"I know, mum," Lauren sighed into her phone as she walked down the stairs with Camila rested on her hip. It was a Saturday morning, and Lauren was trying to breastfeed Camila, talk to her mum, and get some washing out of the dryer all at the same time.
"I'm just saying Lauren, it wouldn't kill you to come home more often," Clara said.
"Yeah, I want to but- Camz, baby, what's wrong?" Lauren cut herself off when Camila started to cry. "Mum, hang on."
"Mi-mi," Camila whined.
"I'm giving you mimi right now, angel," Lauren said in confusion, checking that Camila was properly latched onto her breast.
"MI-MI!"
"Okay, okay," Lauren said, putting down the laundry basket. "Mum, I'll call you back," she said before hanging up. "Come here, baby," Lauren said, swapping Camila to her other breast having come to the conclusion that she had run dry.
She sighed in relief when the little girl quietened down the moment she started suckling again, and quickly finished the laundry she was doing before taking Camila out to the living room.
"Are you done, sweetheart?" she asked Camila, who was now resting her head against Lauren's breast with her thumb in her mouth.
Camila nodded.
"Should we have some tummy time?" Lauren suggested.
She knew Camila wouldn't want to be put down, but she had some marking to get on with.
"Mama," Camila whined as Lauren put her down.
"Mama's gonna come sit right here and do some work, baby," Lauren explained.
"Play wif you?"
"Mila, what did Mama just say?" Lauren asked, sitting down cross-legged on the sofa and opening her laptop.
"Tummy," Camila pouted.
"It's good for you, angel," Lauren said, taking some of Camila's toys out of the basket in the corner. "Here you go," she said, handing the little girl her stacker toy and taking the wooden rings off so that Camila could put them back on.
"Mummy, is it time for bawway?" Camila asked, resting her chin in her palms.
"No, baby, ballet is after lunch," Lauren reminded her.
"Mila's a ballewina," Camila giggled, pushing herself to her feet and starting to twirl around, practising the dance she was learning in class.
"Just be careful not to get hurt," Lauren warned before turning her attention to her work.
About an hour later, Camila had become whiney and needed some attention, and Lauren decided she had done enough work anyway and so closed her laptop.
"Mama, up?" Camila asked, reaching for Lauren.
"Hi, sweetheart," Lauren smiled, bouncing Camila in her arms. "Hi, my angel."
"Please can I have a cookie?" Camila asked sweetly, swinging her legs.
"Seeing as you asked so nicely," Lauren smiled, putting Camila down and following her into the kitchen. "Do you want a chocolate chip cookie, mi vida?"
"No, Mama, dippy-dippy," Camila said, pushing away the cookie.
"Ohh," Lauren said, reaching for the biscuit tin instead. "You're gonna have to wait for Mama to make herself a cup of tea if you want to dip your biscuit," she said, opening the tin so Camila could choose what she wanted before moving to the kettle. "You can have two, doll," Lauren said, glancing over her shoulder to where the little girl was sat.
"Thank you, Mama," Camila beamed, picking a digestive and a custard cream.
"You're welcome- don't try and get down on your own," Lauren added as Camila was sat on the counter next to the biscuit tin. "Mama will come get you down in a minute."
"Time for bawway?"
"No, angel," Lauren chuckled. "But we can get you dressed after you have your snack if you promise to let me put a bib on you at lunchtime."
"Mila choose for Mama?" Camila giggled. Lauren had let the little girl start helping her to choose her outfits, which she loved.
"Maybe, sweetheart, but I'm going to the gym so you have to choose from my workout clothes," Lauren said. It had become her regular routine to go to the nearby gym while Camila was at her ballet classes, and she was hoping to convince Dinah to come this time. "We're going to bring DJ with us."
"Yay!" Camila cheered.
"It's 11, do you think we should try waking her up?" Lauren chuckled, adding a dash of milk to her tea before taking a sip.
"Dippy-dippy," Camila squealed excitedly, holding her biscuit out.
"Okay, gentle, angel," Lauren chuckled, walking over to stand next to where Camila was sat.
"Yummy," Camila giggled. "Mama biscuits are my favourite num-num."
"I'm ever so glad that you like biscuits," Lauren chuckled. "Maybe we could work on some veggies next, hmm?"
"Yucky," Camila scrunched up her nose.
"Let's bring DJ a cup of tea too," Lauren suggested, pouring another. "You're going to have to be a big girl and walk so Mummy can carry this hot tea safely, okay?"
"Kay," Camila said as Lauren lifted her off of the counter, half a biscuit in each hand. "Come on!" she giggled, running ahead of Lauren. "DJ!" Camila exclaimed, running over to the bed. "DJ up!"
Dinah groaned, rolling over and trying to push the little girl off of her.
"UP!" Camila shouted. "MILA SAID UP! UP! UP!"
"Heyy, gentle, sweetheart," Lauren said as she walked in.
"GET UP!" Camila screamed angrily.
"Hey," Dinah said, pushing herself up.
