A PRESENCE GROWN SO ACCUSTOMED THAT SHE'D BECOME A VIRTUE OF LIFE, ONLY TO DISAPPEAR, SITTING IN A FIELD OF SELF DEPICTED ASPHODELS, AN ETERNAL NOTHINGNESS IN WHICH HER HEAD EXISTED WITHIN, SWIMMING IN A SHALLOW RESOLUTE DEEP END.
It had been a long quiet drawn out morning, dews of morning sunshine fell upon her slightly tanner alabaster skin now, no longer too pale devoid of vitamins. She dusted the home in which she frequently left unoccupied. Scrubbed the toilets and washed dishes for some nearby restaurants in which were owned by elderly couples that paid her rather well, due to sympathy.
And like the older days, before Mikey came into the picture-- before the Tokyo Manjirou gang was even formed, it was Anari, Draken and Mitsuya.
But the girl missed her cousin in a way that couldn't be explained. Like she missed the arguments they used to have as children, but now, after looking after everyone for so long, especially Mikey .. he had grown more mature and ever more serious.
They couldn't have the expressive conversations they used to without Draken having a straight face. He was the only one who didn't treat her normally after Hiro had died. As if he were sure, absolutely positive, that Anari placed a façade for everyone to look at.
But he was just wrong.
"It's like you want there to be something wrong with me!" Anari slammed the glass jar of jam onto the counter top as she unloaded the groceries just bought from the store with Draken, but Mitsuya grabbed her wrist lightly.
"What're you yapping about?" Draken muttered, taking a seat on the bar stool.
After she'd gotten Draken to pierce her ears, it was the small little actions. Calling her at night, or calling her when there were thunderstorms. As if he'd assume she'd have a breakdown or be frightened of loud claps of thunder and hide in the closet and cry.
But she always declined his calls, always in the Sano home, never at her own.
Mitsuya was confused, or rather conflicted, how she nitpicked everything. Anari was as a little sister to him as much as his own.
There was a sudden ignition spark of this argument on the way home. And it wasn't a carefree one. But rather, it started by Draken asking the younger girl if she was alright out of the blue.
Anari had been okay, she always had been. Mitsuya never saw anything wrong, neither did Mikey or Emma, the people who spent the most time with her these days.
"Are you waiting for me to fall apart? The more you ask, the more you make me confused and make me thing that there is something wrong with me after all! Is it hard to accept that you're wrong?" Anari hated being the one that was looked down upon, she'd rather hold the upper hand like in the past, bullying Draken due to her higher intellect at the time.
"You're yelling. Where did your snarky comments go?" Draken popped open a can of soda and propped his elbows together, staring at the girl dully.
Anari curled a fist. The fight had accumulated so quickly, starting from zero, going all the way up to a heat that even caused the ice cubes left out by Anari to melt even faster. "I grew older, I changed, and so did you, so did Mitsuya." Anari wasn't the most important person in Draken's life anymore.
He never treated her closely with hugs and warm little words, but he didn't treat her as harshly as her elder brother either. The boy looked out for his younger cousin, and gave her someone to make food for, and care for.
But he never needed any of that. She did.
That was the difference.
"You don't see it because its your own delusion. You were planning to go to Mikey's today right?" Draken questioned. His eyes pierced through her own seafoam ones that were infuriated, brows that stiffened and furrowed together in contradiction to Draken's calm demeanor.
It was a predictable thing to unfold. "What about it?"
"There it is again. You're using Shinichiro as your replacement for Hiro. You don't see it? Ever since your brother died, you've spent almost every summer day going to his bike shop or going to their home to see him. Like you see Hiro in him for no reason. Because you're in denial."
"All the hair dying, impulsivities like piercings, tattoos, pretending you have feelings toward things you don't, you're running away. I'd let you continue, but school starts up soon. Summer's gonna end and you're gonna have to accept seeing Shinichiro and Mikey less because we go to different junior highs."
"And you're going to be distracted because of that. You're going to be so distracted that you forget about your studies and let your grades slip, and then you'll panic, because you hold your own self worth and pride in being the book worm nerd you are."
There was a standstill like quick sand pouring into every corner of the room, suffocating the oxygen supply as Mitsuya took one step back from the tension, placing a hand on Anari's shoulder. But she only marked her palms with crimson red crescents.
With a dainty smile, she pointed toward the door. "Get out."
