JANELLE

WEDNESDAY

10:45 AM

"How has she been in school?" I asked my ex husband Kian. He sighed. "What was her Gpa before?" He asked me. "a one something." I shrugged. "It's barley a two." He says. I sighed because if she didn't improve her grades she had to go somewhere else to raise them. "Oh Cheyenne..."I groan. "I've never seen her do her homework." He shrugged. "Kids don't do homework infront of their parents Ki." I laughed. "At least Spencyr tells me she's going to do it." He says. "Do you really make her feel like she's unwanted?" I asked him. "Janelle really?" He smacked his lips. "Kian im just asking all morning I ask you something you've been belittling her." I say to her. "Did you check her to see if she had any bad marks or bruises after her fighting back to back?" I asked him. He didn't make eye contact with me. "Exactly. Maybe that's why she's acting out or in your words an unhinged bitch because the one person in her corner isn't." I say getting up because I was getting upset. "That is your twin..." He says behind me.

 I walked downstairs to Cheyenne's room. Both of my girls didn't go to school today and I can let them miss a day while im here. "Chi?" I say opening the door. I got in the bed with her. "Oh your hair is insane dude" I say trying to put her hair up while she was laying down. "What mom?" Her voice was horse. "I know you're in need of a mom talk... What's up." I say. "I'm fine." She lies. "Are you? Because I see one, two, three, and four bruises just on your back. So you're not fine have you told your dad?" I asked while touching her back and she jumped. "Stop! No, that punk doesn't talk to me." She says getting up. There was another mark on the back of her leg. "Has it been like that since you've been here?" I asked her. "No." She says. "When did it start?" I asked her. She looked up and thought about it. "When Spencyr came home." She bluntly says. "So it was good when it was just you two?" I asked her. "We really didn't see each other because he was working late but switched when Spencyr came home."She tells me. I nodded while digesting this in. "You don't have to answer this if you don't want too but do you dislike or hate your dad?" I asked her. She sat in silence for a moment. "Uhm. I don't know. I don't feel anything towards him right now." She says. She's numbing herself out. "Okay, why?" I asked her. She threw her hands up and shrugged. "I don't talk to him enough to hate him, and the only time we talk is when we argue and that's the only time I dislike him. Like what did I do so bad that I get shit after shit. I wanna go a friends house 'oh Cheyenne you're a fucking liar' I wanna go to the store 'who's and what's at the store that you have to go so bad'. Like yes you lost your daughter before but you left me in New York." She says finally cracking. I could see in the crack of the door that Kian was outside listening. "I was in New York with you babe, just because he left didn't mean you were alone." I say sitting up and sitting on the edge of the bed. "No mom you were there but you weren't. You worked your ass off and had another baby and I was just pushed to the side. Like now he asks how Spencyr's day was and im just invisible." She says bawling to where she couldn't breathe. I got up and cupped her face. "I know we both made you feel like a burden but I want you to know you are the best thing to ever happen to me Cheyenne. I love you and would do anything for you you know that." I say tearing up. I hate seeing my kids in pain. 

"Can I step in?" Kian says opening the door. Cheyenne ignored him and started scattering stuff around her room. "Kian I don't think..." I say shaking my head. "Jesus Janelle you can be mommy hero and make me the bad guy all the time." Kian yells frustrated at me. I put my hands up and sat on the bed. "Chi, can you look at me?" He asked her. She didn't stop moving. "Cheyenne?" Kian asked her again. She wiped her face and she looked at him. "Babe I know I've been hard on you and may seem mad at you all the time, but I love you baby. You are the start if this family and I just want nothing but the best from you." He says. Kian what? "Can I?- No." Kian cuts me off. I put my lips together and shut up. "I am sorry Cheyenne and if you do decide to stay I will be less touch on you." He says trying to touch her and she leaned back. Kian looked at me and I just shook my head. "Tonight for dinner ill bring home Osaka I have to head to work." He says. "We'll be here, have a good day at work." I say to Kian. "Thanks." He says walking out of her room. He says she's my twin but she's both of us combined. He hates when people ignore him and she hates it just as much. I hate when people be little me and she hates it just as much. 

"Do you believe what he says?" I asked Cheyenne. She shrugged. "I think I need to take a walk." She sighed while rubbing her head. She wants to smoke. "Okay, are you gonna go sit somewhere?" I asked her. "Maybe." She says putting a sweatshirt on. "Okay, just call me if you don't wanna walk back." I say to her. "Okay, I will." She says walking past me. "Hey..." I call behind. She looked at me. "I love you." I say to her. She gave me a fake smile "Love you too." She says walking upstairs. I sat on her bed and sighed. That's my babygirl and I hate seeing her in pain. 

