I woke up Monday morning in a pretty good mood for two different reasons. One: we got enough snow for them to call school off for the day. Living in a state that is prone to a lot of snow, we tend to still go to school when said snow is on the ground. However, our school decided to give us the day off along with the other schools in the district. Reason number two was me realizing that I came very close to kissing Nick last night. Even though we didn't kiss my hopes were high that we could possibly try the whole kissing thing again.

Around eleven I was still chilling in my bed with a cup of orange juice and a strawberry pop-tart. I was in the middle of watching Pretty Little Liars when my phone started ringing.

I looked at it to see Lacey was requesting a Facetime. I slid the green arrow and replied, "Hey."

"Help me." Lacey pleaded with an annoyed expression on her face.

I couldn't help but chuckle at her expression, "Why, what's wrong?"

"My dad came over this morning and suggested that he spend the day with me and Henry." She groans. Henry is her seven year old brother.
"That sounds fun." I chime in.

"No, Taylor it isn't. We are at Chuck E. Cheese. There are little kids all around and they are screaming." She huffs.

Poor Lacey.

"I was playing ski ball when one kid came up to me and stole all of my tickets. I had my eye on a purple giraffe." She pouts.

"Aw. I'm sorry you're not enjoying your snow day." I return the pout.

"How are you spending your snow day?" Lacey asks changing the subject.

I exhale, "Watching Netflix and eating my weight in pop-tarts."

"Ugh lucky." She rolls her eyes. "Oh hey you never told me how your visit to the Ross house went yesterday." She raises a brow in a challenging manner.

I completely forgot I told Lacey I was going over there yesterday. She knew how upset I was and knew I would eventually go over there to make things right. So much happened yesterday that I forgot to give my bestie the details. Some friend I am.

"It went good." I say trying to hold back a smile.

Lacey gasps, "Taylor Croft you tell me what happened right now."

"He wasn't mad at me." I mumble. Lacey gives me a look to continue. "He has two little sisters who are super cute. And his parents are kind." I ramble on.

Lacey knows I am not telling her the whole story, "Come on Tay, you can say it. Something else went on. What is it?" She prys.

"We may have almost kissed...twice." I say quietly.

Lacey squeals, "No freaking way!"

"Its true." I blush.

"Taylor, you are blushing, its adorable. I told you, you like him. Don't even try to deny it now." She giggles.

"I do like him." I say but my smile falters when I look down at my bracelet on my right wrist.

"Are you going to go for it?" She questions.

I sigh in defeat, "No."

"What. Why?" Lacey asks with concern.

"I don't think this is the right time for me to be jumping into a relationship." I admit.

Lacey's expression changes from concern to understanding. She knows exactly what I am referring to. With what is coming up in the next couple of weeks a boyfriend is the last thing I need to add to the equation. It would have been easy if I were with Johnny, he knows what happened. But Nick, he is in the dark and I don't want to bring him into the light.

"I know. I told Logan that I only wanted to be friends. A boyfriend isn't a good idea for either of us right now. As much as we like them, we can't do that to them." Lacey sighs with sadness.

"Yeah."

Lacey and I end our Facetime a couple minutes after that. What was meant to be a light and fun conversation turned into sadness real quick. I couldn't help but notice how our moods are changing every day and pretty soon we won't even be talking until after the day comes. This was something Lacey and I did to help cope with what happened. It wasn't the best way to deal with it but it was all we could come up with if we wanted to save our friendship.

I got out of my bed to take my empty wrapper and cup to the kitchen. I looked outside to see a blanket of white. I loved the snow and I loved winter but I did not like December. For the past three years I always wish for time to skip to January but it never does.

I was heading to the fridge to find another snack when my phone rang again. I doubted it was Lacey, we won't talk for the rest of the day. We've already bummed each other out. A smile came across my face when I saw that it was Nick requesting a Facetime.

Sliding the arrow, "Hi." I greet.

"Hey. Enjoying your snow day?" He asks with a smile.

"Totally. I've eaten four pop-tarts already and its only 11:37 in the morning. You?" I ask.

"So far so good. But I do have a better idea." He said.

"I'm intrigued, go on." I say.

"Sledding." He simply says.

"I'm in." I nod.

"Good." He says.

"Where are we sledding?" I question.

"Charlie knows a great place with some killer hills, we are all going." He informs.

"Ah so since every one is going can I bring Carter along? My dad is at work and my mom is visiting Xander at college." I explain.

"Sure. Bring him along." Nick agrees.

"Awesome. Text me the location and we will see you soon." I suggest. Nick says okay and hangs up.

Alright, let's go sledding.

- - - - - - -

Once Carter and I got ready and texted our parents letting them know where would be, we were off to the location Nick had sent me. It didn't take me long to convince Carter to come with me, Carter loves sledding as well. And he was getting frustrated with his latest video game anyway.

The drive to the location took longer than I expected. My GPS told me we would be there in thirty minutes but with the traffic and snow, it added another twenty minutes to our commute. Plus I had to get gas.

Eventually we arrived to the location. What I thought was going to be some secret place that only Charlie knew about was incorrect. Turns out this place is pretty well known. I expected it to just be us here but there were many other people here to enjoy a day of sledding and other snow day activities. The view from the parking lot was promising. I could see several hills in various sizes and I also noticed a lodge.

Carter got out of the car first and I soon followed suit after sending Nick a quick text saying that we were here.

"This place isn't a secret at all." Carter scowls as he fixes his gloves.

"Yeah I know. We've been here before." I comment.

"Welp, see ya sis." Carter waves and heads off into a direction.

