Chapter 19

"Dinah, I need you," Lauren put her head around the door of Camila's bedroom where Dinah was helping Camila with her homework.


"Is everything okay?" Dinah asked, standing up.


"Mummy, no," Camila whined.


"Aw, I'm Mummy?" Dinah cooed.


"Camz, can you wait in your crib?" Lauren asked, picking Camila up and lifting her into the crib they had just gotten from Serena's house.


"No," Camila argued, trying to climb out.


"We'll be back in a minute," Lauren promised before grabbing her girlfriend's arm and dragging her out behind her.


"God, what is it?" Dinah asked as Lauren closed their bedroom door behind them.


"Look at it," Lauren said, pulling up her top.


"As much as I love you, this isn't the time to arouse me," Dinah laughed.


"No, look at my nipples!" Lauren exclaimed. "They're all...weird and puffy."


"Lo, you're breastfeeding and you're on those pills," Dinah tried to explain. "Just the suction of having a child on your breast is enough to cause enlargement, you know this!"


"I'm just freaking out," Lauren groaned, allowing Dinah to pull her into a hug. "They feel so heavy."


"You're probably going to start lactating soon," Dinah smiled. "It's a good thing, Lo."


"MAMA!"


"Coming, Camila!" Lauren called, putting her top back on.


"Come on," Dinah said taking Lauren's hand in her own.


"I'm not a baby you can't put me in here," Camila argued as the two walked back into her room.


"I'm sorry, angel," Lauren said as Dinah helped her out of the crib.


"How about we eat dinner while watching a movie," Dinah suggested, balancing Camila on her hip.


"Yay!" Camila cheered.


"Camila, honey, you need to come choose what you want to eat," Lauren said as they walked down to the kitchen. "We can't have you just having milk anymore."


"Kay," Camila said, busy playing with Dinah's hair. 


"The first night with your high chair back and we aren't even using it," Lauren laughed nervously, opening the kitchen cupboard. "So, we got you some new stuff to try," Lauren said as Dinah put Camila down on the kitchen counter.


"I don't eat baby food," Camila scrunched up her nose.


"But you don't eat big girl food either, Camz," Lauren sighed. "Come on, we've got a few for you to choose from and when you're done I can make you a bottle of formula milk."


"Dis won, pwease," Camila lisped around her fingers that she was now sucking, pointing at an Ella's kitchen packet with her other hand. 


"Yummy courgette avocado," Lauren said animatedly, trying to excite Camila. 


"Gross," Dinah muttered.


"Gross," Camila imitated.


"Uh, that's enough Dinah," Lauren scolded. "Mila, baby, don't listen to her."


"M'kay, mama," Camila said as Lauren reached over to pull her hands out of her mouth.


"Lo, why do we have to eat so healthily?" Dinah complained as she scooped the very green pasta into two bowls.


"D, it's pasta," Lauren rolled her eyes.


"Yeah, weird spinach pasta," Dinah muttered.


"Oh, I'm sorry, do I need to get you some baby food too?" Lauren teased.


"Mama, hold Mila," Camila said, leaning towards Lauren who quickly caught her before she fell off the counter.


"Be careful, doll," Lauren warned. "Dinah, can you bring my bowl please?" Lauren asked before carrying Camila into the living room.


"What're we watching?" Dinah asked, plonking down on the sofa and handing Lauren a bowl of pasta.


"Frozen?"


"No."


"Frozen?"


"I said no, kid."


"FROZEN!"


"Hey, no shouting," Lauren intervened, stroking Camila's back in attempt to calm her down. 


"My little pony?" Camila asked.


"Omg yes," Dinah quickly agreed.


"What? We aren't watching-, you know what, it's fine," Lauren sighed turning the TV on. "Whatever you kids want."


Camila turned into Lauren's chest, yawning in a tired manner.


"Babe, it's not the time for that," Lauren said, realising Camila's small fingers had found her breast just like they always did. "No, nuh-uh, you can't latch on over my top," she sighed as Camila tried to suckle through her top.


"Do you need me to hold her?" Dinah asked quietly.


"I got it," Lauren shot her a small smile before gently pulling Camila off of her chest. 


"Mama," Camila whined.


"Doll, we can do it properly at bedtime," Lauren promised, opening the packet of baby food. Feeling something wet clinging to her skin, she looked down to see two wet patches on her top.


