"What a sleepy little girl you are," Lauren hummed, bouncing Camila in her arms, having just gotten her up from her nap.
"Mama?" Camila murmured.
"It's LoLo, baby," Lauren said, watching as Camila batted her long eyelashes, slowly waking up.
The name seemed to have stuck, and Lauren was unsure as to how the best way to respond was.
"You've been struggling to sleep without a crib," Lauren sighed as she lay Camila down on her changing mat. "We need to get your cot from Mummy's house, don't we?"
"I don' need it," Camila insisted, kicking impatiently as Lauren took off her wet pull-up.
"Shh, stop wriggling," Lauren instructed, placing her hand on Camila's tummy in attempt to soothe her, only removing it once Camila had settled down. "Me and Dinah can't keep putting you back to bed once we've already put you down," Lauren explained.
"Mila's a good girl," Camila said, stretching out on the changing mat.
"You are a good girl," Lauren nodded. "Just not when it comes to nap time."
"A'cuz it's boring," Camila whined.
"But it's important," Lauren pointed out. "Now," she said, sitting Camila up. "Do you want to get some clothes on before your snack?"
"Nuh-uh," Camila shook her head.
"Didn't think so," Lauren chuckled, lifting Camila to her feet. "Don't run!" she called after Camila who had sprinted out of the room. Only moments later she heard a thump followed by the sound of crying. With a sigh, she got to her feet.
"M-m-mama," Camila sobbed.
"I told you not to run," Lauren sighed, bending down next to Camila.
"What's going on?" Dinah asked, jogging up the stairs.
"Fastest I've ever seen you run," Lauren joked as she scooped Camila into her arms.
"Haha, very funny," Dinah rolled her eyes.
"Excuse me, Mamas, I'm dying," Camila interrupted from her place in Lauren's arms, not enjoying the lack of attention.
"She really is your child," Lauren told Dinah with a laugh. "Camz, we were getting you a snack, weren't we?"
"Num num," Camila said, swinging her legs.
"We were just talking about how it might be a good idea to talk to Serena about getting Camila's crib and highchair," Lauren told Dinah as they made their way down to the kitchen.
"I think we've gone long enough without a crib," Dinah agreed.
"No crib," Camila groaned.
"Mm," Lauren hummed. "Do you remember where we're going today?"
"Doctor?" Camila asked.
"Good girl," Lauren nodded, putting Camila down on the kitchen table.
"Word of advice, don't give her yogurt," Dinah rolled her eyes.
"Why would I give her yogurt?" Lauren laughed.
"I want milk," Camila insisted. "Chocolate milk."
"Babes, what about an apple?" Lauren asked, crossing her arms.
"Mama's being silly, isn't she," Dinah said, tickling Camila.
"D, don't encourage it," Lauren hissed.
"It's cute," Dinah shrugged.
"Can I sit in your lap?" Camila asked Lauren.
"Sure, let me just make your bottle," Lauren said, taking out the carton of chocolate milk and pouring it into Camila's baby bottle. "We really need to get back into the habit of using your sippy cup instead," Lauren said as she heated up the bottle.
"Lo, stop it," Dinah snapped. "You can't let her run around in just a diaper and then not give her a bottle."
"Fine," Lauren sighed, walking over to Camila and lifting her out of her chair and into her lap. "Do you have a lot of homework to do?"
"I don't know," Camila shrugged, squirming in Lauren's lap.
"Okay, nena, I'll check later," Lauren said, rubbing the bottle teat against Camila's lips until she parted them. "Slowly, angel."
Camila nodded, turning into Lauren's chest and letting her hand find Lauren's nipple.
"Honey?" Lauren asked. "What're you doing?"
"Mama," Camila whined when Lauren pulled the bottle away.
"Sweetheart, you can't keep doing this," Lauren sighed. "Come on, be a big girl for me."
"Lauren," Dinah groaned as Camila burst into tears.
"Shh," Lauren stood up, bouncing Camila in her arms.
"Now she's going to be all worked up for the doctor appointment," Dinah sighed.
Lauren pushed the bottle back into Camila's mouth, hoping the teat would calm her down.
"There we go," she hummed as Camila quietened down. "I know you're my little Camz, and I know you're my baby, but I can't feed you like that," Lauren explained softly.
"P'wease?"
"Tell you what, I was going to talk to the doctor about this anyway so let's see what happens," Lauren said.
"Kay," Camila murmured, focusing on her bottle again.
It was two hours later when Lauren was trying to entertain Camila with the toys outside the GP surgery.
"Camila Cabello?"
"Here," Lauren stood up, pulling Camila to her feet.
"Hi, Camila," a doctor with wavy blonde hair smiled. "I'm Dr. Robbins, is this mum?" she asked, looking up at Lauren.
"Uh, I'm her legal guardian," Lauren explained.
"Right, come on in," Dr Robbins said, opening her door for them.
"Mama, look!" Camila said excitedly, picking up a barbie.
"I keep all the best toys in here," Dr Robbins winked. "Now, if I let you hold that barbie, do you think you could sit right over here for me?" she asked, gesturing to an examination table.
Camila nodded, reaching up for help to be lifted onto the table.
"So, what's the cause for this appointment?" Dr Robbins asked as Lauren sat down on the chair opposite to her desk.
"Well, uh, there are a few things," Lauren said, crossing her legs.
"Camila, how old are you?" Dr Robbins asked warmly.
Camila didn't reply, too busy playing with the barbie doll.
"She's 15," Lauren answered for her.
"And you're worried about her size," Dr Robbins said, observing that Camila was significantly smaller than most 15 year olds.
"Well, that and-,"
"It's a start," Dr Robbins cut her off with a smile, knowing what would follow. "We can talk about the rest after I'm done examining Camila."
