A/N: Hey guys!

Pic above is what Taylor & Lacey's bracelet looks like.

Warning: This chapter might be intense, I won't say much but bullying is involved. You're going to learn Taylor's secret and about the bracelets. There is also a mini flashback.

Read on.
- - - - - - - -

Pounding.

That is what my head was doing.

Nausea.

That was the feeling in my stomach.

Weak.

That was my strength level.

Embarrassed.

Was how I was currently feeling.

I knew it was a bad idea to go to Chico's last night but I didn't give a shit. I was fully aware I should have at least told my parents I was leaving. Doing what I did last night was the stupidest thing ever. The sad part is I don't even remember every thing I did. I was hoping it was nothing bad or something that could get me into a ton of trouble. If I did do something, I will own up to whatever I did. I made a stupid quick second decision.

Plain and simple.

No going back now.

Waking up this morning wasn't easy. Poking my head out from the covers, I open my eyes and see the room is pitch black. Odd. The morning light usually peeks in through my curtains and makes my room lighter. This room was dark. Was it still night time? I was trying to rack my brain to see if any memories came back, but nothing. All I knew was this bed was super comfy and being snuggled up under the covers head to toe was the warmest feeling.

What exactly did I do last night?

Crap. What if I got kidnapped. I got pretty hammered it would have been easy for some creep to convince me to go with him. God, Taylor, what did you do? I kept asking myself this over and over, no answers came to me.

Mh heart rate picked up when I heard someone or something coming. They're coming to see if I'm awake. To avoid them seeing me I dove back underneath the covers. Please think I'm just a lump in your very comfy bed.

The steps got louder but didn't come anywhere near me or at least I didn't think they did. The steps sounded close but not close enough for them to be right in front of me.

Maybe they don't want to deal with me yet?

"Who's there?" I call out in fear.

Suddenly a light is flicked on and Nick Ross is standing over by his couch in his pjs. Red plaid lounge pants, a black t-shirt that did nothing but good things for his physique. His brown hair looked exactly like bedhead. I found myself wondering what it would feel like to run my fingers through it. He looked so good at the moment.

"You're awake." He says.

"Yeah." I whisper.

My head continues to pound even worse now with the harsh light on. I rub my temples to ease the pain. Seeing Nick standing there was bringing everything from last night back to me.

The shirt and note from Mrs.Foster. Driving to Chico's, ordering a beer and a round of shots. Drinking more beers, playing pool with some very creepy guys. Drinking more. I also remember Phillip showing up, we barely talked. I remember Nick showing up and going all Batman on Phillip because he thought Phillp was the one to do this to me.

A smile comes to my lips when I remember what happened when Nick and I got here to his house. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I was more than ready to go further but Nick being the gentleman he is he stopped. It was one of the things I liked about him, Nick Ross was a true gentleman.

I run my hands through my hair and something is wrong. So very wrong. It's gone. I look at my right wrist and my bracelet isn't there. Where is it? I pulled up my sleeve to see if it is there and it isn't. My bracelet is missing. I jump out of Nick's bed and start throwing his covers and pillows anywhere but on the bed.

Where is it?

Damn it.

"Taylor, what's wrong?" Nick asks concerned.

I don't reply, I barely even hear him. My heart is pounding so loud, I'm surprised he doesn't hear it.

After throwing everything off of the bed and not seeing it there I feel the tears start coming. They don't stop when I notice something lying on the floor between the bed and night stand. I crouch down to pick up not one but two pieces. The infinity charm was no longer connected to the chain.

It broke.

Every one warned me to stop playing with it or it would break. I being stubborn didn't listen. I tried so hard to break the habit but I couldn't. Playing with the bracelet was calming. Feeling the metal between my fingers was soothing. I played with it anytime I was nervous or scared. Whenever I thought about the person who gave it to me, I would fiddle with it. My bracelet was like my security blanket.

And now it was broken. Today of all days it decides to break. Three years and it was now broken. My heart ached and tears fell down my face.

I feel an arm being wrapped around my shoulder. I know its Nick. Who else would come near me in this state. I don't say anything to him. I just hold up my bracelet and show him. He stays quiet. Nick knows its important to me so he is aware of why I'm crying a river. But he needs to know it all.

"There is something I need to tell you." I whisper through my sobs.

"You don't have to." He says.

I shake my head, "No. I have to. You wanted to know the real me."

Nick nods. I get up and walk over to the couch, taking a seat while holding tightly onto my bracelet. Just because it is broken doesn't mean it still can't serve its purpose. Nick comes and sits a few inches from me. Smart move, keeping his distance.

I take a deep breath, "I'm going to tell you everything. Kids from school know the story but they don't know it all. People talk and the story changes. Now, it might take me a while to get it all out but I am telling you. If by the end you feel the same way I have for the past three years and never want to see me again. Then I will completely understand." I warn.

Nick takes my hand in his, "I already told you I wasn't going anywhere." He sounds honest.

"No, don't be so sure. Listen to what I have to say then make up your mind at the end. Okay?" I suggest.

"Okay." He agrees.

Okay Taylor. You can do this. Slow and steady.