"Camila!" Lauren scolded, quickly putting down the mugs.
"Up, up, up!" Camila shouted, despite Dinah having sat up.
"Stop it," Lauren said, picking Camila up and holding her tightly.
"OW!" Camila screamed, bursting into tears and trying break out of Lauren's arms.
"What's gotten into her?" Dinah asked.
"I don't know- Camila, you need to stop this now," Lauren snapped as the little girl struggled in her arms. "That's it, you're hurting Mama now, I'm taking you to your crib and you can stay there until you calm down," she said, which only made Camila fight harder.
With much effort, Lauren made her way to Camila's room and managed to put Camila into her crib, which the little girl was thankfully too small to get out of on her own.
"M-m-mama," Camila choked out.
"I need you to calm yourself down," Lauren said gently but firmly, walking over to pick up a pacifier from the shelf and putting it down at the end of the crib. "You can use your paci if you want it, it's right here. I need to go see if Dinah's okay, because I imagine she's very shaken up, but I'll come back soon."
Lauren left the door slightly ajar, despite the fact that she'd be just as able to hear Camila's loud sobs with the door closed, and made her way back to her own room.
"What the fuck was that?" Dinah asked, walking out of the bathroom with her toothbrush in one hand.
"I don't know, it was so sudden," Lauren commented, resting her temples on her fingers. "She was so well-behaved all morning, and she was really excited about going to ballet."
"I don't even know what to suggest at this point," Dinah sighed.
"I left her in her crib to calm down, do you think that was a bad idea?" Lauren asked.
"I mean, we can't have her screaming the house down, but do you think she's capable of calming herself down on her own?" Dinah asked.
"No, she probably needs me to help her," Lauren realised. "I should go back."
"Give it a minute," Dinah suggested. Camila was still crying loudly, and as much as Lauren wanted to help her, it was clear that there was only so much she could do until Camila was at least a little bit calmer.
"Okay, I'm gonna go before she hurts herself," Lauren sighed, standing up.
She walked up to Camila's room, pressing her ear against the door before pushing it open.
"M-m-mama?" she choked out, reaching for Lauren.
"We need to do some calming down, angel, can you do that with me?" Lauren asked, picking the sobbing girl up and resting her on her hip.
There was a time to give the little girl some space, and there was a time to step in as the adult; Lauren knew that.
"Here's what we're gonna do," Lauren said, sitting down in the rocking chair with Camila in her lap. "Can you breath with me? Watch Mama breathing in," she said, inhaling dramatically.
While Camila did her best to follow, she was too distraught and ended up choking on her tears, exploding into spluttering coughs.
"Shh, okay, let's try something else, nena," Lauren hummed, rubbing Camila's back.
The little girl found it confusing to follow instructions ordinarily, let alone when upset, so Lauren tried to keep it as simple as possible.
"Baby, you know how we blow bubbles at the park? Can you blow on me? Can you blow on Mama?" she asked, knowing that the blowing action would force Camila to slow down her breathing. "Good girl," she praised when Camila managed to blow lightly onto her lips. "Again, sweetheart, show me again."
They kept going until Camila had calmed down and was lying against Lauren's chest, breathing steadily.
"Can you tell me why you're so upset?" Lauren asked gently. "You responded in a very big way to Dinah being sleepy, didn't you?"
"Don't like it when Mummy's don't listen, bad Mummy," Camila murmured, not looking up at Lauren but instead fidgeting with her jumper.
"I understand that it can be frustrating when an adult doesn't listen to you but-,"
"NO!" Camila shouted, squirming in Lauren's arms.
"Hey, shhh, I got you," Lauren said, tightening her grip on the little girl until she had calmed down. "Mama will stay quiet, you explain it to me," she suggested, realising Camila was feeling unheard.
"I don' wan Mummy to drink lots of juice and then shout at Mila and then sleep and then go in the funny nee-naw truck," Camila whimpered, sticking her thumb into her mouth.
Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, trying to process what Camila was saying.
"Scary, Mama," Camila said, finally looking up at Lauren with watery eyes.
"That does sound scary," Lauren said, resituating the little girl in her lap. "That sounds really scary, my love," she said, wrapping her arms around Camila. "But me and DJ wouldn't do that, we want to do a really, really good job of protecting you," Lauren promised. "I'd never get dru- I mean I'd never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe."
"But mummies do it," Camila protested.
"No, angel, that's not how mummies are supposed to behave, they aren't supposed to scare you," Lauren said, stroking Camila's hair. "They're supposed to give you cuddles and kisses, and tuck you in and help you tie your shoes, hmm?" she smiled, ticking Camila under her chin, causing her to erupt into infectious giggles.
"Does DJ hate me now?" Camila asked quietly once she had stopped laughing.
"No, no, of course she doesn't," Lauren reassured her. "She could never hate you, I think she's just sad that she upset you."
"Can we kiss it better?" Camila asked innocently, coking her head to the side.
"That," Lauren smiled, standing up with Camila in her arms, "is a great idea."
***