Trigger warning- This will have lots and lots of nightmares. If that freaks you out or makes you uncomfortable then please do not read.

Edit February 3, 2021: This shouldn't have any pronouns or physical features for the reader. Please let me know if this statement is false and I will correct the writing to make it true.

Not tonight. This will not happen again. Kakashi is finally back and he's happy. I will not mess that up.

"Hey (y/n)?" Kakashi called from the hallway. He smiled once he saw me, "you must be tired." He said, placing his ring on his nightstand.

I nodded and did the same thing, "yeah its about time you got back. You had to leave after we got married." 

He frowned and walked over to me, pulling me into his embrace, "I know and I'm sorry."

I held him just as tight, "I'm not mad at you, no need to apologize."

"Then why did you start bitching?" He asked.

I hid my face in his chest, "just frustrated. That's all."

Or you know, you finding out that I am a complete total freak show.

We stayed up a bit longer talking before he fell asleep. Leaving me in a pitch black room. I laid on my back, trying to look around the room to make sure that no one was there. The room was filled with the sound of rain hitting the roof. 

The more rain hitting the roof, the louder the noise got, the more nervous I became. I glanced over at Kakashi's sleeping form. From what I could see, he was at peace. No freaking out for him.

The next thing that happened, the next thing I saw was blood. Blood all over the sheets and Kakashi was still fast asleep. I blinked and it was gone. 

I was stabbed, shot and had an arrow though my heart. I started shaking.

"This isn't real," I whispered, "this isn't happening." 

The rain stopped. All noise was gone. My eyes slowly shut and I was off in dreamland once again.

----

I woke up the next morning and found the sun in my eyes. I sat up and looked out the window. 

New day, new morning, afternoon and another night to get scared.

Glancing over at Kakashi, only to find out that he's still asleep. We had a place outside of the main part of the village, it was nice and quiet. There wasn't any other houses for a good distance. I moved over to the window to let in more sunlight. It was a nice spring morning and all flowers were staring to pop up from the ground.

At least in the morning, nothing can hurt me. There's no way something can get me.

I felt someones arms wrapped around my shoulders, close to my neck. I jumped and tried getting away.

"(y/n)! Calm down, it's me! Kakashi!" 

I stopped moving, looking up at him. Shit.

We stood there for a moment until I just laughed it off. "Sorry about that! You scared me." I said laughing, knowing that he wouldn't take this lightly.

"What's going on?" He asked, releasing me from his hold.

I shrugged and walked off to get changed. "What do you mean? You scared me, that's all."

"I do that all the time and you've never jumped before."

"I was thinking, that's all." I replied, heading into the kitchen and then out the door. He called after me but I was already down the long dirt road.

I took an easier mission today. Trying to avoid getting home at night. If anything I wanted to stay as far away from there.

This is gonna pass. Just like last time. It's not gonna stick around much longer.

They ended up giving me a day mission. Meaning it took until the sun went down. Only Kurenai knows about what ever the hell is going on with me.

We were roommates a few years ago, before Kakashi and I started dating. She moved out to live with Asuma and after that we still would hang out. Hell we would even double date sometimes.

She only knows about this because one night to was way to real. Tears streaming down my faces and sobs racked my body. It was the first and last time she ever saw me cry. I started screaming, forgetting where I was. Hiding underneath my desk, Kurenai knocked on my door. I was still screaming and sobbing. She came in after picking the lock and held me close. She found one of my knifes and handed them to me, while still keeping one hand on it.

"It's okay, you're safe. I will not hurt you. We're friends and I won't do that to you." She told me in a calm voice.

"They're killing me!" I screamed trying to get away from her. She held me down and said, "no one but you and I are here. I promise. They would have been gone when I got in here." I calmed down after a few minutes. "Please..." I said, "please don't tell anyone about this." She nodded her head, "as long as you're safe, I won't. But when the right person comes along I will tell them."

----

I closed the front door of our house. Kakashi was sitting on the coach waiting for me. I went into the kitchen and he followed me. "Are we gonna talk about it?" He asked.

"When are you such a girl?" I asked, opening my bottle of soda.

He chuckled, "really? That's how you want to do this?" 

I shrugged, "all I did was ask a question."

"Why did you freak out so much this morning?" He asked.

I didn't answer, walking right passed him and into the bedroom. 

"We're a team now (y/n). You have to trust me with stuff." I shook my head and changed clothes, and walked passed him to get to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and coming back out of the bathroom, he was still standing in the same spot.

He sighed and climbed into bed. "You need to trust me." He said, "Kurenai told me, you know. She passed by you on your way to get your mission."

I frowned and climbed into bed, laying on my side to face away from him. "She told me that you hate letting people see that you're 'weak', even though you're not."

After a few minutes he sighed and said, "this isn't over. You know I won't give up that easily." He whispered, "good night, I love you." Before drifting off to sleep.

I stayed awake once again. This time it was the same but a little more. Getting stabbed again and again along with getting shot. Kakashi was still sound asleep this time too. No place to hid, I laid flat on my back and wished it would all go away.

Then again, when is anything that easy. 

I started shaking uncontrollably. First it was my hands, then my feet which moved my legs. This caused the whole bed to shake and of course woke up Kakashi.

He sat up and looked over at me. I was curled up into the smallest ball I could mange, breathing heavily. Doing my best not to scream, keeping my tears in check and trying to noe make things worse. 

He stared at me for a moment, user of what to do. He pulled me onto his chest and I pushed him away. "Stay away from me." I said in the most cold tone I could manage without letting out a sob.

He pulled me onto him again but this time he fell onto the bed. "I'm going to protect you." He said, "this is the only way that I know how to at this moment. You're gonna have to trust me. Nothing is going to hurt you. Not me, Naruto, Kurenai or Obito. I told you on the day we got married that I would protect you with or without your support."

I was still breathing heavily and sobs were getting closer to escaping. "This is not a weakness. This is something that you have to face. And God knows how long you've had to face it alone. But I'm here now and I will do whatever it takes to keep you calm and help you sleep. Don't do this all by yourself. Let me be here for you when you need to talk about it. I need you to talk about it and not keep it all in."

 After a few minutes after he said that, one sob came out. Then another and another. I stopped shaking but sobs still racked though my body. "I'm sorry." I tried to say, balling up his shirt with my fist. "I'm so sorry for being a bitch." 

He pulled me even closer to him, "no need to apologize."

I shook my head and buried it into his chest. His arms were wrapped tightly around my figure. After I calmed down, I drifted off to sleep. Knowing that I would be safe in Kakashi's arms.

............

LOVE YOU GUYS