"It wasn't always just Lacey and I. Fourth grade, a new girl moved to town and was in our class. Her name was Emily Foster. Blonde curly hair, blue eyes." I hear Nick let out a small gasp. I know he's figured out this girl is Phillip's sister. I nod to confirm then continue.

"Kids aren't very welcoming to new kids. Lacey and I decided to be better than those idiots. We asked Emily to be our friend, she accepted. The three of us became close pretty quick. Emily was so nice and so thoughtful. She brought the light with her wherever she went. On Fridays Emily would bring a chocolate pudding cup for Lacey and a tube of yogurt for me since I'm allergic to chocolate." Those memories cause me let out a laugh as well as Nick.

"Middle school came and us three were still a tight knit trio. Middle school is where you kind of start to realize yourself changing. Body and mind wise. Some kids were mean, others were stuck ups. Emily, Lacey and I stayed the same." I wipe a tear away.

Nick is the first person I've told this story to. The look on his face tells me he hates seeing me cry.

"High school came all to quick. We went from being the lead dogs in middle school to being at the bottom of the barrel over night. It's hard enough adjusting to a new school and upperclassmen without every one pointing it out. You do what you can to survive. Lacey and I wanted to join cheer, but Emily didn't. She told us to go for it. It's high school, a place to find yourself."

You can do this Tay.

Nick senses my hesitation to continue. He rubs his thumb over my hand in a calming way. The sensation gives me tingles. I push those feelings to the side. That is the last thing I need right now. I won't finish the story if I don't.

"Over the next few months Lacey and I got more into cheer. We had duties, we were expected to have a certain image, to be friends with certain people. Emily, she didn't quite fit in to that part of our lives but we stayed close. Since Lacey and I were occupied with cheer, Emily found other friends. These three girls who were juniors. They decided to take Emily under their wing, sort of like a protege." I pause to give Nick a second to process everything I've told him so far.

"It's sweet that you three stayed close even with other things or people getting in the way. Not many people would do that." He says with a small smile.

"You make an excellent point." I say wiping a tear from my eye.

"You've told me a lot so far. You can stop anytime you want." He offers my hand a light squeeze.

"No. I'm telling you it all." I say. Nick nods for me to go on.

"These girls weren't nice at all. They constantly hurt other kids. They liked to play games, I should say. Emily was their puppet and their punching bag."

"Did she ever tell you guys?" Nuck asks with worry.

"Yeah, she did. We told her to stop hanging out with those girls. To cut them out of her life. She did but those girls didn't like it. Not one bit. You don't stop hanging out with someone like those girls. They have all the right connections to make your life a living hell. And that is exactly what they did to Emily." I say quietly as new tears begin to fall.

"What happened?" Nick questions

That one memory is still so fresh in my mind. I've tried countless times to erase it but it refuses to leave. People talk about how they dread the day when their memories are gone. Happy memories is what they are referring to. But what about the bad ones? Nobody cares about those. If it were my choice I would choose to keep the good ones and forget the bad ones.

-Flashback-

Three years ago....

"Hey ladies. There is a party tomorrow being thrown by a senior and you both are invited." Our cheer captain tells Lacey and I.

"Really? That sounds like it could be fun!" Lacey exclaims.

"Yea. We are there." I confirm.

"Awesome. It starts at eight sharp. I'll text you the address." She informs then leaves.

Our first high school party. This is so freaking awesome!

Later that day we are all in my room discussing what outfits to wear to the party. Since it is such a big deal, it matters what we wear. We need to fit in.

"I can't believe tou guys got invited to a high school party." Emily laughs.

Her laugh is something I miss the most.

"Oh no. You are going with us." Lacey tells her.

"I wasn't invited." Emily frowns.

"So. I'm sure there will be tons of people there who aren't invited. You are coming." I command.

"For sure. It won't be fun if you aren't there, Em. We need to experience this together." Lacey encourages.

Emily thinks about it for a minute but soom agress with us.

Saturday night arrives and us three girls are all decked out in make-up and sparkly dresses. I'm pretty sure we've used two cans of hair spray.

We had Phillip, Emily's older brother drive us to the party since he was invited as well.

The party scene was insane. The middle school parties we went to were nothing compared to this scene. Red solo cups, people doing drugs, half naked people, and various scenes of PDA.

We weren't in middle school anymore, Toto.

"This is...wow." Emily tries to find the right words.

"I know." Lacey laughs.

"Taylor, Lacey, you made it!" Our cheer captain gushes when she sees us. She gives us both a quick hug. "Listen, there are some things we are doing in the backyard. Want to join?"

Lacey and I exchange looks then we look at Emily who is sipping from her cup.

"Um...can we pass. We came with our friend." I ask and nod my head towards Emily.

"Oh.."

"No. You two go. I'll be fine." Emily says.

"Are you sure?" Lacey asks.

"Yep. Go do your cheer stuff." Emily says and pushes us towards the back door exit.

We really should not have left her. We didn't know they would be there, planning their revenge. We should have stayed with her.

A few hours later, Lacey and I are on the dance floor when everyone's phone rings, dings, pings and sings at the exact same time.

We pull our phones out and there is a video. A very bad video. A very inappropriate video.

