doctor and patient

(trigger warning for caps lock and internalized homophobia)

(ok so this was inspired by an ao3 drabble thing that i liked: Ponytail by PAPERHATDUDE)

(go check it out if you're a fan of this sorta stuff!!!)

(edit from like a yr l8r: crazy how old my art looks at the top here lol. also i fixed the stupid thing where the story pasted twice. sry abt that)


Jonathan Crane is a busy man. He has no time for lollygagging or merrymaking with fellow employees or even bosses — he needs to get from Point A to Point B and pronto.

After his sixth cup of coffee that day, he finally had the energy to deal with one of his many coworkers. What makes this person different from the many other therapists, orderlies, and scientists at Arkham? Her name is Harleen Quinzel, and she constantly acts like she's on a diet of sugary energy drinks.

"Hey there, Doctah Crane!" Harleen greeted cheerfully, grinning so wide her cheeks could burst. She ruffled his hair, which was already tangled and dirty, much to Jonathan's disgruntlement. "How's tha wife?"

Jon grumbled. "Nonexistent."

Harleen burst out laughing, clutching her sides and dipping her head. "I know that, Jonny Boy! But ya patient, Mistah N... yer always makin' goo-goo eyes! Might as well be ya wife."

Jon's eyes widened in annoyance and surprise. He did not make goo-goo eyes at any of his patients, let alone... a... a... another man.

Jon gripped his clipboard with one gloved hand and smoothed his hair the best he could with the other. "Whatever you say, Harleen. Speaking of, I've got a meeting with him today, and I mustn't be late," he droned, speedily walking away from her, down the hall and to his office.

He flopped into his seat tiredly and held his head in his hand. His clipboard was carelessly tossed to the side as he groaned and pondered about what Harleen said.

It was strange and completely untrue. He didn't think about Edward that often, except for when he was considering using him as a tester for his fear toxin experiments. Occasionally, he'd also think of him when he strategized. Edward Nygma is a notoriously ingenious villain — the Riddler — who sometimes works with Joker's posse. If John needed help with any of his plans, he was sure that Edward would have the same level of intellect—

Edward, dressed in the white Arkham uniform, shut the door of the office behind him and sat down in the chair, crossing his ankle over his knee casually.

"Hello, Jon."

Okay, Jon thought as he looked at Ed's face, maybe I think of him some.

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