Chapter 43

"And at last I see the light. And it's like the fog has lifted. And at last, I see the light. And it's like the sky is new. And it's warm and real and bright. And the world has somehow shifted. All at once, everything looks different. Now that I see youuuu" I sing along happily with the movie, moving side to side on the queen bed in my very large cocoon and cozy blanket.

I didn't realize I wasn't alone anymore until I saw a light flash from the doorway of the room, looking over I see Chris standing there, his phone in hand and smiling like an idiot.

I'm blinded by another flash of light going off causing me to flinch at how bright it was, at that moment a flash of brown and white zooms in the room and jumps onto the bed- well more like on me- causing me to tip over and let out a wheeze at how surprisingly heavy the pup is.

I was thankfully able to get up but had to reposition my blanket as I got a companion snuggled inside with me, which I have to admit was pretty damn cute, especially when he popped his head out of the cover looking like he had a bonnet on his head like me. Which indicated even more pictures from Chris till he had enough to his consent and decided to join us.

I'm scrolling through Instagram, looking for any type of entertainment as I wait for Chris to join me and Dodger in the room again after making some snacks for us to munch on we continue watching the movies. I was about to click on the home screen and log out till I see a post that caught my eye,

"Captain America star Chris Evans talks all about his life after leaving the MCU franchise..." I click on the profile and link that they have for the article, it was dated about three months ago, which was around the time we were already with each other at that point.

I decided to read it as I didn't recall him saying anything about an interview when we were in his hometown,

"Chris Evans, America's favorite asset, if you know what I mean. Sits down with us as he gives us a house interview all about his lifestyle and adjustments he's making on no longer being tied down by the Marvel Cinematic Universe... but speaking of tied down, why don't we start off with the rumor of a mysterious new girlfriend that he was spotted with last month leaving the airport with. Now he didn't exactly tell us much as he tried to avoid the topic but what he told us got us wondering if there if it's even something we should worry about at all..."

I stop, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion wondering what the reporter meant by that, and decided to continue.

"Chris states, "hmm, well as I mentioned I am very single and I like to be able to breathe on my own and not feel so bound by someone. Yes, I do like finding that comfort in not being alone and having someone at my side, it's just something I'm not sure I found yet." Then he steers off from the topic and starts talking about the Marvel movies and-"

I stopped reading the rest of the article, feeling that all too familiar feeling of pressure in my chest, my throat tightening up and I felt like it was getting hard to breath. I stand up when I hear footsteps walking into the room.

"Alright, so I got the usual; kettle corn- since I know how much you love it- and got some Reese's pieces since yah know it's pretty much our thing-" he stops when notices me standing, "sweetheart is everything alright?" He questions, putting everything in his arms down as he steps towards me to grab a hold of me.

I step back from him, out of reach of his hand and I know the action hurt him as I saw him frown.

"Babe-"

"Don't you dare "babe" me Christopher," I spit at him.

At that he flinches as I never used his full name before. I didnt let him talk as I tossed the phone in his hand.

"What is-" he stops as he starts reading the screen, then he looks back up at me with a serious look, "this is not what it-"

"Don't you dare say that "it's not what it seems," cause that's the most cliche thing to say and right now I'm not in the fucking mood to hear a stupid line I've heard before in my life." I glare at him. "I thought this is what you wanted! I thought you said I meant the world to you Christopher and then you go and say this, not only when we were already together but even worse, I was in town when you mentioned this!" I all but yell at him, feeling my voice crack at the end. I let out a shaky breath as I feel the tears trying to push out.

"What are... are you crazy! Of course I want this. I want you. I didn't mean that. Heck I didn't even say it like that! Those bastards must have mixed my words around trying to make me seem like I'm a freaking jackass or not interested." He frustratly explains. I just shake my head, turning away for a moment as I try to recollect my thoughts,

"Oh really, cause I know damn sure that you do love being on your own and having your freedom to do whatever you please." I seethe at him, recalling the interview he did a couple years back about his view on relationships and his status.

"That was true until I met you!" He exclaims, getting just as worked up.

I shake my head as I run a hand down my face causing a few stray tears to come down.

"No one can just change their minds that quickly, and from what I can tell you're a stubborn man who takes pride in who he is and what he believes." I remark.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing anything!... You're the one who didn't have the nerve to tell me about this damn interview nor tell me about how that reporter questioned our relationship... or actually non-existent relationship as you put it." I bark at him, getting even more upset at him pointing the finger at me and trying to switch the conversation.

"I forgot alright." He huffs, running a hand down his face. "In fact, I really don't have to tell you every single thing that goes on! We're not married, not engaged or any of that shit... we're nothing." He paused, realizing what he just said.

I stopped pacing, feeling my heart drop as I heard the end of the sentence. I back away from him as he tries to reach for me.

I turn and run to the room grabbing my over night backpack and stuffing any essentials I will need and clothing. I hesitate at the door, looking at the key holder where the leash hangs but I shake my head knowing he's not really mine to take care of. I might love the pup like my own but he belongs with Chris more, I bend down to kiss the fur baby and bring him into a very tight hug and let go with even more tears streaming down my face as I hear him let out whimpers, as if he knows I'm leaving.

Making sure I had my two bags with me, I reach the livingroom to see him sitting on the couch with his back to me, his head held in his hands. I snatch my phone off the couch next to him, causing him to look over at me as I back up.

"No... no, please. Baby let's just talk-" I shake my head, I take a few steps back, keeping a distance from us as I knew that if I allowed him to gather me in his arms that I would just end up forgiving him and I just couldn't.

At least not yet.

"I'm-" I cut myself off as I was about to apologize, realizing I wasn't the one who needed to apologize, "I just need to go. Think things over." I whisper and with that I turn around and open the door walking out.

I open the door letting all my bags down, hesitantly turn around to see him standing at the door way with a look I never wanted to see on his face again and the pup trying to squirm his way out to me, barking up a storm.

I knew though that I had to force myself to look away, get in the car and leave or I would forgive him with a snap of my finger and I knew that would be wrong.

So I did just that and headed off down the road, and calling the first person that came to mind.

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