with caution.

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"You steady me and stir me all at once." -Butterflies Rising

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HOUSE NO. 45

Jisoo stopped in front of a black gate. She looked at the picture Hoseok sent her and the house in front of her.

It's here, she said to herself.

She quickly pressed the doorbell hoping that someone would l open the gate but after minutes, no one answered her.

She tried to peep on the gap of the gate and she saw that the house was dark with curtains covering the windows. Jisoo tried to press the doorbell again but no one was answering.

"Hello?! Taehyung?! It's me! Jisoo!" she was shouting so that if Taehyung is inside, he will hear her.

Minutes passed and she didn't notice that she was waiting there for almost half an hour. She puffed an air and turned her back from his house. Jisoo checked if Taehyung replied to her but he still hasn't responded.

Exhausted, she leaned towards the gate's door only to stumble backwards because it wasn't even locked, "Uhm, hello? Anyone in here?" Jisoo stood properly and gazed around the place.

The patio of the house is surrounded by plants, only that the flowers are starting to wither. Obviously, he doesn't take care of the small garden around. Jisoo climbed his front porch. She checked the big windows but because of the curtains, she cannot see through inside.

Jisoo was doubting whether she should really enter his premises or if she should stay outside waiting at the gates. It felt like she was invading his home because no one gave her permission plus he promised Hoseok that she would just check on him.

Is he not here? She thought as she stared in front of the big doors.

Then, she heard a loud sound of something breaking inside, her heart thumped and she leaned her ear on the door to listen. It went silent again. She decided to knock.

"Taehyung? Are you there? Are you home?" she yelled and tried to peek between the door's gap but of course, it's impossible to see.

Since no one answered, she tried her luck to open the door because the gate is not locked. Maybe, the door too?

She slowly twisted the door knob. It is open again. She gulped, I guess I could just look shortly inside?

"Taehyung?" she peeped in. It was too dark even if it's daytime because of the curtains.

She tried to feel the switch on the wall beside her. Once she found it, she switched it on. The light bulb of his living area flickered, as if it's been a while since the last time it was used.

Jisoo gasped when she saw how messy the house was. There are broken shards of plates, glasses, vases and crumpled papers. The tables are flipped over, the couch too. The picture frames are on the floor and the pillows look like they are thrown away and stabbed by something.

Oh my god! Is he robbed?! She thought, mortified of what she saw.

"Taehyung? A-are you here?" her voice is trembling and so are her hands. She's starting to feel fear creeping on her chest. She tried to calm down by breathing slowly. Her worries skyrocketed.

She turned her head to a room on the other side, just opposite her. There is a faint light illuminating inside. It was followed by a loud banging, there was someone in there.

Jisoo gulped and slowly walked to the room avoiding the broken shards and other things she might step on the way. When she was near the room, the sound became louder and when she finally looked inside, she saw the back of a man punching the wall continuously.

Taehyung!

She was quick on her feet and reacted, "Hey, hey, stop that!"

Jisoo ran to him and tried to stop him from punching the wall but it seems like he is not hearing anything. She wasn't sure if he was even aware that she was there.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Die! Die! You fucking piece of shit! Argh!" he was repeating this over and over, glaring at the wall and still punching it. His mind is closed and he is too absorbed into something. His eyes are dilating in anger and his fist is bleeding but he seems to be numb to even care.

"Taehyung stop! Calm down! Calm down, Taehyung!" Jisoo tried to catch his hand and stop him but Taehyung unconsciously shoved her away making her fall back on the floor.

Her arm was wounded by a broken glass but Jisoo didn't even think about that. She didn't feel the scratch and just stared at him with wide eyes.

What should I do? She started panicking. She gasped when Taehyung started to hit his head on the wall.

Jisoo stood abruptly and hugged him from the back with all her might, "Please Taehyung, stop it. Calm down, I'm here okay? Calm down, Taehyung. You're hurting yourself, please," she whispered to him despite the difficulty of hugging him since he is still hitting the wall.

She reached for his hand and tried to get a hold of it, or even his head to stop him from further doing it but he is strong. She cannot stop him. Her tears welled up.

"Taehyung, I am here, calm down. You're not alone okay? You're not alone," Jisoo was still hugging him as he slowly lost his strength but his fist remained at its position on the wall. His head was bowed down.

His shoulders were trembling and so were her hands but she stayed hugging him tight. She closed her eyes and remained there. She heard his soft and silent sobs while he was catching his breath. They remained like that for a minute or two until Taehyung shouted in pain.