"I'm not a coward. I just accepted it. That my brother was a drug dealer? That this was the path he was meant for? He was also a smoker, that could've also killed him young too. His friends? All rotten and dangerous, they also could have killed him. I grew up knowing this. Don't you dare call me a coward." Anari swung the door open and even grabbed Mitsuya, shoving him out, lightly of course.
Draken looked back at her with a scoff. "You call that acceptance? Fine."
The door slammed shut, it had rocked the house to its core and dropped a picture frame off from the dresser placed beside the TV. The cold reflective screen that collected dust she'd forgot to wipe as it stared back at her.
The monster she carved herself out to be.
If the aching sensation rotting through the tunnels and quadrants of her chest were that of guilt for arguing so bitterly with her cousin as she listened to his Zephyr zoom down the road like a roaring hostility of a lion .. then Anari would rather rid herself of that emotion too.
What a stupid childish argument.
And just as Draken predicted, Anari fled.
She fled to the haven of the motor shop owned by the very ravenette she'd nearly tackle upon the seashell chimes of entering the store as he stumbled backward and landed on his arse, careful not to have her plummet with him.
He was used to this greeting. It was much like his younger siblings who'd like to gang up on him .. to much success.
Three siblings, although it was tiring, he'd say proudly that it was probably the brightest thing in his life.
Emma who'd hang on his back as he'd tighten the gears to bikes, and Mikey who sat on the bike, pretending as though he was tall enough to even ride it. Anari was a child full of fascination that he loved to saturate.
The little twinkling aquamarine eyes .. today they were polluted. An ocean in which the waves no longer greeted him, but pulled itself through a patch, doused with buoyant oil that refused to sink and gathered at the surface.
As Shinichiro reciprocated the hug, her chin resting on his shoulder as he picked her up like the toddler she was, Anari's eye caught a stack of papers. Along with that .. the shop was empty and Shinichiro was dressed up .. as though he were planning to go somewhere. "Is today a holiday or something? If you're going to go out with your friends, I can head back to meet Mikey."
Anari didn't want to be invasive, nor did she want to stick around the first generation Black Dragons. It wasn't as though they were threatening or intimidating, she just didn't like being in between old people.
The ebony haired man only picked up the stack of papers with a soft smile, grabbing his keys. "Not my friends .. but a .. relative."
A relative .. as far as Anari knew and had known, for the Shinichiro siblings, their grandfather was the only relative left. Their parents didn't want children in the first place and were rogue and were also only children respectively, thus there were no aunts, uncles or even cousins.
Watching the clockwork in Anari's head work was compelling as she looked up to the older male.
The Sano's grandmother had passed away of ovarian cancer when they were just toddlers, eliminating the final option.
"Are you going to go adopt a dog?!" Her eyes twinkled as Shinichiro choked on his own spit, turning the other way, hacking at his lungs. Anari let out a good hearty laugh, finding the reaction beyond satisfactory until her face died away with a smug little smile. "If Emma is a half-sister .. what says you can't have more?"
Caught red handed, Shinichiro squatted down, patting the girl's cherry blossom pink hair and bangs that were ever so slightly grown out that they needed to be clipped to the side with bunny pins. "What can I say? I have a magnet for cute little siblings."
"Mikey and Emma don't know?"
"Not yet .. so this can be our little secret."
A gas of hot air set ablaze the end of the cigarette, allowing a puff of smoke to escape from the man's lips. That's right .. Shinichiro smoked too. The horrid scent of the burning chemicals reminded her of how their home used to smell.
The empty packs of the rotting tobacco rolls.
"Izana? He's a good kid at heart, just got out of reform school." Shinichiro zoomed down an alleyway following a question Anari had asked about the so-called sibling they were heading out to meet.
".. Reform school?" On second thought, she'd rather be stuck with the first generation Black Dragons.
He nodded his head, taking his eyes off of the road for a second as they stopped at a red light, obeying traffic laws, he pointed at the box in Anari's hands. "It's my gift to him. A pair of earrings. He's like you and me-- did a stupid way to get our ears pierced."
Almost on instinct, her fingers reached up to the earring chain that dangled from her lobe.
"Taught him how to ride a bike and how to be a delinquent. Even his style is as cool as mine .. It's always been a dream of mine to reunite all of my siblings .. you included Anari. You'll always have a place in our family. As Emma's sister .. as mine .. and even Izana's!" Sometimes, Anari believed,
there was no way this tender hearted fickle owner of a motor shop could have founded one of the mot feared gangs as of current.
