Y/n's View

"Do you even fucking care?" Alexa asks starting to cry.

Even if we both break down tonight

There are so many words I wanna say but my mouth just won't open.

"I hate you, everything about being with you was a mistake." Alexa says.

And you say you hate me, and we go to bed angry

Alexa takes and her ring off and goes upstairs.

"Mama." Avery says walking toward me.

"It be okay." Avery says holding my hand.

I know everything will be alright

I smile and nod.

"You fix." Avery says.

"I fix." I say.

I'll be here waiting, I promise I'm changing

Avery smiles and I hug her.

I just need...

Time Skip

"She likes chocolate." Avery says.

"Who does?" I ask.

"Mommy." Avery says.

"Yeah, you should get her some." Nate says.

"Okay." I say nodding.

"Have a good day. Remember Uncle Tommy is picking you up after school." I say.

"Okay." Avery says as they get out.

30 minutes later...

"Bigfoot!" Someone shouts.

I turn around and see Zendaya running toward me.

"Bigfoot 2!" I say as we hug.

"I haven't seen you in forever. You looking for Alexa?" Zendaya says.

"Yeah." I say.

"I think she's in... that building." Zendaya says pointing.

"Thank you." I say.

I walk in for building and see Alexa sitting on a couch. Alexa looks up and stares at me.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Just saying sorry isn't gonna work this time." Alexa says.

I have her a Hershey's bar and she widens her eyes. She opens it and take a bite.

"What? It's that time of the month?" Alexa says as I stare at her.

"I didn't know your old ass still had one." I say.

She gasps and I laugh.

"I'm not good with words or love or anything. I'm not an open book and it hard to open it. When I do open up, I think I'm worth it. We've been together for 10 years and I still can't open up." I say.

A little time to show you I'm worth it
I know that I can be a difficult person

"I just keep giving you more stress and I'm not trying to. And I'm breakdown from exploding." I say.

I'm a stress case, drive you up the wall when I'm workin'
Actually, I'm probably worse when I'm not, you don't deserve it
Make you nervous 'cause you know I'ma break soon

"And every time I hurt you, you ignore it because you love me." I say.

Every time I do, I say somethin' that hurts you
Actin' like I'm gone, but we both in the same room

"A-Are you listening?" I ask as Alexa takes another bite.

"Mhmm." Alexa says.

She holds the bar in front of me and I take a bite. She giggles and I smile.

"I know I'm in the wrong a lot it's just hard for me to admit it. And you just think I don't care." I say.

I don't like to be wrong, which I know you relate to
And I know I make you feel like you're at the end of your rope

"You won't even say anything. I'll just leave you the fuck alone." Alexa says.

That's when I look at you and tell you I'd be better alone
Just the pride talkin', isn't it? 'Cause both of us know

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm trying but it doesn't look like I am." I say.

I'm the definition of "wreck" if you look into my soul
Comes out the most when I feel I'm in a vulnerable place
Made a lot of mistakes I wish I knew how to erase

"You're not good with words?" Alexa asks.

"No." I say.

When I'm afraid, might get distant and push you away

"From what you just said, you're pretty good with them." Alexa says.

But no matter the case, I'ma do whatever it takes even if—

I smile and she kisses me.

Even if we both break down tonight
And you say you hate me, and we go to bed angry

"I love you." She says hugging me.

I know everything will be alright
I'll be here waiting, I promise I'm changing

"I love you too." I say.

I just need...

Time Skip

Things were good for the past few days.

Time (Oh)
I, I need time (Oh, oh)

Now we're back where we started.

I just need time (Oh)
I, I need time (Oh)
Time (Oh), time (Oh)

"You keep saying you're trying but you're not showing me. It's the same problems we had when we started dating." Alexa says.

Yeah, way before I bought you the ring
We were fighting back and forth like you were wearin' the thing

"It's like you don't want me to have an opinion. You get mad when I disagree." I say.

Two passionate people not afraid to say what they think
Lead to passionate conversation when it's hard to agree

"It's hard for me to try when you won't let me! I try do to things differently and you say I'm acting weird. I try to do more stuff with the kids and you try to tell me why I can't." I say.

"I shouldn't be the only person who has to change." I say.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Alexa says.

"I love you so much and we've been through nearly everything together. I don't want all of this to be a waste over something that can be fixed." I say.

I hear rustling and I look around.

"Just the wind blowing the trees." Alexa says.

"Oh, it sounded like... something else. PTSD kicking in." I say.

"Just relax." Alexa says holding my hand.

You know me well, sittin' on the edge of my seat
Lookin' at life, overanalyzin' everything

"I had to fucking kill Danny..." I say quietly.

"What? Who's that?" Alexa asks.

"From the Navy, the double solider." I say.

I start to cry and Alexa hugs me.

"He was the dad I never had. I killed the only dad I ever knew." I say.

"I'm a murderer." I say.

"No you're not. You're a fucking hero. You know that." Alexa says.

Always depressed, tryna find a better version of me
Searching for somethin' I know's prolly right in front of my feet

"We just gotta stop being so stubborn." I say.

Stubborn as me? Maybe not, but you're close to it
Got a lot of issues, I'm tryin' to work through 'em

"Does that mean you'll go to therapy?" Alexa asks.

I sigh and nod.

"Okay." I say.

Going to therapy for you's somethin' that's worth doin'

"Baby, please go to therapy, I hate seeing you like this." Alexa says.

When I know you been there for me through all of my worst moments

"No fucking way." I say.

And I know it hurts knowing that I carry this weight on my chest
Making it difficult for me to open up and connect

"Uh, but you gotta let me hang with the kids alone." I say.

"I'm not letting you take them swimming in a shark tank." She says.

"They put you in a cage!" I say.

"Have you never seen 47 Meters Down?" She asks.

"Fine, whatever." I say.

"I love you." She says hugging me.

Lot of regrets, I apologize for all of the stress

"I love you too." I say.

That's not what I meant to do, you know I love you to death even if—

Time Skip

"Are you and mommy okay?" Nate asks.

Even if we both break down tonight
And you say you hate me, and we go to bed angry

"Yes." I say.

I know everything will be alright

"I told you she just needed chocolate." Avery says.

"It's never that easy. It's a lot harder than spending a buck on a block of sugar. You have to change even if you don't like it and that takes time." I say." I say.

I'll be here waiting, I promise I'm changing
I just need...
Time (Oh)

Avery looks at me and nods.

I, I need time (Oh, oh)

"When you go back to work?" Nate asks.

I just need time (Oh)

"Uh, after the New Year. It's busy in January so I want to spend as much time as possible with you guys." I say.

I, I need time (Oh)

"I had to bribe her to make her take all of those days off." Alexa says coming downstairs.

Time (Oh), time (Oh)

"With what?" Avery asks.

I just need time (Oh)

"Uh... slime." Alexa says.

I, I need time (Oh, oh)

I turn to look at Alexa and we both start laughing.

I just need time (Oh)

"What's so funny about slime?" Nate asks.

I, I need time (Oh)

"Nothing!" Alexa and I say.

Time (Oh), time (Oh)

1485 Words

AHHHH 😭