It was of Emily and some guy she had a crush on doing the dirty deed. They were having sex and someone video tapped it.

Next thing we know is Emily is running down stairs in her wrinkled dress and no shoes. Hair was a mess and her make-up smeared. She was crying. Emily was running out of the front door while guys and girls were calling her names no one should ever be called.

We heard laughter coming from the girls who sent the video. They got their revenge.

Lacey, Phillip and I ran outside to catch up with Emily but she wouldn't stop. She just kept running.

We also had to pull Phillip back from going inside to do something very stupid. I went inside to find my brother Xander who was at the party as well. He gave us a ride home since Phillip wasn't in the state to drive.

We were all silent on the way home. None of us knew what to say or what to do.

Emily's first time was taped and sent to the entire school. The worst part was the boy who slept with her knew what those girls were planning. He was in on it.

End of Flashback.

- - - - - -

"Oh my gosh." Nick exhales after I tell him about the party. "Those girls did that to her? Did they get punished or exiled to Antarctica?"

"Not just for that." I say looking at the floor.

Nick furrows his brows, "What else happened?"

Here goes nothing.

"On Sunday Lacey and I went over to Emily's house to check on her. Emily refused to talk to us. According to Phillip, she wasn't talking to anyone. Her parents just thought she was sick, but we did tell them the next day. Emily said she just needed space, some time to think. We should never have agreed." I can already feel my voice crackling.

"Christmas Eve came a few days later. Emily's parents went out to do some last minute shopping. Phillip was probably trying to keep himself from doing something he would regret. That night..." I stop and my sobs get uncontrollable.

"Did she?" Nicks asks.

I nod. "Her parents found her in her room that night."

"Taylor." Nick whispers and pulls me into a hug.

"Emily left a note saying she couldn't deal with the situation. Kids were calling her awful names online. She...she left her Christmas presents wrapped on her bed. There was one for her parents, Phillip, Lacey and myself." I cry. Nick rubs my back in comfort.

"Your bracelet. Is that the gift she left for you two?" Nick asks in a soft tone.

"Yeah. The notes she left Lacey and I said she bought them a week earlier. The infinity charm was a symbol for us staying friends through everything. Emily also mentioned that even now that she was gone, we would still be friends for infinity. She got herself one to and we put it on her at the funeral." I explain.

"I am so sorry." Nick says and I can tell he is holding his tears back. "What happened to the girls?" He asks.

"The school board found out what they did and kicked them out of school. They were also put on a 'No Acceptance' list in every school in Massechuesettes. I don't know where they are now." I inform.

"You said Phillip was her older brother but he's in the same grade as us." Nick mentions.

"After Emily died, Phillip went into a deep depression. He failed his sophomore year. Every class. The school held him back." I explain.

I recall days Phillip came to school hammered or doped up. He was suspended for a month.

"Now I know why your bracelet is so important to you. I'm so sorry you went through this." Nick says.

"You don't get it." I whisper.

"Get what?" He asks confused.

I get up off of the couch and start pacing around. "I'm the reason she's gone." I yell.

Nick's eyes go wide at my outburst, "I don't understand."

"Lacey and I. If...if we hadn't convinced her to come to the party she would still be here. If we hadn't left Emily by herself, she would not have gone with that boy. We weren't there to protect her. Lacey and I are the reason Emily isn't here." I say running my hands through my hair.

"No. You aren't the reason." Nick shakes his head.

"Yes. Yes, we are." I grit my teeth together.

Nick gets up and walks over to me, "No. It was those girls fault and all of those kids who thought it was funny to call her names. They bullied her. You and Lacey loved her."

"No. No. No. If we loved her we wouldn't have left her. We wouldn't have given her space. Haven't you been wondering why Lacey and I aren't talking at the moment?" I shout.

"I have but I didn't want to make you upset." Nick admits.

"Well, now you know. The only way to keep our friendship alive is to avoid each other during this time. We both know we are the reason she's gone. Lacey and I can't stand to look at one another right now. So we grieve separately." I confess.

When the first anniversary of Emily's death came, Lacey and I were constantly fighting over everything. One day at cheer practice Heather sat us down and suggested we take a break during that specific time. Not being able to think of another solution, we agreed.

After two weeks we go back to the way things were before. We never talked about it. And if we did, the conversations were very short. I know in these times we should want to stick together but we can't.

"I need to go. My parents are probably wondering where I am." I say.

"I called your mom from your phone this morning and told her what happened last night." Nick admits.

I freeze, "You told my mom?" I narrow my eyes.

"Yes. She didn't seem that surprised. Do you do this to yourself every year?" Nick asks.

"Don't judge me. I told you I have been giving my parents a hard time. I don't know how else to survive this time of year. My parents are no longer shocked." I scowl.

"You can't leave. There is four inches of snow out there. Let me at least drive you home." Nick suggests.

"Fine." I mumble.

All the way home we say nothing. I can sense Nick wanting to say something but I refuse to talk to him. He doesn't believe me. He doesn't understand. No one does. At least he knows now. My guess is the next time we see each other we will be back to being strangers. There is no way he will stick around now.

I'm to damaged.

No guy wants that.