***

CHEYENNE

12:15PM

I took a long walk by myself just to think. Do I really wanna stay here with y dad or do I actually wanna go back home and stay with my mom, fuck I don't know. I walked from behind the store and Fezco was chilling outside. "Hey, your phone has been going straight to voicemail are you okay?" He jumps up as he saw me. "I think I broke it after dinner last night I don't know where it is." I shrugged. "What's wrong?" He asked while pulling out another chair for me. I sat down next to him. "Before I start I do wanna let you know Nate and his family were over last night." I say bringing my knees to my chest. "I don't give a fuck, what's wrong with you?" He says looking at me. I was about to start crying again. "Nothings wrong with me- bullshit but go on." Fezco says. I took a deep breath. "Me and my dad have been just going at it for the last week and shit hit the fan when I heard he was talking shit about me, then he tried to switch it up and say he didn't say anything but I know my dad. I get shit talking from both of my parents were New Yorkers for christ sake." I say. "He switches up so fast when my mom is ever around and my mom love her to death I really do but she only know half of the story and it's from him." I say. "Why don't you explain it to him with her there?" He says rubbing my knee. "It's a waste of breath." I say to him. "I don't think so, Chey you look like you just smoked eight blunts your eyes are blood shot." He says. He's close I smoked five during my walk. "That's because I did smoke like eight blunts." I say slowly nodding at him. "Cheyenne..." He says looking at me. "Okay four and a half, wanna finish it?" I say pulling the blunt out my pocket. "Jesus that's why your voice is so scratchy." He says getting up. I ain't gone lie I do have cotton mouth like a bitch!

 He came back with a sprite and flamin' hot Doritos. My favorite! "Thank you." I say opening the sprite. "Yea, but have you had a chance to talk to your mom by yourself since she been here?" He asked me. "This morning..." I say while opening the chips. "And?" He asked. "I finally had what I to say to her and I guess the punk was creeping behind my door listening so he heard that... I was actually really hurt when they divorce and he left to move here." I say rubbing my eyebrow. "At least he heard you. But I'm sorry you're going through this." He says putting the lighter on my knee. I smiled and grabbed the lighter. "Then he's trying to bribe me with my favorite dinner tonight but I'm about to play him at his own game." I say lighting the blunt. "What's that?" He asked me. I told him to lean in as I hit the blunt. "The quiet game." I say looking at him while blowing the smoke out. "You're funny." He laughed. I handed him the blunt. "He will crack because he loves to pick with other people but when other people pick with him? Oh it's gonna drive him crazyyy." I smirked at him. "I'd hate to get on your bad side." He says leaning back. "I would too. I don't like me when im evil." I say with a disgust look on my face. 

"Did little you stay home too?" He asked me. "Yeah I don't think she's gonna go the whole time mom is here." I say shrugging. "Are you?" He asked me. "Yeah, if I wanna see Rue and Brynn." I laughed. "Why not see them after school?" He asked me. "Because there's and unspoken rule that we both know if we didn't go to school we don't get to go hang with friends and shit." I say. "What about us right now?" He pointed at hisself. "I told her I was taking a walk." I say to him. "What time was that?" He asked me. I widen my eyes. "I don't know earlier I didn't check the time." I laughed. "Now don't leave ya mama wondering now." He says. "But I wanna sit here with you..." I groan. "I wish you could but I gotta actually go handle that business I kinda run." He says putting his phone in pocket while standing up "Sometimes I forget your a drug dealer because you're honestly so sweet." I say getting up and hugging him. "Aww don't say that, you're making me blush." He jokes while resting his head on mines. "But find your phone and call me if you can." He says. "I will." I say heading back home.

 I didn't wanna say anything while I was sitting out with Fezco but you know when someone is watching you? Yeah I have been feeling like that since I've made it back to our neighborhood. Is it my dad? Is it Nate? Hell is it fucking mom I don't know. I wanna look back to see who it is, they beat me to it. I recognize this fucking Black Ram. It's fucking Cal. Why the fuck. is he following me?! I scoffed and shook my head. "What?" I say continuing to walk home. "What was that back there?" He says slowly driving next to me. "Oh so you were spying on me?" I laughed. "If that's what you wanna call it." He says. "It's because that's what it is." I say in a duh voice. "So are you doing or getting drugs from him?" He asked me. "That's none of your business Cal." I laughed. "I know but it is your dads." He says. "Cool, but neither one of yall can stop me being friends with anyone. Especially because of what they do." I say. "I advise you tell em before I do." He says. "Or what?" I asked while folding my arms. "Don't tell em, you'll find out." He says. "Cal I don't think you wanna play that game with me." I say smirking at him. "And why is that?" He asked me.  "When you go low... I go to hell." I say walking up my driveway. I'm not afraid of someone who's afraid of their own son.