"Wait a minute. Where are you going?" I ask stopping him from leaving.

"My friends are over on the other side of the area." He informs me.

"You knew your friends were here? Whu didn't you tell me, I would have brought you sooner." I scold him.

"Uhh...I didn't think you were up for leaving the house. Taylor, you've been stuffing your face with poptarts all morning." Carter says with a teasing smile.

"If you had asked, I could have brought you. Poptarts are portable." I huff and cross my arms.

"I know. I will see you in a bit." He says before ditching me again.

I send a delayed wave before I look around to see if I can locate Nick or his friends. My search isn't very accomplishing. Ten minutes later I hear someone calling my name. I turn around to see Nick walking my way.

"Hey. I texted you forever ago." I frown.

"Yeah sorry. It takes time getting down the hill and over to the parking lot." He explains. Nick looks around, "Where is your brother?"

"He ditched me for his friends." I playfully pout.

Nick smiles, "Aw. Is he at the age where he doesn't want to hang out with his older sister?"

I sigh, "Why of course."

Don't get me wrong, I love that Carter is being social but I do miss hanging out with him. I won't be at home much longer and I won't be able to see him as much. We already don't see Xander often, and it will be hard on Carter once both of us are out of the house. I just wish Carter would be okay spending time with me.

"If it will help, you can spend time with my sisters. They really liked you." Nick offers.

I can't help but smile. His sisters are really sweet. "Thanks."

Nick nods, "You ready for some sledding?"

"Let's do this." I cheer.

On the way to the hills Nick shows me around but I do tell him I have been here before. So instead of getting a tour, we both exchange stories of our times here. Although I will admit I haven't been here since they added the lodge. Nick mentioned it was built over the spring/summer. The lodge is a place for the guests to hang out and get warm beverages after being in the snow all day. Nick said there was also a restaurant inside and that we would be eating there after we were done.

Nick and I finally reach the hill where his friends are located. I see Charlie, Catherine, Logan and Jay all bundled up in snow gear.

"Hey guys. Look who made it." Nick announces.

His friends look up at us and greet me. Jay, on the other hand, walks right up to me with a wide smile on his face and throws his arm around me pulling me to his side. I thought we fixed this problem.

"I have certainly missed you." Jay pouts at me and I roll my eyes in disgust.

"Jay." Nick says in a warning tone.

"What? I didn't kiss her." He scoffs. "Yet." He smirks.

Nick narrows his eyes at Jay and eventually Jay gets whatever message Nick was sending because he lets me go and walks over to Logan. On the way he mumbles something under his breath that I can't quite make out.

Charlie clears his throat to ease the tension, "Okay. Who wants to go next? Taylor?"

I bite lip and nod my head in excitement. Catherine also volunteers to go with me, since its a two person sleigh.

For the next two hours we all take turns sledding down the hills. At one point Nick suggests we both go together which I don't decline. I sat in front of the sleigh while Nick sat behind me. He stretched out his legs so I could sit between them. He then wrapped his arms around my waist. Nick said it was for safety but feeling his breath on the back of my neck had me thinking something completely different.

The feelings I was having for Nick weren't going away and I was getting frustrated. I never meant to feel something for him but it kinda just happened out of the blue. I wasn't sure how deep this "crush" was and I was doing my absolute best to keep it at bay for now. Nick being the gentleman he is wasn't helping either. He really has surprised me and that's part of the reason I feel something for him.

Soon we all declared that we were getting cold, well colder than we already were and headed inside to the restaurant. Charlie mentioned they made a reservation when he and Catherine arrived so we were seated pretty quick. On the way down the mountain I texted Carter to let him know I was at the restaurant and he said he would join us since he was starving. I informed Nick who informed Charlie who informed the waiter we had another person joining us.

Nick was kind enough to take my jacket and hang it up on the coat racks by the door. His little act of chivalry made my heart flutter and a smile to appear on my face that didn't go unnoticed by Catherine.

"He's single. You know that right?" She whispers once we sit down.

"I know. But I don't like him like that." I whisper back and the way I say it lets me know that it is a lie.

"Keep telling yourself that." She mumbles.

The guys come back after hanging up their coats and quick trip to the parking lot to return the sleighs. Carter also arrives to our table and plops down beside Logan since I was sitting between Nick and Catherine.

We all order and make small talk while waiting for our food. Carter even surprises me and strikes up a conversation with Logan. It's making me feel proud that he is making so much progress with being sociable. He's not weird, just shy...sorta.

Our food finally comes and my mouth is watering at the sight of grilled chicken and rigatoni with pesto. We all dig and continue our small talk until Carter brings up a new subject.

"How come Lacey didn't want to come? Have you two already split up for the rest of the month?" Carter questions.

His questions make my heart stop. These people know nothing and thanks to my little brother, new questions will be arising. I put my head down to avoid everyone's stare. I'm going to kill Carter later.

"Lacey is with her dad." I mumble but don't answer his second question. "We Facetimed this morning." I point out and send Carter a glare in an effort to get him to shut up. Carter does the smart thing and doesn't press the matter.

Thanks to Carter, the rest of our lunch is a lot quieter. Every now and then I feel them all glancing my way. Nick is the one who I notice the most. Except his gaze isn't wanting to know the meaning behind what my brother said. It's worry and concern. And out if habit I play with my bracelet, Nick noticed and suddenly something else clicks in his head. It's like he is putting the outside if the Taylor Croft puzzle but is missing the most important section, the middle.

If I want to continue being friends with him or even going a step further, I know I am going to have to tell him what happened. I don't know if I can do that.