"Taehyung? Taehyung, what's happening?" Jisoo let go of him as he dropped down on the floor. He is pulling his hair and his eyes start bawling tears. He started writhing in pain.

"Aaaah! Shit! Shit!" He dropped on his knees, groaning as he shouted to the floor, crouching.

Jisoo didn't know what to do. She is afraid that she might do something wrong but she doesn't want to stand there and watch him in pain.

"Oh My God... Taehyung... What's it? What should I do?" she bent down and was weary to approach him. Her hands were shaking as she contemplated whether to touch him or not.

"Tell me, what can I do?" her voice was gentle and she tried her best not to quiver. She tried to catch his eyes as she looked at his face.

"L-let's go to the hospital? I... I need to call someone t-to help," she breathed slowly as she grabbed her phone from her pocket. She was controlling her nerves to type properly.

"You need to get help... I-I'm calling help! Hang in there Taehyung, okay? Wait... Wait up," Jisoo leaned down and fumbled on her phone. She cannot think straight. Taehyung remained looking down while holding his head and catching his breath.

"Wait, I'm gonna ask for someone," she cannot type properly and Jisoo stood up. She decided to just call someone outside because it might take others long. Plus, who should she call?

She was about to run outside when Taehyung held her by her arm at the last minute. She halted and looked at him, "W-what? What is it-"

"S-stay..." his voice was hoarse as he pleaded. Her eyes widened and her mind went blank for a second until she slowly went to kneel in front of him.

"B-but what am I gonna do? Y-you need help... I-I'll come back, o-okay? We need someone who-" she didn't finish her sentence when Taehyung grabbed her and hugged her tight, he placed his head on the crook of her neck.

She felt his tears wetting her shoulder. His tears felt hot in the skin as if it burned her and it brought her straight back into thinking. She felt every tremble of his body as if he was breaking into pieces, literally. His sobs and hiccups were torture, she felt her heart being squeezed.

He held onto her like his life depended on it.

"I... I can hear it again," he whispered, "T-the melody, the terrifying sound. T-there were cries... The c-cries and gunshots... Everything," he continued, each word making him hug her tighter.

"It's on my mind, it's playing again-over and over. T-they are here. They are w-watching me. They are... Demons. They have no heart... Evil, they are... Evil," he cried. She touched his hair gently.

"They are laughing... The demons are louder! T-they are laughing at me. They are... They are back inside my head-my demons are b-back and they are stronger than before," Taehyung added as he pulled her closer.

It was not like he was telling this to her, no. He is just letting it all out and she happened to be there to listen. He needed to be heard and so she did. She heard him out.

Jisoo was honestly confused about what he was saying. Up until now, she still hasn't heard of the whole story so she doesn't know what to say in order to offer a bit of comfort but she hugged him back.

She held him in her gentle arms, tighter, hoping that it could calm him down. The least she could do is to remind him that he can find strength in her.

"They are back! They know I'm alone! They are making me pay for what I did, it's my fault-they are laughing at me. The music, it's loud, I don't wanna hear it anymore! I can't-aaahhh!" Taehyung suddenly gripped his hair harder and backed away from her in panic, he gritted in pain.

When he looked up, she saw his tears cascading down his cheeks while his eyes were closed. Taehyung was punching his head while crying. He keeps on hitting himself harshly.

Jisoo rushed to him to stop him. She caught his hands and put them down. She gently cupped his face, "Taehyung, listen to me. Come on, hey... Look at me, Taehyung, look at me, I'm here!"

She tried her best to get through him. After a few tries, she caught his gaze and slowly opened his eyes.

The eyes in front of her are like an empty urn. An urn who has already poured all of him out to the point where he cannot pour even a drop anymore. He was drained and burnt out all at the same time.

Behind his glares and blank stares are eyes begging for someone to look in them and lend a hand.

She caressed his face gently, "Don't listen to them, okay? It's not your fault. The voices in your head are not real," she spoke to him slowly and she inched closer to him little by little, testing waters to avoid triggering him more.

"You'll listen to me okay? Just listen to me and ignore them, they are wrong. It's okay, it's not your fault, come here," Taehyung's breath was slowly becoming normal but his eyes were still shedding silent tears.

He cautiously let his guard down. While shaking, he moved near her, his hands remained gripping his hair. They were balled into fists. He leaned to her and she welcomed him in her arms.