"Look who started lactating," Dinah said, realising what Lauren was looking at. "Told you so."


"I need to go change," Lauren sighed.


"No," Camila whined, curling up in Lauren's lap.


"Lo, can we just watch my little pony?" Dinah rolled her eyes. "You'll be fine."


"Okay, Camz, can you say aah?"


"Aah," Camila sung, letting Lauren put the opening of the pouch in her mouth. 


"Isn't that yummy?" Lauren encouraged despite the fact that Camila was already making a mess of herself.


"Damn, I love Twilight Sparkle," Dinah sighed half an hour later.


"Right, well can I leave you here with your fictional crush so I can put the baby down?" Lauren chuckled, nodding towards Camila who was rubbing her eye sleepily.


Dinah nodded, leaning back and turning on the next episode.


"Come on, my little munchkin," Lauren smiled, bouncing Camila in her arms. "You still need a bath."


"Mama," Camila fussed in Lauren's arms, kicking her legs.


"Shh, it'll be a quick bath," Lauren promised.


"Can I have a bath with you?" Camila asked.


"Not this time," Lauren said, walking into the bathroom and turning the tap on. "Let's get that diaper off of you."


"Not wet," Camila whined in protest.


"Of course not," Lauren said, taking off Camila's diaper.


She took out Camila's bath seat, putting it in the bathtub. 


"In?" Camila asked.


"Hang on, I just want to wipe you down first because your diaper was messy," Lauren said, grabbing some wipes. "Right, done, let's get you in your seat."


"Out," Camila whined, kicking her legs.


"Where's paci gone?" Lauren asked, talking more to herself than the tired child. "Here we go," she said, pushing it into Camila's mouth and sighing in relief as she quietened down.


"Mama?" Camila asked sleepily five minute later as Lauren lathered shampoo into her hair. "Almost done," the older girl promised,  using her hand to scoop the warm bath water onto Camila's head. "Don't cry, nena," Lauren whispered as Camila's bottom lip wobbled. "Up we get."


Camila nestled into Lauren's arms the moment she was wrapped up in her hooded duck towel which fell a little to far down over her eyes.


"You're mama's little girl, aren't you," Lauren cooed. "Yes you are."


"I want your milk," Camila said quietly.


"I know, let's just get you ready for bed first," Lauren said, lying Camila down on her changing mat.


"Can I miss school tomorrow?" Camila asked as Lauren lifted her legs up to slide a diaper under her bottom.


"No, baby, you have to go to school," Lauren sighed at how many times they had had that conversation.


"Cold!" Camila squealed as Lauren starting putting on the diaper cream.


"Stay still, my little icicle," Lauren laughed, taping up Camila's diaper. "Should we play the counting game?" she asked once she had Camila in her pyjamas.


Camila nodded, waiting until Lauren had gotten her comb before starting to count down from fifteen out loud, the game being that Lauren had finished brushing Camila's hair by the time she got to zero. Lauren had made it to make it easier when it came to brushing Camila's hair, something that often ended in tears.


"Zero, Mama," Camila yawned.


"All done!" Lauren exclaimed happily, picking Camila up. "Hey, hang on," Lauren said as Camila wriggled in her arms. She sat down on the beanbag on Camila's bedroom floor, leaning back and giving Camila a moment to get comfortable in her lap.


"Can I have your milk now?" Camila asked softly, pawing at Lauren's chest.


"Okay, love, there might not be a lot of milk so I can go make you a bottle after if you still need it," Lauren said, lifting up one side of her top and guiding Camila's head to her chest.


Camila latched on, sighing contently as warm milk filled her mouth. More than the milk, she enjoyed feeling so close to Lauren.


"Mama?" Camila pulled away, looking up at Lauren.


"What is it, honey?"


"Can you sing?" Camila asked shyly.


"Of course I can, angel, close your eyes," Lauren said, helping Camila to latch on again.


Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far, but you can always dream


Wish you may, and wish you might
Don't you worry, hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away

Got your wings, now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly fly away

You've been waiting for this day
All along you've known just what to do
Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly, butterfly fly away
Butterfly fly away


"Butterfly fly away," Lauren whispered the last line, planting a kiss on Camila's forehead before standing up and carefully laying Camila down in her crib, pulling her knitted blanket over her small body and tucking Mr. Bunny under her arm.


***



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