Yet he'd always seem to prove her wrong in some way shape or form.
He was an awful fighter, and an even worse flirt. She'd seen it first hand. A drunk Shinichiro getting rejected and ended up bursting into tears, fleeing to his little sisters and younger brother for comfort.
It was probably his god awful hair at the time.
It wasn't a long drive, but the conversations made it last like an hourglass slowing down its grains of time like hands of a clock.
The pair arrived at a park, somewhere in the city. Not the bright bustling side, but the mellower and solemn abandoned part of town. Quiet and undiscovered with gems. Anari wasn't here often. But every once in a while she'd stop by with Mikey to buy sweets.
And at the park .. the only thing that kept it from being barren and lonely .. was a rather tall boy. Or taller than her and Mitsuya at least.
Ivory white hair that contrasted his dark tanned sun kissed skin holding a resemblance to his filipino descent mixed with japanese, eyes from what she could see from a distance away was a cold lilac purple.
To see him and Emma related? Impossible.
"Yo! Izana!" The moment his gaze flew over and brightened, Anari took full advantage of her small figure and blended in behind Shinichiro's shadow. Mirroring each movement, every step that slowly inched closer to what felt like a suffocating eternity of hostility wrapping itself around the girl's throat.
But even her dull pinkish magenta hair stood out against the complimentary tone of Shinichiro's darker colored outfit.
"Shinichiro—!" Izana beamed happily. His eyes curled into soft crescents as the ink black haired male's hand pat the top of his head.
The same hand that touched Anari.
"You're doing well, even rode your bike here on your own .. not only that it seems like you've been riding it a lot." From the worn condition of the vehicle, yet stable structure, the eldest son of the Sano family seemed proud in a way.
"I have a gift for you .. or gifts."
His amethyst eyes widened, allowing surprise to span across his face.
Turning behind him, with some amount of force to pry the child off, Shinichiro picked her up by the forearms and placed her in front of him where she only stood up to his chest. The supposedly fearless Anari had flinched. Flinched as the orchid eyes burned its gaze through her searing raw flesh. Lips that secretly curled into a frown, and pupils that contained a future of bleakness.
In that split second, fear ran through her veins .. but it was only for a second as her eyes began to glower in return, blossoming a monsoon in her tsunami of turquoise.
Fading away her enmity, Anari grinned. Holding a box up to Izana who only tucked it behind his back.
"Wow! You didn't need to .. I'll open it when I get back!" Even Anari was fooled.
How did a boy who contained so much bloodlust .. muderous intent that had her on such edge finer than the point of a kitchen knife that oozed out blood .. how could he switch to such an innocent pure hearted earnest child.
"Is this .."
Shinichiro crouched down. "This is Anari. I've mentioned her a few times right? She's Mikey's future wife, just about a little sister to me .. which means she's your sister too."
"So she's not your .. real sister." There was a cocky irritating grin on his face. As though he were boasting or bragging that he was genuinely related to Shinichiro and she wasn't. It felt pathetic being looked down on.
The pinkette frowned. "My sister nonetheless." Shinichiro tucked the keys away into his pocket, stepping in front of the two.
They had decided to go to a café for lunch.
Out of spite, pure spite, Anari, much to her dismay yet pettiness, held hands with Izana, beaming with joy to see a smile on Shinichiro's face at their merry delight of getting along.
Even whilst Izana tried to burst every vessel in her arm.
"You know Izana .. kun .. Mikey would be thrilled to meet you." There was a hesitation in adding the honorific. But Anari had done so anyway.
Shinichiro stared at Anari, blinking, before his eyes settled onto the coffee mug.
'So she read the letter.'
While Shinichiro was busy readying up, Anari took advantage of the time and read the letter that was left on the counter addressed to the man .. written by Izana.
And the contents of it were the root of her derived bitterness.
'Dear Shintaro, lately i've been having a lot of headaches. It hurts. It must be his fault. Please stop talking about Manjirou."
Your brother, Izana
How long had Shinichiro been in contact with this unhinged child? By letters .. visits .. how much fueled jealousy and hatred did this boy hold to prick her skin with such discontempt of his glare?
Anari .. didn't want to explore the unknown. But rather, she'd let the monster reveal itself in its true colors.
As of the publishing date of this chapter, I do not believe the anime is currently up to this point, therefore I am writing from the manga base