Jisoo carefully removed his fists on his head and she held his cold, bruised hands. Taehyung closed his eyes, trying to calm himself but still flinching from the voices in his head.

She hugged him tightly. Taehyung rested his head on her lap. He laid down quietly, still displaced all over. He gripped her clothes to prevent him from lashing out again.

The voices are still there, the images... They were mad, they were in chaos, they were scary. But suddenly, they were overpowered by a harmony coming from a voice that mimicked an angel and started singing softly.

"Lift your head, baby, don't be scared," a gentle touch combed his hair, "Of the things that could go wrong along the way..."

As if it was the first dawn in his dark world, the dark clouds in his mind parted. It suddenly became radio silent. It shut his demons silent. His head only welcomes her loving voice. The soft melody calmed the chaos in him.

"You'll get by with a smile," she continued to lull him, "You can't win at everything but you can try..."

She hummed the melody while still running her fingers through his hair. The soft touch was so serene that he felt his eyes getting heavy and slowly, he closed them. He fell into a deep slumber.

Taehyung felt at peace after a long time of suffering under a storm. After years of walking, being lost in a desert, he finally found his oasis- a drop of water in the midst of his dehydration. It soothed him from within.

That day, her melody saved him from the demons that were killing him. He didn't expect that someone could render them silent. And he never expected it was her. But what can he really expect?

She is the only one who can enter his dark world.

-

TAEHYUNG slowly opened his eyes feeling lighter than ever. Much to his surprise, he also didn't experience a nightmare that is very bizarre. For years, he had always dreamed about the tragedy that happened five years ago. He went to therapies for months but none seemed to help so he stopped and soon left, too.

The sun ray hit him in the face, he grimaced. He suddenly felt a heavy load on his arm. When his vision adjusted, he saw Jisoo peacefully sleeping by his side.

What the fuck? He thought and then examined both of them.

Good, still on clothes, he sighed in relief and laid down again. He stared at her.

He tucked a strand of hair on her face, She looks more innocent when she is sleeping... Wait- why is she here?

Then it all came hitting him like a bullet train. He remembered what happened yesterday. Her sudden appearance, her hug and her voice. She saw him once more in his pathetic devastated state.

He looked at her again. Until now, he still can't figure out why she is doing all of this. Because if this is a trap of luring him in, then she is slowly succeeding. He is now letting himself fall into this trap.

He finally noticed that he was hugging her but he didn't want to let go. Why, though? She's still asleep, it wouldn't matter.

Taehyung caressed her cheek gently, his hand just moved on its own. It was like he was under a spell. He didn't realize how long it was until Jisoo opened her eyes and met his gaze.

Taehyung panicked and was about to shout at her and deny that he is staring at her like a creep when she suddenly smiled so brightly, it rendered him silent and made him gawk at her for the nth time.

He knew that her smile is really something but seeing it up close is very breathtaking.

"Goodmorning Taehyungie, did you sleep well?" her voice was so gentle it can hush thunders. He struggled to find his voice at that moment.

"Yeah. I think so," he looked away from her and coughed, "What are you doing here? You're taking advantage of my situation huh," he faked a glare at her.

Usually, his glares are natural but when it comes to her it is mostly his pride that pushes him to do it. He doesn't want her to think that he is soft. No, definitely not.

"But who's the one hugging me now?" Jisoo teased him and laughed at him.

Horrified of her accusation, Taehyung suddenly removed his hand around her waist and pushed her, making her fall from his small bed. He sat straight and breathed to calm his beating heart.

"Aw!" she cried, "Was that necessary, you bully? You're too hot headed, I was just joking. Have some humor," she furrowed her brows and gave the softest glare he has ever seen. Jisoo put her chin on the bed and pouted.

Holy shit, it's that pout again.

"Stop making yourself look a lot more stupid," Taehyung threw a pillow straight on her face. She yelped.

"Bad! You're a bully!" she complained and fixed her messy hair. She gave him a stare.

"It's too early to be grumpy. Come on! Put on some smileeee!" she smirked and that scared him. She has something under her sleeves again. Taehyung backed away a bit.

Jisoo climbed up on the bed and cupped his face then stretched his cheeks forcefully for a smile, "Show some mercy to your teeth and let them see the light!" she giggled.

Taehyung held her hands and glared at her. He removed them from his face before speaking, "You're so fucking annoying, don't you remember that I punch girls, huh?"

Jisoo's eyes suddenly widened and cupped her face. She put her hand above her head as if trying to protect it, "Not today! I don't have a helmet with me!" she closed her eyes like she was expecting him to hit her.