"Sure," Lauren nodded.
"Camila, do you think you could come stand here?" Dr Robbins asked the little girl who was now crawling around the floor of her office.
"I should probably also mention that she has ADHD," Lauren said. "Camila, honey, can you come here?"
"Yup," Camila jumped to her feet, bouncing over to Lauren.
"Alright, munchkin," Lauren stood up, leading Camila over to the measuring tape on the wall.
"Feet together," Dr Robbins said, chuckling slightly at Camila puffing up her cheeks from holding her breath, as though she thought it would make her taller. "Okay, you are...4 feet and 5 inches," she said.
"Mama?"
"I'm here, angel," Lauren picked Camila up, knowing that she was getting a little bit cranky.
"I just need to take your weight, Camila, then you can go play while I talk to your Mummy," Dr Robbins explained. "Lauren, could you take off her clothes?"
"Yeah, of course," Lauren nodded. "Camzi, just sit still for a moment," she said, unzipping Camila's dress before helping her out of it.
"I don't think I can get her to stand still on a weighing scale right now," Lauren sighed apologetically as Camila fussed in her arms.
"Can I take her?" Dr Robbins asked.
"Here," Lauren handed Camila over despite the fact that she was crying now.
"Camila, I'm just going to put you in this cradle," Dr Robbins explained, putting Camila into the baby chair she usually used for younger children. "Shh," she hushed as Camila cried, kicking her legs while Dr Robbins strapped her in. "I'm just taking off your shoes," she explained.
"I'm sorry, she's had a tricky morning," Lauren apologised.
"I've had worse," Dr Robbins flashed her a smile. "Okay, Camila, you weigh 29 and a half kilograms," she said, stepping away so that Lauren could pick her up.
"What a good girl you've been," Lauren whispered, patting Camila's bottom.
"I'd like to talk to you without Camila in the room," Dr Robbins explained as Lauren put Camila's dress back on. "My assistant can watch her."
"Okay," Lauren nodded, giving Camila a quick kiss on the cheek before Dr Robbins took her hand.
"I think you've been so good that we can get you a lollipop and some stickers before you go," Dr Robbins said animatedly. "Marissa, can you watch her?"
Dr Robbins walked back into her office once Camila as settled, closing the door behind her.
"So, Camila is small for her age, you were right, she's only in the third centile for her age group," Dr Robbins explained. "But I know you're more concerned by her behaviour; it's not age-appropriate."
"Exactly," Lauren sighed. "Her cognitive ability level is significantly lower than any other 15 year old I've ever seen at school and she behaves much younger than her chronological age."
"I wouldn't worry about it, but I could refer you to a psychologist if you'd like," Dr Robbins said. "She's likely to have an attachment disorder, but that's not as big a concern now she's this age, but it might explain why she's so attached to you."
"She's also been hiding her ADHD medication, I'm not entirely sure how to get her to start having it," Lauren recalled.
"I can write her up a prescription for oral suspension medication so you can be sure she's taken it," Dr Robbins replied, typing something onto her laptop.
"Uh, there's another thing, it's kind of awkward," Lauren said, shifting uncomfortably.
"Go ahead," Dr Robbins smiled, closing her laptop and leaning back to give Lauren her full attention.
"She's very adamant for me to breastfeed her, and she gets extremely upset when I say no," Lauren said hesitantly. "I obviously don't have any milk."
"I think she just wants the comfort of being close to you, and it might have to do with the attachment disorder and wanting to solidify your status as her mother."
"I just don't want to get it wrong, she's already been through so much," Lauren sighed.
"I could prescribe you some medication if you want to lactate," Dr Robins said. "And it might help her put on a little bit of weight."
"I mean, I don't know what I'm doing and she doesn't know what she's doing...," Lauren trailed off. "It's just...,"
"Why don't we get Camila back in here and you can try dry nursing her," Dr Robbins stood up. "Just to make sure her latch is correct."
"Uh, yeah, okay," Lauren nodded.
"If you could take off your top and bra, that would be great," Dr Robbins shot Lauren a smile before closing the door behind her.
Lauren had to steady her breathing as she took off her top. Why did feeding Camila make her so anxious? It was only moments later when there was a knock at the door and Dr Robbins came in with Camila.
"Mama mi'k?" Camila asked the moment she saw Lauren's breasts, glancing up at Dr Robbins for confirmation.
"Mama doesn't have any milk, but we're going to try this out, okay?" Dr Robbins said, leading Camila over and picking her up. "Okay, Lauren, can you just cradle Camila the way you usually would?"
Lauren nodded, taking Camila in her arms.
"Good, now, let her latch on and I'll correct it if it's wrong," Dr Robbins instructed.
"C'mere, doll," Lauren whispered, moving the hand Camila's neck resting on closer to her chest.
Camila didn't seem confused at all, innately parting her lips at the shape of Lauren's nipple and wrapping her tongue around it, her lips fitting perfectly around Lauren's areola as she started suckling.
"You know, I'd say she's got a pretty good latch," Dr Robbins commented, using her fingers to push back Lauren's breast so she could make sure Camila was on the nipple.
"Should I be worried about, uh, this?" Lauren asked, nodding to Camila's hand which had made its way to her other nipple, as usual.
"No, it's completely natural," Dr Robbins reassured her. "It's your choice whether or not you choose to take medication to help you lactate, but just letting her suckle will likely be a highly effective way to calm her down, and if you do it regularly you will start producing."
"Right," Lauren nodded.
"How are you feeling?" Dr Robbins smiled, knowing all too well the magical bond between a mother and child when breastfeeding.
"It's...it's fine," Lauren surprised herself. "I got you angel," she whispered to Camila, stroking her back lovingly.
Clearly, Camila had known best all along.
***
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