***

4:15PM

I've been on the hunt for my phone since I been home. "What are you looking for?" My mom asked as I flipped the couch. "My phone." I mumble. "Didn't you have it when you left?" I paused. "Uhhhm, sure." I lie as I got up. "Liar." She says behind me. I ran upstairs to Spencyr's room. She threw or hid something as soon as I opened the door. "Oh it's just you. What!" She yells because she got scared for nothing. "Nothing, have you seen my phone?" I laughed because I scared her. "You look behind the bar? Theres a broken bottle and glass down there." She says. Oh... "What did I do down there?" I asked confused. "You live down there you didn't look?" She asked me. "Not for real, I just B line to stairs." I shrugged. "What did dad say to you?" She asked me. "I really couldn't tell you. I tuned him out." I say laying across her bed. "Did he say something to you?" I asked her. "No but mom and dad were just wondering about your grades this morning." She says. Spence is sneaky. That's my silent killer. "What did they say?" I asked her. "Your gpa is barley a two something." She shrugged. They're not wrong. I shrugged. "That's it?" I asked her. She nodded. "Well, they can go to school for me and raise it." I say looking at her. "Yeah right." She says. I got up and looked around her room. "What drugs you got up here?" I asked her. "I only got dispos up here... I sleep next to the whiny beast." She says. "That's what I need to get from Fezco. Can I use one?" I asked her. "I'll give you twenty bucks." I lie to her. "From where?" She scoffed. I smirked at her. "MOM?! Can I get twenty bucks?!" I yelled down the hallway. "Sure, for what?" She asked. "Drugs." I laughed. "What?" She sounds like she's headed upstairs. "Cheyenne!" Spencyr freaks out. Mom isn't like dad when it comes to weed. "You're fine, shut up." I hiss at her. 

Mom slowly walked into the room. "Now come again?" She says. "Can I get twenty bucks?" I ask again. "For?" She asked. "Mary..." I slowly say. "Who the fuck is Mary?" She asked me. "Jane." I say with a straight face. She looked confused until she figured it out. "Shut the fuck up Cheyenne." She laughed while pushing the twenty dollars into my chest. I handed it to Spencyr and went into her drawer. "Really..." My mom says looking at me. "Hey, we need it in this house." I say pointing the disposable at her. "You smoke too Bean?" Mom asked Spence. Spencyr looked at me. I nodded because you can tell her and she will find out. "No." She lies. I rolled my eyes. "Girl..." Mom and I say at the same time. "You ain't got to lie Spence." Mom says. "She gone find out." I say hitting the dispo. Mom nodded. "Fine, yeah." She admits. The doorbell rang. "See was that so hard?" I say walking out to get the door.

I opened the door and it was Rue. "Dude you scared me..."Rue says hugging me. I hugged her back and let her in the house. "I threw my phone somewhere downstairs and I can't find it." I say to her. "It's just you home?" She asked me. "Nah Spence and mom. Were in Spence's room, come on." I say leading her upstairs. "Mom you remember Rue, Rue, Janelle." I say laying across Spencyr's bed. "How is it fair that you lay across everyones bed. But when other people do it, you flip the fuck out." Spencyr asked. "Because im grown." I say biting my finger. "Yeah right." Mom says. I raised my eyebrow and looked at her. "Rue can you or want to stay for dinner?" My mom offered her. "I would love too but my mom would flip if she made dinner and me or Gia didn't let her know before." Rue says. "I understand." Mom laughs. "But me and Rue are gonna go look for my phone downstairs." I say getting up. "Alright." My mom says. 

"So are you coming to school tomorrow or...?" She asked as we got downstairs. "Holy shit... Cheyenne" I say looking at the damage I did last night. "You or the Hulk did this?" She asked me. "We're gonna go with The Hulk." I say flipping the couch right side up. "What happened?" She asked me. "I can't take my anger out on him... Why not his stuff." I shrugged while searching for my phone while trying to clean up. "Nah I get it. It be like that sometimes." Rue says helping me. "How was school without me?" I asked her. "Slower than usual, I ditched Jules about six times today." She says. "Why don't you just... I don't know break up?" I asked her. "I've tried but I just can't" She admits. "Well at least you're honest." I laughed to myself. "Only with you." She smiles at me. I laughed and saw my case behind all the cords from the game systems. "Hey we got something... and its just my case. What the fuck Cheyenne!" I say chucking it behind me. "Found it!" Rue says behind me. "Where?" I asked her. "Under the bar." She says. "I fucking looked there." I say getting up. I grabbed my phone from Rue and there was fucked up. "Oh let's hope this hoe turns on." I say going to my room and putting it on the charger.