Since she's not looking, a small smile almost escaped Taehyung's lips but he stopped soon enough. He shook his head to get him back to his senses. He tilted his gaze while observing her for a few seconds.

Taehyung moved to her and flicked her forehead, "Stupidiot."

Jisoo opened her eyes one by one and then smiled at him brightly.

Ah, there she goes again with that smile.

Taehyung stared at it for over minute before he looked away and started pretending that he is irritated again so he pushed Jisoo to stand up, "Cook for me so that you'll have atleast a purpose aside from being stupid."

Jisoo laughed and cheerfully stood up, jumping on her feet, "Okay, what do you want for breakfast?" she asked.

"Anything edible," Taehyung opened his arms and dropped himself on the bed again.

"Oki doki, I'm gonna use your kitchen and supplies okay? I'll be back after cooking," he did not answer until he heard her footsteps and her humming as she left the room.

Taehyung stared at the ceiling. Confused by the foreign feelings he is experiencing right now. There is something about her that he can't think of but he really can't stop her from entering his life. She suddenly barged in and little by little, she's turning his world upside down.

So she really tamed me huh, he held his chest.

He is starting to feel happy and that alone terrifies him.

"Ah, fucking shit!" he cursed under his breath and covered his eyes with his arm.

What the hell are you doing to me?

He knew that her smile is really something but seeing it up close is very breathtaking.

"Goodmorning Taehyungie, did you sleep well?" her voice was so gentle it can hush thunders. He struggled to find his voice at that moment.

"Yeah. I think so," he looked away from her and coughed, "What are you doing here? You're taking advantage of my situation huh," he faked a glare at her.

Usually, his glares are natural but when it comes to her it is mostly his pride that pushes him to do it. He doesn't want her to think that he is soft. No, definitely not.

"But who's the one hugging me now?" Jisoo teased him and laughed at him.

Horrified of her accusation, Taehyung suddenly removed his hand around her waist and pushed her, making her fall from his small bed. He sat straight and breathed to calm his beating heart.

"Aw!" she cried, "Was that necessary, you bully? You're too hot headed, I was just joking. Have some humor," she furrowed her brows and gave the softest glare he has ever seen. Jisoo put her chin on the bed and pouted.

Holy shit, it's that pout again.

"Stop making yourself look a lot more stupid," Taehyung threw a pillow straight on her face. She yelped.

"Bad! You're a bully!" she complained and fixed her messy hair. She gave him a stare.

"It's too early to be grumpy. Come on! Put some smileeee!" she smirked and that scared him. She has something under her sleeves again. Taehyung backed away a bit.

Jisoo climbed up on the bed and cupped his face then stretched his cheeks forcefully for a smile, "Show some mercy to your teeth and let them see the light!" she giggled.

Taehyung held her hands and glared at her. He removed them from his face before speaking, "You're so fucking annoying, don't you remember that I punch girls, huh?"

Jisoo's eyes suddenly widen and cupped her face. She put her hand above her head as if trying to protect it, "Not today! I don't have a helmet with me!" she closed her eyes like she was expecting him to hit her.

Since she's not looking, a small smile almost escaped Taehyung's lips but he stopped soon enough. He shook his head to get him back to his senses. He tilted his gaze while observing her for few seconds.

Taehyung moved to her and flicked her forehead, "Stupidiot."

Jisoo opened her eyes one by one and then smiled at him brightly.

Ah, there she goes again with that smile.

Taehyung stared at it for over minute before he looked away and started pretending that he is irritated again so he pushed Jisoo to stand up, "Cook for me so that you'll have atleast a purpose aside from being stupid."

Jisoo laughed and cheerfully stood up, jumping on her feet, "Okay, what do you want for breakfast?" she asked.

"Anything edible," Taehyung opened his arms and dropped his self on the bed again.

"Oki doki, I'm gonna use your kitchen and supplies okay? I'll be back after cooking," he did not answer until he heard her footsteps and her humming as she leave the room.

Taehyung stared at the ceiling. Confused of the foreign feelings he is experiencing right now. There is something about her that he can't think of but he really can't stop her from entering his life. She suddenly barge in and little by little, she's turning his world upside down.

So she really tamed me huh, he held his chest.

He is starting to feel happy and that alone, terrifies him.

"Ah, fucking shit!" he cursed under his breath and covered his eyes with his arm.

What the hell are you doing to me?

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